TRANSCRIPT OF AUDIO FILE:

BEGIN TRANSCRIPT:

THERAPIST: Well. How are you?

CLIENT: [ ] (inaudible at 00:00:54) [00:01:02] First of all, thank you for the ten. I was able to get what I needed today. I didn’t have time days before because we were so busy.

THERAPIST: But you were able to get it?

CLIENT: Yeah. Just on the way today.

THERAPIST: Good.

CLIENT: Sorry I couldn’t get it immediately on the way back the last time. We were so busy.

THERAPIST: Sure. Yeah. So how are you doing?

CLIENT: I’m okay, I guess.

THERAPIST: Anything happening at home or is it the same?

CLIENT: Same old thing. Our Thanksgiving was so-so. It was like a D Thanksgiving.

THERAPIST: At the house?

CLIENT: Yes. We had a couple of guests. We had Sasha Lovgren (sp?), my sister’s old friend, over. We had Devon over.

THERAPIST: Oh, Devon was here.

CLIENT: Yeah.

THERAPIST: So Emily and Devon are sort of . . .

CLIENT: They’re not really back together, but they’re trying to deal with things.

THERAPIST: Okay. [00:02:04] How is Gordon.

CLIENT: He’s not good.

THERAPIST: But at least it didn’t become violent or crazy.

CLIENT: Thanksgiving he did become nuts on Thanksgiving.

THERAPIST: A little bit? What did he do.

CLIENT: I don’t know what he did, but he . . .

THERAPIST: Having a hard time staying in reality, I gather. It must be hard to watch.

CLIENT: Yes. (pause)

THERAPIST: Are you having a hard time?

CLIENT: Dealing with the whole family. My mom crossed the line yesterday, but right now they’re doing marriage counselling, though. [00:03:10]

THERAPIST: Where?

CLIENT: I don’t know. I don’t know if they’re doing the marriage counsel, but they’re going to something, I think.

THERAPIST: Good for them. Good for them. What do you mean by she crossed the line?

CLIENT: She like took pills or something and she got moody yesterday. I don’t know how else to explain it. (pause)

THERAPIST: So you haven’t had a chance to do any art, I guess.

CLIENT: I have had a chance. I was just low on some supplies.

THERAPIST: But you’ve still been doing your work?

CLIENT: Yeah.

THERAPIST: How is it going? [00:04:00]

CLIENT: It’s tough. I’m giving a rest on the abstract work and still a rest on the cathedral because they’re so hard. I’m working right now on a still life of green and red peppers. That’s going to be my last work before the Caseytmas vacation.

THERAPIST: How is your website doing?

CLIENT: It hasn’t been updated yet. I need to have enough.

THERAPIST: To bother updating?

CLIENT: Yes.

THERAPIST: Are you getting out at all or walking around at all?

CLIENT: We have no money to spend.

THERAPIST: What about the idea of a small trip? Did that ever get talked about? [00:04:59]

CLIENT: We’re still trying to propose it. We’ve got three choices. France, I think, is the one I agree most on. I don’t agree with the West. I’m just not used to it.

THERAPIST: And France would be like Paris, Leon, something like that?

CLIENT: Yeah. I’m just not a West type of person, driving there. I grew up on the East Coast. I know it’s only a trip.

THERAPIST: Where in the West were they thinking of going?

CLIENT: Montana. I grew up on the East Coast and the problem is they’ve got dangerous weather as you’d be going through. That’s why I’m most afraid. You know, the tornados?

THERAPIST: Sure.

CLIENT: Austin, that’s okay. I’ve been there once.

THERAPIST: When did you go there? [00:06:03]

CLIENT: When I was nine, almost ten.

THERAPIST: Did you have fun?

CLIENT: Yeah. It was a business trip of my father’s.

THERAPIST: Oh, okay. Anything you want to talk about?

CLIENT: (pause) Well, (pause) we just got . . . (pause) I’m thinking. Give me a minute. (pause) Emily just moved into her new apartment. She’s not very satisfied with it, but she’s trying to deal with it.

THERAPIST: Where is it?

CLIENT: It’s only two minutes away from the other one.

THERAPIST: You mean wherever she was? [00:07:02]

CLIENT: Yeah. It’s smaller, but it’s all she could afford.

THERAPIST: Without Devon?

CLIENT: Yeah, but she still has the same size bed she slept in with Devon. I know I shouldn’t be sharing this, but in case they get back together . . .

THERAPIST: Would she like to get back together with him?

CLIENT: She’s trying.

THERAPIST: Okay. So she’s the one that really wants it?

CLIENT: Yeah. Yeah. It’s the same two-person bed she has. A smaller apartment.

THERAPIST: Have you seen it?

CLIENT: Yeah. It’s not as good as the past apartment she had.

THERAPIST: So there’s no spare bedroom that anybody could go and spend the night or anything like that, it’s just a little studio place?

CLIENT: Yeah. No room, except for the couch she still has. It’s like the only place I could sleep on. [00:08:05]

THERAPIST: Now where is she working?

CLIENT: (pause) I’m forgetful. I forget.

THERAPIST: But it’s a company?

CLIENT: Yeah. Something.

THERAPIST: Did Brett come to Thanksgiving?

CLIENT: Yeah.

THERAPIST: Okay, good. (pause) Are you worried about your parents?

CLIENT: I’m worried about everyone. I’m looking after them when I’m off duty – most of the time when I’m off duty, most of the time when I’m not busy – not all the time, but most of the time. Whenever I’m on the computer I turn my head and look at them.

THERAPIST: Just to make sure they’re okay?

CLIENT: Yes.

THERAPIST: What’s your sense?

CLIENT: I’m not on the computer all day, but I would watch TV with them. [00:09:03] My sense is them getting hurt and them getting sick which, hopefully, won’t happen; I hope won’t happen. You know how afraid Gordon is? He still has this fear about Bruce and he’s saying it’s true that Bruce is a murderer his father, Billy, is a murderer, too – not as much as Bruce. I’m sorry to put you down in the dumps, but this is true. It’s like it will never end. (agitated) What the fuck? Sorry to use that word, but it’s like I don’t know what put us in bad luck. [00:09:56]

THERAPIST: It does feel a little bit like bad luck.

CLIENT: I must have done something a few years ago that put us in bad luck. I can’t tell you probably what I did.

THERAPIST: I don’t think so. I think what we talked about is that your dad misplayed some financial things . . .

CLIENT: Well I did something like four years ago that was such bad luck.

THERAPIST: What was that?

CLIENT: It’s really bad that you don’t want to know.

THERAPIST: You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to tell me.

CLIENT: I know.

THERAPIST: But I just don’t think that luck is . . . Your brother has a problem as a mental illness and that’s not about luck. That is, unfortunately, just about his brain chemistry.

CLIENT: Yeah. (pause)

THERAPIST: Morgan, I would just be careful about thinking that you could have caused all this. It seems very unlikely that you could have literally caused this. [00:11:01]

CLIENT: I feel like I’ve caused all of our debt by taking my father’s side like, “Let’s move the fuck out of Ohio and go to North Carolina, waste all the money we want and . . .”

THERAPIST: Nothing was going to stop your dad.

