TRANSCRIPT OF AUDIO FILE:

BEGIN TRANSCRIPT:

[00:02:10]

THERAPIST: Hi.

CLIENT: Hi.

CLIENT: How are you?

THERAPIST: Good.

CLIENT: I thought it was like a different time than usual.

CLIENT: Right.

THERAPIST: So I look at my calendar and Oh no!

THERAPIST: Come on in. Come on in.

THERAPIST: I think were you here since I got new furniture?

CLIENT: No.

THERAPIST: Office. Those two great chairs [inaudible] are turned around a bit.

CLIENT: Okay. Oh yeah.

THERAPIST: Yeah I know it’s different. I was gonna ask have you gotten anything from the insurance yet?

CLIENT: I did, and I was at the grocery store and was gonna go home first, but didn’t, so it’s like the first half is like $564 so I’m gonna mail it to you, because I had it on my calendar and I was gonna run home and get it.

THERAPIST: Great. Would you also if you don’t need it would you mind e-mailing, uh mailing the explanation of benefits? I just want to be able to keep track.

CLIENT: No I don’t need it at all. I’ll just mail the whole thing. And then I just put on the back of it paid order, put your name and that’s fine.

THERAPIST: That’s fine yeah. Usually what people do is they pay me and then they get reimbursed. But for grad students that typically on your

CLIENT: Oh. Okay.

THERAPIST: For grad students I know sometimes you just don’t have the money to put out.

CLIENT: Yeah!

THERAPIST: So that’s why. So usually I don’t keep track. That’s why they have a system in place for this, because I usually don’t [00:03:30]

CLIENT: Ohh, okay. It’s different than the way it usually.

THERAPIST: Right. I try to not have you put out too much money.

CLIENT: Yeah okay.

THERAPIST: That’s how I work it. So yeah usually I’m not so off cycle. Okay. But I know that sort of. So anyway if you could just e-mail or mail them to me so that way I could

CLIENT: No, no problem. Okay, so in the past so it’s been like a week or so, and I went home for a week. But before I went home I had an interesting experience so. I think I had mentioned to you before that I had had some issues with friends kind of in the past. Like not having friends that maybe weren’t right for me and my life, but not knowing how to sort of like say no to them, or how to. [00:04:17]

CLIENT: And so this particular group of friends that were people that I had used to work with. A couple of weeks ago they were having a party like a 30th birthday party for one of the girls, and it was sort of like 5 of us that were sort of friends in this group and they kind of left me out of the planning of the party, and different things. And I have been busy with school so it’s you know it’s understandable, but it was a little hurtful and it kind of brought back these memories of being you know being left out in the past. It sort of brought back old old feelings. And sort of experiences that happened to me when I was like in middle school and high school with people leaving me out, or not including me, which is not really the way you wanna feel with adult friends. [00:05:14]

CLIENT: It came to the party, and I actually went early to try to help them because I had the time, and you know tried to do all these things. And then I saw them kind of gathering to the side and there were other people there, and they were doing something I couldn’t figure out what it was, and then a couple of hours later an hour later they said everybody gather around, and we want to get a gift to this girl’s party it was. So it was all of them except for me giving this gift, and they got her a you know JetBlue gift card and said we are all gonna go to Vegas. But in this whole thing and this like [inaudible] and then you know people in the back were asking me do you know what this is, do you know? And I said no I don’t know what it was I wasn’t included, and the feeling it was like it was really weird because usually I’m like pretty okay I wasn’t included I can, but I think I had been feeling this like hurt kind of left out feeling and that was the culmination for some reason. That was like just made everything come back and made me feel like I was a little kid again, not being included. [00:06:40]

CLIENT: It was really weird, and my boyfriend was there and he turned to me and said are you okay? And I said no I actually not okay, and I had to actually leave the room because it wasn’t necessarily like the action or what was really happening then. It was the feeling that it brought back. And in a way though it was really cathartic almost. Like it was sort of like this is what I needed to make me realize that these are not people I want in my life, and these are not positive friendships. [00:07:40]

CLIENT: And I may have been, you know, there may have been very legitimate reasons, I’m in grad school so they didn’t include me, and you know. There are different reasons for it I’m sure. But it just made me realize that I don’t want friends to make me feel that way, and that moment and that realization allowed, gave me what I needed to sort of like know that I had to phase them out of my life. And it took all of that for that moment, or that realization to happen and then it kind of allowed me to reflect back on the rest of the friendships in my life right now that I have maintained and to figure out you know actually these are really good, the other friends are really good friends, and they know me and they don’t make me feel this way, and those are positive things in my life now that I have that you know are you know people that know me from college, and these other friendships that make me feel like I did when I was younger are not what I want to have in my life. [00:09:00]

CLIENT: But it was just, it was a really weird overreaction because it wasn’t me reacting to what was happening. And that it was me feeling like the girl that was left out. Like it was like I can’t even, you know I can’t even explain it because the emotions were so intense, the feeling of just you how could they be so mean? It was almost like that mean girls kind of feeling, and.

