Client "L", Session February 15, 2013: Client discusses a recent medical appointment, how her daughter's choices are impacting her relationship with her granddaughter, and a cousin's drug use. trial
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THERAPIST: Can you hear me?
CLIENT: Yeah.
THERAPIST: Okay, good. Are you free?
CLIENT: Yup.
THERAPIST: Good, good. Do you have some privacy?
CLIENT: Oh, yeah.
THERAPIST: Oh good, okay, okay good.
CLIENT: I can talk in front of the cats.
THERAPIST: The cats will let you say whatever you want.
CLIENT: Right. Ah-huh, yes. And my visiting nurse just left, so. [0:01:00.2]
THERAPIST: Oh good, good timing then.
CLIENT: Yeah, and Deborah is upstairs with her honey.
THERAPIST: Yeah, wow, okay, okay.
CLIENT: (laughs) Ah-huh.
THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah. So just a couple of housekeeping things. So next week you're good, we're on for 10:15, at the old place.
CLIENT: Ah-huh.
THERAPIST: Okay, good, good.
CLIENT: Yeah. I already booked my ride.
THERAPIST: Good, good. And that should be solid going forward, for the foreseeable future.
CLIENT: Okay.
THERAPIST: Okay?
CLIENT: All righty, yeah.
THERAPIST: Good, good. Okay, so yeah, tell me, where are things with you?
CLIENT: Where are things with me? (laughs)
THERAPIST: Where are you at? Tell me how you're tell me everything.
CLIENT: Ah, well I gave up my walker because that's a pain in the ass to walk with. So I'm using a cane and then are you there? [0:02:02.9]
THERAPIST: I'm here.
CLIENT: Okay. I find the walker too bulky, so I prefer the cane, but then sometimes I get nervous and I revert back to the walker.
THERAPIST: Why, because of stability?
CLIENT: Yeah, yeah.
THERAPIST: Okay, yeah, yeah.
CLIENT: So I you know, do them both right at the moment.
THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah, because what, you just don't have enough strength in your back right now, is that right?
CLIENT: Right, yeah, you know, that's like yesterday I did a lot of sitting on the chair and everything.
THERAPIST: Yeah.
CLIENT: And then just after a while I just can't do it any more.
THERAPIST: Okay. And then what, you've just got to lie down?
CLIENT: Yeah. That's where I am now.
THERAPIST: Good, good, yeah. What are they doing with what are they doing in physical therapy with you? [0:03:04.2]
CLIENT: Nothing. She never showed back up.
THERAPIST: She never showed up?
CLIENT: No. Why? Ah-huh.
THERAPIST: Wow, that's they just missed the appointment?
CLIENT: I have no idea but the nurse that was here, they're all they all work for the same company, was going to find out what happened to the physical therapist.
THERAPIST: Yeah. Yeah that's bad, you need that.
CLIENT: Yeah, yeah. I'm so sore. (chuckles)
THERAPIST: Are ya, yeah?
CLIENT: Yeah, yeah. What the heck.
THERAPIST: And what did the visiting nurse check in with you about?
CLIENT: My blood sugars and you know, how to change my diet and stuff like that, and my blood pressure.
THERAPIST: Okay. How are those things doing?
CLIENT: They're doing good, they're doing good.
THERAPIST: Oh, good, good.
CLIENT: And then she goes over my medication with me. [0:04:09.6]
THERAPIST: Okay.
CLIENT: She said, How many Percs do you do? I says, "Anywhere between six and eight." She says you know, you're only supposed to take up to five a day. I said what? I said wait a minute, let me go get my bottle. Right on my bottle it says take one to two tablets every four hours.
THERAPIST: Okay.
CLIENT: She says oh, well we have it listed for one tablet.
THERAPIST: Okay, yeah.
CLIENT: You know? Yeah. Straightened her right out.
THERAPIST: Straightened her right out, yeah.
CLIENT: Ah-huh.
THERAPIST: Yeah.
CLIENT: Yeah. And if you don't keep up with it, oh forget it, taking the pills you know, just when they're supposed to be taken.
THERAPIST: Yeah.
