TRANSCRIPT OF AUDIO FILE:

BEGIN TRANSCRIPT:

CLIENT: Yeah I just...

THERAPIST: That's fine. I figured you just put on the airplane because the whole quarter...

CLIENT: Yeah, yeah, it interrupts...no phone call. Yeah, yeah I know. So I don't know.

THERAPIST: I guess it's been what, three weeks, a month since I've seen you.

CLIENT: I guess it's been since the week before, the Friday before the bombing. So it was the 12th. Yeah.

THERAPIST: Wow.

CLIENT: Yeah. Yeah, because we talked on Friday...the Friday of the September shut down. Most of them went to [inaudible 01:04] and so Stephanie...well, it feels like ancient history now. It feels truly like ancient history, but she sent us the photo after he was declared dead. She was [inaudible 01:26] tourist and so it's like wow, yeah. Run over birds. [inaudible 01:36] there is.

THERAPIST: He was shot a lot.

CLIENT: The thing is this is soothing. He looks like a total douche bag with his hat, right. Clean shaven walking down the street. And yet in reality he looks like he did when he was boxing. I mean you know, a little unshaven, bald hair. So the reality of it is he's lying there dead. He actually looks like an attractive guy.

[02:15]

So she saw him there. She saw him. She did and then...she didn't take the photo. It was taken by a state trooper. Somehow I feel like, kind of it's strange that would be disseminated to someone.

THERAPIST: I heard about the pictures. That's that picture that's been going around.

CLIENT: Is that the picture? I haven't Googled it.

THERAPIST: Somebody; I haven't seen it, but somebody else was telling me about it. I heard it on Twitter too. Somewhere floating around.

CLIENT: Well if that's the case it makes you wonder if it was sort of released on purpose just for the almost like to demonstrate hey, the guy is dead. And so for your family members who want to say, hey, he didn't die; here he is. You know. But...so...

THERAPIST: Or some way to have closure. We don't want to say we have closure [inaudible 03:22].

CLIENT: So a case we're working on in like these parallel tracks. Like I said, you know, like I said last time, there's this feeling like revving up and putting things in boxes and just you know, it was this routine of packing, packing, packing and finally getting to the point where you sort of think that what exactly is essential that you can live with? And what can you do without? So it's like within the actual bed. We didn't have curtains in the bedroom up to a certain point so you could sleep at night. We have a tea pot. We have a frying pan. We have a little bit of food in the fridge. So is it's a sense of like the last week; feel like we're camping, right.

[04:13]

Meanwhile, so deconstructing that life, and then also building up, right. You're doing your Algebra mid-term. So holding on to these abstract ideas. So okay, Thursday night, the movers are coming on Friday, Thursday night is a test. Okay, whatever energy is ours, put a cross, right. And I don't know how I'm going to react to it.

So but everything was organized. And so you know packing and going around and like trying to be a good person. So we have...we had at that place 21 windows. All but three of them had these restoration hardware curtain rods that were put in to the wood with these brass wood screws and then these curtains. So you take those off because you want to keep the rods and keep curtains but then you have these big holes. They're not just nail holes; they're big screw holes. So this routine of like every couple of days you're going like well, the curtains are getting down. Better it being the last one. Of course all the custom blinds which we don't have room for those so again, so something you know you're taking down, you fill with wood putty, carefully sand the next day after the sand and paste. It's this whole routine in doing that which we find out later we didn't have to do. But it's good to do it, right. You want to leave the place in good care. So now it's you can't even tell there were curtains which is perfect. So it's that satisfaction of like leaving it for somebody. Meanwhile, trying to study.

[06:08]

So bring in parallel tracks. Different energies. I go take the exam. And I really feel good about it. And I very rarely feel really good about it. I always feel like you know, I did alright. There was something I didn't really get because that's the way it is for me now currently and anyway...and I'm okay with it. I don't know if I'm okay with it, but I feel like alright. Well that's sort of the way it is. You do the best you can and you know.

So I took that and felt really good about it and then left the class and I felt like that's it. I did it. I took the exam. And tomorrow I'll get up bright and early and I'll just pack for me and stuff and go in the basement and put some more in to it. The movers are coming. Right. So I feel good about that.

