TRANSCRIPT OF AUDIO FILE:

BEGIN TRANSCRIPT:

THERAPIST: Other people have mentioned that I can't figure out what else we can do.

CLIENT: About the storm?

THERAPIST: No. About the key to the bathroom.

CLIENT: Why did it change? I thought the 425 was nice except when I had a coffee in my hand. It was hard to open up from the inside.

THERAPIST: The building management did it without asking us so, basically, one day the property manager just showed up with keys and said, "Oh, by the way. We've got a guy changing the locks in the bathrooms. You're going to need these."

CLIENT: A lot of places do keys.

THERAPIST: Yeah. I mean I'm genuinely asking if there's a way...

CLIENT: I just won't go to the bathroom here, as much as I have to go. At the coffee shop they have a big long... the library they've got you know. Everybody uses keys. They're something to grab onto and touch after you've touched yourself. [00:01:22]

THERAPIST: I wonder if there's a reason people get more anxious about it here, that somehow the idea [...] (inaudible at 00:01:26)

CLIENT: I'm not really anxious.

THERAPIST: Think it's gross?

CLIENT: No, just an observation. There's urine everywhere. I was taking Ian skating yesterday and I went to the bathroom and there was a dad helping his son pee at the urinal. They just walked right out without washing. It's not the not washing that bothers me, it's the not getting your kid in the habit of washing.

THERAPIST: Yeah. That's pretty striking to me, too. [00:02:05]

CLIENT: I've tried to stress with Ian to get him into the habit of it.

THERAPIST: Yeah, sure. I mean, it's not good, but it's one thing for grown-ups to skip but it's another thing to walk out with a kid who they're showing a whole bathroom routine to and they don't wash.

CLIENT: Yeah, because, first of all, when you're a guy pee goes everywhere. If you held a flashlight up you would just see urine going in every direction; but it's just a good habit to wash your hands.

THERAPIST: I'm smiling like, "Oh, I should try that." (both chuckle)

CLIENT: Maybe it's just me. I don't know. I've got weird urinary habits anyway. Do you have a snow blower? Do girls like to shovel? If you need anything, give me a call.

THERAPIST: Thanks.

CLIENT: I don't know. I'm going to be stuck over shoveling the house. I don't mind. I did it last storm, but there wasn't a lot of snow. I get Ian to school early in the morning, so maybe it's to my advantage to go over tomorrow night and clear things out. I'll be more out of my mind anyways. I have no food. I have to go shopping while there's food left in the store. [00:03:34]

THERAPIST: [...] (inaudible at 00:03:34)

CLIENT: I'm sure there's plenty of frozen stuff. I'll get some pizzas.

THERAPIST: I wonder if they're even going to have snowboarding. Everything is being canceled.

CLIENT: Sunday morning I think the mountain is going to be in great shape, as long as the wind is not crazy.

THERAPIST: As long as the roads are okay by then.

CLIENT: By Sunday morning they'll be fine. They're ready for this storm; they're over-ready. [00:03:59]

THERAPIST: I think it's supposed to keep snowing through Sunday.

CLIENT: Yeah, but it's supposed to taper off. The heavy stuff is supposed to stop around 4:00 Saturday. Give it a couple of hours either way and they'll have all night to clear the roads. I was up at 2:00 last night watching American Dad and they were showing school closings. Like what fucking school is open today? It's 2:00 AM. Who's up watching for school closings? And the only reason I was up at 2:00 AM is because I'm friends with teachers who don't have to go to school today, so they decided to have a game night. I'm at a closing and they texted me, ["When can we leave?"] (ph?) I feel bad. I showed up at a closing and they forgot I was coming. [00:04:53]

THERAPIST: Right. You had closings yesterday and today. How did they forget you were coming?

CLIENT: They have kids and a baby; an older kid and a brand-new baby.

THERAPIST: They forgot about the closing all together or they just forgot you were coming?

CLIENT: They forgot I was showing up. She was like, "I remembered at like 3:00 and then I forgot at 3:01." I knocked on the door and I didn't ring the door the doorbell apparently was broken, but I didn't want to wake the kids, so I knocked on the door and I scared the shit out of them. [00:05:33]

THERAPIST: Did it go all right?