CLIENT: (agitated) I feel like I’m to blame. Sorry I’m faking a tantrum.

THERAPIST: No, it’s okay.

CLIENT: And my mom sometimes blames me that I’m taking my father’s side and I’m the fucking bad guy.

THERAPIST: You shouldn’t have to be in the middle.

CLIENT: It’s like whenever she’s a broken record, she’ll (breathing heavily) think I’m the fucking bad guy and we lost money so quickly. I know I shouldn’t be sharing our finances, but you’ve probably heard of them. [00:11:59]

THERAPIST: No, I know. I know you lost a lot of money very quickly.

CLIENT: (breathing heavily) Yeah. The house wouldn’t make a penny.

THERAPIST: Some bad decisions were made but I certainly don’t know that you’re the one to blame. You’re still the adult child; you’re not the parent.

CLIENT: Gordon thinks he’s a parent. Lucky he cares about me and the rest of the family. The only good thing is he cares about me. (agitated) Current ways he sticks up for me is because my parents are now losing their energy over the finances and he has to take over dealing with it and buying the fucking food. (breathing heavily) I have to deal with cleaning up, doing the kitchen and house chores. (breathing heavily) [00:13:05]

THERAPIST: Are you the main worker?

CLIENT: No, I’m not.

THERAPIST: Your mom still does the majority of it?

CLIENT: Some of it.

THERAPIST: Your dad does some?

CLIENT: I do my whole room. I do my laundry and the bathroom is fucking hard because that . . .that’s what you don’t want to hear. (pause) On a scale from one to ten, I’m doing the dishwasher. I do it like an eight. (breathing heavily) It’s like my early adulthood was ruined. I feel I missed my 20’s.

THERAPIST: How old are you now, Morgan?

CLIENT: Old. This has been a bad start of a new decade. (crying) [00:14:00] I miss being younger.

THERAPIST: It feels a little bit like you were ripped off?

CLIENT: I was ripped off. (crying) Totally. My 20’s were spoiled. (pause) The only good ways I was spoiled with them was by buying what I wanted, but not like what I wanted bigger. I know these are fake tantrums I’m pulling, but I’m trying to get it out of my system.

THERAPIST: No, I understand that, Morgan. (pause) I know how upsetting it is. [00:14:58]

CLIENT: Oh, like my siblings are so special. They . . . (pause) (breathing heavily) And I have to be considered the bad guy.

THERAPIST: By whom?

CLIENT: I don’t know, my parents. I guess they secretly try to sabotage me just because I’m disabled. I have Asperger’s, not autism. I don’t know if you’ve heard that they’re researching that Asperger’s is different, if you don’t believe me.

THERAPIST: Yeah, it is different.

CLIENT: Some sources are saying that Asperger’s is not a form of autism.

THERAPIST: Really?

CLIENT: And that’s strange.

THERAPIST: Well I know that the new DSM-5 doesn’t have Asperger’s anymore. It just has levels of autism.

CLIENT: I don’t get that they say that Asperger’s is not on the autism spectrum disorder currently. [00:16:06]

THERAPIST: They dropped the word. In other words, the new diagnosis is all autism spectrum disorder with three levels. They dropped the word Asperger’s. They didn’t keep it. So although people still describe it, we know what it describes is someone who has social issues.

CLIENT: Asperger’s is exactly what I have.

THERAPIST: I know. Right. You’re smart, you have good intellect, you have some social problems, and you have some rigid repetitive interests.

CLIENT: What’s ruined my life mostly is I can’t drive because of my seizure disorder.

THERAPIST: I know. It’s hard you have that one on top.

CLIENT: You know how expensive cars are today, especially in America.

THERAPIST: Do you use the metro at all? Do you use the busses or the trains at all? [00:17:03]

CLIENT: You know how the fares are for those. (pause) The fares are highly expensive and I know how much my family would be worried about me.

THERAPIST: If you had it, would you go anywhere or is there nowhere that you’d really be interested in going?

CLIENT: I tell them where I need and want to go, the bus, train, wherever. I need my parents’ permission, otherwise they . . .

THERAPIST: Would they be nervous if you went out on your own?

CLIENT: Nervous. It would be my first time. I should have done it a long time ago.

THERAPIST: Well, I wonder if we could find a way to have you hook up with someone . . .

CLIENT: Gordon is going to . . . Hook up?

THERAPIST: Would Brett take you out on the metro, like teach you how to do the busses? [00:18:02]

CLIENT: He might have done that, I think. Gordon would be even more freaked out than my parents because he was blown up like a storm today.

THERAPIST: Was he? About what? Same stuff?

CLIENT: Same old thing. It never ends.

THERAPIST: Yeah. (pause)

CLIENT: My worst fear before I die is ending up on the street.

THERAPIST: I don’t think that will happen. Maybe at some point it might be worth finding you a place to live on your own or with a group of a couple of other guys, but you enjoy living with your parents now or not really?

CLIENT: It’s okay.

THERAPIST: Would you rather live in another type of house or do you like being in your house? [00:19:02]

CLIENT: (pause) Right now where I live is comfortable because we’ve got all our stuff we need. Our financial comfort, that’s our one problem and our second problem is having to deal with Gordon and his paranoia situation. He had to quit his job because of that third of all. He says he’s not going to get a job until it’s over. I know he’s going too far. (pause)

THERAPIST: What do you mean too far?

CLIENT: My parents are going to freak out since I told you every fucking word about him.

THERAPIST: They don’t need to know what we talk about. I don’t need to talk to them about what you’ve talked about. [00:20:04] This is for you.

CLIENT: I’m just scared (breathing heavily) that things aren’t going to get better.

THERAPIST: I know, Morgan. I’m scared for you. I wish I had a good answer here, I really do. (pause)

CLIENT: And when my 30’s are over, that’s when I’m going to be really scared.

THERAPIST: I know, but you have a decade. You have ten years.

CLIENT: Less than exactly ten.

THERAPIST: More than nine, though.

CLIENT: Yeah. (pause)

THERAPIST: But your work is going well. It would be nice if you had more social contacts.

CLIENT: Yeah, because when you’re 40 you can’t do most of what you want.

THERAPIST: Right. I wonder whether we should be asking your folks to help you get out more, to do more things, to be hooked up with agencies that might help you get involved. [00:21:14] (pause)

CLIENT: Right now I’m happy having a studio. (pause) It was nice talking to you otherwise.

THERAPIST: It’s nice to talk to you.

CLIENT: You can send them in.

THERAPIST: Okay.

CLIENT: Thanks.

THERAPIST: Thank you, Morgan. (pause) [00:22:02] How are you?

MOTHER: I’m better than I was.

MOTHER: Maybe you should turn that up a little bit, because I might be [ ] (inaudible at 00:22:08).

FATHER: Sit next to Dora just because you’ve set that tone. How bad was that? Was he really upset about Gordon mostly?

THERAPIST: Yeah, but he brought up a thing that he hasn’t brought up before and something made me think, “Ooh. You’re right.” He said, “You know, I’m 30. I’m a little worried that if I don’t learn a little bit more about how to take a bus or do anything . . .” He sounded just a little worried about “will I ever learn this stuff?” He doesn’t want to leave your house. He’s not talking about that or anything.