CLIENT: If I go anywhere away from it, like time wise, oh do I ever know it. [0:05:14.2]
THERAPIST: Okay, yeah, yeah. And so a lot of pain?
CLIENT: Yeah, yeah. You know, it's hard to sit down, it's hard to walk.
THERAPIST: I'm surprised you can even walk. That's I'm glad to hear it of course but I'm surprised you're able to walk.
CLIENT: (chuckles) Oh yeah. You should have seen me the other day going getting in the taxi, going to see the doctor up at the clinic there.
THERAPIST: Yeah?
CLIENT: And oh my God, first of all, I cannot get in the back of any vehicle, because I can't get my leg in. I have to sit in the car and then lay down so I can get my leg in.
THERAPIST: Huh.
CLIENT: And I mean talk about embarrassment, you know? I think the guy thought I was waiting for him to hop in the back with me, you know? [0:06:15.1]
THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
CLIENT: I said listen, I can't bend my knees, you know?
THERAPIST: Just what kind of taxi ride is this going to be?
CLIENT: Yeah, you know? So when I talked to the worker that gets me the taxi service, I said I can't do taxis. I said I can't get in and out of the backseat.
THERAPIST: Yeah, no way, those things are so low.
CLIENT: Yeah.
THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
CLIENT: I said, I'm going back to my chair car van.
THERAPIST: To your what?
CLIENT: Going back to the van.
THERAPIST: The van, yes, yeah, so at least that way you can step up.
CLIENT: Right.
THERAPIST: And they're bigger seats and they're not low and all that stuff.
CLIENT: Right, right.
THERAPIST: Is it sitting down and then getting up too, or what's it like?
CLIENT: Yeah, yeah. I mean, if I can just you know, tie a pillow to my ass, I'd be all set.
THERAPIST: Okay.
CLIENT: That's it in a nutshell with my backside. (chuckles)
THERAPIST: Okay, yeah. [0:07:23.0]
CLIENT: So, ah-huh, so.
THERAPIST: Well, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry that happened Louise, that's really it's really hard on you, God.
CLIENT: Can you imagine huh? Going in the hospital for hand surgery and coming out with a pacemaker?
THERAPIST: Unbelievable.
CLIENT: And then a week later I fall on my ass and break my tailbone? You know?
THERAPIST: Just, just yeah, what yeah, yeah.
CLIENT: Hey, if I ain't got the luck of the Irish no one does.
THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah. Well, I know that pacemaker really frightened you. It seemed like it was -
CLIENT: Oh yeah.
THERAPIST: Yeah.
CLIENT: Yeah. I mean, so this I mean like yesterday, Mark was here for the day, so um, he was like he wanted to look at it but yet he didn't want to look at the pacemaker, but then he changed his mind and then he had to feel the pacemaker. [0:08:27.2]
THERAPIST: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
CLIENT: He says, "Does it hurt you?" I said no, I said, "I guess I'm getting used to it now."
THERAPIST: Well, it sounds like he's testing it out, he's testing to see how he feels about you having it, how it is to touch you, how it is to -
CLIENT: Yes.
THERAPIST: You know, I'm sure sex is a question for him.
CLIENT: Well, we took care of that question yesterday.
THERAPIST: You did?
CLIENT: (chuckles) We did.
THERAPIST: How did it go?
CLIENT: Excellent.
THERAPIST: With your back and everything?
CLIENT: Well, I wasn't complaining.
THERAPIST: I guess you can -
CLIENT: I might have been dying but hey, I didn't complain.
THERAPIST: Yeah, some things you'll do, right? Some things you'll do for ah, some (crosstalk).
CLIENT: Yeah. And if I just tell him to go slow and easy he does, you know?
THERAPIST: Okay, okay. And how and it was satisfying? [0:09:32.8]
CLIENT: Oh yeah, oh yeah, three times.
THERAPIST: Three times.
CLIENT: Yeah, ah-huh. The third time, I had a house full of people and I told them all to get the fuck out. (laughs)
THERAPIST: Who was over?
