Client "J", Session March 29, 2013: Client is upset about the current trajectory of his separation as it is hindering his dating chances. Client is stressed about money and paying his bills. trial

in Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy Collection by Anonymous Male Therapist; presented by Anonymous (Alexandria, VA: Alexander Street, 2014, originally published 2014), 1 page(s)

TRANSCRIPT OF AUDIO FILE:

___________________________________________________________________________ BEGIN TRANSCRIPT:

CLIENT: Can I at least admonish you for not putting the correct codes with the Blue Cross?

THERAPIST: What happened?

CLIENT: I got a letter...

THERAPIST: (inaudible at 00:00:19)

CLIENT: ...from them saying that my...

THERAPIST: Oh.

CLIENT: ...therapist is a... (SIGH) I was expecting there to be a check at the bottom but it said it was from early February.

THERAPIST: Huh.

CLIENT: Beginning of February.

THERAPIST: Alright.

CLIENT: So you probably just accidentally used the old codes.

THERAPIST: That's strange. Okay.

CLIENT: They say they're going to notify you. So...

THERAPIST: Yeah. They probably did. I probably just haven't...

CLIENT: So what were you going to do?

THERAPIST: Um...

CLIENT: Do we have to schedule (inaudible at 00:00:49)?

THERAPIT: Let's see. I'm not really able all the time I was late today and we'll have to do the rest of it on Tuesday. [00:01:01]

CLIENT: That's great because I'm a fucking wreck.

(PAUSE)

THERAPIST: Well let's talk about that.

CLIENT: I don't even know where to begin.

THERAPIST: Let me know if it gets sunny over there.

CLIENT: Yeah. Might as well just let them down now. So you know how I've been struggling with this whole separation thing, right? You know, how my online profile...

THERAPIST: Yeah, that I know.

CLIENT: Well on Tuesday Olivia has a couple of messages about, you know, being divorced or whatever and I kind of just ignore them. And I had given her my cell phone number so I, you know, know that she's googling me and... You know? [00:01:55]

And then I get this, you know, after a pretty pleasant message, I get this, you know, "Oh, one more thing." Kind of like Columbo (ph)? You ever see Columbo? At the end of the episode, he turns to the murderer and says, "Oh, I just have one more question."

THERAPIST: Oh.

CLIENT: And that's when he zaps them. You know? So I just saw... That's the only thing that showed up in the e-mail and I was just like, "Oh fuck." And of course it's like, you know, "Are you divorced, separated, or never been married?" And she put in there she's done the separated thing, she's been burned, and it's an emotional risk she's not willing to take. So I write a five thousand word, five thousand character message, you know, spilling the truth and... You know? Whatever. [00:02:55]

And so she writes me back, you know, "Thanks for telling the truth. I knew you were separated. You have a lot of character." But what she focused on...

THERAPIST: Five thousand?

CLIENT: Yeah. (LAUGHTER) What she focused on was the omission of not putting it in my profile.

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: She specifically which I don't know how you could do it but apparently in her searches she excludes...

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: ...people that have married or separated in their profile. So, you know, a couple messages, you know, back and forth or whatever. She gives me her e-mail address and, you know, says, you know, "When you're divorced, send me an e-mail." But it turns out to be her special online stalker e-mail. You know? She's very, you know, much like the woman with no name, you know, very close, holds her cards very close. You know? [00:03:55]

So I think she's had issues in the past. So, you know, the first thing that comes to my mind is, you know, the way I was rejected by Barbara and, you know, "Your complex divorce, your messy divorce."

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: They keep using the word "messy." You know? And so I start getting upset. I'm like, you know, "Here's just another way Jess's (ph) fucking me." You know? And the more I think about it I'm just like, you know, "You shouldn't be blaming Jess. You should be blaming yourself." You know, you're coming up with every excuse in the world not to push forward with the divorce. You know?

THERAPIST: Hmm.

CLIENT: And, you know, "What the fuck are you doing?" And so I texted Jess, "I want to move forward with the divorce." (LAUGHTER) [00:04:59]

And so that upsets me. You know? And I had already kind of been a little... I don't know. Just a lot of things were just going through my mind. I got really upset and, you know, was tearing up and I just, you know, I sent you a text. I don't know if you got it or not and, you know, I started drinking and, you know, posted something on Facebook, you know, that I was having, you know, emotional tough time. All my cousins on the west coast are like, "What's going on? What's going on? What's going on?" So I'm like, you know, "Fuck it. What can I do?" So I message no name and said, "Hey." You know? She had asked if I was available Saturday night and originally I said, you know, I was supposed to take Ian to the game. And I'm like, "Yeah, I'm available Tuesday." She's going to a concert. [00:05:59]