CLIENT: Yeah. It went fine. It just took a little while because you've got to run I said, "We can wait until you put the kids to bed. I'd rather do that than have it all messy with you guys," but they kept having to go upstairs. The oldest would be like, "The baby's crying." I think one of them had a cold. It did take a little while. I was a little late and it took them a little longer, but they're usually willing to just sign anything you put in front of them when they have kids. You know how that is. You'll do anything just to... [00:06:15]

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: Oh, you're overcharging me $50 at target? No big deal. I've just got to get to the car. (chuckles) It was a good trip. Ian had a ball.

THERAPIST: That's terrific.

CLIENT: Of course, by Monday I couldn't take my mom and stepdad. It gets to me. I can't really remember what they were doing. My stepdad is arguing with Ian about how much bagel he ate the morning before, the bites he took out of his bagel. He was like, "I sat there and watched him and he only took a bite." I'm like, "I sat there and he ate three bites and I ate the rest." It's just stuff like that. I've got this problem where my ear is kind of sore and I get this tingling feeling inside my ear. Ian did it to me, the little bastard. I don't know if you've ever played this game, but it's the game where you see who can punch the softest. You know that game? [00:07:30]

THERAPIST: (chuckles) I think I played it as a kid.

CLIENT: I was like, "Ian, you go first." I just went (oomph), right into the shoulder and he starts crying.

THERAPIST: You hit him hard enough that he started crying? (laughing) What were you thinking about? I guess the point of the game...

CLIENT: I didn't think I hit him that hard, but he's all skin and bones. So I'm like, "Buddy, just go ahead and smack me in the head," so he hits me in the head. [00:08:02]

THERAPIST: Oh, good, that's a good idea, because then it will be even. (laughs) You'll both be hurt.

CLIENT: Yeah, so I'm like, "C'mon, buddy. You can hit harder than that," so he hits me again. So about the fourth time, he smacks me right on the ear. I think he did some damage. I deserved it, though.

THERAPIST: No you didn't. How does that help anything?

CLIENT: He stopped crying. It bothers me when he cries and it's my fault.

THERAPIST: Sure, I understand that you feel guilty and I understand that by slugging you in the head he made you feel not as guilty (chuckles); but, you know, there might be other ways to do that.

CLIENT: It will be a great memory he'll have. He'll hopefully do the same thing to his kids. He probably did it yesterday in school, I'm sure, to one of his classmates. We'll be hearing from the principal soon. He had a blast playing with his cousin. My uncle owns a plane, a half-million-dollar prop plane that does about 100 miles per hour. He wanted to take Ian up for a whirl. [00:09:19]

THERAPIST: How cool. How old is his kid, Ian's cousin?

CLIENT: There's the oldest, who's a senior in high school; and she's 17. Then one is 15 and the youngest is like 12. They're great kids. The parents are all lunatics and they turned out pretty good. They're all over-achievers. They're really good gymnasts and the youngest is an amazing piano player. She was adopted from Mongolia and she's very smart. I have a hunch that she's older than they say she is. That's always been my take. But still, even adding on a year to this girl, she's brilliant and very smart. Her dad kind of pushes her a lot so they butt heads; but I don't get involved in family. [00:10:19]

THERAPIST: Right. So he was going to take Ian in the plane.

CLIENT: So we were going to go up in the plane and Ian calls Jess. I kind of knew that we should disclose this fact. Something in my gut, you know. I'm like, "Buddy, tell her you're going up in the plane." So he tells her he's going up in the plane and she's like, "No, you're not." We get into this big fight. Literally, I'm still lying in bed fighting with her saying, "He's been flying for decades. He's an instructor. It's safer than a car." She just was being very stubborn and I ended up hanging up on her. My aunt said to just take him out there and drive around the airport. It turned out it was too foggy to go flying anyway, but we got in the plane and just drove around the runway; and, of course, he's holding the controls, but my uncle was steering with his feet so he thought he was steering the plane. You ask him what the best moment of the trip was and that was it. [00:11:30]

THERAPIST: That's terrific.

CLIENT: He had a ball with that. It's funny, my uncle sent me an article because we went on the cable car. He was a little afraid sitting on the outside so we sat on the inside on the way back. My uncle sent me an article about how a cable car accident injured seven people. I didn't forward it to Jess. But she did text me when I told her that we were just going to drive around the runway, thanking me for understanding her position or whatever; and that I'm right about cars and she's going to try and drive the kid's bus. That was not my point.