I was walking through the yard, had this brand new tent that's put up with this beautiful new plaza and it was all lit up. It looked like a giant party going on at the beginning of the First Starts. And so I'm walking through and sure pleased and content with the test and a guy gets on stage and he goes, "Hello everybody." He goes, "I am not Matt Damon." He goes, "But he will be here in 10 minutes." [inaudible 07:34]. It's really nice weather and it's like 10:30 probably.

INTERVIEWER: Oh okay.

[07:43]

RESPONDENT: So I was sitting there. Someone's streaming Twitter. Sure enough 10 minutes later Matt Damon walks in the room. And introduces Good Will Hunting. And it's sort of a surprise. It's [inaudible 08:18]. I got little [inaudible 08:19] working on it making it a [inaudible 08:22] in the future.

Anyway, I'm not one of these star people [inaudible 08:38] taking pictures and stuff. He's a guy; he's accomplished something interesting. He's in the public eye. So I felt sort of pleased. I liked the [inaudible 08:48]. I sat there and thought, that's cool. The word surreal is [inaudible 09:01] way way way too much. But it was this very happy; there are these moments of things being sort of sublime. I think that's the right word. Right. Satisfactory. I accomplish things. Something sort of a magically just sort of you're in this really beautiful new thing. Lots of people are there and they're really happy and celebratory and then something just out of the blue; it's sort of like wow.

[09:27]

So then I walked to the car pretty happy. Trip home. And then next day, the [inaudible 09:37]. Now, living in boxes for a bit. And being on this sort of very productive mode of putting things away. Doing things to the house. And so every day I feel like I am doing a lot. I feel hyper productive. Interesting. Doing things to the house. Just getting stuff done.

And so today...today's project, I have a long drive and but it's a very narrow street. So you back out. There's no room to turn, especially when the guy across the street parks his car there, right. So then you have; you can't get the angle. You can't get the angle so you end up doing this. You back up and you turn a little bit. You move forward. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. It's very annoying. And you can't turn also because there are these stones that were built that go along the driveway but over time they've been pushed in. So they sort of jut out like these perilous horrible teeth, right, waiting to just ripple through your car. Right.

So and the guy across the street, American flag in the window, American flag in the car. I finally met him yesterday; American flag on the wrist watch. Made in America. But again, I always try to look on the positive side. I always try to see positive with people. There must be a reason he parks there in the most inconvenient possible place for me to get out of the driveway. Right. But my study is a perch, right. So I can see the goings on and everything. So he gets up early because I watch so this is the pattern. He gets up and mind, he has a double-wide garage. The car is not there; there's a car in the garage. He gets up, takes a walk, buys the Boston Herald, comes back, gets the car out of the garage and parks it in the most inconvenient place, right at the opposite end of my driveway.

[11:57]

So, and I think, okay, he's old. He's being doing this forever. Right. I'm telling my mom this, so she said, oh; she goes oh, that's horrible. But she goes you know what it is, some men are like this. They want the car right there so if they want to do something, they don't have to get it out of the garage. The car is right there. So it's a little step closer to getting things done during the day. And you know so I was describing this to her and she is like describing how ridiculous that is.

And before all this happened I thought, okay, he's clearly into American and somehow I knew that he's the guy in the neighborhood that's going to be the difficult one. So I thought, okay, we have a flag extension outside of our balcony. I'm patriotic, but I don't, my [inaudible 12:59] America. I don't think like I ever need to put a flag out, but I thought, maybe this will help if I put a flag up. Send the signal to this guy, I'm on your side buddy.

THERAPIST: We're all one.

[13:11]

CLIENT: We're all one. Exactly. And then he [inaudible 13:17]. [Laughter.] I said I think he's probably [inaudible 13:21]. [Laughter.]

Those jagged stones, these heavy ass marble, they call it pudding stones.

THERAPIST: They're called what?

CLIENT: Pudding stones. So putting stones is a you have seen them around. It's a rock that is formed from lava and it's a mixture of many little rocks put together. So it has this...it looks like a chocolate cake in a way that has...so pudding as in dessert. So it's sort of a mixture of rocks inside, [inaudible 14:02] in fact, but it itself is a rock.

THERAPIST: Okay.

CLIENT: So I don't know; certainly [inaudible 14:13]. So these massive things, right, and they're just so huge. And they're in the ground. So the past two days I've just been digging and digging and digging and prying and prying and prying. And so I've removed all but three of these things. They're massive. So they range from 50 150 pounds.

THERAPIST: Whoa.