THERAPIST: You feeling small and helpless.

CLIENT: Yeah. It was just all the feelings that I don’t want to have to have, you know. As an adult, and I shouldn’t have to have them because I don’t have to go to high school every day with people. I can choose who is in my life and whether or not whatever they were doing, whatever reason it was for regardless of that I don’t feel good when I’m around them and I don’t think I should have people like that in my life, and I’ve never before I met them these particular group of girls. I don’t think I really ever experienced those feelings so fully again since like when I was a lot younger. [00:10:26]

CLIENT: So it was just weird to experience them again. But I think it really like. It was almost like it brought me back to a weird place but in a way I’m looking at it as a good thing because it allowed me to realize like these are not I can choose who is in my life, and I don’t want them to be in my life. And I don’t have to be like I’m never talking to you again. I can just kind of just say no to them and just kind of, but it was it just it took that experience for me to realize that. But I thought I just thought it was weird. That it brought back stuff that I haven’t felt or experienced in a long time, and it was quite, it was really painful. Just because I never. I haven’t been brought back to that place in so long. [00:11:30]

CLIENT: So it was I mean it was crazy to me to have that experience but like I said I’m looking at it as like as a really positive thing because its allowing me to like remember those feelings and to know that I don’t have like I know now that I don’t have to feel that way, and I don’t have to be around people that might make me feel that way. [00:12:02]

CLIENT: And ironically enough though I sort of went home for the holidays and I have a non profit that I’m on the board of and other people, my friend from high school had started, so the other people that are on the board are these people from high school that were like the popular kids that I don’t always made me feel so great about myself, but the ironic thing is that now as adults when I see them they are so kind to me, and so nice, and made me feel really welcome and we all have these you know great like mature relationships. So the people that may have made me feel that way a long time ago when I like I’m totally fine with them now, and actually think oh you know we’ve known each other for a long time, and like it’s almost like not a bad relationship at all. So that’s what I mean is the funny thing is they’ve maybe matured out of their behaviors, and so we all have these fine mature adult relationships. And these other girls that I’m meeting in my adult life are the ones that are making me feel like I did so many years ago, so it was just kind of funny to me that oh you know the people that may have made me feel that way a long time ago they have moved past that and we all you know are like totally fine with each other and I actually feel really comfortable with them. [00:13:32]

CLIENT: But then there are these other people that I’ve met that bring back these feelings and I just don’t want to stay away from them kind of. So it was a really, it was just a really strange experience to have.

THERAPIST: It sounds weird.

CLIENT: And I just, I’m almost feeling like you know because of this I felt therapy actually helped me to bring that back, because they don’t, because these girls have been acting this way towards people and things for awhile and I’ve known them for several years. So I think it took being able to like in a way it was good to be able to equate what they were doing to those feelings in the past because it was it gave me the ability to realize like this is wrong, and I don’t want this. [00:14:32]

CLIENT: So actually it was like really painful at the time, but I don’t feel bad about it anymore. I don’t feel I don’t feel a sense of loss. Like a lot of times if I think someone is not great for me to have in my life I have trouble moving away from them because I still feel like a sense of loss. But with this experience fazing them out of my life I don’t feel that. That’s what I’m saying this was almost cathartic. I don’t feel that sense of loss, I feel like it’s the right thing to do, and I don’t feel bad about it. So, and normally I would. [00:15:20]

CLIENT: So it was odd that it needed to be that kind of experience for me to be able to do that, but I’ve never been able to let go of people that I knew weren’t positive without feeling bad about it, or guilty, or feeling a sense of loss. And with this situation it’s like I feel like I’m justified so I won’t feel any of that, so yeah. Interesting experience but

THERAPIST: And this is before you went home.

