TRANSCRIPT OF AUDIO FILE:

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THERAPIST: Hi. Come on in.

CLIENT: How's it going?

THERAPIST: Good, thank you.

CLIENT: I swear it was last week I'd just come back from D.C. and I was not feeling very well. It's been an exciting two weeks at work. I'm getting even more frustrated every day there. Last night I was actually there until 9:30 because of my boss's inability to focus on things. [00:01:01] We have a proposal due today that he just completely ignored us all day. I've been continuing to apply on craigslist to places so hopefully I'm out of there soon. He constantly makes these last minute rushes everyone's fault except his own. (pause) He actually scolded me a couple of weeks ago because we had an awards submission that was due by 4:00 down by the station and the person that was working on it didn't have his car that day. [00:02:15] I offered with him a half-hour before it was due because my boss made a last minute change, to rent a zip car and the two of us could drive it down together. We ended up hitting traffic and getting hit with a late charge on the zip car, but it was really our only option to get it down there. My boss scolded me because of how expensive it was. I pointed out that we were rushing because of the changes and it was still somehow my fault. [00:03:01] (long pause)

He actually admitted that it wasn't my fault once. That was funny. Tuesday before the Fourth of July I was on my way out of the office and he asked me to make a couple of revisions to an invoice that he wanted to be issued to a client. I made the revisions. He was in a conference when I left so I e-mailed it to him telling him the revisions were made, it's all set, nothing else needs to be changed, and I can send it remotely after he reviews it. [00:04:12] He sent me a couple of e-mails back as I was walking down to the square about how there were a lot of things wrong with it. And so I came back to the office and he actually admitted that these were all changes I wouldn't have known about anyway. (snickers) So he had asked me to revise something, but only gave me half of the information I needed. (pause) [00:05:17] It sort of goes back to that feeling of him setting me up for something and then trying to place blame on me for his own shortcomings. (long pause) [00:06:51]

I just feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle constantly with him. We had something going on right before the Fourth, as well, with one of our office [fender] (ph?) contracts and I had gotten an answer from this [wrap] (ph?) about one of the terms of the contract. I told him the answer multiple times and he still asked me twice that day double check, confirm this is it as if he thought I had (snickers) misheard information four or five other times over the past three weeks. (long pause) [00:09:33] I feel like I'm constantly also, just like with that invoice, trying to do my job with only half the information. We've had three new employees start over the past month and a half and (snickers) each time I've had to ask them for information that I should have had from my boss and it's information that I should have had but he never gives me, like their salary and such. (long pause) [00:11:28] I guess I can sort of liken the situation to things with Liam when I sort of feel like I was expected to know things in certain situations that I just didn't know related to how he was feeling and what was going on. (long pause) [00:14:17]

THERAPIST: It's like you were being left out.

CLIENT: Out of the loop.

THERAPIST: Yes. (long pause) [00:16:35]

CLIENT: It was actually weird. I ran into Liam at the airport when I got back from D.C. at 10:00 on a Sunday evening. He was at a convention in Portland and I was in D.C. It just so happened that my plane was running late and we ran into each other down at baggage claim. It was weird bumping into him after that trip. We caught up for a couple of minutes and then he said he'd like to hang out some more which was nice, I guess. We'd been getting together for dinner every other week and . . . [00:17:40]

THERAPIST: Do you miss him?

CLIENT: Yeah. Yeah. (pause) No matter how much I feel I'm okay with things, I still miss him a lot. (pause)

THERAPIST: Are there certain times that you think about him more? (pause)

CLIENT: I'm not sure. It really seems to vary and I can't pinpoint specific situations. [00:18:54] (pause) I don't know. Definitely doing things that we used to do together triggers . . . (long pause) [00:20:41] Sunday I was out with a group of people and there was sort of an inside joke that Liam and I had. Something triggered this by one of the people saying something and it made me think of him. I texted him and he found it funny. It's one of those things that, in the moment, you would turn around and make a comment and what that person would say; and not having that person to turn to and share in that inside joke in the moment . . . [00:21:30] (long pause) [00:22:50] One of the things I was talking to one of my friends in D.C. about was we both agreed early on that we would tell people it was very mutual and what not. One of the things I had been saying to my friend in D.C. and that I had been thinking about a lot is that while I have no problem going that route and have pretty much stayed that route, at the same time I have no problem admitting to friends and certain mutual friends that it really was not mutual. [00:23:44] (pause) I guess, to a certain point, a lot of mutual friends know that it probably wasn't. (long pause) [00:25:43]

THERAPIST: What are you thinking about? (pause)

CLIENT: I don't know. Basically my trip and how everyone I saw and the people I stayed with were all people I met through him. They were all his friends first. (pause) [00:26:49] It's kind of weird because you see these people for the first time in a while and the first thing everybody asks is, "How are you doing?" and they say it in that way that you know exactly what they mean. Not just, "Hey, it's been a while. How's it going?" (pause) [00:27:48] It's sort of nice that I went and saw all these people that I met through him because they all have known him for a while and know how he is sometimes. But it also made me feel better that, despite everything, they're still just as much my friend. (long pause) [00:31:45] It's just [ ] (inaudible at 00:31:47). (long pause) [00:33:22] I'm just jumping around today. I'm having a hard time concentrating. (long pause) [00:37:01]

THERAPIST: Where is your mind going to?

CLIENT: It's jumping between this proposal for work and the stress around that, back to my trip (pause) and back around to Liam pretty much. It's going in a circle. (long pause) [00:38:55] You would think after two weeks there would be more to talk about. (snickers) (pause) I was actually over at a friend's house on Sunday and I lost a lot of respect for someone that I wasn't too sure about how I felt anyway because it's someone that I've met maybe two or three times before. [00:40:04] He's standing there talking to me about how he may soon be breaking up with his boyfriend and, his reasons aside, I just found it in completely bad taste to be standing here talking to me, who you've only met two or three other times and don't really know that well, and you're telling me that you're going to soon be breaking up with your boyfriend. I don't know how long they've been together. It seems like they've been together for a little while, but it just seemed to have touched a nerve on many levels. [00:41:09]

THERAPIST: The bad taste was . . ?

CLIENT: To be publicly discussing this with . . . I guess part of me doesn't know and part of me still thinks that Liam sought some bad advice and, while I don't think well I know he wouldn't stand there talking to strangers at a little get-together, to be standing there and having somebody tell me this, it just . . . Yeah, it was weird and sort of an unpleasant conversation to have. [00:42:21]

THERAPIST: How do you mean Liam seeking bad advice?

CLIENT: I guess it's easier for someone on the outside to give the type of advice that it's not worth working on it, working to change things if you felt this way for a while. I feel he sought advice and he possibly sought advice in the wrong places from friends who aren't really in positions to give good advice on relationships. [00:43:34] (pause)

THERAPIST: So worried that he was influenced in ways that he wouldn't otherwise have chosen?

CLIENT: Yeah. (pause)

THERAPIST: We're going to need to stop for today, but there is probably more to talk about there.

CLIENT: Okay.

THERAPIST: Okay? I will see you next week. I'm away the week of the 5th, so that will impact our sessions.

CLIENT: Okay.

THERAPIST: Okay? Take care.

CLIENT: You, too. Try to stay cool.

THERAPIST: Thank you.

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