TRANSCRIPT OF AUDIO FILE:

BEGIN TRANSCRIPT:

CLIENT: The only thing, like right now and feel pretty energized. And I feel like yesterday was one of those days. And I had a closing today.

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: And...

THERAPIST: Right, where you were ready for documents and all that kind of stuff.

CLIENT: So there's documents. I've got E&G.

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: Wednesday night, for some reason, I told Jess I would pick Ian up from school at 2:30 and take him to his 3:10 ice skating lesson. And I had to go pick up a file. I had to look at a file in the probate court which was can be available afternoon for a closing for another attorney today. So there was no way I was going to get everything in.

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: So...

THERAPIST: You mean, for your closing.

CLIENT: Just all those activities.

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: There's no way. So I basically didn't go to E&G... [0:01:02]

THERAPIST: Gotcha.

CLIENT: ...which is like my third absence. You're allowed four. I'm a little worried about them kicking me out. But of course, the docs don't come while I'm in the office. But I was productive and getting some things done. Then I left. And as I get there, the docs show up. And so I got the probate file. Everything happened very quickly and no hassles and got out of there. And the one thing I should have done is I should have brought my laptop into the registry with me because they have Wi-Fi. But I didn't know when I got I was already passed my away from car when I got the e-mail. So I'm back to my car and it's like quarter to 2:00. And so I decide to book home and sit in my car outside the home and use the Wi-Fi to put everything at least the settlement statement together which I was able to do. [0:02:10]

THERAPIST: Oh, good. That's before picking Ian up?

CLIENT: And then get pick Ian up and everything sort of fell into place. Went after I Ian's friend is in this ice skating class. And he was there with his mom and he wanted a play date. And the mom is like, "Oh, yea. I'll take him home." And then I go, "OK. You take him." I called Jess, left a voice mail. I'm like, "Yea, take my kid." So I decided to go to Jess's office. I had Ian's stuff so I had drop off at the house.

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: So I went to the office, printed out the closing, went a saw Lucille. [0:03:03] Went out with a friend last night. This morning, printed up copies at the FedEx for the borrower. And it was normally one of those things that I would just be freaking out about. And I didn't really freak out at all. I just I was expecting the worst case that the docs weren't going to come until morning. Or I was going to have to cancel going out with my friend. And which worked out well because he's an attorney I send business to and do business for. I mean it is money for me which was nice.

THERAPIST: Great.

CLIENT: So I can almost cover that check I wrote for estimated taxes.

THERAPIST: Oh, good.

CLIENT: Be a little short but we'll see. (chuckling) But yea, I was actually I could feel the first day I took it I felt a little I was supposed to take a half and I didn't. [0:04:10] I took a whole. I forgot. That was Wednesday. And I noticed it some. And I had a lot of title work to get done on Wednesday and really had no problems whipping through it.

And yesterday I definitely felt more of a I don't want to use the word buzz but I could definitely feel my head turning a little quicker. And so yea, I don't know. We'll see how it goes. The one thing is I was doing some research on it and it has an interaction with Prilosec. [0:05:02] I take the generic form of Prilosec which...

THERAPIST: What's that for?

CLIENT: Heartburn. And I decided to start taking the Prilosec in the afternoon to and I think that's may have what happened on the first day because I had Prilosec in the morning. And then an hour or two later took the Adderall. So I think that might have muted the effects on Wednesday. And so I got to talk to Micah (ph) about that. And but it seemed to work out taking them in the afternoon. I mean, the best case for the Prilosec is to take it first thing in the morning. That's the preferred. But I have to make some sort of adjustment. So yea. [0:06:01] So I got the closing.

THERAPIST: Good.

CLIENT: And go to the office. Do a little of work.

THERAPIST: No other side effects? Anything sort of like appetite or...

CLIENT: I feel a little less hungry which is good. I don't mind losing some weight.

THERAPIST: Right. You're taking the Adderall in the morning?

CLIENT: Yea.

THERAPIST: OK. So now you should fall asleep at night then.

CLIENT: No. Well, I was drunk so I really I had no problems falling asleep. Maybe I was buzzed. I was a couple of margaritas, some port. But I really didn't eat a lot yesterday. And I've got dry mouth. In fact, my lip is hurting from the dry mouth. I should be carrying some water around with me. But the dry mouth is really the only side effect I've noticed. [0:07:00] No nausea or dizziness or anything like that.

THERAPIST: And you don't feel more anxious?

CLIENT: No. And I was wondering this morning. I'm like, "Should I be taking Klonopin and Adderall?" I mean, what (chuckling). So...