THERAPIST: I understand.

CLIENT: I stole my mom's phone and texted my brother that Cameron's my favorite. He replied, "Whatever." My cousin texted him, "I can't believe your mom just said Cameron's the favorite." Everybody was kind of pissed off about the comment. But grandma was very glad to see Ian and me and was really appreciative. My mom was really appreciative.

THERAPIST: That's great.

CLIENT: My aunt and uncle love seeing Ian. They really do. I just wish we could go out there more. Mostly uneventful otherwise. [00:13:13] I think the Aterol kind of helped me adjust to the time because it got me controlled when I was out there. Ian, the first time we got there it was 5:00 pm and he fell asleep in the restaurant. By the next night he was up at like 9:00, which is like midnight for him, watching TV. He seemed to adjust very well. I'm sure he was tired on Wednesday. I was still jet-lagged and I didn't want to walk around. I was dragging. I was never really anxious or anything on the trip. I had minimal anxiety. Nothing really crazy. The same kind of stuff, like I'm doubting myself. [00:14:15] I'm driving to the closing and I'm like, "Am I in the right town? Do I have the right address? Is it tonight? Is it 7:30?" I seem to do that on appointments, you know? With this lender I'm less worried about fucking up because we have to scan three documents and I send everything after funding, so I'll at least get the money first and then can fix it at the end.

THERAPIST: That's the closing today?

CLIENT: Yeah. The bank and the one last night. I'll have the money for Ian's summer camp.

THERAPIST: Good.

CLIENT: Nothing for you. Thanks for ruining my vacation, by the way.

THERAPIST: Happy to do it.

CLIENT: I was going to send back some snarky remark, but it actually didn't bother me. [00:15:17]

THERAPIST: I'll try harder next time. (both chuckle)

CLIENT: The meds must be working. It was kind of good to find out that everybody on my family on that side has some mental issues. I'm finding out that the more people I tell, the more "Oh, yeah. I go to therapy." "Oh, yeah. I'm on..." which is sort of comforting. I think initially I didn't want to tell anybody. (pause) I'm just like, "Oh, well. It is what it is." I've been doing that a little bit more. I was a little frustrated in the car driving around yesterday; just horrible drivers driving too slow. Whatever. Micah canceled my 4:00 appointment today. Thank God. Can you imagine how long it would take me at 4:00 more like 5:00 when I leave there, 4:30, whatever to drive from there? It would take two hours. With snow and people would be like... It's bad enough at that time when there's no snow. [00:16:42]

THERAPIST: (chuckles) It might be quicker today.

CLIENT: I'm just hoping I can find a parking spot when I get back from my closing.

THERAPIST: How far is your closing?

CLIENT: Originally we were going to meet at the office, but he may come into town. I don't know. He may do it. It was supposed to be at noon, but we may try and move it up if we can. [I said I'd pronounce docs,] (ph?) then I can hunker down. I've got a little bit of work to do. The thing is I'm kind of coming to an end of my pipeline. Just a couple of closings here and there, so I guess I'm kind of waiting for that spring market to see how that goes, which is a little anxiety producing. It's like I can't even enjoy making money, you know? I haven't gotten any checks from Blue Cross. [00:18:05]

THERAPIST: Yeah, they haven't paid out any [...] (inaudible at 00:18:10) to anybody. Even those people who are in network haven't gotten paid. They just actually announced their 2013 rates last week.

CLIENT: They're not going up as much as last year.

THERAPIST: I mean reimbursement rates.

CLIENT: Yeah, they also announced their premiums.

THERAPIST: Oh, I see. For 2013.

CLIENT: For this renewal quarter, which is April, May and June. I'm June. Did they go up or down?

THERAPIST: I think they went down a couple of bucks. [00:18:38]

CLIENT: So I'm not going to get $45. I'll get less than that.

THERAPIST: What's your co-pay?

CLIENT: My co-pay is like $25.

THERAPIST: All right. You'll get like I think the new rate is about $88; it could be $87. $88 or $87 minus $25; $63.

CLIENT: Oh, not bad. Once I know I can figure out how much I owe you. Not like I'm going to pay you, but I can figure out how much I owe you.