CLIENT: This is before I went home, so I was worried. I was so worried about going home and what was gonna happen and then this actually happened before I went home. So I was like, oh great. [00:16:12]

CLIENT: But when I went home what was interesting is that I noticed that my mom was trying to not talk about other people, and I don’t know where that came from, but her sisters had been visiting who are very calm and try to talk stuff through with her. So I think they might have spoken with her, because she definitely had her periods where she was acting you know crazily. But she also had periods where I could tell that she was really trying to watch what she was saying and to have a real and meaningful conversation. Like I wanted to show her some documentaries about food and that I thought interesting and she actually sad with me and watched them and we talked about like organic, like it was different stuff that I was learning that I thought was interesting. [00:17:10]

CLIENT: And she wanted to learn more about the science and like so for us to have these other conversations that was definitely really, that was positive. So there were surprisingly actually positive pieces of the visit which I was really happy about that and I mean there were also the guilt, the same you know like the usual kind of stuff was still there, but there was positive, which was sometimes there is no positive, so that was I was really happy about that. But there was still like in the beginning you know there was the frustration where she would say like I want you to go to these places and do xy and z and I thought I haven’t figured out what we are gonna do yet, and then she would say well I guess, the whole guilt type of dynamic and then me getting frustrated. [00:18:30]

CLIENT: There was that, but then I think I tried a little bit harder to be more patient, and then I think she was trying a little bit harder. Well she was trying. Maybe not harder, but she was actually finally trying, and so I think between both of us trying it helped for us. It let us have these better moments, which was good. So it wasn’t there weren’t as many negative things as I thought there was going to be. I was really expecting the worse, but because you know we, my boyfriend and I went into Philadelphia one day. Like we did other stuff too to kind of break it up. And then we made a schedule and told her what our plans were ahead of time so she felt better. [00:19:20]

CLIENT: So we kind of like there was kind of like a give and take type of thing. So I might have had to try harder than I wanted to, or I felt like I was giving in a little bit more to her behaviors because normally I would just get so frustrated that I wouldn’t even be able to talk to her, but this time I felt like I was kind of like complacent kind of you know, okay we’ll walk just to try to get her to not get riled up. So, but that actually helped for us to have a better relationship. During the week, which was good. And she didn’t force me to go to church either. Which was also a break so there was it was kind of like you know both sides trying I think? So that experience wound up being more positive. [00:20:30]

CLIENT: Then I thought it was going to be, and then the other experience before that one being way more negative in a way than I expected.

THERAPIST: Do you think what happened before you left at this party impacted what happened with you and your mom at home?

CLIENT: I think that it might have because I sort of had this like mental breakthrough where I want to say that it may me realize what was important to me in my life. It was, I’m sorry; it was because it really was like a breakthrough I think. It was very odd like, it was like I found some kind of a clarity. It was like really weird to me because it made me realize, it made me be able to see what was positive. [00:21:30]

CLIENT: In my life and to want more of that, and to realize that I could have some control over the negative. So I think it made me realize, hey if I just, if I’m a little less stubborn, and you know get a little less frustrated with my mom then I can maybe have like a more productive relationship with her if I just try a little bit more. Because it made me see. I’m not sure that if the other thing with the friends had happened before I’m not sure if I would have been able to necessarily see the positive things that were happening. But for some reason I feel that what happened there allowed me to see a lot more positive. [00:22:40]

CLIENT: Like even stuff with my boyfriend. Like sometimes I got frustrated with him like, oh we didn’t buy gifts for your family yet, and you know all the different stuff like that. But then on the flip side because of what happened I was seeing okay you know we didn’t buy gifts for his family yet because he hasn’t had time to come with and he wants to be involved, all right. But on the flip side look at all these really sweet really great things that he did for me this past week. Look how he helped me out when I wasn’t feeling well, and we went into the city. Like I realized that all these great things overshadowed the one like littler thing that wasn’t actually that big of a deal. [00:23:30]

CLIENT: So for some reason like my thinking has started changing after what happened, because I used to feel like well maybe all my friends are sort of toxic because this one friend was toxic, and how do I see the good in my friends? And how can I see the good in I mean I really struggled with that, and I really felt like I felt like I couldn’t trust a lot of friends and stuff, and then once this happened with this one group it just made me see my other friendships and like with my other friends who I’ve known for so long. It made me see those friendships in a really positive light, and to realize like hey like this person has been there for me through all this and we really enjoy our time together. [00:24:30]

