TRANSCRIPT OF AUDIO FILE:

BEGIN TRANSCRIPT:

CLIENT: Can I pay you for the rest of January?

THERAPIST: Sure.

CLIENT: I wrote down because it’s three sessions I haven’t paid you for, including today. Wait, four. Wait, no three because $66.57 is the amount that I’ve been calculating.

THERAPIST: Okay, that sounds like three. I think it’s $22.19 which is -

CLIENT: Each, yes because we met on last Friday, the Monday prior, and then this Friday, no the Friday prior and then this Friday, yes.

THERAPIST: Yes, I mean I’ll be doing billing this weekend and so I’ll look through it all -

CLIENT: And so you’ll see, yes.

THERAPIST: and verify that you’re right, which I’m sure you are. So $66 -

CLIENT: $66.57.

THERAPIST: $66.57, okay. And then you’re out Friday and Monday so after today we’ll meet a week from Friday?

CLIENT: Yes, the first Friday in February.

THERAPIST: Yes. [Pause] [inaudible at 00:01:34] send you a receipt? [00:01:36]

CLIENT: You may. That’s okay, thanks. So I’m really looking forward to my trip. I’ve just been trying to get through these three days at work, which are really busy. So on Friday night I happened to hang out with Stephanie which was very nice, fine, whatever. We were talking about Helen, bought some food, made some dinner and stuff; it was nice. And [00:02:16]

THERAPIST: When is your actual birthday?

CLIENT: Friday, the 31st, so yes. I think that I’m, well I’m I’ve been feeling more agitated the last couple of days than I have just in general and I don’t know it could be a little bit like PMS. And so the prescription says to take it, to take the 20 milligrams instead of the 10 milligrams five days prior to mensees (ph) but according to my birth control pack, I’m about a week away. But then every month I’m going to be oh, I’ll just start the [inaudible at 00:03:01] sooner. And if I’m doing that then I’ll just obviously talk to him next time, maybe I should just do, you know. [00:03:07]

But so because I’m less than five days, because supposedly I’ll get it Monday or Tuesday of next week, so I took 15 milligrams instead and that seemed to help today in terms of not feeling as emotional which does leave me to kind of believe that it is just my hormones kind of kicking in a little bit more, the week prior to having my period so fine. Maybe that’s the case but I’m just less agitated at work and I was agitated. Just the kind of the standard is to come in and read my e-mail and get infuriated at everybody because I’m just so sick of doing everything. But I closed my door for a while, slammed my door, and left it closed for a while.

I really got to reel in the whole temper tantrums at work but it’s just hard to do for me in general. And then I get really annoyed and I just want to close my office door. But I really need to I don’t know. Maybe this vacation will help a little bit. [I mean [inaudible at 00:04:10] the time off but when I said oh but I got back and if I would be refudinated and I didn’t] (ph). But maybe now I don’t know I think maybe I’m just feeling a little uncertain. I’ve been telling everybody how excited I am to be 30 and how I don’t feel any older and it’s so cool because I don’t feel 30 but I think actually now it’s starting to, I’m starting to have a little bit of I don’t know panic or something because I just don’t I’m not where I wanted to be when I was 30. [00:04:46]

And my living situation continues to irritate me. She texted me when I was at Stephanie’s (ph) on Friday night and asked if it was cool that her friend Frank slept on the couch since he’s a wreck. And I said yes, no problem, just please give him a sheet and a pillow from your room. We’re not 20, we don’t just do couch crashing anymore. I have nice throw pillows. So of course I come out on Saturday morning from my bedroom and his feet are shoved up against two of the couch cushions. And he’s sleeping on the throw pillows and he’s sleeping on the other one and he’s in his leather jacket and jeans on my couch. [00:05:28]