THERAPIST: That would be good to know. I've been submitting the claims every week so as soon as they actually do start paying out, they should start paying out those claims.

CLIENT: They'll probably send a bunch of those.

THERAPIST: Yeah. I would guess in the next couple of weeks. [00:19:32]

CLIENT: The E&G group is in trouble again. We just lost the auto-body lady, who was the most attractive woman in the group. She's like in her early 40's and you wouldn't tell. She's like a marathon runner. The chiropractor is leaving as well. We are getting a guy joining the group, but we're still at the point where they may come in and either close the chapter or re-kick-off the chapter. We've got until like May to get our act together. I actually thought about myself trying to get visitors in there, which I never do. I was a little worried about that yesterday. It's brief; it's fleeting. I think about it and then I'm like, "Well, there's nothing I can do about it at the moment." (pause) [00:20:48] I've been put on the membership committee because, the auto-body lady, was in that. "Cameron do you want to do membership?" I'm like, "No." "Good. You're on it." I got this small claims hearing at the end of the month for a security deposit. I looked up the lawyer and went on his website because he's got everything on there, including all the [inaudible] he's taken. If he did landlord/tenant, I'm sure it would say on his website and it doesn't. One of the things you need to do when you return someone's security deposit and you keep money is you need to give a list of damages, include receipts, and sign under the pains and penalties of perjury; and they didn't sign under the pains and penalties of perjury, which entitles you to your entire deposit back. [00:21:51]

THERAPIST: I see. So that means if a landlord keeps the security deposit they have to say, "Yeah, we kept it because they broke the door and put a dent in the wall and here are the receipts to show that we got it fixed and I'm attesting."

CLIENT: Right. He calls it a technical violation. I tried to explain to him that there's no such thing as a technical violation when it comes to security deposits. It's strictly construed. Then he goes ahead and files an answer and a counter-claim. The policy is that they want people to be able to sue their landlord for the security deposit and not go into protracted litigation and not be scared off by litigation techniques, so you can't counter-claim. This guy files counter-claim which you can't do. If he did landlord/tenant he wouldn't have taken the time to bill his client. That will be nice when he's there right in front of his client and got schooling in front of the judge. Then there are the other things he ignores, like they didn't keep the deposit in a state bank and never told the account number. These are all treble damages and attorney's fees by themselves. He thinks because the tenancy ended, which he claims ended wrongly but they followed the lease, that somehow entitles them to not follow the it cures all their security deposits. They look at the security deposit as something completely separate than everything else. You've got to treat it like it's their money, you've got to shield it from creditors, you've got to take these steps. There's no way around it. A cure is when you make the demand, you get it back. So when they made the demand for the security deposit and interest which they never picked up the certified letter that's when you give it back and that's how you cure. That's how you avoid treble damages and attorney's fees. It should be a slam-dunk. [00:24:01]

THERAPIST: Great. When is it?

CLIENT: We asked for a continuance until the 28th. I meet with my client on Tuesday and we'll have fun. I've just got to figure out whether it's worth me writing a memorandum for the magistrate with the case law and the citations and all of that. I've got a bench memo from the housing court judge, which focuses more on eviction; but it does have some summary process stuff and some cases. Then I've got a tenant handbook that's like that thick. All the work's been done for me, you know? So I've got that going on. (pause) [00:25:09] I was introduced to a mortgage company up in that area and we originally connected and she was like, "You know, the Holidays are coming up and I want to talk after the Holidays." I sent her an e-mail and I never heard back. That was in January. Maybe today I'll try and follow up with her. My understanding was that she doesn't have a go-to attorney for this state. Then I've got to go. I'm a Commissioner of Deeds there and I've got to get a new commission. It expired and you've got to go get sworn in in front of a judge. To be a notary public in the state, you go to the secretary of state's office and there's a line and you put your hand on the book and sign it and you're a notary. It's kind of a pain in the ass because you've got to go and find a judge that has the time to swear you in. I think there's a district court there. I'll try calling them and see what it takes to do it. I've just got to do it and get it out of the way, not that I have problems with stuff like that. [00:26:27]

THERAPIST: Nothing very recently.

CLIENT: (pause) Today is Ian's birthday. At least he gets to skip school.

THERAPIST: That's cool.