CLIENT: And it made my see my experience as with my other friends and with other people in a different other people that I’ve realized are generally there for me, in a different light. So it was kind of like just this experience has allowed me to see that I have a lot of people in my life that truly care about me. Which I’m not sure I was able to see before that. So it was kind of like, it was almost like seeing the light that wasn’t there before. It was actually, so it was like a really powerful experience actually, but it’s just allowed me to see a lot more good than I was able to see before. [00:25:20]

CLIENT: Because before I just saw everything that was wrong. And I felt like there was so much that was wrong. And now I’ve started feeling like there’s so much really good. And I’m like so happy about the rest of the friends I have in my life, and it’s almost like I want to actually like get some more genuine time with them. It just I really feel that I went through a period where nothing was making me happy, or making me feel fulfilled because I was so mistrusting of everything. And I don’t feel like I just its weird like I just don’t, I mean I’m sure there is a little bit of mistrust but I really don’t feel that way anymore like I feel like I have a lot of people in my life that really are there for me, and have been for a long time, and really care about my wellbeing. And just genuinely want to be there for me and they don’t want to do anything bad to me. [00:26:34]

CLIENT: And being able to see that makes me feel really lucky because I mean I know it was always there, but I don’t think I was able to see it before. So I mean so I think that it definitely, all this happening, definitely effected what happened with my mom in a positive way. And I think that it effected even spending time with relatives and talking with them in a really positive way. Because I had some really great conversations with Aunts and Uncles. I saw some of my boyfriend’s family and just spending time with them and realizing that they really appreciate me and everything that I do, and they genuinely care for me, and have a caring relationship and then just being able to see all the stuff that my boyfriend has been doing for me and how much he cares. [00:27:40]

CLIENT: He really cares about me. It was just. It was stuff that I don’t think I was able to see before. So it was almost like a cloud kind of was

THERAPIST: Lifting?

CLIENT: Lifted. Yeah. Because I’m definitely seeing things in a way that I don’t think I have been able to see them that way for a long time. So it was it was kind of like eye opening. Like it was almost like when someone gets cataract surgery and they can finally see everything again it was kind of like that. [00:28:30]

CLIENT: Being able to see everything from a different vantage point almost. And just realizing how much good there is that I didn’t see before. (pause) So yeah it was good. But yeah it just I think that it’s maybe also not feel guilty if I see any negative things or bad things kind of like creeping in again or if you know I mean the hard part is going to be is that I really felt terrible about myself around those girls and I don’t want to be around them, but they are still gonna reach out to me. [00:29:30]

CLIENT: And so the hard part is going to be just like saying no and distancing myself. And continuing to not feel guilty as they continue to reach out. Because after like all the initial stuff I realized you know I don’t want them in my life. I don’t feel bad about it, but as people continue to reach out to you eventually it could wear on me so I think the hard part is going to be not just with them but even with other people or other things in my life just realizing like that I have a choice over who I let in my life. And realizing that I do have all these great people that I have known for a long time that really do care about me, and that I don’t need to add people that could be negative just to be nice to them so that they are happy. [00:30:32]

CLIENT: Because that is just gonna take away from the good in my life. So the hardest part is gonna be kind of like continuing that and not feeling like well if I say no to them then they are gonna feel bad or you know they are gonna say this because that doesn’t matter. Because it’s not worth making them, like it’s not worth it to make them happy. But if I’m gonna feel bad because I’m more important than their feelings or what they are saying. So I know that, and I want to, it’s almost like I want to preserve this feeling, and I don’t wanna let my feelings of you know what are they going to think of me and all that stuff creep back in because I realized how toxic it is to think that way. [00:31:40]

CLIENT: Because it’s impeding on my own happiness, and my wellbeing, which is more important than their life and like I need to worry about myself first. And so I think that is gonna be the hardest thing because there are gonna be more people like that that I come across. And they are going to be, this group is going to keep reaching out to me to do things. Its gonna take awhile for you know. And so I think the hardest thing is going to be remembering that I need to put myself first. Because if I forget that then I feel like if I let them back into my life it can bring back some of this like toxic kind of like feelings and stuff that I don’t want. [00:32:40]

CLIENT: So I want to be able to remember that my feelings need to come before theirs or anyone else’s for that.

THERAPIST: What do you think would lead you to forget that?