THERAPIST: Well, good. I'm glad it's helping.

CLIENT: And it's been a I don't know. It was crazy. I my condo litigation I get an e-mail from the trustee who's living in Europe that he no longer supports the litigation. That he's adding the defendant to the bank account. And he gave some checks to the other trustee to sign for her to pay stuff. He's stopping payment on those, opening up a new account. Not putting the other trustee who was on the account on the accounts of the defendant. [0:08:03] He's basically teaming up with the defendant. And so I wrote...

THERAPIST: Against whom?

CLIENT: Against the other trustee.

THERAPIST: OK.

CLIENT: So he's switching sides which, for me, I represent the trust. I don't represent them individually. So if he says no litigation and the defendant says no litigation, I have no choice. I've got a majority of the trustees telling me what the trust should be doing.

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: So even though I've got a judgment for that is going to come in in about $15,000. And I explained to them how the condo is going to be responsible for if this goes to the end she's responsible for my fees. I said but, "You would be responsible." The condo would be responsible for the remainder of my fee which is they've already paid me two grand. [0:09:02] It'd be like another three grand which I'll probably never see from them. But so I got an e-mail from the disenfranchised trustee. And then she called me on the way to work yesterday. And normally I would have blown off returning that phone call. But I got into the office and it was the first call I made. Or maybe I called someone else first. But so...

THERAPIST: Great.

CLIENT: Is it placebo? Is it the Adderall? Is it just I've been a good mood lately?

THERAPIST: Oh, we'll wait and see. My hunch is that the Adderall in addition to whatever it's doing for like focus and stuff I can't help but think like motivation. [0:10:01] I mean, that's not what it's officially prescribed for. But it can sort of lower the threshold for getting yourself to do stuff.

CLIENT: Yea. And I...

THERAPIST: And also that may be what's going on.

CLIENT: And I was in the car.

THERAPIST: (inaudible at 0:10:15).

CLIENT: I was quickly putting the settlement statement together. And I didn't get to double check the numbers. And I sent it off and just there was like a little [missed error note] (ph) made. The numbers were correct. And I did it very quickly so...

THERAPIST: Good.

CLIENT: ...it was a perfect opportunity to make a mistake.

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: And when I got back to Jess's office, I double checked everything. So that's where we're at. I get annoyed when Jess gets pissed off at me for she was upset with she's like, "I told Ian he couldn't have a play date." [0:11:00] I was like, "Well, I don't know this." Could blame the mom.

THERAPIST: Why not?

CLIENT: Because it's late. Because she doesn't want to take Lucille to go pick him up. Schlep. And they live on the second floor. So it's just a pain in the ass for her.

THERAPIST: Like to carry Lucille?

CLIENT: Well, she walks. But just...

THERAPIST: OK.

CLIENT: I seem to be running around picking this kid up, taking him everywhere. I don't have it's more baggage carrying with me. But so but the kid's mom is like, "Oh, I'll bring him home." So I'm like, "Well, what's the harm? He's going to get dinner. He's going to be brought home." But I guess when Jess finally spoke to them that, somehow, she wasn't going to bring him home. So but it's why I made sure I went to the office first to let her cool down. [0:12:06]

But it's a play date. He can have some fun. Yea, but really just she's so even if she's just mad in general, she makes it seem like, "You fucking asshole. What did you do?" She doesn't say that but that's how I feel. (pause) And I just want to say to her, "You can't talk to me like that anymore." But I'm not stupid. Put in a few drinks, I might say it.

I went to this restaurant. Some Mexican restaurant, I don't even know the name. It wasn't up on the door or anything. And they have the menus on iPads. [0:13:01] And at first I was like oh, this is kind of bulky and slow and really everything is in Spanish in all the dishes. But you would pull up a dish and have a picture of it. And then you could get more details and it tells you all the ingredients. And it shows you to them shows you a picture of the ingredients before they're cooked. Has the history of the dish, where the dish comes from.

THERAPIST: Whoa.

CLIENT: And then you can pull up the big the full screen picture of it.

THERAPIST: Whoa.

CLIENT: And...

THERAPIST: Then you order right from there? Or do you go in?

CLIENT: You've got to we were at the bar. You tell them. I don't think they've got that down yet.

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: But takes you a little longer to get through, I think. But it was pretty cool.

THERAPIST: That's cool.

CLIENT: So I was looking for Angry Birds. I couldn't find it.

THERAPIST: (inaudible at 0:10:15).

