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CLIENT: I should have just not gone to work today at all. Because, you know, I worked on Saturday and stuff on those stupid conferences. But yeah, when did I see you last?

THERAPIST: Wednesday? Yeah.

CLIENT: Yeah. So it was a long three days. Thursday, Friday and Saturday I had to be in at 7:00 each day. And then I was done at 1:00 on Saturday. Oh, my roommate lost her job again.

THERAPIST: I didn�t think she had any job, but I guess so.

CLIENT: It didn�t last very long. She apparently � This is what happened. She got � So, the reason her other job ended was because it was through a temp agency. And they extended � Her contract had ended with them, with the Timberline Company. But then they kept extending it �cause they had a need for more work or whatever. But then they just couldn�t extend it anymore. So that�s why that ended. [1:29] And then she was like, lying on the couch like, oh, the temp agency has my application. So I�m just going to lie here and eat Nutella instead of like, bagging groceries or something. And so then she gets this job with TJ Maxx, TJX or whatever. And she � it�s like a big title. And she�s like, oh, it�s going great. I�m still temp for the three month trial period. And they could hire, da, da, da. But it�s a permanent position.

And then she comes home Friday and says that she was let go, because � and, you know, because she�s a temp they can do that without like � I mean, repercussion. And she�s like yeah, and, you know, I don�t get it. I thought things were going well there. She�s been there for maybe a month. Maybe less. And she�s like yeah, me too. And actually, my boss was pissed about it. She said there was just nothing she could do about it. That the orders came from up high. And I was like, yeah. Sounds like she wasn�t pissed. It sounds like she just wanted � she was trying to avoid the blame. [2:45] And apparently, there�s some person that they really wanted for this job who�s highly available for it or something retarded and sketchy.

I was telling Stephanie this story. She�s like, aw, she sucks. Like, whatever. But cool. So now she�s not working for � again. That was annoying. And then she was like, having another date or something on Saturday night like, starting around 7:00. And I�m thinking, why don�t you go out and then come back up here. Why do you have to be here? �Cause I just worked like, 55 hours and just wanted to stay in my house, but then I felt like I had to leave. So I just went out, but hadn�t really wanted to. [3:43] I didn�t really have that much to do, and met up with random people because � and didn�t have that much fun. And, you know, �cause I just felt like I want to be in the house. (pause) And I�m really sick of my job. (pause) Every time I think it�s going to get better with Helen something happens that just � it still sucks. Every time that I�m well, maybe we could get along after we had that talk last week. [4:45] Okay, let�s be more honest and da, da, da, da, da. Then now again, she�s unemployed. So now it�s like, cool. (pause) [5:44]

THERAPIST: I get the impression that you didn�t especially want to be here today.

CLIENT: No, I did. Yes, I do.

THERAPIST: Oh, okay.

CLIENT: Well, I guess �cause I�m just feeling like I hate my life. (pause) And last night Sergio finally came over. I�ve been trying to get together with him all week. And I was actually trying to give this a chance a little bit. Maybe I should just try to be patient and give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he, whatever. But then we got to talking finally, even though obviously, I felt like it would ruin it. You know, like basically, he doesn�t want a relationship, so doesn�t want to lead me on. [6:49] So that�s why whatever.

THERAPIST: Wait � why do you mean that�s why, whatever?

CLIENT: That�s why we�re not a real relationship. That�s why he never � that�s why he doesn�t � isn�t really dating me. And if I were ready � �cause I have too many other things that I�m dealing with. And if I were ready for a relationship, obviously you�d be the person that I would want to be with. I was like, okay. This is stupid. If you wanted to be with me, you would just be with me. It doesn�t matter. (pause) [7:51]

THERAPIST: I see. So there are a bunch of things that suck. Like, Sergio and your job and your roommate.

CLIENT: Mm hmm. (Indicating yes) I mean, I feel like my life sucks. Like, it�s boring and sucks. [8:48] I�m like, jogging in place. (pause) [9:41] [10:38] [11:41] I have nothing to say either. (pause)

THERAPIST: Well, okay. So what happened with the appointment stuff here? I�m not actually trying to sound punitive about it. I just am trying to figure out what�s going on in that?

CLIENT: Okay, well, we have an event tonight at 6:00, so I had to cancel the 4:30. And then, I said, sure, 12:45 today, because then I was like, I don�t want to wait until Thursday and then see you twice in a row. [12:39] And then I got involved with talking to my assistant and forgot, and then said, well I can come at 4:30 instead, because I had already -

THERAPIST: �Cause now you more about -

CLIENT: �Cause I had just talked to her, and she said that she would stay and work the event, so that I could leave early, since I worked on Saturday and 55 hours last week and was tired and didn�t want to be there.

THERAPIST: Well, I�m glad in any case that you could leave early and don�t have to go to the event tonight. That�s a good thing.

CLIENT: Thanks. But that�s what happened with that.

THERAPIST: So you�re just feeling too annoyed and shitty to want to talk much about it still?

CLIENT: No, I just � What am I supposed to say? [13:27] That everything is annoying and shitty? It�s not that I�m too annoyed to talk, it�s that I -

THERAPIST: You don�t have to say beyond what you�ve already said about it.

CLIENT: Yeah. I feel like I hate what my life turned into. (pause) After Franklin left, and it�s stupid, because I hated what my life turned into with Franklin. So now I�m confused as to what was really worse. (pause) [14:30] [15:47] [16:41] [17:43]

THERAPIST: I�ve got the impression that maybe you�re too disappointed and so pissed off, and so ashamed I think, that you just feel shut down. Like you�re so full of all that stuff that it�s like you can�t really even think. [18:33]

CLIENT: �Cause all I can think about is how unhappy I am. (crying)

THERAPIST: I don�t know that I�ve seen you feel this dark before.

CLIENT: I don�t know that I�ve felt this stuff before. Except for maybe certain points of my relationship with Franklin, which of course, is ironic. [19:36] (pause) [20:30] I feel like I don�t know what to do anymore, so it doesn�t matter if I do anything. I don�t even care what I�m doing. Just sitting at home and not exercising, eating whatever I want. Drinking. Smoking pot. I don�t care. That�s how I feel right now. Like, I don�t really have anybody calling me to make plans or anything anyway.

THERAPIST: You�ve kind of given up. [21:40]

CLIENT: Mm hmm. (Indicating yes) I feel like even if I don�t � even if I get back into my exercises and I�m eating right and whatever like, it doesn�t make a difference. It doesn�t matter either way, whatever I do. [22:30] (pause) [23:24]

THERAPIST: We should stop for now.

CLIENT: Okay. I�ll see you on Friday.

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