[14:41]

CLIENT: They're huge. So you've got to pry them. You've got a lever and some of them, you know, I feel like an Egyptian right. It's like I set up this like series of cardboard, because I try to box the spirit, so I set up this like thing. It's so you just sort of like do this slide, roll, and slide, and roll and get them out of the way. But it's this really like one foot by one foot and the length of the driveway.

THERAPIST: Okay, okay.

CLIENT: So...but I love doing it because I'm outside, nice weather. I like it. And you meet lots of people. Everyone wants to come out. I'm getting a presocial sign, like in my notes, right on the phone, when I meet people I'm making notes. Why? Because it's hard to remember names. So I'm keeping this running list of people I've met. You know. So I'm trying to be a good neighbor.

And so I met Bill across the street. His son is running for Mayor. He's the Attorney General or something. He didn't say that to me but I was told by another neighbor that that's the case. It makes sense because he did show me the flag, the bumper sticker for I want to say for [inaudible 16:21].

[16:21]

THERAPIST: I want to say he's involved with the whole prisoner stuff. That's why I know his name.

CLIENT: Yeah, I need to look it up. In fact I have to because I want to be in any way that I can be complimentary whenever I'm late again and act like I'm not uninformed. That might be, in fact, I'm putting on an American flag to know about the son and let me be very complimentary. The father said something.

I packaged those. I put them up.

THERAPIST: Oh yeah.

CLIENT: Anyway, so that was the first part of the day. I started the day studying [inaudible 1:17:15] equations, and now it's making me crazy. And so I went out and just spent a few hours with stones which was really cathartic. It felt so good just to sweat legitimately as opposed to going to the gym where you lift and you go on the treadmill, blah, blah, blah, and you do whatever. There's nothing to show for it. You still have the [inaudible 17:44] and tackle this when you get home. [inaudible 17:51]. But here, it's like when you work hard you sweat and in fact, you see a big bunch of boulders that you moved. Very satisfying.

THERAPIST: So what were... tell me...I must have missed the, what were the; where were they? What was the...?

CLIENT: Oh, so I should just drop it. [inaudible 18:16] on this drug. [Silence]. Okay, so this is the house. This is the separate garage. This is the very long driveway. This is the nearest tree. And here is the father of whoever he is. His car. Right.

Now, this is my car. Here we go. So now, I'm being generous with the rounding of this. It's not round like that. It's much more severe. This is built up. This is like freaking high. This is a raised lawn.

THERAPIST: Oh okay.

CLIENT: And the lawn here are plants.

THERAPIST: Okay.

CLIENT: But here's the perilous part. Right here jagged rocks sticking out all the way right. So you can't cut the corner because if you do you will take out the front of your car. So what you do is back up and then you have the car that and you are in a trend.

THERAPIST: Are you serious?

CLIENT: I mean I have to get out. And so then I go forward, and then I inch back. Doot, doot, doot this way. And then it takes four little...all because of these stones. Well, what I've done in the past two days is I have removed all of these and creating a margin. And I've removed as much as I could over here. So now...

THERAPIST: Is that still your property?

CLIENT: Oh yeah. All of it is. So anyway. So now all of these giant rocks are pointing in or out. Each of which are massive.

[20:52]

Now, while I was doing this, he comes out of his house, Bill does...that says that. So he comes out and he sees. Several occasions where I've waved or been about to but he doesn't see or whatever, but I feel like he might; somehow I have the sense that maybe he's feeling for whatever reason not happy about new neighbors. It's change. Right. So I got all that. So I'm not wanting to be Mr. Social, like "Hey," dah dah dah. Blah, blah, blah. I don't want to do that because I thought he's in his own little world. He's aware of us being here. I want to be approachable, but I don't want to be Mr. Super Nice Guy.

Now he waves first. I'm going for the middle. I want to get off on the right foot in these situations. So over the course of three, four days, there have been opportunities. He comes out and he's always doing something or the other. I'm in the garage doing stuff. Like building a [inaudible 22:10]. So you know, opportunities to wave. So finally I'm out wearing my Boston Bruin shirt, jeans and I'm just sweating and I'm just shoveling and just getting dirt and rock. So he comes out to tend to his car and I make a point of waving, because now we're in proximity, right. So now we're actually within like 20 ft. of each other. So I walk over and take off my glove and say, "Hey, I'm Brian." Mike? I said, "No. Brian." He goes, "Oh, welcome. I'm Bill." So you know, 5'7", mid-70's, tucked in total shirt, jeans, running shoes. That's him.