FATHER: No, I know. But he wants to be more independent.

THERAPIST: Yeah. But he is saying, “I know Gordon would freak out about it if I took the metro.” When he said it I thought to myself, “Ooh. He’s right.”

FATHER: He said metro? [00:23:00]

THERAPIST: I said metro, but he said the bus.

FATHER: We try to get him out more. We don’t have a lot of money and he doesn’t, so that’s the tough call.

THERAPIST: I know. But I wonder with the handicapped Social Security thing if we might get him pre-metro. He might be able to get a pass.

MOTHER: I can call his caseworker.

THERAPIST: Right. It might be worth just asking, as long as his . . .

MOTHER: They’ve offered him all kinds of – like do you need somebody to come to the house and bathe him? I’m like no, he’s fully functional.

THERAPIST: But would it be worth having somebody that occasionally comes and they just go out. Like you just said, he’s very high-functioning but that it wouldn’t be . . .

FATHER: Do you have a piece of paper you could just – anything, Walter. Nothing valuable. All right. So metro. [00:24:01]

THERAPIST: If there is a caseworker, maybe just take him out to a coffee shop (chuckles), just to socialize.

MOTHER: Well do you know what else? Remember we had that chat last time about letting him to go Burger King and have a coffee? Because we have a Burger King like three blocks away and Casey will drop him off and he’ll have a latte.

FATHER: He’ll hang out for an hour or call me when he’s ready. So we do do that. When we have money he does go to . . .

MOTHER: He calls it a “me night” and goes to Friday’s.

FATHER: Friday’s and has a drink even.

THERAPIST: But do we have any thoughts about, when the time comes that he’s really got to be solo, is he going to go with the siblings? Has anyone talked about this?

FATHER: I’ve always thought that somehow Emily would have to be the one to take care of him.

THERAPIST: Do you guys do a special needs trust? Did you do that? The problem is you’ve got to make sure that the money doesn’t go to him. It’s got to go to a trust, otherwise he loses Social Security. That’s the problem. [00:25:09]

MOTHER: Right.

FATHER: Right. So the trust fund should be in the third-party’s name?

THERAPIST: Yeah. It’s called a special needs trust and there would be someone else, like Emily would be the trustee and then probably Brett would be the second trustee – whatever. There are usually two trustees, but it makes sure that Morgan would never get an inheritance, that the inheritance that he would get would go to the trust so it doesn’t play with his Social Security. (pause)

MOTHER: I don’t know how he would get an inheritance. We’ve got nothing to leave.

THERAPIST: I know, but . . . (pause)

MOTHER: Well we went to that thing.

THERAPIST: Yeah, and?

MOTHER: We went on the wrong night. (chuckles) [00:25:56]

FATHER: But thankfully there was a sainted – what were they – eighty years old? Eighty-year-old people with a son who is 47, older than Gordon, who is musical, can’t seem to get his shit together, excuse my French, but is not violent towards them. We commiserated with them. Thank God they were there. They were like angels. There was no one else there. We were there on the wrong night so we’ve got to go next Monday. We talked to them. They were sweet. They were just like angels. Thank God there was somebody there for us. They pretty much agreed that we should call the police if anything is up. But like today, to just give you an idea of what we’re living with, today – first of all, I was out visiting Emily last night. [00:27:02] He was panicked all night that I was taken away by the conspiracy. The conspiracy continues. The apparent delusion continues.

THERAPIST: And the fact that you come back safe never comforts him?

FATHER: No. No. He terrorizes her; it’s gotten to the point where we’re making our bedroom a second living space. Thankfully it’s big enough, but he just can’t let it go, Walter. He just can’t let it go.

MOTHER: He keeps saying, “When the divorce goes through, then they can arrest Bruce and his father, Billy.” Now what does that have to do with anything? I’m of a mind to call the detectives myself and ask if there is really a case.

FATHER: But he’ll go crazy if he finds out.

MOTHER: He keeps saying. “I have to hide out. I have to lay low. I can’t work. I can’t talk to anybody.” [00:28:05]

FATHER: I tell him, “Can’t you dust off your resume and update it, just for the future when this is over?” “Oh, I can’t think about that.” Then, talk about delusion on top of delusion, he thinks that this will be such a big thing that this case he cracked, that he’s going to be offered a book deal.

MOTHER: And a parade.

FATHER: Come one. Even if there was a scintilla of a chance of that, Walter, do you not just be a normal person and have a life and a job? “Oh, a desk job I don’t want a . . .” My God. What do you want to do?

THERAPIST: Have you and Dora thought about, as you were saying, if you contacted the police, are you saying for yourself that you want to know?

MOTHER: I want to know if there really is a case and if they’re working on it because I don’t believe anything he tells me. Every day it’s something new.

FATHER: I wonder if this is too much to ask, probably, but what if you called privately and just say you’re working with some people who have health issues and this came up and you wondered if there was any veracity to this. [00:29:09]

THERAPIST: It would be Flourtown?

MOTHER: It would be Orange County Detectives Department, I guess.

THERAPIST: I can ask. I don’t know if they’ll tell me, but I can ask.

FATHER: Wouldn’t it be interesting if you said, “Hey, Casey, yeah; there is something. You better be quiet. He is a . . .” I have a feeling they’ll say nothing.

THERAPIST: They may not be able to tell me anything, but I can at least ask the question about Bruce.

FATHER: Bruce. What’s the other guy’s name? Brother Charlie?

MOTHER: Yeah, and then Billy is the father who is horribly abusive. He threw the mother out on the street ten years ago with only the clothes on her back; and the boys stayed with the father because he had all the money. They don’t even see their mother.

FATHER: What is the mother’s name?

MOTHER: Elaine.

FATHER: Elaine Jeffries?

MOTHER: I guess so, because the divorce isn’t final yet. [00:30:03]

FATHER: Is there any other name? Who is the deceased woman?

MOTHER: Penelope French is the girl that he thinks Bruce murdered.

FATHER: How do you spell that? F-R-E-N-C-H?

MOTHER: Yes. She went to school with Emily. She was at her 15th birthday party. (pause) The whole thing sounds so convoluted.

FATHER: I’m going to just give this to you. Here.

MOTHER: And it’s driving Morgan crazy. The poor kid cries every day. He can’t stand it.

FATHER: Walter, we just want to drive away with him.

MOTHER: Look at this. I’m a nervous wreck.

FATHER: And I should tell you we have to come clean. Here I am with Morgan in the store. Dora dropped us both off.

MOTHER: The day before Thanksgiving.

FATHER: We come out in the pouring rain with the last few things we needed, cobbling together what little money we have for whatever. There we are and Dora is nowhere to be found. To this day, I don’t know where she was and what she was doing, Walter. [00:31:04]

MOTHER: I told you.

FATHER: Just let me finish and then you can tell your story. So here’s Morgan and I, freezing rain, holding umbrellas, have packages. Dora, where are you? Where did you go? To me, she kicked me out so she could do something. This has been an issue because you never know. She could go off and buy liquor or drink in a bar. It’s been this way for the holiday thing. It’s pretty much like I have to worry about Dora’s medicine, did she get it? If she didn’t get her Synthroid is she going to go off the wagon? Is she drinking excessively.