CLIENT: My cousin Mary showed up and Deborah and Dolores were putting my groceries away, and Mark and I had gone out, because he had a car, and um, when we came back in when I came back in, because he went to park the car, I said to everybody, "Okay everybody, time to get the fuck out." And my cousin Mary is there and I says, "And you, what the fuck are you doing here?" Well, I was out. I said oh, I'm sorry, but my afternoons have always been for Mark and Mark only, whether he shows up or not.
THERAPIST: Ah-huh, ah-huh.
CLIENT: So she went upstairs with Dolores and Deborah. (laughs) [0:10:34.6]
THERAPIST: Wow, that's a trio.
CLIENT: Oh yeah, mm-hmm.
THERAPIST: Well that's, that's ah, I've got to say Louise, that seems to me to be like I guess you kind of putting your foot down with them, right?
CLIENT: Yeah.
THERAPIST: Hey, I want my privacy, yeah.
CLIENT: Right.
THERAPIST: Hey, well you know Deborah's had it right, why not you?
CLIENT: Yeah, you know, so hey, the hell with it, you know? Everybody else can have a life, I can too.
THERAPIST: Well, yeah, yeah, and I guess they left.
CLIENT: Oh yeah.
THERAPIST: They left.
CLIENT: Yeah. The may not have liked it but tough shit.
THERAPIST: Yes, yeah, right.
CLIENT: You know? I says to Mary, "Just because you ain't got a fucking man, don't mean I can't have one."
THERAPIST: How does she feel about Mark? [0:11:35.8]
CLIENT: Ah... eh? They don't get along famously.
THERAPIST: Is that right?
CLIENT: Yeah. Ah-huh. And neither do him and Dolores.
THERAPIST: Oh, is that right, okay.
CLIENT: Yeah, between the two of them. Well, Dolores wins, because you can't get a word in edgewise with Dolores. She doesn't shut up.
THERAPIST: Ah, okay.
CLIENT: Mm-hmm. And Mark, she'll you know, she knows everything, one of those.
THERAPIST: Okay, yeah.
CLIENT: And then Mark starts because he has to you know, get into the whole thing and oh, it's like you know, and I know my brother and my brother, and he's going yeah, like they're my posse. I mean it's like I don't understand a word they're saying. (laughs)
THERAPIST: What are they arguing about? [0:12:36.1]
CLIENT: Nothing. They just use that slang.
THERAPIST: Oh, okay, I gotcha.
CLIENT: You know that rap shit, you know?
THERAPIST: Okay, yeah, yeah.
CLIENT: I ain't into any of that shit, you know? It doesn't go with my color very well.
THERAPIST: I see, I see, yeah, I got it.
CLIENT: You know?
THERAPIST: Ah-huh.
CLIENT: Hey, nice time.
THERAPIST: Okay, yeah, yeah. Go ahead, sorry.
CLIENT: I just like being here with Mark and talking with him, whether we have sex or don't have sex, I just enjoy his company.
THERAPIST: It sounds like it, yeah. Yeah, listen, those afternoons, I think have kept your heart beating, you know?
CLIENT: Yeah, oh yeah.
THERAPIST: It's meant a hell of a lot to you.
CLIENT: Yeah, you know, so I ain't giving him up. [0:13:39.7]
THERAPIST: No, I mean you know when the it is something about there's something about Mark for you that I guess to me represents something that you get for yourself, you know? Somebody that gives you love and attention and yeah, he gives you a hell of a lot of other stuff than that too, but he does give you that and you don't get that, you know?
CLIENT: Mm-hmm.
THERAPIST: You know the times when you guys are just together, it feels like something very kind of you know, nurturing to you. Maybe that's not the right word but something that you get for yourself.
CLIENT: Yeah. I mean he talks to me about his problems. Oh, he got fired yesterday, ah-huh.
THERAPIST: He did? From the gym?
CLIENT: Yeah, mm-hmm. I guess they've got new management in and they're going around telling all their employees that they have to sign this paper that they can by it, no matter what, like if they just walk in and you know, all this stuff. He wanted nothing to do with it, so he refused to sign it. [0:15:01.2]
THERAPIST: Oh, okay, so they let him go.
CLIENT: Yeah. I said well what about Deborah, his wife, you know, because she teaches there. So he says, "Well she makes like seventy-five bucks an hour," he says, "and she works four hours doing a class," he says, "and that's every day of the week." He says so you know, I told her it was stupid of her to leave there, you know, with the pay she was making.