[23:14]

And so we talk and it's clear as day what I'm doing. So I'm...I said, you know, I'm getting the stones out of here and make it easier to get out of the driveway never mentioning his car and I say, yeah, it's tough getting out of the driveway. Sometimes someone's parked there.

THERAPIST: Is Bill connecting the dots?

CLIENT: I'm hoping, right. As I'm talking to him I'm realizing for every person who's 105 IQ, there's a 95. I realize it's not age related. He's a 95.

THERAPIST: Okay.

CLIENT: So I'm realizing he's just; he's not...so I'm talking about this and that. I said yeah it makes it, you know, I mentioned something with one of the cars there...it's really difficult to get out and so forth. Not accusatory; just sort of I'm not saying it's his car, just a car. And hoping right, but I'm being proactive right. You know. It's okay to park there. I'm going to tend to my rocks and that's going to solve the problem. But if he's impressed by me, maybe he'll back up six feet which would solve the problem. That's all you got to do. Problem solved.

[24:31]

So he's...then we're talking. The surveyor comes and he's talking about you know when you're out and about people are like, you know, when you talk to Comcast and you talk to Verizon, then you talk to people who are surveying. You talk to everybody. People walking dogs. So surveyor comes; talk to him. Doing this and that and then Bill somehow comes around to the stones again. He looks at me and he goes, "He goes I don't want to make you feel bad, but Joan, now she had oxygen tanks. She had backed out of this with no problem." She was the lady I'm buying the house, right. Oxygen tank. Well what I wanted to throw back at him was like, you know, did she have like a mini? Of course she didn't. You know, so alright. So I thought point taken.

And then he added to it. Because he goes, "One time," he goes, "She was out and the police officer came by and she said is there anything we can do about those cars on the other side of the street? It's making it difficult getting out of the driveway." He said the cop looked at her and said, "Learn how to drive lady."

THERAPIST: Whoa. Whoa. Bill.

CLIENT: Yeah, nothing nice about those two. Been nothing but nice, right, because [inaudible 26:02] and honey as opposed to vinegar. And thought if I'd be nice enough for a while, maybe he'll change.

So this goes on. The car is always there. The car is always there. Except at night because he puts it in the garage. Eight o'clock at night, he just puts it in the garage.

THERAPIST: Let me just ask you this. Is there a, you know, is it like that's the only spot?

CLIENT: No. No.

THERAPIST: Where there's only...there's all these taken spots and you have...

CLIENT: No, no, no, no, no. Most of the street, no. So of the like four cars that...it could accommodate eight.

THERAPIST: Is that right? He does that deliberately right there.

CLIENT: It feels; what happens to be, in his mind, he might be thinking well it's directly in front of his house.

THERAPIST: Yeah, no. He does it deliberately from his point of view.

CLIENT: From my point of view, yeah, for his point of view. You know, it's the best possible thing to be right in front of the house. From my point of view it's the absolute worst place.

So today people like pull up; people like fancy black new Cadillac. Somehow I thought well maybe he's like retired State Senate guy because he seems to be like people stop and talk, right, to this guy. It's not people driving Toyota Corollas like he has, but people driving big fancy Cadillac's and big black SUVs. It seems like he's somehow connected in some way.

[27:39]

So I don't know who he is exactly, right, but he seems to be whatever. I don't know. So anyway. So then today I'm out there, you know, doing the big rock thing and previously from the study I saw that his wife got in to the car who I have not seen before. She really looks old. He does not. He's mid-70s but fit and active and always doing something.

So she gets in the car and then I am like not really in view but I'm like in the driveway like I'm doing something else after having moved some stones. I pulled my car in the garage. And they pull up to park in the regular spot. And I'm like here we go. And then I see him and her talking. And I don't know what they're saying. Clearly they could [inaudible 28:43]. But then he pulls around and disappears, and then they walk in to the house. Maybe they put the car in the garage; maybe they parked somewhere else. But somehow I think she conveyed to him, perhaps, don't park there.

THERAPIST: Interesting.

CLIENT: I thought maybe she's like peering through the window. It's like he's a good egg. He's working hard moving stones. He seems like a nice guy. People like him. He's saying hi to everybody. He's a good guy. Okay, Bill. You don't have to park here. Maybe. We'll see.