CLIENT: Its sort of like falling I think falling back on like old habits, like not maybe I had a bad day or something, I don’t, I’m just trying to think of like. Well for example they had kept, they texted me a lot over Christmas and it was like group text and I didn’t answer any of them, but then I felt kind of guilty. A little bit. [00:33:30]

CLIENT: Because I thought about this one girl. Because there are a couple of people in the group like the girl whose birthday it was actually who I actually really I think that they are good people. I think there are other people they are surrounded by that aren’t good. So it’s well I thought to myself I should really at least reach out to Betty to tell her Merry Christmas back because she’s you know I really like her. So then I reached out to her, and then but then me reaching out to her lead to her sending a group e-mail about I guess. It’s sort of me feeling like there are a couple of people that are good people and I feel bad about cutting them out of my life because of the people they surround themselves with. So maybe I should try to you know say respond back to them, but then that leads to me being included. [00:34:38]

CLIENT: And so then I think like the bad habit. I feel like my bad habits are the guilt in worrying will this person be hurt, or what are they thinking of. I think that could eventually. I could eventually rationalize in my mind that these people are so hurt, and they are good people that I need to like reach out. You know reach out to them or give in to getting together with them. Like I think that guilt building up in the back of mind because to me it’s like well two of these people that really hurt me, it’s really the rest and they are just influenced by them. [00:35:30]

CLIENT: So it’s sort of like I feel like totally okay with not speaking to three of them but not that okay with not speaking to the other two. And so I think that is kind of like the issue is that it’s gonna, it could build up enough that I give in. So while I know that I need, I know that I need to put myself first because I want to preserve these good feelings, I’m afraid that my habit of caring so much about other people and their feelings would eventually lead me to like giving in. Like kind of like I would build it up over time like it’s been so long I feel really bad, I feel that I would eventually give in. [00:36:30]

CLIENT: And I don’t want to do that. But I think that is what could happen, because even though I had this really good breakthrough and I really see everything in a different way I still am going to have the habits and you know the back of my mind of worrying about and caring what others think. Even though now I realize how toxic it was, and is to me. Like I think that now I can realize that that’s, it’s like when you feel so good you don’t want to go back to feeling bad, and you know what made you feel bad. But at the same time kind of like an addiction or something you could still fall back on because you still have the tendency to do these things because that’s who you are. You have established these habits. So it’s sort of like you know that’s what makes you feel bad but you need to break the habit and if you let your guard down you might fall back into the old ways type of thing. [00:37:53]

CLIENT: That’s sort of how I feel about it. Like I feel like okay like I feel really good now, and I feel this great but what if I have a bad day or something and I let my guard down, and then I forget how good I felt. You know I forget something and then I fall back into this old way. I feel like that’s one thing that could happen and I don’t want to let that, like I don’t want to let them back in. [00:38:30]

CLIENT: Because I don’t think it’s just with them there could be. The thing is I could meet other people in my life or there could be other people that I come across that want my friendship, and want to take from me in a way. And want to you know whether they mean to or not, hurt me and do hurt me because I let them. Like how, I’m just worried about, it almost seems like I feel like okay I’ve assessed everyone in my life and I know what’s good, and I’ve gotten rid of them, and everything is good now. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to meet new people throughout life and how do I know that these new, how do I? Sort of like how do I know then the new people are trustworthy and how can I tell that they are not going to do you know the same things. Although I think with these girls the ones that you know are hurtful and nontrustworthy I think in a way I knew that from the beginning it’s just sort of like I worked with them, and you know. [00:40:00]

CLIENT: I think part of me knew that they weren’t genuine, but I just went with it. So I’m just worried that you know I’m realizing that I’m going to have trouble when I come across new people letting anyone new in. Because it’s like now I have this great status quo. So if I let someone new in what if they’re gonna do the same thing? What if they’re the you know what if I start caring more about their feelings than my own? What if the same things happen when I let this new person in? How do I figure out if they’re genuine or not? So like I’m a little bit worried about that because in a way it’s like okay you know like I was saying I know who is okay. And I’m a little bit worried about going forward and letting new people in because I’m almost in a way don’t trust my own judgment because [00:41:20]

THERAPIST: That’s what it sounds like to me.

CLIENT: Yeah. It’s sort of like maybe I trust my own judgment in the sense that in the back of my mind I know if someone is not a genuine person, but then I care so much about what they think that it overrides what is going on in the back of my mind head. And so it’s sort of like, it’s almost like moving forward I don’t trust myself not to fall back into my like addiction of putting it that way, of caring too much about what other people think. [00:42:14]

CLIENT: It’s like I haven’t been able to practice yet. Really you know not doing that with new people. And it’s almost like I’m because I haven’t been able to, I’m worried that I can’t do it.

THERAPIST: And you have a particular way of framing it in terms of breaking habits, being addicted.