THERAPIST: Right, right.
CLIENT: I says yeah, I understand, you know? He was only working 20 hours or 25 hours you know, so it wasn't worth his aggravation he said.
THERAPIST: And is he on some sort of disability?
CLIENT: Him? No. He hasn't collected yet, it hasn't been settled.
THERAPIST: Okay, right, because he's like suing them for his back or something like that? [0:16:01.5]
CLIENT: Yeah. So you know, we talked about that and about his daughter, and we talked about my granddaughter who wants to commit suicide.
THERAPIST: What?
CLIENT: Yeah.
THERAPIST: What's this? What's going on?
CLIENT: I don't know, her and Deborah evidently had words to say on Facebook.
THERAPIST: Oh my gosh.
CLIENT: So Darla had wrote on Facebook, let's see Wednesday, how she hated her life, how she was ugly. She wrote I'm ugly, ugly, ugly, like six times if not more. I'm five pounds overweight, I've got skinny legs and blah-blah-blah-blah, and you don't understand me, I have these panic attacks and when I have them I just black out. Ella and my father let me stay home from school when I have these. I says well first of all, that's not good, for you to be staying out of school. You need to go and see someone that you can talk to, you know without Ella and your father being right there, you know? [0:17:24.5]
THERAPIST: Yeah.
CLIENT: I says if they don't get it for you, go to your school counselor and tell her how you feel.
THERAPIST: And she was reaching out to Deborah?
CLIENT: No, Deborah was telling her that you know, she should call her grandmother because her grandmother was sick. Darla, she can't do it. She can't do it in the house and evidently, she doesn't go out that much, so that's what brought it on, you know? So then she wanted to know why Deborah and her father broke up.
THERAPIST: Oh, of course, yeah.
CLIENT: Ah-huh.
THERAPIST: Good for her. She should by the way, yeah.
CLIENT: Yeah, you know, so I had to write her back this thing about how beautiful she was and everything and you know, I said when people I show people pictures of you, they can't get over how beautiful you are and you know, there's nothing wrong with your weight, there's nothing wrong with you. [0:18:41.9]
THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah. You know what? I think she's getting I think you and I have been expecting this for a long time, that there was going to be some feelings for her about her mother.
CLIENT: Yes. Why did her mother leave her.
THERAPIST: Yes.
CLIENT: You know, why did she just not want to be with her.
THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah.
CLIENT: Ah-huh, so I have to I had to explain that. I mean it was just you know, unreal.
THERAPIST: What did you say, what did you tell her?
CLIENT: I just said that you know, her and her father Deborah and her father had difference of opinions about raising her, you know?
THERAPIST: Okay. That's a good way to put it.
CLIENT: Yeah. I said well it isn't that she wanted to, it's just that you know, Bennett promised her the world and he couldn't afford to you know, put a roof over his own head, let alone yours and your mother's. [0:20:02.2]
THERAPIST: Yes.
CLIENT: I said, so it's much easier for your mother to let your father have you, so that you would have a roof over your head.
THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah.
CLIENT: So I mean, I know she has 101 questions to ask.
THERAPIST: Oh yeah, why did she take I mean, one of them being why would she pick Bennett over me.
CLIENT: Yeah.
THERAPIST: Which is what you've been saying, which you've known was going to be the question.
CLIENT: Yeah, mm-hmm. So I mean, I've always told her, anything she wants to ask, go ahead and ask me and I would tell her the tNaomi.
THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah.
CLIENT: You know, that's how it goes.
THERAPIST: Well, she sounds like she's in a lot of pain about it.
CLIENT: Yeah, definitely, definitely.
THERAPIST: It's good that she's asking though, I've got to say, Louise, it's good that she's asking and trying to find out these answers. [0:21:05.5]
CLIENT: Yeah, oh yeah.
THERAPIST: Because she's got some reckoning to do. I mean her mother has left her with some of these big questions that she's going to have to face, you know?
CLIENT: Yeah, I know. It's really a burden on Darla.