CLIENT: And I guess that's where everything is moving. [0:14:04] I don't know if I like it or not. Give me a menu. A menu with pictures is really something for late night greasy food. Denny's or... (pause) And for some reason, I feel bad about the E&G thing.

THERAPIST: About having to miss the meeting yesterday.

CLIENT: Yea. Because we're a small group and I called well, actually that was the first call I made was to the President.

THERAPIST: I see, yea.

CLIENT: That was the first call I made. And she told me I had to bring an extra we have Visitor Day next week. I have to bring an extra visitor. I haven't even tried for a visitor. [0:15:00] I don't even know what the what profession we're focusing on.

THERAPIST: Yea. How many people you guys having to bring these days?

CLIENT: About 15. One may have just left. But this one guy said he was joining from (inaudible at 0:15:17). So well, we're definitely moving in the positive direction.

THERAPIST: Good.

CLIENT: Vivien (ph) is a really good President. She's kind of a bit brash but you kind of need that. You really someone who's kind of grab the group and take it. I don't think I was really equipped to do that. And the Vice President they're all motivated. The lead team is motivated which is an important thing. So I'm still getting mortgage guy. I'm doing well.

THERAPIST: Good.

CLIENT: I'm nervous about when rates take up and things shut off for a little while. I wish I could be putting some money away. [0:16:00] I put a little bit away. And I'm going to have to spend that on student loans and car insurance and all these things I have to pay.

So it's having to pay 1500 bucks was a big hit. And I don't know what's going on with rent, my rent or just all over the board. Just these taxes are killing me. Make an estimated payment and the state is going to take 300 bucks. And then I got to send 400 bucks to the feds again. And Jess is doesn't have any money. She's getting slow getting paid from this firm she's doing work in. And I got into the habit of having her only give me $900 that was $1930 for the taxes. So I'm picking up an extra part of it but whatever. [0:17:04] I bought her $160 toner cartridge. So she can't complain I'm not contributing. (pause)

I do having a closing at the end of the month. It's a small it's a sale but it's a small one. So is today the 18th?

THERAPIST: Yea.

CLIENT: So next Friday is the 23rd, 25th. Yea. [0:18:03] (pause) I'm not going to take the Adderall this weekend. That way I can take my Prilosec in the morning and survive the tailgate big game.

THERAPIST: Yea. Let's see. It's the Colts, right?

CLIENT: The Ravens.

THERAPIST: The Colts because ah, shit.

CLIENT: It's Baltimore, though. They used to be the Colts.

THERAPIST: Baltimore. Oh, OK.

CLIENT: Used to be the Colts.

THERAPIST: Baltimore because Baltimore beat Denver, yea. It's too bad because then there was the Manning blitz of matchup, right? [0:19:05]

CLIENT: Brady.

THERAPIST: Brady, shit.

CLIENT: But we get a home game, so...

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: ...which I'd rather have than the big matchup.

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: See, the thing is, is everybody was calling for that matchup. So you knew it wasn't going to happen. And they are favored by nine points.

THERAPIST: Wow.

CLIENT: But everybody is calling for a close game. So you know the one thing that's going to happen is it's not going to be a close game. I mean, that's just...

THERAPIST: The universe is contrarian.

CLIENT: Well, I'm contrarian.

THERAPIST: Oh, OK.

CLIENT: And it works. It's mass psychology. Where everybody is thinking the same thing based on emotion and not really facts.

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: I don't know if you guys study mass psychology. I've just come across it as far as investing is concerned.

THERAPIST: Sort of yea, (inaudible at 0:20:02).

CLIENT: It's a big part of why you get these bull runs and bubbles and you know.

THERAPIST: Yea, actually with some of the theory of acquisition investing because of the math (inaudible at 0:20:24) I think I was doing where they show how having a combination of like if you run simulations with a combination of value investors and trend investors. And the trend investors are the ones who they are talking about and that produce those bubbles and crashes and stuff.

CLIENT: And the fed by keeping money flowing into the system is just allowing the trend people to keep going.

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: So it's artificial. And that's why if you go back and you look prior to the 90s, you had these pretty even boom and bust cycles. [0:21:06] It was three years, whatever. And now the booms are much longer but the busts are much longer. And that's why we're still in this crappy economy because we went through such a long boom, a huge boom. And that boom turned to that you went from the tech bubble to the housing bubble. So there really was nothing even though the economy wasn't doing that great...

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: ...under Bush, the housing bubble really kept things going. And now the bubble is going to be in gold. Hot tip. If only I had money to buy gold. I have a little bit. Not much to buy dinner with though. [0:22:02] This guy found a gold nugget in Australia. He was using a metal detector. And like a three hundred and something thousand dollar...