And I didn’t really I actively avoided Helen for the rest of the weekend. I just couldn’t I was busy; I was in and out of the house and and she had left pizza out all night and left pizza crusts on the table and just not okay for me. And so I just really didn’t want to talk to her. Then on Sunday, yesterday she spent the night at her parents’ and this morning I did a big cleaning of the house. I got up early and did the cleaning, my pre-vacation cleaning, which I usually always do because I figured she’s not home. At least I won’t have to feel annoyed at her laying there and saying oh, can I do anything, or if I just want to make noise or whatever, yell, that kind of stuff. [00:06:09]

Now I got a text message from her today. She’s still doesn’t have a job oh, and I wanted to maybe sit down and have the uncomfortable conversation of this isn’t working for me, this bothered me. It also bothered me that she washed her wash, because her idea of washing is rinsing, I think, because I pulled them out and they were still greasy. She washed the plates that she used before she left on Sunday and I had a couple of mugs in there and she couldn’t even just wash them. And it just really I’m sick of that. It’s just do you not notice that I do it for you Helen?

And I was going to have this uncomfortable conversation with her even though I really don’t want to because then if she doesn’t say sure I’ll try to move it’s just going to be uncomfortable because I can’t kick her out. I mean I can only tell her that I’m not enjoying this and she can say well it sucks for you. Even aside from the whole feeling kind of I was telling Stephanie (ph) in the car and I said oh it’s perfect that she’s asking this question because this is just what I was talking to Ethan about earlier, about feeling like I should tiptoe. And Stephanie (ph) said no don’t tiptoe around the message. Just be polite, don’t be passive-aggressive just be polite and direct. And I did and she said no problem and then just didn’t do it. [00:07:27]

THERAPIST: Wait, so I missed something because I was distracted thinking about something you had said. So, what was the message?

CLIENT: That yes, of course no problem for your friend to sleep over just please use a pillow -

THERAPIST: Yes, I remember that. Okay so that was the message.

CLIENT: and then she didn’t.

THERAPIST: Right, yes. No, I got that. Okay.

CLIENT: And I was talking to Stephanie (ph) about maybe I should phrase it differently or maybe I should explain why I want her to use -

THERAPIST: Oh, now I get it, yes, yes, yes.

CLIENT: And she said no, you shouldn’t have to explain to her why she want, you want somebody to sleep on the pillow.

THERAPIST: The one part of you that’s thinking that way and the other part of you that’s ready to throw her out the window.

CLIENT: Exactly. So, and then I realized okay she has an interview tomorrow so just in the sake, for the sake of being a decent person let me not approach her about this and hey you suck as a person; good luck at your interview tomorrow. It’s just whatever. [00:08:15]

Then she sent a message today and it kind of worked out that she did that because she sent a message today that said can Lucy sleep at our house tonight? Lucy meanwhile is the friend that came over that night. No she’s fine, she’ll be fine. Can I flick a bowl and put [inaudible at 00:08:27] asleep? And so I wrote back this is, and I was trying to be oh shit, wait, no I want to get my book; I want to read this to you. So and then after, I called my mom before I sent the message because I said I don’t know if this is not okay to say or whatever.

So I wrote, she wrote hey is it cool that Lucy stays at our place tonight? I said of course, no problem. But this time please make sure that she’s not sleeping on my throw pillows like Frank ended up doing last Friday. That was why I had asked you to please give him a pillow from your room. When she’s going to sleep, all you have to do is move the throw pillows. [Laughter] And then I said to my mom is this really condescending? She said no because clearly you didn’t explain it before and she didn’t do as you politely asked so clearly she needed it explained to her. [00:09:16]

I mean because it’s one thing that he ended up, if he ended up just sleeping on the pillow. But she didn’t even take the other ones off. They were in his feet and he had his feet on my pillows. And I said also I did a big housecleaning this morning so please try to keep things nice. And she said okay, thank you. Need any help? And I said later I’m taking down the tree. She said okay, thank you. Need any help with the tree? So she responds normally. I just don’t know is that because she knows that she’s mentally retarded and so she says well let me not play her on this because I know I’m dumb for having forgotten or maybe it really is oh that’s why she doesn’t want him sleeping on the throw pillows.