THERAPIST: Yes, yes.
CLIENT: As I say, most mothers have custody of their children.
THERAPIST: Oh, yeah.
CLIENT: And Darla doesn't have this, so. Hey, what can you do in a nutshell, huh?
THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah. Louise, how much do you think of it was drugs?
CLIENT: I really don't think that much, because her and Heath were smoking together anyways.
THERAPIST: Okay, okay.
CLIENT: You know?
THERAPIST: It's more Bennett, it's more Bennett. [0:22:06.9]
CLIENT: Well yeah, I mean Bennett was the one that I don't know, that she wanted, that she had met over at Naomi's house and decided that she wanted him, you know? And as I said, he promised Deborah that you know, if she left Heath, he would support her, him, and Darla. He couldn't even afford one pamper to put on Darla's ass.
THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah.
CLIENT: So I mean, I don't know where she thought he was going to you know, live with them.
THERAPIST: No, yeah, and it wasn't like she was saying Bennett, I'm not going anywhere, I'm sticking I've got to do what's right for my child no matter what. If you get your act together, then we can talk about moving in. She just went.
CLIENT: She just went.
THERAPIST: Yeah.
CLIENT: She just went and took the jump, you know? [0:23:07.3]
THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah.
CLIENT: So I don't know. And then as I said, I found her and him sleeping on park benches, they were sleeping in a tent and oh, all these weird places. You don't you know, that's love? Ah-huh.
THERAPIST: It was something to Deborah, it was very powerful, right?
CLIENT: Yeah.
THERAPIST: Very, very powerful to her. Bennett was huge for her.
CLIENT: Yeah, you know, so. But he treats her like a piece of shit.
THERAPIST: Oh, yeah.
CLIENT: Mm-hmm.
THERAPIST: She's not treated well at all.
CLIENT: No, no. Hey, what can you do?
THERAPIST: Well, yeah, I guess what you can do is what you're doing, trying to help Darla though this. [0:24:11.3]
CLIENT: Yeah, oh yeah, because I mean, I think once she sees me in person, she's going to come out with all these questions and it will be best that I don't know, I think Deborah should handle it too.
THERAPIST: Oh, yeah.
CLIENT: You know, Deborah should come out and tell her why this and why that, you know?
THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah.
CLIENT: Hey.
THERAPIST: Hey, I've got to say, you know I know that Deborah pretends like it's no big deal but you and I both know that you know the time that she was feeling suicidal, the first thing that she talked about was how guilty she was and ashamed she was of what happened with Darla.
CLIENT: Yes.
THERAPIST: She's very... If she could actually talk to Darla at some point about all that, I mean she's, she's you know? That would be good for both of them. [0:25:16.4]
CLIENT: Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely.
THERAPIST: I mean you know what it's like to have a parent that never said I'm sorry, that never said I did you wrong, and how painful that is.
CLIENT: Mm-hmm, oh yeah.
THERAPIST: And that doesn't own up to what they've done to you.
CLIENT: Oh, God, no. Ah-huh, not at all.
THERAPIST: Not at all, Louise.
CLIENT: Unbelievable. I don't know about these people, what I'm going to do with them. Ah-huh. (chuckles)
THERAPIST: Well, what are you thinking? What are you thinking? What's what are ya...?
CLIENT: I just wish that I could talk to Darla in person, I really do, you know? I'm really thinking of maybe, once I feel a little bit better, of going down, because right now, I could not get on a plane and sit for a couple of hours. [0:26:23.8]
THERAPIST: No, of course not, no way.
CLIENT: Ah-huh. It's like oh well.
THERAPIST: What would you when you think about going down there, what do you think you'd want to do when you saw her?
CLIENT: Just you know, hug her and kiss her and tell her all the things that have been going on. Her father was no angel either
THERAPIST: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
CLIENT: I don't know what kind of a rosy picture he's painting for her but you know. Mm-hmm. Deborah was more to blame than anything. Deborah still wanted to party. She didn't want to stay home with a baby.
THERAPIST: She didn't want to be a mom.
CLIENT: No. She didn't know how to be, you know?
THERAPIST: Yeah.