THERAPIST: This was when?

CLIENT: This was this morning. Must have been around 10.

THERAPIST: Is that right? Okay.

CLIENT: Which is that is when the car would have been there for a bit. Come back and somehow some conversation happened regarding where to park.

THERAPIST: Interesting.

CLIENT: So that's that. So I've been super productive inside the house, outside the house. It's really satisfying, right. It's in over drive. Truly great to do this. And yet I've got to get my head back in mathematics. So again, this morning. It's learning differential equations. Second order [inaudible 30:12]. Differential equations. I mean I'll figure it out, but right now it's nice out. I feel like moving stones. I don't really want to do that.

[30:25]

But last night I went to class. I was dog tired. I so did not want to go. But I happened to have this, I have to do this lecture, even though I already watched the lecture and I knew generally what was going to be discussed. I'm like I've got to hear this lecture. I've got to go. And get my mid-term score back. I got the highest grade in class.

THERAPIST: Congratulations.

CLIENT: Yeah, it feels good.

THERAPIST: Uh huh. Wow.

CLIENT: Yeah. Very pleased. Very pleased. So that puts a wind in my sails. Kind of nice. So not only did I get an A, I got the highest grade in class. It felt good.

So now, I got an A in class, let's keep the momentum and get my head back in the game and really like dive back in to this math brain.

THERAPIST: Well it's like that whole thing that almost like a dichotomy, you know. How to switch gears? How to, you know, you were talking about how moving and everything kind of put your head in one space and made it very difficult to get in to those others.

CLIENT: Yeah, the results were I did really...

THERAPIST: Yeah.

[31:55]

CLIENT: Which is fascinating that picking math, somehow I thought...I almost was thinking if we're going to do it, I might as well drop the course. I mean it was really; but I was thinking how I can be doing this. I can't do it. It's going to be a crazy month. How am I going to do that? I'm going to be so very distracted. Barbara was supportive. It's like compartmentalized and it's okay; you don't have to do everything. There are things you've got to do. And but then fuck it. So I was pleased to be able to compartmentalize and maybe the activities were complimentary in some way. I don't know. In some weird way.

THERAPIST: Yeah. Like it seems like they're all, yeah. I don't think there's a possibility for that word. Before you felt like boy these things are chaffing at each other.

CLIENT: Barbara and I have been really good and happy and like doing stuff and she's really like...I've done so much. Just like every day like it's like it's the math and stuff I do in the house. And I think she's certainly impressed because usually she's the one that's always screaming I'm doing too much stuff. She's like I'm trying not to waste...so she's real pleased with that. She goes okay, but you have to do this. We can live with boxes; just finish...just you get through the final exam. Not only that, afterwards, it's okay to live in boxes. We have clothes. We have towels to take a shower. It's okay.

For some reason I feel unsettled. I like... I have to have my little nest. I don't like things being out of order. I get distracted when...it's weird like Barbara's the cleaner. Clean, clean, clean, clean. But if she doesn't do it, does her thing, I want her to be that way. I feel like as a kid I was this absolute perfectionist. So that's sort of always there until it percolates where things have to be right. And so..anyway.

[34:34]

So things are going along really good, really well. And then yesterday. I don't know what it is. Maybe I think I was tired or something; I don't know what it was. I do not know. But I was standing there ready to go do something. I guess. But it's still too early for that. It's a warm afternoon. And I was washing dishes and I noticed this in e-mail because in e-mail everyone does it but since we've always had a dishwasher...we don't have a dishwasher now. So going from the condo which great kitchen, great bath, and everything is modern, modern, modern. Now we go in to like back in time.

THERAPIST: Oh is that what...

CLIENT: Bigger house, has a lot of potential. It's really just the ad like circa 1960's perfect. Right. But kitchen is smaller. There is no dishwasher. And so I feel like I'm living on a 20 ft. yacht. Like also I'm tall. So it's like I just feel claustrophobic. Like the hood for the oven, I'm reaching over the teapot. I'm afraid I'm going to burn myself because there's not enough room. I'll go crazy. I'm sure that was a normal size kitchen for that era, but of course now we're used to big kitchens with like center pieces and stools, open spaces and that's the norm. Well now it's like huh.