CLIENT: Tonight was supposed to be the pack meeting for the weigh-in for the Derby. Tomorrow is supposed to be the Derby. Pussies canceled it. Fucking Cub Scouts. It's like snow I don't know what they're teaching these kids.

THERAPIST: They probably have some shoveling/snow blowing badge or something they can be earning. [00:27:21]

CLIENT: I'm sure they do. We went on a little hike. I want to see if we can get him a little hiking badge. I kind of knew the storm was coming so we didn't finish the car. Now we have plenty of time and can do good stuff and do a good job of it. I've got another month. I have no skills whatever. He likes it. He thinks he should win coolest car.

THERAPIST: That's what matters to him.

CLIENT: Which I'm like, "I hope he wins some trophy," because if he isn't getting anything, I'm going to be a little upset. Jess and I are getting him a skateboard.

THERAPIST: I guess I'm surprised that Jess is going in on a skateboard, in that... okay.

CLIENT: Nothing to do with [...]. (inaudible at 00:28:27) At his age, he's got good balance and is low to the ground. He has elbow pads, knee pads, and a helmet.

THERAPIST: Right. He's not going to be trying to go down stairs or something.

CLIENT: He's going to go to the store and pick out his wheels and see all the cool skating stuff.

THERAPIST: That's cool. Is Lucille's birthday coming up, too? [00:29:02]

CLIENT: A couple of weeks. She pee-pee'ed on the potty.

THERAPIST: Wow. Rock on, Lucille.

CLIENT: Jess got an iPhone so we were doing face time. Even grandma and everybody else can see Lucille. Lucille wanted to show me that she could pee-pee on the potty, so she goes and she sits on the potty. She takes a piece of toilet paper and she wipes herself. She turns around and she picks up the thing to dump it and Jess's like, "There's no pee in there." (both chuckle) She just wanted to do the routine, you know? Soon, soon. It was funny. I picked her up and I was like, "You want to come home with dad?" And she was like, "Yeah." I actually had her all the way out the door. I was waiting for her to say, "No, no, no." Finally I was like, "Awww. I don't have a car seat for you." She was like, "No car seat." I go, "We need a car seat to come over to dad's. Soon." [00:30:02]

THERAPIST: That's very sweet.

CLIENT: When I went in the first time she just came running. "Daddy, daddy, daddy."

CLIENT: That's great. (pause) [00:30:56] I'm supposed to have a closing today that just got cleared to close yesterday. It has to close today because the appraisal is expiring and the guy is doing all this construction so a new appraisal would not work. I don't even have documents yet. I'm not driving there at 4:00, so we're signing on Sunday; but today is the date. I don't like to do it, but every so often it has to be done; as long as everybody is on the same page. No one cares and until they care it's like... Everybody wants the loan to go through so there's no reason to... [00:31:51]

THERAPIST: Yeah. It's like nobody wins if it doesn't.

CLIENT: Yeah. It's a truth in lending violation because he's technically not getting his full he's missing Saturday as a rescission day, but at 3 point or whatever, who's going to rescind? You used to be able to waive the rescission period by showing some sort of emergency foreclosure, bankruptcy...

THERAPIST: Snowstorm?

CLIENT:... blizzard. You would think that with the blizzard they would say, "Oh, yeah. We'll just let you close on Monday." That's not a good enough excuse. A lot of lenders move things up, like the local banks, but this one doesn't give a shit. (pause) You have big plans for Valentine's Day?

THERAPIST: Do I have big plans for Valentine's Day?

CLIENT: [...] (inaudible at 00:33:16) You did, didn't you?

THERAPIST: (laughs)

CLIENT: At first I thought I had nothing to do, but then I realized that there's a concert at the that I'm going to alone. Happy Valentine's Day.

THERAPIST: Hopefully it's not that kind of concert.

CLIENT: What kind of concert?

THERAPIST: Blues. No one should be there alone. It would not be a very nice tone.

CLIENT: Oh, yeah. I would imagine there will be couples and a lot of people are going to be... The band is Big Head Todd and the Monsters. You've heard of them? They were big when we were in college. I really like them. I'm always kind of surprised how all these bands got really popular. They never really you know. They do fine but...

THERAPIST: Right. They never really quite made it. [00:34:24]

CLIENT: I think it is because it's blues-based music. Todd Park Mohr, Big Head Todd, is like a blues aficionado. He did a solo tour of these old blues tours. He wrote a couple. He always puts stuff up on Facebook doing old blues tunes when someone dies. He's met all these old blues people.