THERAPIST: Wait, I’m missing something. So you’re wondering about sort of why she responded in this kind of amiable way? [00:10:10]

CLIENT: I’m just wondering what’s going through her head. Yes, she wasn’t defensive, right, like well gee, sorry. And she didn’t not respond. I mean her response was normal but I guess my question is then why is she not normal? [00:10:30]

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: And I’m not thrilled about her friend sleeping over tonight either. I’m thinking dude I’m about to be gone for five days. You can’t just let me fucking have the you can’t I just everything about her I hate. [Pause] Why does Lucy have to sleep over tonight? Why doesn’t she just move in with Lucy? And I’m also going to have to talk to her about while I’m away and if I can count on her to scoop my cat litter or if I should plan on having my mom come over to make or if she would just prefer me to bring them to my mom? So I have to ask her that and I’m sure she’ll say no of course I’ll be here because she likes the cats but I’m just not convinced she’ll remember to scoop their litter. And they’ll be pooping on poop for a week. [00:11:36]

I just don’t think it’s normal well whatever. Her behavior, I just don’t think it’s normal. I think she’s acting like a 20-year-old boy. The whole crashing on the couch thing, we’re not dudes. We’re girls, this is my home. I don’t know. And she’s actually used that term before like hey can my friend crash on the couch? I said no. [00:12:31]

[Pause]

I don’t know. I mean I’m feeling excited about this trip. It’s just that I feel just so dissatisfied with work and my home life and my social life and the whole dating life that I’m just I don’t know having a hard time keeping things in perspective and not feeling like a loser and not feeling frustrated and I don’t know. Stephanie (ph) got into the whole I’m really sorry but I know you hate hearing this but I really just think you need to just live your life and not be looking for a relationship or dating. You just need to be doing your thing. I said okay, that’s easy for you to say buddy. I don’t know. [00:13:29]

And then she’s explaining how her friend Becka who’s she’s trying to think of her only other single friend and how her friend Becka is just so busy with work and is always working and doing stuff with work friends or she has a good networking group of people. But who knows because then she’s not dating and she ends up sleeping with random people and feeling shitty about it. So I said okay.

THERAPIST: So I mean I think it’s related because backing (ph) up to your roommate I guess part of it is that she also makes, she kind of makes you feel like an early 20-something by association, which in a way is kind of the last thing you want to be. So when she has somebody crash on the couch it doesn’t just reflect on her but also on you because it’s also your apartment. [00:14:51]

[Pause]

And kind of still the thing that isn’t so clear to me anyway is the sort of guilt that you feel or the inclination to kind of tiptoe around her or the more reasonable she gets, when she gets reasonable, sort of be more cunning. Well maybe I need to, I’m being a little ridiculous here to make my point, maybe I need to write her a little essay about why I don’t want her friend sleeping right on the couch in order to make sure that it’s really clear and you know what I mean? As if the onus is somehow set on you; it’s not on her anymore. To just do the straightforward thing you’re asking her to do is on you to [00:16:04]

CLIENT: Explain to her how to do this thing.

THERAPIST: Right, which -

CLIENT: And then in turn it makes me feel like well maybe it’s a ridiculous request or maybe it isn’t as straightforward or maybe it’s not normal or maybe I’m being really anal.

THERAPIST: Right. Right, and I guess that’s [pause] or I mean last time you were saying you kind of feel, or you felt guilty. I guess not in that particular instance but with things like that. I think you were mad at her.