THERAPIST: Wow.

CLIENT: ...gold nugget just based on its weight.

THERAPIST: Wow.

CLIENT: And they're saying because of its shape and size that it's actually worth more as a collectible. So it's worth more than its weight in gold. But it's pretty neat. It's like this it only looks this big. But it's quite a few ounces.

THERAPIST: Oh, it must be really heavy.

CLIENT: Yea, yea.

THERAPIST: Gold is incredibly heavy.

CLIENT: And God, I just can't imagine. You're digging. You're thinking you're going to find a couple quarters or a bottle cap or something.

THERAPIST: (chuckling)

CLIENT: There's this it's crazy. [0:23:00] Yea, it's an alertness. I have an alertness would be a way to describe it. I feel alert right now. (pause)

THERAPIST: Yea, you kind of although it seems to me to have a sort of like an energetic quality. And even like yea, a little confidence about being able to get things done. That you always have had. It must be really nice to be going to a closing feeling this way. Rather than, "Oh shit. I still need this document. And what happens if the whoever doesn't bring the whatever? And I have to actually do this on Monday and do that."

CLIENT: It's nice. It's Sovereign Bank so it's a small package. [0:24:01] They don't require me to send the docs back till after disbursement because I got to send a check to them for escrows. So they only want to look at a couple of documents pretty painless with them. But the hard part is getting to the closing. But once you get to the closing.

THERAPIST: Right. Where is this one?

CLIENT: [inaudible]

THERAPIST: Oh, not too bad.

CLIENT: Yea. So the borrower and I'm like she wanted to do it on the early side. And I was like, "Well, I'm going to be in the area. I might as well instead of you driving up to the office and me driving up therewhy don't I just meet you nearby?" I kind of prefer to do it at people's homes. I think you get a little more slack. They're appreciative. So they come to the office, they can't find it. They're. [0:25:04]

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: ...bitter. I need to get a bigger table for the office. I've got a little glass table. I need to clean my office. I got coffee cups everywhere. I need to water my plants. It's been weeks. (pause) Couldn't sell my concert tickets.

THERAPIST: Oh, that's too bad.

CLIENT: No one wanted to go. I mean, it's I don't know a lot of people who are into that music anymore anyways. But what can you do? [0:26:00] I piss away money all the time. Be nice if I could just find somebody to use the tickets. I think I'll post it on Facebook today. (pause)

I know this changing of the Prilosec is going to mess me up. I'm rarely I miss my morning meds. [0:27:04] Occasionally I do. But afternoon meds, I'm not as consistent with.

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: I used to bring them with me and now I don't. And then I get like yesterday, well, I got home about 5:30 which was plenty of time to take my Wellbutrin. But Sundays, I'm not home until like 7:00 or 8:00. I go see the kids.

THERAPIST: Could you keep them in the glove box?

CLIENT: I could. It's a good idea. (pause) I really felt tired last night, though, when I was out with my buddy, Paul. [0:28:05] I felt tired. Because I think that was after two margaritas. So I don't if that (inaudible at 0:28:15). I don't know that how long the Adderall works. But I don't want to say I crashed but I definitely...

THERAPIST: You got tired. Yea, so when did you take it?

CLIENT: Eight or nine in the morning eight in the morning.

THERAPIST: And is it stuff that is extended release?

CLIENT: I meant to look at XR and saw that there was a difference.

THERAPIST: Right. Yea. Some are XR I think and some aren't.

CLIENT: Yea. It just says IE IC amphetamine salts.

THERAPIST: Yea. I don't know. I if it's not extended release, I don't think it would last that long. [0:29:03]

CLIENT: It must be extended release. I don't know. I have no idea.

THERAPIST: In any case, I mean, if you didn't have it clearly had worn off. And I don't know how much a crash people typically experience. Whether it's a crash, whether it's just that you've been kind of a little more energized than usual during the day so you're a little more tired at night maybe something like that. I mean, it doesn't necessarily sound like a bad thing if it helps kind of regularize your sleep schedule.

CLIENT: Yea. Well, I'm definitely not going to fall asleep on the couch at 5:00 anyway.

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: But I've been getting up early.

THERAPIST: Good.

CLIENT: Wednesday, I have to take Ian to school which I was up. [0:30:04] And went to CVS and got the Adderall and went to the office, I think. I killed a bunch of titles earlier this week. I got one more to do today and then another one. I've still got to send them a status of all the money they fucking owe me. That would make my life a little easier. (pause) Oh, and the disenfranchised trustee somehow I don't know how she did it or why she did it she apologized. But forwarded my e-mail to the defendant with my advice on...