CLIENT: I mean let's face it, the reason why I left living with them was because of the fact that I didn't care for the way she treated Darla. You know? [0:27:32.4]
THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah.
CLIENT: It might have been my apartment but hey, Deborah was her mother, so you know?
THERAPIST: What did you see, what did you see?
CLIENT: Well I mean, Deborah wasn't the type that if Darla was screaming bloody blue murder, to pick her up and rock her or try to smooth her. That was me, you know?
THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah.
CLIENT: And a lot of things that Deborah should have done and didn't do. I really don't think she showed Darla enough affection, I really don't. Too busy you know, smoking pot and what have you not.
THERAPIST: Well, I was thinking that one thing about Deborah was that I mean I don't know obviously, but I imagine Deborah with a baby, it would be so upsetting to have a baby cry, that she couldn't take it herself. [0:28:38.8]
CLIENT: Right.
THERAPIST: That it was so hard on her that she would feel totally overwhelmed and not being able to help in any way, because she feels so intensely overwhelmed.
CLIENT: Yeah, you know? It was like, What do I do? You know? I was working and I just couldn't stay there, I just couldn't, because of the way she you know, she was.
THERAPIST: That was when Darla was with Heath still?
CLIENT: Before they split.
THERAPIST: Before they split, yeah, okay. I mean Deborah. What did I say Darla with Heath? I meant Deborah with Heath.
CLIENT: Yeah.
THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah.
CLIENT: But you know hey, I don't know, it probably worked out better, with them splitting, if they hated each other that much, then split, you know, so... [0:29:47.9]
THERAPIST: If who hated each other?
CLIENT: Heath and Deborah.
THERAPIST: They did?
CLIENT: Really, Heath didn't, I mean he had even gone out and bought her a diamond ring, to try to get her to come back, and she wanted no part of it.
THERAPIST: So what ended up happening? Deborah wound up leaving Heath with Darla, or Darla with Heath?
CLIENT: Deborah tried to take Darla.
THERAPIST: Oh, okay.
CLIENT: And the three of them went to Naomi's house and at the time, Naomi's house was nothing but a drug house.
THERAPIST: Oh wait, so Heath, Darla and Deborah, like you couldn't take it any more, so you ended up telling them they needed to leave?
CLIENT: No, I moved out.
THERAPIST: You moved out, okay.
CLIENT: I moved out.
THERAPIST: Wow. And then what happened?
CLIENT: That's when Deborah started acted up with leaving, you know, and going to Naomi's all the time and taking Darla with her, because Heath was too busy working. [0:30:57.5]
THERAPIST: Okay, yeah.
CLIENT: And not partying, and she didn't like that. Heath was trying to make something of himself, you know he was even taking courses at college.
THERAPIST: Oh, okay, yeah. He was starting to straighten his life out.
CLIENT: Yeah.
THERAPIST: Because they partied together, Deborah and Heath, before that?
CLIENT: Yes.
THERAPIST: Okay, okay, got it.
CLIENT: Yes, with my next door neighbors.
THERAPIST: Then they ended up staying in your apartment.
CLIENT: I don't think they stayed there. Heath did.
THERAPIST: Heath did?
CLIENT: Yeah, and as I said, Deborah went and took off to be with Bennett. [0:31:57.6]
THERAPIST: Oh, I see, so the three of them, you meant Bennett, Deborah and Darla, not Heath.
CLIENT: Yeah.
THERAPIST: Okay. So they went and stayed at Naomi's.
CLIENT: Yeah.
THERAPIST: Okay, got it, okay.
CLIENT: And that's when I wound up you know, going over to Naomi's one day and taking Darla, myself and saying that you know, no way was she living in that filth. It was like one of those big hippie communes, you know?
THERAPIST: Yeah, okay. And was Naomi living with her mother at her mother's house, and was her mother there or no?
CLIENT: No, the mother wasn't there.
THERAPIST: Oh yeah, you've described that place. Is it the same place that you described, with the dogs and (crosstalk).
CLIENT: Yeah, yeah, you know? Oh yeah, it was a motley crew.
THERAPIST: Oh boy.