CLIENT: Yeah.

THERAPIST: It’s sort of very behaviorally framed. It’s less psychologically framed like what would the motivation be in creating that and so forth?

CLIENT: Yeah.

THERAPIST: Which is interesting.

CLIENT: Well at this point I’m almost feel like it’s more of a behavior and less psychological because it really feels like it’s not something I think through. It’s like my natural, it’s like riding a bike, and my natural tendency would be to care too much about what other people think because I’ve been that for so long. [00:43:24]

CLIENT: And I don’t even do it, like I don’t even consciously do it. It’s just like happening.

THERAPIST: Right and that’s

CLIENT: That’s how it feels.

THERAPIST: I was thinking about that. The distinction you are making is that if it’s not conscious it’s not psychological then. Which is interesting? So then it could be unconscious and psycho. Maybe I’m just parsing words but I’m just thinking about, I’m like listening to how you are framing it. I’m thinking that I do think, I do definitely think there is a habit part to it.

CLIENT: Yeah.

THERAPIST: But I think that’s only a part of it. And I think the other part is psychology, which I appreciate isn’t like you think okay now I’m doing this, and I gotta do this. I understand that piece. I mean I understand that it’s unconscious. [00:44:10]

CLIENT: Yeah. I mean I think the reason that I you know fall back into this is because of you know did start with becoming hyper aware when I was younger of appearance, of all those things. So like it started with becoming so hyper aware, but now it’s just how I, it’s like how I exist. So for me to not it takes a big effort for me to not exist that way. Or think that way, or be so hyper aware. Like it’s takes a huge effort for me to let go, and letting go, I think I’ve let go a lot more than I ever have before. And now and it feels so good, and so great, but I’m worried that like at certain (pause) I don’t know how to explain how it like happens when I slip back into like my like I’m. [00:45:30]

CLIENT: Because I mean it happened at like one instance over Christmas where I hadn’t gotten a chance to get all the gifts that I wanted to get for James’s Aunt before we saw her to give her her gift, and I was like fixated on that one thing, and was freaking out about it. Even though I knew she wouldn’t care. And so James was trying to figure out why. He was like you’re having a panic attack and I’m trying to figure out it’s not because of this and its because of something else, and I’m trying to figure out, he was trying to figure out what is going, what else is going on. [00:46:20]

CLIENT: And it could have been because later in the day we were going to see family and friends that I hadn’t seen in like 5 years, and I could have been worried about them. Like there was, definitely was something else going, but sometimes it’s harder for me to figure out what it is, because I can and I can slip back into these ways of thinking, and now the stress of thinking that way is so strong for me that I actually have a panic attack. So it’s so uncomfortable for me to fall back into that now that I like now that I know what it’s like to kind of like relax a little. It’s so uncomfortable for me to think that way that I actually will like have pretty much panic attacks. [00:47:10]

CLIENT: When I start like obsessing, and then thinking about well what are they gonna think of me, and what are they gonna think of me. It’s like it feels so bad that I really do start hyperventilating and my chest gets, I start having a full blown panic attack. But I can’t, I can’t what is really triggering falling back into that way of thinking.

THERAPIST: Well I mean part of what is triggering it is that it is familiar. Why this causes you panic is interesting. Like I understand it’s unpleasant and that’s why you panic but I don’t know what. We are going to need to stop but I don’t know what to make of that, but it’s interesting. I want to think about it together.

CLIENT: Yeah. I mean I would definitely like to work through that because it’s familiar but now going back to that it just feels so terrible to me, and I just start. I start really getting into it though. [00:48:12]

CLIENT: Like it’s not like my usual like I have to do this what are they going to think. It’s like really a sense of like panic. It’s almost like it’s more severe. It’s less frequent that I’m thinking this way, but it more severe when it happens.

THERAPIST: Well let’s think through this, and unfortunately we have to stop for today.

CLIENT: No that’s okay.

THERAPIST: To stop for today. So I have you down. So next week I have you at 8:10 and then we have 7:10 after that.

CLIENT: 8:10 okay. I think I changed that in my calendar.

THERAPIST: And then also if you wanted to talk about another session.

CLIENT: Okay.

THERAPIST: [inaudible] [00:49:00]

CLIENT: Okay all right.

THERAPIST: Okay great so I will see you next week. Have a good New Year’s.

CLIENT: Okay all right. Thank you so much.

THERAPIST: Okay bye bye.

CLIENT: Bye.

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