MOTHER: Off the wagon? Do you mean if you stop taking Synthroid you’re going to go ballistic?

FATHER: Or you’re going to go mad. There is a really intense, if you look at it – yeah, you get really irritable, anxiety and . . . So it enhances anything else going on.

THERAPIST: What do you take that for? Is that your arthritis?

MOTHER: Thyroid.

THERAPIST: Oh, thyroid.

FATHER: So you can see that has a play in the chemical whatever. So anyway, Morgan and I are standing in the rain. We’re waiting for an hour or more. [00:32:05]

MOTHER: No, it wasn’t an hour. It was 20 minutes.

FATHER: Okay, then she says, “Oh, I’m around the side.” I go around and it’s like, Walter, I love this woman, but what is she doing to me? When I trust her to leave with the car and she’s going to leave poor Morgan and I stranded in the rain. I still don’t know what happened. She claims everything from, “Oh, I just wanted to walk into traffic and kill myself, but I changed my mind.” Do you want to say anything else about that?

MOTHER: That’s about the size of it.

THERAPIST: Are you feeling suicidal active?

MOTHER: I was that day. It was like we had been starving for three days because we had no money. The money was coming in the day before Thanksgiving. It came in, we ran out, I wasn’t feeling well, I felt really anxious, and I was out of my panic medicine. Then we go by Emily’s office and she wants us to invite Devon to dinner and you know what’s going on with that crap. [00:33:12]

THERAPIST: Yeah, I heard. So she wants him back?

MOTHER: Oh, my God, yes.

FATHER: She’s not sure, I don’t think and he helps her move into this new apartment, which is smaller and that is nice, but she’s doing well in her job. She interviewed at an ad agency by the computer, so she thinks she’s going to get that job for more money. Go ahead.

MOTHER: I was already upset from storming for three days. We were down to drinking water. That’s what we were living on. And then the money came in and we went and bought groceries and things for Thanksgiving.

THERAPIST: Are you eligible for food stamps?

MOTHER: Morgan gets them. They cut them because of the sequester, but they don’t come in until the 11th. [00:34:03]

FATHER: And just as a side note, I finally navigated the health care thing, so we think, we’re prayerful that we’re going to get health care from this network thing, but it’s always you’re waiting for something to happen. Sorry, Dora. Go ahead.

MOTHER: So we go see Emily and she wants to have Devon and that just sent me into a panic, shaking all over, crying.

THERAPIST: Why would that panic you?

MOTHER: Because I don’t want to see that kid. He broke her heart and that made me nervous. Then he parks in the parking lot at the store and he parked in such a way that it was a little askew, so this woman who parks next to us comes out to try and get in her car and our car is too close to her car, so she starts yelling at me about the bad parking job. I’m like, “Well I’m sorry. I didn’t park the car, but I’ll be happy to move it.” So I get out, I go around, I get in the car, I back out . . . [00:35:08]

FATHER: Which she shouldn’t have done. She should have just let the woman squeeze in her car.

MOTHER: Oh, she was livid, though, this woman; and that set me off again.

THERAPIST: Right. It’s hard to be yelled at.

MOTHER: Really. I was already a nervous wreck for ten other reasons.

FATHER: But also, too, I don’t know if she is making this up, quite frankly, Walter, because right before . . .

MOTHER: I told him I was really nervous that day.

FATHER: What did you say right before I went in there? “Casey, take Morgan away because I have to call somebody to talk about something.”

MOTHER: I ran out of my Klonopin.

FATHER: But it was more or less as I viewed it, a ruse. I’m always being played kind of, Walter. It’s like, “Go downstairs and get me this,” so she can pour wine in the room. I shouldn’t feel this way, but I feel this way. It’s like I’m just a stooge.

THERAPIST: I don’t know what the two of you are going to do about this. I mean without trust. [00:35:59]

MOTHER: So anyway, to make a long story short, I go around and the traffic in that parking lot is miserable so it takes me like ten minutes just to get around the parking lot so I can park on the side so when they came out they would be under an awning and they wouldn’t have to walk in the rain because we were parked really far. Once this woman quits her tirade on me, I parked the car and I’m thinking to myself, “There is no point in my living any more. I’m going to go step in front of a bus.”

THERAPIST: But we should talk about that.

MOTHER: And then I chickened out. I couldn’t do it.

THERAPIST: You’re not going to do it?

MOTHER: No. I’m a chicken.

THERAPIST: You know what would be the effect on the kids, right?

MOTHER: I know. I know.

FATHER: Even if she hated me so much, it’s like Morgan in the rain? What?

MOTHER: I wasn’t thinking. I just wasn’t thinking. It was a horrible thing to do.

THERAPIST: He doesn’t know you thought it?

MOTHER: No. And he can’t know.

THERAPIST: No, I know.

MOTHER: And none of the kids can know. [00:37:01]

THERAPIST: No, of course not.

FATHER: So it’s a snake pit, Walter. It’s like her, she can’t cope, it’s medicine, it’s everything, it’s Gordon in the basement violent. When is this going to happen? When is he going to be arrested? And we’re always under constant fear and you’ve got to watch what you say to him or else he flies off the handle and is violent. We’re introduced now to these people and I was up front. I said that’s who we’re seeing. We’re seeing these people. I’m sorry, but you know. I thought it was a good thing for him to know that people are aware of us, in case he tries to freaking beat us up, excuse my French. It’s like hey, people are aware of this situation. I don’t know what else to do, Walter, because I can’t fend him off. I wouldn’t be able to fend him off on a good day.

THERAPIST: Would you all do the police at this point if it became violent?

MOTHER: He would never forgive us. Never. He would never forgive us. [00:38:00]

FATHER: Also, too, between you and I, if I have a speck of weed in the house, he’s going to say, “Oh, my father smokes. Go upstairs. There’s a roach in his ashtray.” Do you know what I mean? Pathetic, but Walter, I’m not going to let that come between my freaking health and well-being of Dora. If it’s like we’re going to be killed and I have a threat of that, I don’t care.

THERAPIST: Could you have it more hidden?

FATHER: It’s totally hidden. It’s totally hidden. I’m from the ‘60’s. I’m very shy (chuckles) about that stuff. Are we being recorded? Hello! Hello! I used to drive around in the ‘60’s with my best friend, who I’m still friends with, and we’re writing this play. There would be a police officer following us and I’d be swallowing whatever. I’m an old hat at this. (chuckles) I just want to be mellow and I want her to be mellow. [00:39:04] I try to induce that with her and sometimes she’s very accepting and we watch a soap together and we have a lot of fun and we enjoy our lives. But then he comes up, menacing, looking out the window, and it’s like, “I guess we had better go upstairs now and retreat.

MOTHER: He just makes me a nervous wreck. He walks into the room and I start shaking like Jell-O.

FATHER: He makes bacon every day and reeks the house up with that. If we buy turkey bacon he complains.

MOTHER: He has a fit.

FATHER: This is what we’re dealing with. It’s just like grow the F up; get a life.

MOTHER: He’ll kill you.

FATHER: You can’t tell him that, I know. But when though, Walter?