CLIENT: Yeah, you know? So I just went in and you know, picked up Darla and said see you later, Deborah. [0:32:59.2]
THERAPIST: Of course, you had to. You had to think of the child.
CLIENT: Right, right.
THERAPIST: Think of the child.
CLIENT: Mm-hmm, you know? So um, Heath gave up the apartment and he went and moved back with his mother, with Darla. He went to court and I went to court with him and hey you know, the judge rewarded him custody.
THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah. It must not have been that hard, with all that information.
CLIENT: Right, right. You know so hey, why not? Mm-hmm. I don't know. I can't get comfortable. Ah-huh. Oh, oh, yeah. Okay.
THERAPIST: A little better? [0:34:05.6]
CLIENT: I don't know. I should just put a bulls-eye or one of those bat things right on my ass and just you know, let people throw darts.
THERAPIST: Oh, God.
CLIENT: It's so it sucks.
THERAPIST: Oh, gosh.
CLIENT: If I don't laugh about it forget it. (laughs)
THERAPIST: Oh, yeah. Well, God, we were just talking about all this stuff that you went through emotionally but yeah, you know physical, emotional, you've been through a lot.
CLIENT: Yeah, yeah, you know.
THERAPIST: A lot of heavy stuff. Going in there, going in to get your granddaughter away from your daughter, going to court, to have to do that with your own daughter, to save your granddaughter. That is some that's worse than any dart in the bottom. That is deep stuff.
CLIENT: Oh yeah, you know? Oh God, mm-hmm. So how did you do in the blizzard? [0:35:18.0]
THERAPIST: Say it again?
CLIENT: How'd you make out in the blizzard?
THERAPIST: Oh, it was fine.
CLIENT: Oh.
THERAPIST: Yeah, I was fine, yeah, yeah. I mean you know, I stayed in like everybody else but um, no, no, I was fine.
CLIENT: You didn't lose electricity or anything?
THERAPIST: No, no. You know, where I live, there's not a lot of there's just not a lot of tree branches falling on power lines.
CLIENT: Oh, yeah.
THERAPIST: That seems to be why the no, we didn't lose it.
CLIENT: Oh, good, good. Do you have a parking space out in the street?
THERAPIST: I'm lucky enough that I've got a garage spot.
CLIENT: Oh, good.
THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah, so that was very, very good. I didn't have to deal with any of that. I ended up having to shovel of course, but not my car out of one of those spots that you see everybody having to deal with, you know just a nightmare.
CLIENT: Ah-huh. So that was good then. I had Mary. [0:36:23.3]
THERAPIST: Mary came over?
CLIENT: Yeah, for the storm, yeah.
THERAPIST: Wow.
CLIENT: Ah-huh. So she got on my nerves.
THERAPIST: Yeah, I would imagine so, Louise.
CLIENT: Ah-huh.
THERAPIST: I'd imagine she would.
CLIENT: Especially when I found out she was back doing heroin.
THERAPIST: Oh, no.
CLIENT: Oh, yeah.
THERAPIST: How did you what did you find out?
CLIENT: Well, she went upstairs with Dolores and she bought one of those patches, a Fentanyl patch for your back, and she came down here and she passed out. She must have slept for maybe an hour, an hour and a half. Well, I was in my room, I was passed out you know. Evidently, she went up to party with Dolores and Deborah, and I guess she took out her kit that she has and she was saying to Dolores, Do you know anywhere where I can get it? You know? Because look it, I got my kit with me. [0:37:41.3]
THERAPIST: Needles?
CLIENT: Yeah.
THERAPIST: Needles, yeah.
CLIENT: Tourniquet, you name it. She had the whole thing with her. So of course they told me, but they told me after Mary left. So you don't know how much I wanted to rip into her yesterday.
THERAPIST: Wow, Louise.
CLIENT: Mm-hmm.
THERAPIST: Yeah, what are you feeling?