So now we have to wash dishes. Right. And I'm happy washing dishes. I like washing dishes. But I have the way I wash dishes. Right. Which is the correct way to wash dishes. Right. So you have to have hot water; just medium warm water. Soap, scrub, set them aside. Then you thoroughly rinse, again, in that time hot water. Or you can do it in cold water. It doesn't matter. It does not matter. But you've got to rinse. You rinse, you rinse, you rinse. Right.

[36:46]

So I'm watching Barbara wash while I'm having a snack after having moved much stones. And she's just washing so...putting them in the strainer without rinsing, which is what you do in England. That's what the English do. That's what the Scottish do. That's what the Irish do. You just...it's like I know it's bizarre to me, but they just don't rinse. So I'm just baffled and I'm thinking fuck me; that's what she did in England. But it's like when you're in England, that's good. Whatever. But now she's doing it here and like she's the one who's all about cleanliness and I'm like I don't give a damn about the floors, although I do care about the floors; I want the floors to be clean. I want them to look nice. But of all things that need to be clean in the world, the dishes have to be clean because that's actually going in to your mouth. Correct me if I'm wrong. Dishes have to be clean.

So I'm watching this and I say okay, she goes 0 100 with that. So I'm watching this and I just...I just cannot even believe this. I just can't; I'm thinking she's a nurse, she's a neat freak, what is it why she's not rinsing? So I said why don't you rinse the dishes? She goes well I am rinsing them. Now, it's a cursory is being generous, right. It's just bold right. Under the water, real quick like that. I mean, so that's like 30% rinsed. Right. The outside untouched.

Now granted, the outside, okay, fine. Let me...the actual inside of the thing needs to get really rinsed. But nothing. And she just goes blup...she goes I am rinsing. And it's like something where you know energy builds and hot water is expensive and water bill, blah, blah, blah, and you've got to be conservative and you know, use all this water to rinse. I'm like fuck. And I thought...and then I wanted to like go in to the whole idea of like soap itself is a [inaudible 39:40]. It doesn't sterilize it. It's not bleach. So all the soap really does is liberate the food from the plate and the key thing is after you've done the soapy scrub to liberate the food and all the particles from that, the important part, now that everything is free from that, is to rinse it off.

THERAPIST: Oh yeah.

[40:19]

CLIENT: Because the soap itself does not sterilize. It simply frees up the crap off of the dishes and you rinse it off. That's the...it's a paired activity. It's like...and then I thought I can't explain this to her. It's like it's not like we're soaking things in bleach for five hours. That's not what soap does.

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: It's just a hydrogen bond thing. That's all it is. You just heat it up. You've got to rinse it off.

So then I go online and I'm like there's got to be people who are equally ape shit about this. And there are. There's like this long list of things. Americans in England are like freaking out over this.

THERAPIST: Is that right?

CLIENT: No, the whole thing like contributed to like the Sperry fairy soap campaign talking about you need to rinse. A whole generation of people grew up with the idea you don't need to rinse. This whole malevolence, really evil ad campaign by this soap. And of course this soap; nobody just has this stuff. I wanted to like tell her that's the point of buying organic. The whole point of buying organic food, like what the line. You're probably eating soap. What's the point? Let's just go buy dirty horrible non-organic strawberries and just like lick them and get all those pesticides in our mouth. We might as well.

[41:48]

Anyway, but I didn't say all that. I was just seething inside and baffled. So from then on there was like tension because basically her idea was well, rinsing uses hot water and lots of energy. I mean really technically you don't have to rinse in hot water. You can rinse in cold water if you're concerned about hot water. And also there is strategy. You put the biggest thing in...you stack the things up. And then you're rinsing and everything underneath is getting rinsed. And so it's sort of this cascade effect. So actually it's pretty efficient to rinse. Everything is progressively...by the time you get to the last thing, it's essentially rinsed. You can do it without scalding hot water.

THERAPIST: Yeah, but it's one thing to be negotiating this with Bill. It's another one with Barbara.

CLIENT: Thank you. Now well done. Yes. To the outside world, it's okay to have an enemy or be baffled by someone's actions. Again, it's like oh my gosh; she's bringing this horrible, horrible I guess they're in Australia too with no rinse complete [inaudible 43:16]. If you put soap on in the shower and not rinse...