THERAPIST: I don’t know, Casey. That’s the problem.

FATHER: I know you said sometimes it could be just – (snaps fingers) boom you wake up and he’ll wake up and he suddenly gets it.

THERAPIST: Right.

FATHER: But if it doesn’t happen, what are we going to do? Okay, we’re going to go to these things and thank God for you. Thank God for you, Walter. [00:40:03] We’re going to try to give him cigarettes and whatever when he needs it, but is this it? Is this all there is? Is there going to be an end game where somehow something blocks him?

THERAPIST: You are going to buy that place?

MOTHER: We’re going to try.

FATHER: We’re trying. That’s the big deal. That’s another thing that’s hanging over our heads. We need to see a banker to try to do that.

THERAPIST: How would you get the money? Would you do a loan?

MOTHER: I don’t know if anybody would give us a loan.

FATHER: I don’t know. I’m not sure. I’m hoping that the economy is such and there are incentives out there that they’ll see that I have an income that’s small from my pension and Morgan’s income. I’m hoping I don’t have to include Gordon in it because he’ll lord it over us and act like he’s the owner.

THERAPIST: He doesn’t have any money, does he?

FATHER: Not really, no. He doesn’t even have a job.

MOTHER: And he won’t get one.

FATHER: This is also just a scapegoat not to get a job. “Oh, I don’t want to be behind a desk.” [00:41:02] Okay. What do you think? People are just going to pay you to hang out and go to a 7-11 and buy packs of cigarettes? As his brother has called it, as my sister Lorelai has called it, totally delusional. So what do you do?

THERAPIST: And Thanksgiving with the kids there, was it at all normal or it just felt completely crazy?

MOTHER: I tried really hard. I had no motivation for Thanksgiving. I didn’t even care, but I tried – right, Casey? I stood on my feet all day long in the kitchen cooking. I didn’t even sit down because I kept having to serve. He helped me a lot.

FATHER: We tried to cobble it together because Brett came with his girlfriend. Emily came with Devon

MOTHER: Oh, and Devon came early.

FATHER: Yes. Emily came with Devon and Gordon tried. I asked him to please submerge this whole Bruce Jeffries thing for the day. He almost couldn’t and I said, “Gordon, remember you promised?” and then he stopped. [00:42:07]

MOTHER: But then as soon as everybody left he got on the phone and started in again.

FATHER: It started again. He gets down on the phone and we think he’s on the phone – and sometimes he is – but sometimes he’s just talking into a phone so he can collect his thoughts or because people are listening in.

THERAPIST: He needs medication.

MOTHER: I know.

THERAPIST: I know. I know. We all know it. We all know it. I know.

FATHER: I don’t know what to do, Walter. And to think that we’ll just 302 him or this – it’s not easy.

THERAPIST: No, it’s not easy. You have to have [ ] (inaudible at 00:42:42)

FATHER: If he comes home and there are cops standing there, he’ll kill us when he gets out of wherever they put him. He will literally think in his mind the whole time, fake that he’s well, come home, and kill us. This is the kind of terror we live in. And Walter, I try to stand up to him, but as I’ve told you before in my weeping, I’m an actor. I’m a singer. I can act tough, but I’m not tough. [00:43:07]

THERAPIST: I know.

FATHER: And the constant that “we ruined his life.” We’ve talked to you about this before.

THERAPIST: Law school and the whole works.

FATHER: I’ve ruined his life. I made him go to Pratt or something. I lost my job. I should have been paying for him and this and nobody else has told me this but him, okay? I guess I’m the scapegoat.

THERAPIST: Morgan also feels that he may also sort of be, by supporting your decision about Georgia, he feels a little guilty about his role in that.

FATHER: Well he shouldn’t.

THERAPIST: I know that he shouldn’t. I said he’s the young adult, he’s not the parent.

FATHER: Half of me thinks that if we could get that – apparently that house is still there.

MOTHER: Yeah, but it’s not ours.

FATHER: But it’s not ours.

THERAPIST: The one in Georgia?

MOTHER: I’m never going back there. [00:44:00]

FATHER: No, I know. She’d never . . . never mind.

MOTHER: It was a dumb move to begin with. We should have stayed right here.

FATHER: But it was beautiful and we did get some acting gigs for a little while.

THERAPIST: That’s right. I forgot about you guys doing this. I forgot that you were doing those acting things.

MOTHER: That was fun.

THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah. I know.

FATHER: No, I love that stuff.

THERAPIST: Nothing up here at all, though? Nothing like that. Except for your singing.

FATHER: Singing. I’m doing that. I’m going to record with my friend who is coming up.

THERAPIST: And you’re writing a play?

FATHER: I’m finishing a play so we’ll probably do some excerpts from that. I’ve known him since the fifth grade.

THERAPIST: Dora what are you doing to keep some sanity?

MOTHER: I watch him watch TV.

THERAPIST: You’re not getting out at all. You have no friends at this point.

MOTHER: An old friend from the old neighborhood called to see if I wanted to go to lunch with the ladies. We used to always do lunch with the ladies in the cul-de-sac. [00:45:07] We were the United Nations. (chuckles) so we’d go to lunch together. Then there was another lady who went so it was a riot. It was like the U.N. We’d go dutch to lunch maybe twice a month. Then we moved away and then Maria called me and said, ‘We want to go to lunch again now that you are back.” But she hasn’t called me.

THERAPIST: Can you follow up on that, though?

MOTHER: Yeah, she’ll call me.

THERAPIST: Okay. I think it would be very good for you.

MOTHER: To go out with the ladies?

THERAPIST: Yeah.

FATHER: As long as she doesn’t come back bombed. That’s the only thing I worry about.

THERAPIST: I know. Has the drinking been . . ? [00:46:04]

MOTHER: Under control. That’s what I’m asking. What’s your honest opinion, Casey?

FATHER: I think she drinks too much. I think she needs it too much and I think she relies on it too much. I don’t think there’s a problem with her having a little bit, but I do think keeping it more under wraps better than having it out in the open because it is a draw for Gordon to say, “Oh, there’s my drunken mother. Let me beat her up.” I do think, first of all, it’s better that we once in a while get away from the TV, go upstairs and – there was the movie with Jackie Gleason and Paul Newman, The Hustler, where Jackie Gleason used to say in the middle of the match, “Excuse me for a second. I’m going to go in the other room and get some character.” And he freshened up or whatever. [00:47:04] It allows us to “get some character,” mellow out, talk about what’s going on, “okay, let’s make another attempt at watching TV downstairs.” (laughs)

THERAPIST: Could you listen to music?

FATHER: Yeah, we do. We do listen to some music.

MOTHER: And the, God forbid, we should be up late watching TV or turn on the light. Gordon will scream, “Shut the fuck up, you fucking idiots. Go to bed.”

FATHER: He calls us the worst names.

MOTHER: “You old assholes.”

FATHER: I’m a loser; she’s a drunk. The names he calls us is just horrible.

MOTHER: Oh, it’s horrible.

FATHER: And it’s kind of like, Walter, do you know what it takes for me to submerge my ire? There’s the juxtaposition of my ethnicity, hence forming a – do you know what I’m saying?