CLIENT: Right. Well that’s more for I’m mad that you’re lumped on the couch depressed or whatever, just watch that I’m not, your idea of the good life is to lay around all day. But then I felt guilty because maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s just her depression. Maybe it’s the Fibromyalgia. Maybe I’m just being a jerk and to each his own. And yes, to a certain extent to each his own but it doesn’t mean I have to like living with it. [00:17:14]

THERAPIST: Right. But I guess that’s also, I’ll try to make it this way, there’s something also the way it comes out for you. It’s not like, you don’t really say oh my God, okay. It doesn’t come out in terms of how you feel. It usually comes out in terms of judgments of her. In other words it’s not like oh my God, it bugs the shit out of me when she’s lying around; I find it really depressing and it makes me feel like we live in Depressionville or it makes me feel like, it sort of drains my energy too. I mean which I think it’s, you’d probably say is part of it. [00:18:07]

It’s more like she’s ridiculous, she’s a lump, she doesn’t do anything you know what I mean? It all comes out in terms of choices for her that then you doubt, you know what I mean? And I guess part of what I’m confused about a little bit is I mean if you because in a way it seems like kind of simple or more straightforward if you were to be saying yes it depresses me when she’s a lump on the couch all day. It sucks my will to live when she’s, all she does is lay around the TV in part because if you say that then you’re right about it. I mean it’s not really about her per se but you read she’s ridiculous, she’s a lump, she’s this, she’s that, oh my God I feel guilty because maybe it’s her Fibromyalgia or her depression. You know what I mean?

There you’re kind of on shakier ground and you sort of go back and forth and get anxious about it. And in a way what you’re talking about is something about you but you don’t talk about it. I’m not trying to be critical or trying to say well you should be nice to her; I’m just, I’m trying to understand what leads you to be sort of focusing in this way on sort of judgments on her and then sort of guilt and questioning of yourself for those. Do you know what I mean? [00:19:40]

CLIENT: Yes. [Pause] I mean I know that when Franklin had problems it always turned into my problem instead of his problem. The problem wasn’t that he was talking to other women; it was that I was checking his phone you know what I mean? So when I would say I have a problem with you talking with other women, he would say well you wouldn’t have a problem with it if you weren’t checking my phone. And that’s almost like the opposite of what I’m doing here kind of. Right, I’m putting it all on her. Like I’m being him I guess in this scenario. [00:20:28]

THERAPIST: Yes.

CLIENT: Maybe that’s defensive, maybe it’s I don’t know because yes it’s my problem that I have a problem with that being how she wants to live her life. But even if that’s my issue it’s, I’m not causing it. I don’t know how to think about it because [00:21:02]

THERAPIST: Well maybe you, maybe you just don’t tend to feel all that much like real justification for the things that bother you. And so -

CLIENT: Yes. I mean don’t really; I don’t like it. I mean some of the things yes when it comes to dishes not being cleaned properly, people messing up my stuff that I purchased and that I own like the couch cushions, yes I can say something about that. I can say something about the dishes; I said something about the trash. But about some of these like she can have some complaints about living with me that she’s just not letting bother her as much or something. I don’t know because really if I decide to have this conversation, a conversation with her about it not really working and me not enjoying living with her, if she doesn’t say well I’m going to move out then we just have this big elephant in the room. And I’m kind of left being the bad guy, I feel like, who’s complained about a situation that maybe can’t change until the lease is over because neither of us can afford it or whatever. [00:22:32]

THERAPIST: Yes I think you really don’t tend to imagine the other person will be accommodating at all. In other words that at least that she might respond by saying oh I didn’t realize that was affecting you that way. Sometimes my body hurts or I’m depressed and it’s hard for me to get up. But I can see that that is a pain in the ass for you; I will try. In other words even who knows how much she’d actually change but that seems to me something quite different from well you’re fucked because I’m living here, I’m on the lease, and I don’t feel like doing anything or I think this is all your problem. [00:23:14]

CLIENT: No and I don’t think she would respond that way.