So anyway, I feel like that just...so now there's like tension. So I won't...I was happy. I did my stuff and I had boxes and I stacked things up and blah, blah, blah. Productive, productive, productive. And then I wiped down the basement door. I even wiped down the back door. And so Barbara comes down and she goes, "What are you up to?" And I said, "Well I studied for a bit and then I wiped down the basement door and the back door thoroughly." She was like, "What did you use?" And I said, "Well paper towels." Barbara said that [inaudible 44:02]. She looked at me and she goes, "Oh well, I was going to do that later. And we can use the towels for things like this." I said, "Barbara, had I known which towels to use I could have used them. I would not have had to have gone through 12 paper towels." And I thought that's the reception I get after cleaning. That's not good. Is she disappointed that I'm taking her job in her life? That she was looking forward to cleaning everything up and I didn't clean it well enough? That I was using paper towels.

[44:49]

So then following that, she actually says stupid stuff. She just asks dumb questions. I mean she goes, "It seems like there is more stuff in the basement," after I just cleaned. You mean I am in overdrive; organizing, organizing, organizing. I'm well aware of the basement structure. And I looked at her. She said, "What?" And I said nothing. She goes, "No what?" And I said, "There isn't anything more in the basement. I don't know how to respond to that. You're not happy that I cleaned the doors. I used the wrong cleaning, you know, I didn't use the correct towels. God help me, by the way, had I used the wrong towel and that stuff whatever, like hand towels." So paper towels, safe, safe choice.

Meanwhile, it's like all the stuff that I've done, she makes a comment about the basement not implying anything, she says. I'm well aware of the basement and it's a dumb thing to say because it's like there is nothing more. There is, I mean, boxes didn't come from...they didn't just need a space to generate. I mean things from the basement went to the basement. It's exactly the same. It's exactly the same.

Then I got a little bit to eat and then she was like, oh, you're going to [inaudible 46:24]. I [inaudible 46:31]. It's like she asks things just to talk some of this. And we need like...making a comment on the basement, I'm well aware of the basement situation which is not a big deal, [inaudible 46:49]. And then like, so I couldn't sleep. I got up at 3 in the morning and I said that I had a bowl of cereal. And then she asked me did I finish off the chili. Now it's like 9 in the morning. And I said no, I had the chili from last night when I came in and then I put the rest away. She goes why? She was like mad that I didn't understand what her question was. She goes well I know that. I know you fixed chili when you came home last night. So I looked at her and said when would I fix chili? Would I eat it for breakfast? Why are you asking about chili? It's 9 o'clock in the morning.

THERAPIST: Ah, I see. Okay, yeah.

[47:35]

CLIENT: And then she goes well [inaudible 47:37] overnight. I said are you seriously asking...are you really honestly asking me that if I got up at 3 in the morning and finished off like a cork of chili. Is that a normal...is that the person I am? Like I'm just going to just finish off a massive amount of chili at 3 in the morning when, by the way, I already said I ate a bowl of cereal? And who gives a fuck anyway? I mean who cares? Who cares whether I ate chili or not? I did eat the chili. Of course I ate the chili. Who does that? Who wakes up at 3 in the morning and polishes off like a giant massive amount of chili? It's like what? Just like shut up. That's what I wanted to tell her. Just like let me do my thing which is a hell of a lot.

THERAPIST: Oh I see.

CLIENT: Don't ask stupid questions about are there more boxes in the basement. No, of course not. And if I finished off the chili. No. And by the way, rinse the goddamn dishes. Because that's important [inaudible 48:40].

THERAPIST: I've got to stop. Yeah, something doesn't seem like it should be around that; around the rinsing thing, but it's like you're sort of just driving that kind of a harmony that was existing.

CLIENT: It was harmony. To them like after this whole thing, this contra pone or whatever, I was like okay, I've got to go and I've got to move some big rocks and burn off some energy. I thought I could sit here and stew and try to do math which I did for like 20 minutes. I just can't. I'm just so angry I can't sit here and study in different situations. I've got to go move some rocks.

THERAPIST: Move some rocks.

CLIENT: And now, I'm done. Get back to something.

THERAPIST: There's the complimentary quality of the practical; the doing something. Getting your body involved and then going back to math.

CLIENT: Alright.

THERAPIST: Alright. Well congratulations on the move though.

CLIENT: Yeah. Thanks.

THERAPIST: Nonetheless. Even still.

CLIENT: No it is good. It is good despite the past 36 hours of after moving.

THERAPIST: Alright, next week.

CLIENT: Okay, good. Nice seeing you.

THERAPIST: Good to see you.

END TRANSCRIPT