THERAPIST: That's cool.

CLIENT: What's her name? Something-Minnie. Some argue that she was the first blues guitar player and she has one of her guitars.

THERAPIST: Wow. [00:35:05]

CLIENT: Memphis Minnie or something like that. (pause) My brother did I tell you about his girlfriend friended me on Facebook?

THERAPIST: Yeah, you were joking with her about him and he did not appreciate it.

CLIENT: They're moving in together. I told grandma she has 9 great-grandchildren and she's 90. Ian pointed out to her, "At age 100, maybe you'll have ten." She has very funny posts all the time. He just whatever. (pause) [00:36:41] It was a little disconcerting that everybody out there is like over-achievers. Both my cousins are engineers and want to go into the family business. It's worth millions.

THERAPIST: Is that the one who has the plane?

CLIENT: His son, his oldest. He and his wife own a marketing company. They make if you want to put your logo on anything and they do pretty well. The oldest daughter does very well in school and is going to go to a good college in architect. His daughter is a level-ten gymnast. The only higher level is level-ten expert, so she's like Olympic potential. [00:37:38]

THERAPIST: She's really athletic, yeah. Is it the Mongolian girl?

CLIENT: No, the Mongolian girl is younger. She's 12. The last time we were there she was doing a little bit of gymnastics but I see the stuff on Facebook. They're pretty good. My uncle is a millionaire several times over. He talks about housing the 1 percent, but he complains about the 1/10th percent. He's a pretty liberal guy for that city.

THERAPIST: It was a little tough to take some of that?

CLIENT: I think my grandma kind of judges us a little bit. She admitted she was a bad grandma. I didn't like her when I was a kid. [00:38:45]

THERAPIST: Why?

CLIENT: She was mean to me.

THERAPIST: What did she do?

CLIENT: I don't remember specifically. They always used to pick on me because I was the youngest.

THERAPIST: Really? I didn't know that. Like all the cousins?

CLIENT: Yeah. And my brother.

THERAPIST: That's not good.

CLIENT: My step-cousin, would hang out together. He's now the black sheep of the family because he posts all this political, non-stop rambling gun rights and Republican. Everybody in the family has taken him off their [feed]. His kids apparently destroyed my grandmother's apartment the last time they were out there. I think they weren't even going to invite him, but they invited him at the last moment and he didn't go. She kind of just came up out of nowhere and said, "I was a bad grandma." I was a bad kid, though. I'm sure some of it was deserved. [00:39:57]

THERAPIST: How were you a bad kid?

CLIENT: I just didn't listen, mouthed off, instigated, pushed people's buttons. I know you find that shocking and hard to believe that I would push people's buttons but...

THERAPIST: No, not really; but I don't quite see you as I wasn't there but it's a little bit hard for me to imagine you as a bad kid. A kid who wisecracked, was sarcastic, gave people a little bit of shit sure. But, I don't know, at least with me, anyway, I think you're well-meant. You like to sort of fuck around with me, but you don't really seem that malicious most of the time or like you're really trying to get to somebody, get to them, you know? Usually, at least in here, I think it's when you're feeling kind of anxious. I guess if I think about it, part of where I'm going is to say that... [00:41:26]

CLIENT: I was a hyper child.

THERAPIST: I think you have this sort of go-to thing of having been a bad kid or a fuck-up.

CLIENT: I always was bothering my brother. "Get out of my room. Don't breathe in my room." (blows) I would kind of [stow away] (ph?) and blow in his room.

THERAPIST: You were a bad kid to be doing that to your brother. I don't know how many good kids...

CLIENT: I used to set him up, too, apparently. They figured it out one day when a lamp was broken and Curt was not home and could not have possibly broken the lamp.

THERAPIST: (chuckles) Right. You're alibi.

CLIENT: He took the blame for it because he was used to getting blamed for everything. My parents are like, "But, Curt, there's no way you could have broken that lamp." Then aha. Little devil.

THERAPIST: We need to stop for now.

CLIENT: Good luck with your [legs.] (ph?)

THERAPIST: Thank you. Take care, too.

CLIENT: Drink water.

END TRANSCRIPT