THERAPIST: No, I can imagine. You must be enraged – both of you.

FATHER: Well it’s submerged. [00:47:57] It’s sort of like anyone else would fight back and say, “You’re calling me a loser? Are you looking at yourself? The degree that you have and your education and all of your studies and acting and everything, and we’re the losers?” We can’t say that, but that’s what we should say.

THERAPIST: I know. It’s so incredibly circular here.

FATHER: I know. But Walter, as circular as it is, you are our beacon.

THERAPIST: I appreciate it, but I don’t feel like I’m offering much.

FATHER: What other objective person who knows us so well and our family could we say anything to.

THERAPIST: I appreciate that. I just feel so bad for you guys. I look back at your life and I just think, “How could you guys have hit it this hard?” It’s just mind-boggling to me when I go back five or six years. [00:49:01]

FATHER: I know. It’s amazing. Try to think of the fallout economically, too.

THERAPIST: I know, but Gordon’s mental illness. We all knew he was incredibly intense. He was always incredibly intense, but obviously this turn was a turn we weren’t expecting.

FATHER: No. I mean you could have expected it if you had anybody in the family that would have an issue like this, other than Morgan’s disability, it would have been Gordon because he’s so strange. But what’s our strategy, Walter? I know we’re taking up too much time.

THERAPIST: No, no.

FATHER: We’re going back there now. We’re going to go see those people next Monday.

THERAPIST: You’re going to the Altrusa, I gather.

FATHER: Yeah, I didn’t make it last night but yes, I’m still doing the Altrusa. I sang at Mermaid; it was very good. I wanted to tell you what I sang; and make sure your dad knows what I sang. What did I sing, Dora, again? Do you know?

MOTHER: Wildfire and Blackbird. [00:50:04]

THERAPIST: Blackbird.

FATHER: A beautiful Beatles’ song, which sort of encapsulates the sadness of being alone and caged. It’s kind of like Maya Angelou.

THERAPIST: Who?

FATHER: Maya Angelou. I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings. Maya Angelou.

THERAPIST: And was the other guy playing a guitar?

FATHER: Yeah. Two Altrusa brothers both playing the guitar. It was wonderful.

FATHER: Great guy; both great. We’ll probably do that again.

THERAPIST: Do you guys have a Parish?

FATHER: Yes.

THERAPIST: Do you go to church, though?

MOTHER: Yeah.

THERAPIST: Do you meet anybody there? Do you stay after? Do you do the coffee thing? [00:50:56]

FATHER: She did sort of make a friend with a former grand Knight’s wife because we wound up going to one of the ceremonies together and they bonded a little bit. She’s a very nice lady. I wish she could cultivate that a little bit because she has taken a liking to Dora.

THERAPIST: It just worries me. I know that you’re not going to kill yourself, but the fact that you said it, that you actually believed it for a second, makes me feel like we have to be aware of trying to find a way for you to feel happier and, obviously, liquor is not the . . .

MOTHER: It just seems hopeless.

THERAPIST: I know.

FATHER: Could you tell her that liquor is just not going to help that when you’re feeling down? It’s an antidepressant.

MOTHER: That particular day I felt hopeless and overwhelmed. Now I’m better.

FATHER: So if she feels like that, what is your strategy?

THERAPIST: I’m just thinking, having a social . . . I know.

FATHER: I totally agree. I am so on board with that.

THERAPIST: You’re not opposed to it, you just can’t think of how to go about it or . . ?

MOTHER: Right.

FATHER: Then I thought maybe I should just break down and have her come hear me have her sing. That way she can have an atmosphere there, but then there’s the temptation of alcohol and the bar. [00:52:06]

THERAPIST: But you don’t mind if she were to have one drink, do you really?

MOTHER: Casey, what does it matter if I have a glass of wine while you’re singing?

FATHER: If you just have one, I guess it’s okay.

MOTHER: It’s not like I’m going to get up on the bar and put lampshades on my head.

FATHER: I know, but I would like to be more inclusive of her and do stuff like that. I even said something today. My friend gave us this guitar.

THERAPIST: Do you play?

MOTHER: No.

FATHER: No, but Gordon plays and has been playing it. It’s been a wonderful source of him having an outlet because he’s a musician. He plays it, he keeps it nice for my friend, and I thought wouldn’t it be nice if Dora picked it up and is trying a little bit on there. I know she’s got arthritis, but . . .

THERAPIST: Did he used to play?

FATHER: She used to play Baila Gana. (ph?)

THERAPIST: What’s Baila Gana?

FATHER: Some kind of Spanish thing.

MOTHER: It’s an easy Spanish song, flamenco.

FATHER: I would love her to do that. [00:53:05]

MOTHER: But after two years she said, “Honey, you’re wasting your money. You’ll never be a guitar player.”

THERAPIST: [The heart is certainly there.] (ph?)

MOTHER: Plus I’m tone deaf.

FATHER: But I also thought we should go on Amazing Race. We’ll be the two old people they root for maybe. I want to do stuff like that. I really do and I want to do it with her.

THERAPIST: I wish you all had outlets. I’m glad you have a parish. I’m glad about party night and all that, but I’d love, Dora, if you could call up Maria back and say, “I’m up for this.”

FATHER: Or ask what’s-her-name, Janet? “Are you going antiquing any time soon?” It’s not like you have to buy anything.

THERAPIST: Yeah, just walk around.

FATHER: That’s what she likes to do.

MOTHER: I think antiquing is stupid.

FATHER: I know. I do, too.

THERAPIST: You’re just talking about being with people, though.

FATHER: Yes, exactly.

THERAPIST: Anything that makes you not feel like you’re just trapped in your house with Gordon.

FATHER: And that’s how it’s feeling.

THERAPIST: That’s why I just want anything to get you out of there.

FATHER: Exactly. And we never know what we’re dealing with and when it’s going to be over. Is there a strategy, Walter? Do we just keep going on the way we’re doing? [00:54:05]

THERAPIST: Yeah. I don’t have a strategy. I really don’t.

FATHER: Avoid him when we can. Let him know that we’re seeing this group of people.

THERAPIST: Right.

FATHER: Which gives him some sense that if he tries something, the outside world is aware; plus we get the support of knowing other people have similar problems. We just want you to . . . I want you to have an outlet. You’re so brilliant. You write. You do so many things. I think writing isn’t enough.

MOTHER: I just don’t have the motivation. All I can think of is how broke we always are, how mad Gordon is, how it’s upsetting Morgan, and then yesterday I got a stomach virus. I was in the bathroom all day long.

THERAPIST: The idea of getting any kind of job is really ridiculous? At this point it would just be Burger King, basically. There would be nothing right now? [00:55:00]

FATHER: That’s not true. With her background and the connections that she had and the names she could drop, if there was this particular right job, like writing for some professor, historical work, she’s good at that. She’s very good at that.

THERAPIST: As a researcher?

FATHER: Transcription. Her typing is rusty, but – you know – it wouldn’t take much.

MOTHER: Editing is my forte.

THERAPIST: Which was?

MOTHER: Editing. I edited a newspaper looking for typos.

THERAPIST: Did you really?

FATHER: That one work that you do, maybe that will be something she could edit for you.