THERAPIST: No, I don’t think you I know you know she wouldn’t but I think that you anticipate that either she’s going to say all right I’m out of here and leave or I think you’ll feel that essentially that is what you will get actually. I know when you picture her that’s not the kind of thing she would say, but I think you don’t tend -

CLIENT: Yes, kind of okay, what am I supposed to do kind of thing is what I think.

THERAPIST: Yes, yes, that she’ll sort of feel attacked and take no real responsibility and make no change to accommodate reform. And I think there’s a part of that that has very much to do with what you expect from people. And sometimes, yes, I’m not saying it doesn’t happen that way but I guess yes, [inaudible at 00:24:03] your family I get often how you end up dealing with them and I have a sense that and sort of with Franklin (ph) also with some things, well with other things actually. In some ways he took care of you in a really nice way but then there were other things, I guess mostly when there was conflict, it seems that this was how he handled it. [00:24:23]

CLIENT: Right, exactly. And I mean but the other part of it though is I don’t want somebody to change their way of living or how they like to live for my sake because I mean in a roommate situation because I certainly I mean if she said well could you stop smoking weed in the living room I would say no, or whatever. So I feel torn about talking to her about, I mean at that point it makes me feel like it’s more of just a personality clash and lifestyle clash. But, I don’t know. [00:25:22]

THERAPIST: Well [pause]

CLIENT: I’m not her mother. I can’t be saying pick up your clothes. But at the same time it turns into an issue when she leaves her door open and my cats go in there and chew on something or she’s tracking dirt around the house because she never cleans her room and it’s just a pile of clothes everywhere. And so I have trouble I don’t know. [00:26:27]

[Pause]

THERAPIST: Okay, is that entirely true? If she said okay I want you to stop smoking weed in the living room, I get it that you would say no. But I could imagine other things where if you felt it was a reasonable request and it wasn’t bothering you too much -

CLIENT: Yes. But I don’t do too many things that are bothersome to roommates. That’s what I think I do my dishes plus others dishes, I clean up after myself, I keep the house clean, my room is certainly clean as hell, I try to be respectful when she’s in the living room watching TV and not put my music or TV too loud so it doesn’t compete, you know what I mean? [00:27:52]

Why isn’t she ashamed of how her room is? One of my friends came over, who was it? Did you ever see the movie Half Baked? It’s a stupid old movie with Dave Chappelle and a couple other comedians and it’s about these stoners and they go to whatever, get into some trouble, whatever. There’s this character in the movie called The Guy on the Couch and he’s just in their apartment all the time on the couch and he’s a raider, what the hell is his name? I think he’s the one that did oh whatever it doesn’t matter. He’s this comedian guy. [00:28:36]

And I forget who came over but somebody said all I can think of when I see your roommate is Guy on the Couch because she’s always laying on the couch under a blanket whenever anybody comes over. And I mean I said ha ha ha, but at the same time I’m, I don’t know, I don’t want my friends to feel uncomfortable. And it’s awkward. She’ll be laying on the couch to the point that I’m standing there with my friend and she says oh and then gets up so there’s more room to sit. [00:29:18]

But yes, if there was a reasonable thing that really bothered her I think you’re right, yes. Or maybe even if she did ask me not to smoke weed like she’s quitting or they’re [inaudible at 00:29:31] or whatever, even that I could probably say all right.

THERAPIST: Well in fact you’re saying that some things you already do like you make sure when she’s watching something your music isn’t too loud.

CLIENT: Right. And it just feels like she doesn’t do any of this stuff unless I tell her to. And I’m just sick of telling people to do stuff. I’m sick I spent the whole year telling Mariana what to do, I came out of this retarded relationship where I had to be the one to talk about everything and bring everything up and then break up with him and move him out and tell him to move out and I’m just sick of telling people stuff. [00:30:19]

But I mean reasonably what would be, what, I don’t even know what the right thing I could say to her is about the stuff that bothers me after the stuff I already told her that bothers me that she’s trying to fix. Like, this is how you wash a dish. I don’t know. Who leaves pizza out overnight? I don’t know.