CLIENT: Well, when she went to go up with Dolores and Deborah, I grabbed Mary and I said listen, you're not doing any heavy fucking drugs upstairs, don't even think it. She just looks at me and then later on she says, "How come you always yell at me?" I said because you're my cousin and I love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't even fucking yell at you. I'd say fuck you, do whatever you want to do, you want to kill yourself, kill yourself. Let somebody find you with a needle sticking out of your arm. Who gives a shit you know? Ah-huh, oh yeah, she's just got me... (chuckles) [0:38:53.8]
THERAPIST: Oh yeah. Well Louise, you must be scared. She's you know, obviously ever since her analyst left, she's been on a course of self-destruction.
CLIENT: Oh yeah, oh yeah, big time.
THERAPIST: Big time, big time.
CLIENT: Ah-huh, you know, so hey.
THERAPIST: It's got to be scary, infuriating, sad.
CLIENT: Oh yeah. I mean you know, how do you live with I don't know. I just don't know. Here she is, living in some lady's house, renting just a room, and she's upset because the lady didn't buy any food for the blizzard. I says Mary, it's not up to her to feed you, it's not up to her to buy food for you, you know?
THERAPIST: Wow, yeah. Well yeah, so she's not even thinking clearly. [0:40:02.2]
CLIENT: Yeah.
THERAPIST: She's not thinking clearly, yeah, yeah.
CLIENT: Oh, what the hell.
THERAPIST: Oh, yeah. I mean, how long do you think she's been doing it, back on heroin for?
CLIENT: Oh, I'd say a while. That goes to show you why she's falling asleep in her fucking food.
THERAPIST: Oh yeah, the nods, the whole nod stuff, yeah.
CLIENT: Yeah, yeah.
THERAPIST: I thought it might have just been painkillers or something.
CLIENT: Me too.
THERAPIST: She's back on the heavy stuff.
CLIENT: Yeah, yeah, you know, so.
THERAPIST: How long had she been sober from heroin?
CLIENT: I would say quite a few years and the same with alcohol. She's back to drinking. She drinks the beer and then she drinks the bottles of nips. Mm-hmm, just like Mark. And she can put them away too, yup. She might be drooling but yeah, you know, so I don't know, I just I don't know how people can live like that, I really don't. Mm-hmm, you know, hey, who knows? Well that's about it. Are you still there? [0:41:41.5]
THERAPIST: I'm here, yeah. I'm just listening.
CLIENT: You're nodding out on me, who are you kidding?
THERAPIST: No, I you know what, I've got to say, there's just a lot of pain going on in this family, there's a lot of pain.
CLIENT: Oh, yeah.
THERAPIST: There is a lot of pain and you know, a lot of trauma in this family and a lot of sadness and a lot of people not knowing what the heck to do, all the pain. Especially the women in this family, have been through. You know certainly Mary, certainly yourself, certainly Deborah, and Darla.
CLIENT: Yeah.
THERAPIST: It's been hell on the women.
CLIENT: Oh, yeah, definitely.
THERAPIST: Hell on the women. [0:42:41.8]
CLIENT: Mm-hmm, oh I know. Ooh, ooh, yeah.
THERAPIST: And really, you know I'm just thinking about how the meaning of Mark. You know, like we both know Mark is not the perfect guy but God, he is at least a guy that gives you something.
CLIENT: Yeah.
THERAPIST: When the times are going well, you get something, and that is so important to you. And you sort of see, among all these women not having somebody that takes care of them, you know or getting something good from a man, it's certainly true with your own daughter.
CLIENT: Yeah.
THERAPIST: You know, whether it's her father, her grandfather, certainly with you, with your you know stress with your father. [0:43:50.1]
CLIENT: Mm-hmm.
THERAPIST: You know and Mary. I know she got a lot out of that relationship with that man and when he left, she really came undone.
CLIENT: That's true you know but hey, I don't know.
THERAPIST: There's just a lot of pain.
CLIENT: Yeah, oh yeah, oh, okay. Ah-huh. Well, Donald, I think I'm going to say goodbye.
THERAPIST: Okay, okay wait a minute.
CLIENT: I want to take a nice nap.
THERAPIST: Good, okay. I'm glad we got to talk, Louise, and I'll see you next Friday.
CLIENT: Okay. I'll see you next week.
THERAPIST: Okay, good.
CLIENT: Okay. All right, thanks.
THERAPIST: Bye-bye.
CLIENT: Bye-bye.
END TRANSCRIPT