THERAPIST: Would you be able to edit dissertations?

MOTHER: Sure.

THERAPIST: Because potentially I could put your name in on that. The Department of Students does look for editors.

MOTHER: Cool. [00:56:02]

THERAPIST: The only thing you would have to learn would be American and Psychological Association, the way they do citation – the basic stuff – otherwise it just follows standard shrunken white English.

MOTHER: I did a dissertation for a PhD candidate once – I forget what it was about – in college. She wasn’t the greatest writer in the world so I fixed it up as I typed it along; and she passed.

FATHER: This is something she is really good at.

MOTHER: Just thinking of going home to Gordon.

THERAPIST: It literally makes you shake uncontrolled.

MOTHER: Yes.

THERAPIST: Do you both have to go directly home?

MOTHER: Where else are we going to go? Plus I went to the bathroom as soon as we got here. I have to go really bad right now. I have this intestinal thing going on. [00:57:05]

THERAPIST: You’re not feeling well anyway. You’re week.

MOTHER: Yeah.

FATHER: But yes, Walter. I have those TripTiks. I would love to go away at some point.

THERAPIST: I know.

FATHER: Even if it’s for three or four days.

THERAPIST: I appreciate that you went to that event. I’m glad this older couple was supportive.

FATHER: Yeah, they were like saints. They were like angels. They were wonderful people and they understood us.

THERAPIST: I just feel bad that Dora doesn’t have a little more.

FATHER: I know, we need to do something.

MOTHER: I’m sorry, but I really have to go.

FATHER: Are you going to come back?

THERAPIST: Go. Go.

MOTHER: Should I leave this? I’m sorry. It’s bad.

FATHER: What can we possibly do? Where can we steer her? I would love to. Believe me, this is not like something that I don’t bring up on any . . . I’ve tried the editing of a book or something for herself.

THERAPIST: But why won’t she go out with the friends and stuff. Were any of them close friends or was it really just the luncheon?

FATHER: It was just people in the circle of the neighborhood. [00:58:04] She never really got close with any of them. This woman, who is my Altrusa brother, his wife, they really sort of hit it off. It was a good relationship between the two of them. I’d love to cultivate that.

THERAPIST: What if you said to your Altrusa brother, “Would you mind having your wife invite Dora?”

FATHER: I think she has, though.

THERAPIST: Dora says no?

FATHER: I think she’s invited her to go antiquing, not that Dora would want to buy anything anyway, but it’s something to do and then you have lunch, you know? I think it would be good to cultivate.

THERAPIST: She talks about the idea of needing her own space and that would be it.

FATHER: I agree.

THERAPIST: How is your marriage doing?

FATHER: It’s stressful, Walter.

THERAPIST: Because of the Gordon stuff and the drinking fears.

FATHER: The major thing is Gordon and then the other thing is the drinking. [00:59:04] So here I’m trying to keep it under wraps, trying not to cut her off; that way she won’t lie to me. So I have a bottle or two in the bedroom and I try to encourage her to just drink up there so it’s not in front of Gordon. In that way, it does moderate her a little bit. I’m afraid to cut it all off. If I cut that off with the other things that I am doing, it’s kind of unfair; however I do try to get her more involved in other sources of mellowness. I just think it helps her if she doesn’t get paranoid. I think she gets calmer. She finds the humor in things.

MOTHER: I’m sorry.

THERAPIST: Are you okay?

MOTHER: Yeah, it’s just an intestinal thing. At first I thought I had poisoned everyone with the turkey and gave them all food poisoning; but clearly, it’s only me. (chuckles) [01:00:01]

FATHER: Dora, we were talking about cultivating – what’s this guy’s name? What’s my Altrusa wife name again?

MOTHER: Julia?

FATHER: Julia. You should maybe call Julia and say let’s get together for something fun.

MOTHER: All she ever wants to do is go to stupid yard sales.

FATHER: But you don’t have to buy anything. Just go with her and have a cheap lunch, right?

THERAPIST: You’re the one saying you really wanted time away. You wanted down time a little bit. I know you meant alone, too, but this would still be away from the family

FATHER: Yeah. And it’s with a nice Catholic lady and it’s with somebody who, obviously, has a husband who’s not well so she’s dealing with a lot of shit. Excuse my French. It would be a start at least. It would be something.

THERAPIST: I think it’s a good idea.

FATHER: Then as you meet other Altrusa and other friends we’ll do other things and have you channel yourself. Right now I want you to have things that interest you that don’t involve me so that you can enjoy yourself and grow and we can come together then and be fully formed.

MOTHER: I know, Casey. It’s just that right now I feel that . . . Yesterday it was Brett calling, “Please make me a doctor’s appointment. I think there’s something wrong with my stomach.” That woke us up.

FATHER: You realize this is Gordon’s age – what is he, 32?

MOTHER: Thirty-one.

FATHER: Thirty-one. He has to have us make his doctor’s appointments. (chuckles) Walter, I didn’t mind. I did it, but it’s like – hello?

THERAPIST: Have you said no at this point? It would just get too ugly?

MOTHER: Probably.

FATHER: Not only that, but why would I say no? I love him. I feel bad, like he needs me. At least it’s something I can do for him and I’m not a total [schlavootz] (ph?). I’m of some net benefit. [01:02:04]

THERAPIST: Is that a real word? Schlavootz? Is that a real word?

FATHER: That’s a word that I have conjured, but I’ve passed it on – so pass it on. Give it to the world.

THERAPIST: I like it. Okay.

FATHER: It’s kind of like if something’s not right, it’s schlavootz.

THERAPIST: So it’s a Yiddish . . .

FATHER: Yeah, it’s hard to trace because it’s been lost in time. (laughter) I just love this guy. He’s wonderful. Okay, we’ll be appearing later tonight.

THERAPIST: I just want to ask Dora one question. Iris thinks that this Boston guy that they got, they’re paying too much and that he gets injured.

MOTHER: Another guy from Boston?

THERAPIST: You didn’t hear?

FATHER: No.

THERAPIST: Ellsbury.

MOTHER: (sucks in breath) We got Jacoby Ellsbury?

THERAPIST: $130 million dollars. The paper came out saying the Ellsbury dough boy. (chuckling)

FATHER: That’s perfect. That’s great.

MOTHER: I can’t believe Boston let him go. He wants to be a Yankee?

THERAPIST: He is a Yankee now.

FATHER: Is he an American Indian?

MOTHER: Yeah, he is.

THERAPIST: Anyway, I didn’t know how you felt about it.

MOTHER: I guess if he’s a Yankee it will be all right. I mean I warmed up to Damon when we got him.

THERAPIST: That’s what they compared him to.

MOTHER: He’s good. I’m surprised Boston let him go. How does Iris feel? That’s way too much money. Nobody needs that much money.

THERAPIST: She’s worried this guy gets injured a lot. She said he’s like half this season out, so she’s worried about that. But she’s glad they’re doing something about offense. She just thinks they have to do something more about defense still, though. They have to get a pitcher she said.

FATHER: So we’re sort of like baseball widowers.