[Pause]

I’m trying to count my blessings and stay positive. It’s just like the Celexa’s helping me but it’s not changing my life. I mean it’s just helping me not be as upset about it and kind of manage it a little better and take things in smaller bites which is really all very helpful. And it’s a lot. I feel like things are a lot different for me and better in terms of how I’m managing my life than they were the last whatever months. But at the same time I just still feel like I’m on this hamster wheel kind of. [00:32:21]

[Pause]

And I’m going on this trip with Amanda and Stephanie (ph) and so it seems that they’re making the deal out of my birthday and stuff and my mom I’ve been talking to her about it a lot and whatnot. I don’t know I just know if I were in a relationship it would be a thing. We’d be getting excited and whatever. And I don’t know neither my dad nor Julie have said anything to me like so anything in mind special for your birthday or oh can we give you some money for the trip so you’ll enjoy yourself, nothing like that. And that has been kind of sad for me. [00:33:35]

I planned this trip for myself which is very nice and I paid for the stuff myself and whatever but I think that it would just have been nice to have somebody else kind of and I know my mom’s really excited for me and stuff. I also know she doesn’t have any money to give me, which is fine because she’s been asking me where are you staying and where did you get a car, and when are you going and when do you land and all. You know, she’s excited for me as well but I feel very hurt by my father and Julie and [00:34:12]

[Pause]

I don’t know. And it pisses me off when Stephanie (ph) says things to me like why do you think having a boyfriend will fix your life. And I don’t think that. I think it would make it more enjoyable and I think that it would make it so that the things that I’m trying to fix like my job and my finances and my living situation that I’m struggling with seem a little less urgent or prevalent or obtrusive in terms of those difficult times. And I know she’s said yes it would be helpful if I had more friends. You know what she’s trying to say is that you need more friends. I said yes, I know I need more friends. And yes, for whatever reason I’m a little nervous about turning 30 and kind of just [00:35:31]

THERAPIST: Well I mean the problem you describe with your roommate, with Stephanie (ph) and with your dad are that in a way they’re kind of impossible to get through to. None of them are really able to have a sense of where you’re at or what they could do that would be helpful. I mean in a way they don’t really any of them seem to know what’s going on or what you want from them despite your sort of efforts with Stephanie (ph) are you able to make that clear or with your dad just assuming he’s got to do something about your turning 30. [00:36:28]

CLIENT: I don’t know. It feels like a big birthday and it just feels like I’m the only one that feels that or something. [Pause]

THERAPIST: Well maybe part of what you want is like for, and you’re probably right. I mean what would happen if you were in a relationship for somebody to make it very special, who would want to make it a special thing for you? I mean your mom who’s excited and eager and that’s fine her roll isn’t to make it nice for you. I mean it doesn’t sound like you resent her for that. [00:37:31]

CLIENT: No, I mean she did that my whole life.

THERAPIST: But it also seems like that’s kind of what you want.

CLIENT: Yes, for someone to and I know that Stephanie’s (ph) planning something for my birthday that maybe her and Amanda are or whatever but I don’t know I’m feeling the lack of a partner, a romantic partner.

THERAPIST: Yes, well I think it’s actually I think that is absolutely true but I think it seems like very specifically what you are feeling a lack of that your romantic partner would provide or somebody else could is somebody who really kind of was motivated to yes kind of make things nice for you [00:38:19]

CLIENT: Right, like as excited about it as I am. As excited for me as I might be or something.

THERAPIST: Yes, I guess, I think there are sort of pieces of those around your roommate where you’re doing things to make the living space nice for both of you and it doesn’t feel like she’s doing that. Even if she’s not going to buy you flowers the way a partner would, or Stephanie (ph) who could be like, instead of being kind of critical or -

CLIENT: Trying to find the solution.