THERAPIST: Oh.

CLIENT: And she's like, "Well, I'm sure he must have sent it to her anyways. Nothing she didn't know." And I was like I'm kind of glad because I was going to put more strategic options in there. [0:31:12] But decided not to they keep you tell them a bunch of things. And they pull some piece of information out and then use it against you later. So...

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: Well, why didn't we do that? It's like well, you can't do everything. So I've intentionally left some of that stuff out which but still I'm kind of it is cluster fucked. I drive by it all the time on my way.

THERAPIST: Where is this?

CLIENT: The office. And so now there's a big fight going on with the bank. Disenfranchised trustee called the bank and explained that there's litigation going on and all this. [0:32:00] And so they're putting a hold on them opening another account. And banks don't want to refer them to me. So I don't want to get involved. People at the bank like me. I'm in there almost every other day. (sigh) (pause)

Yea, just like going to do the copies before I came in here. Instead of procrastinating and undoing the staples on the way there, just or even waiting till after we meet. So I don't know.

THERAPIST: Sounds great. I hope it continues. It'd make a big difference. [0:32:59]

CLIENT: Now if they've got a drug to help me find a woman.

THERAPIST: I haven't heard of that one.

CLIENT: No. Do you think they're even working on one?

THERAPIST: No. I mean...

CLIENT: What if I went and bought Axe and sprayed Axe all over me. That seemed to work on TV in the commercials.

THERAPIST: And they probably just like in the commercials, yea. They do have things that, I think, where people are like fooling around like spraying oxytocin in people's noses and stuff. But boy, they which makes you kind of sort of trying you to be more open or feel closer emotionally. But I'm not trying to say that that's what you're asking about. [0:34:03] But it's sort of frighteningly (ph) like that.

CLIENT: Well, actually they do have a medication. It's called ruffie. Just like we're at these we went to a couple of bars afterwards. And it's like I wouldn't approach anyone in a bar. Just wouldn't do it. And if a woman was sitting next to me at the bar, I would talk to her.

THERAPIST: Right. But you wouldn't go over to somebody.

CLIENT: Right. (pause) I'm normally slimmer. This is just my winter weight. How's that for an opening line? [0:35:00] Apparently there was a scathing article at my law school in the Sunday paper.

THERAPIST: Oh really?

CLIENT: How the dean makes more than all the other deans in the area. He makes like a million dollars.

THERAPIST: Wow.

CLIENT: And one of the board members was paid $75,000. But when they investigated, they gave it back.

THERAPIST: Wow.

CLIENT: And it was (phone ringing). And just really made the school look bad. Tuition is like only $1000 less and the whole mission of the school is provide low price to...

THERAPIST: Yea, I know.

CLIENT: And I mean, there's no undergraduate school to support the law school. So he does deserve a little more than any other deans. But a million bucks? I don't know. It seems kind of hefty. So didn't it kind of lessoned my degree a little bit. [0:36:01] So at this point, I'm lucky to not have to rely too much on it. I haven't read the article. Paul is going to send it to me. (pause)

THERAPIST: Well, if the Adderall really makes a difference with being able to work, and exercise and eating and stuff like that that could boost your confidence in a way that would make a big difference, I think. I mean, as well as just making various things better. [0:37:01] That could be really helpful. (pause)

CLIENT: Just getting things done.

THERAPIST: It's a big deal. You've sort of struggled a lot from having trouble getting to work. (pause) [0:38:01]

CLIENT: I didn't ask Jess. I keep meaning to. How her meeting went with the development pediatrician. There's some problem with the appointment. I don't remember. [0:39:00] (pause for one minute) It's all I got.

THERAPIST: It's all you got?

CLIENT: Yea.

THERAPIST: Is it all just a total blank or...

CLIENT: No. I don't know exactly what I was thinking about a million of things. What am I going to do today work-wise? Still hadn't done laundry. God, I really need to do laundry. I don't know when I'm going to do it, though. I'm not going to the Laundromat on the weekend. I'm just not going to do it, so Monday. (pause) [0:41:01] So I'm not quite there yet. (pause)

THERAPIST: Well, we'll finish up for now.

CLIENT: Sounds like a plan. Did you get your flu shot?

THERAPIST: Nope.

CLIENT: Social contract, you know. I'm not going to shake your hand.

THERAPIST: (chuckling)

CLIENT: [inaudible]

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