THERAPIST: We are baseball widowers, exactly. (laughter) I told you, I think, Casey is running all around the place to try to get the cable re-hooked up. They have YES channel or something like that; and Iris said, “Oh, Dora is so lucky to have YES.” I said, “Oh, for God’s sake.” [01:04:10]

FATHER: Can you imagine? It’s only for my own safety.

MOTHER: The games aren’t even on YES anymore.

THERAPIST: What do you mean?

MOTHER: They use the YES announcers, but you’ve got to get the MLB package. You have to pay extra for the MLB package and then they’ll have the pre-game on YES and then you switch to the MLB channel; and then you switch back to YES. And if it’s a home game, you’ll get the YES announcers – what’s his name – Michael Kay and Kenny Singleton. Baseball is getting to be a big rip-off.

THERAPIST: I agree. I agree that moneywise, it’s just disgusting.

MOTHER: Like $1,000 would change my life and these guys are making millions for playing.

THERAPIST: Millions. It’s painful.

MOTHER: They’re playing a game. [01:05:03]

FATHER: For me, I love a tennis tournament. I could watch that.

THERAPIST: My dad used to love watching tennis.

FATHER: Your dad must have been cool.

THERAPIST: He was an interesting man.

FATHER: Was he a psychologist, too?

THERAPIST: No. He was an entrepreneur; he was a businessman. He was very bright, but he was very wild. He was a drinker. He was a war hero.

FATHER: Awesome. World War II? Korean War?

THERAPIST: World War II.

MOTHER: Wow.

FATHER: Jeep? Truck? Wow. Do you drive a Jeep?

THERAPIST: No. Mini Cooper.

FATHER: I know. I saw your car. I love that car.

THERAPIST: Yeah, it’s a sweet little car. He was a good guy.

FATHER: I’m going to say a prayer to him tonight.

THERAPIST: He’s gone.

FATHER: It doesn’t matter.

THERAPIST: Yeah, thanks.

FATHER: I’m still saying a prayer. He’s out there somewhere looking out and he’d be very, very proud. [01:06:05]

THERAPIST: He was a real narcissist. He was very interesting, but he didn’t really pay much attention to me, to the three of us, the kids. It was all about him. We were audience.

FATHER: Are you oldest?

THERAPIST: The youngest. I’m the baby.

FATHER: See, we relate to that. I relate to the baby thing.

MOTHER: I’m the oldest.

THERAPIST: Are you? The responsible one. You need to be carefree.

MOTHER: I don’t know what it – I was born grown up. I think I’m regressing.

FATHER: Can I just say something? I love this woman. Okay, I’m not thrilled about the hair currently, (laughing) but it’s growing on me and I’m trying to. Who is this strange woman in my bed?

MOTHER: The kids say it makes me look ten years younger.

THERAPIST: Yeah, it is. It’s a nice cut.

FATHER: I love her, though, and I want her to have that. She’s getting her medicine, we’re signed up for this medical thing.

THERAPIST: I think you’re doing a lot of good there. On the Gordon stuff, it’s not about him growing up. It’s about his wellness.

FATHER: Here’s the thing that I think is the linchpin I’m hoping: I want him to start seeing and understanding that life is passing him by and when you try to broach it it’s like, “But this thing; it won’t end.”

THERAPIST: I’ll call. I’ll see if I can come up with something for you guys.

MOTHER: I still think I should be able to call.

FATHER: I just don’t want you to call because if it gets back to him that she calls, he could get violent on her.

MOTHER: But they never even call him. He keeps saying he’s out of the loop, but everybody else is in the loop. I don’t think there even is a frigging loop.

FATHER: Be careful not to use his name so they don’t generate . . .

THERAPIST: I’ll just say “a client.” I won’t tell them who you are. Okay. I guess we should wrap up.

FATHER: Do you want to try to get a time?

THERAPIST: Yes, certainly.

FATHER: How was your Thanksgiving?

THERAPIST: Actually quite nice. I went up to Rhode Island. My mom is still alive. She’s 92. [01:08:03]

MOTHER: Wow.

FATHER: Bless her. These people that we saw the other night were remarkable people, Walter.

MOTHER: They were.

FATHER: They have this third child, 40 years plus, in their house and it’s like – what wonderful people. They’re just trying to help him in any way they can. How do we deal with this? And the connection we made with them was remarkable. It was all just like “wow, you guys are amazing.”

THERAPIST: But you guys are going to have things in common with people with special kids.

FATHER: That’s true. So the event is the second Monday in January. FYI. We’re seeing Dr. Bingham on January 7th.

MOTHER: That’s not true. It’s the second Monday of the month. It’s December, so it’s whatever the second Monday in December is.

FATHER: Yeah, it’s next Monday.

MOTHER: And then it will be the second Monday in January. [01:09:03]

FATHER: Exactly. I’m sorry. I got that wrong.

THERAPIST: Either we go in a couple of weeks or we could do the day after Christmas. I don’t know if you’re still around the 26th.

FATHER: It’s my birthday, the 26th, so I always celebrate Boxing Day.

THERAPIST: The 2nd would work also.

FATHER: And Kwanza begins that day, so we want to . . .

THERAPIST: (chuckling) Right. I know Kwanza you take seriously.

MOTHER: Wouldn’t want to wreck Kwanza.

FATHER: What is your schedule over the holidays, Walter?

THERAPIST: I know I’m leaving on the 3rd of January; but other than that, I’m in Rhode Island just for Christmas itself.

FATHER: When are you coming back after the 3rd?

THERAPIST: Then I’ll be back on the 8th.

FATHER: Can we wait until the 8th, Dora? I don’t know.

THERAPIST: I’ll be back on the 7th, but I could be here the 8th.

FATHER: And the 8th is a what?

THERAPIST: That’s a Thursday. No – I’m sorry, it would be the 9th. Oh, no. That day I do have something, unless we did it in the morning. (pause)

FATHER: January 9th?

MOTHER: Unless you want to do it before Christmas. It’s up to you guys.

THERAPIST: I don’t care.

FATHER: It’s up to you, Dora. Do you think the stress will be so great that you’re going to need…?

MOTHER: Yeah, because the holidays are depressing me. I used to look forward to Christmas and now I just want it to be over.

THERAPIST: You want to meet before that then?

FATHER: I’m sorry, yeah. Maybe we should, Walter.

MOTHER: I don’t want to decorate . . .

THERAPIST: We have the 19th as a possibility or the 26th – wait, that’s your birthday.

FATHER: All right, so how about the 19th? That will be right before Christmas and we’ll just wear red.

THERAPIST: Okay. So, again, 3:00 on the 19th.

FATHER: Walter, Walter, thank you.

THERAPIST: You’re welcome.

FATHER: Thursday, the 19th, December. Thank you so much, Walter.

THERAPIST: You’re welcome. It’s good seeing you both.

FATHER: Thank you. Thank you very much. Anything else for Walter?

MOTHER: No, I’m just ashamed that I thought about that. (sighs)

THERAPIST: The whole thing – part of your shaking might just be weak from being sick, too.

FATHER: Medicine, too, could be related.

MOTHER: I think I lost about ten pounds yesterday.

FATHER: And I’d like to thank you very much and we’ll see you next week. Thank you.

END TRANSCRIPT