THERAPIST: just saying yes it’s really hard to be alone or socially it’s lonely or I mean any other thing she could say. [00:39:15]

CLIENT: My birthday weekend, yes, but -

THERAPIST: It is kind of maddening, Stephanie (ph), that in a way it’s clear that she knows what it’s like but she never responds to you at least you never tell me about her responding to you in ways that actually make you feel any better about it; probably it’s worse.

CLIENT: It’s always worse.

THERAPIST: In other words it isn’t that she didn’t know you’re lonely, it’s that she always kind of finds ways to blame you for it. [00:39:42]

CLIENT: Right. You’re concentrating too much on it, [inaudible at 00:39:44] for you, you’re worrying too much about it.

THERAPIST: Rather than, yes it seems oddly enough typical.

CLIENT: Yes, like I wish it were easier for you without all the other shit.

THERAPIST: Right, yes, I wish it were easier for you.

CLIENT: And that’s what my mother does now. She says oh you really could use some luck, you could use something special happening, I’m praying for something like that to happen, you know? And that’s more helpful than anything anybody could say because it just shows care. [00:40:22]

THERAPIST: So -

CLIENT: I mean in any case I’m -

THERAPIST: I guess that’s part of my point is I don’t think that’s kind of, that’s the kind of thing in different ways that you’d want a boyfriend to be doing too.

CLIENT: Right but other things but yes exactly.

THERAPIST: Yes, absolutely.

CLIENT: And that what Aiden does for her. And they’re both going to be I mean Amanda not as much because her and I just don’t talk on the phone as much but I’m sure Stephanie (ph)’s going to be the whole fucking time on my birthday, even I probably couldn’t say hey for just my birthday could you not because she’ll get mad at me. You can’t ask that of me.

THERAPIST: Right, she’ll be texting every five minutes and saying you know it’s really not all about being in a relationship.

CLIENT: Exactly, like I don’t understand why you think it changes your life so much but let me tell him what we just did and send a picture of my toes in the pool. And it just feels also like it kind of sucks that I have to say to myself okay I have to try and not let that bother me. I don’t want to have to worry about anything bothering me on my birthday weekend trip. But I am. I’m worried about being jealous, I’m worried about being able to go out and talk to guys because they’re in relationships and shit. [00:41:46]

[Pause]

THERAPIST: Yes it would be nice if, much nicer if you could just look forward to it and be excited about it. I mean I can see why you can’t, I’m not trying to tell you that you’re sort of doing something wrong but I’m saying it’s too bad, it’s unfortunate. [00:42:26]

CLIENT: Yes and I, yes.

THERAPIST: I do understand you’re still somewhat excited about it but -

CLIENT: Yes, totally. I mean mainly because I just need to get the hell out of the cold and it’s been too long since I’ve had a vacation. I do wish I were more excited for the celebration portion. I mean I don’t know what it is yet but it’s just going to be the three of us, which is nice but I don’t know. [00:43:16]

THERAPIST: You were sort of hanging with a bunch of people?

CLIENT: What?

THERAPIST: You were still going to meet a bunch of people?

CLIENT: Kind of. Or I wish yes and I kind of feel like Stephanie (ph)’s doing it and that’s very nice because she’s my best friend but it’s kind of only so I don’t have to do it myself. It’s not the same kind of feeling that she put into planning her own big birthday. And a big surprise and this -

THERAPIST: I see. It doesn’t feel like much like she’s doing it just [inaudible at 00:43:53] -

CLIENT: She’s kind of said how about I handle the reservation for dinner?

THERAPIST: Yes, like more logistical than sort of enthusiastic or emotional. We should stop. I hope it’s really fun and I hope [inaudible at 00:44:13].

CLIENT: Thank you. I will see you after hopefully I’ll bring [inaudible at 00:44:19] back.

THERAPIST: Yes, please do.

CLIENT: [inaudible at 00:44:20].

THERAPIST: No problem. You too. [00:44:28]

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