And I went on YouTube to listen to the music just to say, "Oh, I listened to it." But she wanted to meet up beforehand for drinks. And I'm like, "You know, it's kind of tight to go to the game, come back and meet up for drinks but, you know, if I have to cancel the game, whatever." You know? That was the state of mind I was in. And then this other woman who... And I disclosed though she saw my profile that when it said separated. I said, "You know, I'm separated and, you know, we're moving forward with the divorce or whatever." And then there was this other woman who I message and her return message was, "Let's get together for drinks." You know? Whatever. So I messaged her and I put in there, you know, "I'm separated but I'm moving forward with the divorce." I haven't heard back from her. In fact, she checked my profile in the morning and then I haven't heard back from her. So, you know, ultimately I just, you know, I was just drained and I went to bed. [00:06:59]

I wake up in the morning and there's a message from Olivia. I'm like... (LAUGHTER) You know? The last thing I expected in the world. And apparently she's got a really good friend, this guy that she considers her brother, whatever. And he... I can't remember the word she used so I'm going to use the word admonished her saying, you know... Obviously she's been, you know, either talking about me or...

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: You know? Saying, you know, "This is the first nice guy you've met online and now you're just being too rigid." You know? And then she has a friend who dated a guy who was separated and got married and she admonished her as well. [00:07:57]

So it's not like all is forgiven but, you know, she's willing to, you know, see what happens and, you know... I try, you know... You know, you think that women like nice things said about them so, you know, every once and awhile I would say something nice about her, flatter her, whatever. You know? And, you know, things seemed to be back like they were before. You know? She actually started texting. You know? She's like, "Let's stop using this silly online dating thing." Which kind of sucks because now she can see when I go online.

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: Because I'm obviously not going on to message her.

THERAPIST: Because you're not sending her... Yeah.

CLIENT: But I was like, you know, "Hey." You know? That seems like an upgrade to me. You know? And then yesterday I picked up Ian from school and, you know, I forgot (inaudible at 00:09:01). [00:09:01]

I went to work and he was just, you know, went home, just question after question after question after question. And I was handling it fine. You know, I was really interested in explaining everything to him.

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: You know? And he was asking questions about mailing... You know, we went to the post office. Mailing flammable stuff. You know, just... And, you know, we were talking about, you know, lost reserves at banks for, you know, fraud. And so everything... You know, it didn't seem to be bothering me and it just all of the sudden when I was bringing him home. We literally were right in front of the market basket and he asked me a question... Well right before that the song comes on and the line is "He takes off her dress now."

THERAPIST: Oh The Killers.

CLIENT: Yeah. So one of my favorite songs Mr. Brightside. So he says to me, "Did he say "she takes off her dress" or "he takes off her dress?"

THERAPIST: (LAUGHTER) [00:10:05]

CLIENT: And then I was like, "Well, I'm not going to lie to the kid..."

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: "...because he's going to hear the song again probably." I'm like, "He said, 'he takes off her dress.'" And he's kind of... I can tell his...

THERAPIST: His wheels are turning?

CLIENT: Yeah. So, you know, he kind of asked me what that meant and I was like, you know... I really don't understand what the song means but to me the song's about jealousy, you know, and that he's concocted in his mind that either this woman he likes or this woman he's dating is seeing another man and he's jealous about it but ultimately he's looking on the bright side of it or whatever or sarcastically. You know?

THERAPIST: Right. [00:10:59]

CLIENT: And so, "What's jealousy?" And so we're, you know, we're still doing fine and then just we get in front of the market basket and he asked me a question and I just snapped. I snapped at him. I caught myself and, you know, brought my tone back down and continued to answer the question and actually started just trying to keep talking to him in a calm voice and we get home and Jess had just pulled in with Lucille and it's starting to rain out and I'm standing there and it's raining and he's like taking forever to get out of the car. "Just get out of the fucking car." You know? I didn't say it but, "Come on. Let's go! Let's go!" And, you know, then Jess and Lucille are moving slowly and it's just like, "I just want to get out of the fucking rain." You know? And we go inside and the woman who is going to be renting... Oh, I didn't tell you. Jess is moving.

THERAPIST: Oh. [00:11:55]

CLIENT: Which was a good thing and that's kind of how this whole separation thing came apart (inaudible at 00:12:07) Olivia that the kids are moving closer to me and that I didn't want to say specifically but it's taking care of something that, you know, is a major issue that's going to help me move forward, which means Jess's finally agreed to sell the house. Which I, you know, I said, "All along I knew you weren't going to be able to cut it." You know?

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: But they're moving literally right outside of...

THERAPIST: Oh really?

CLIENT: ...on the Plymouth (ph) line. So...

THERAPIST: Oh, that's great.

CLIENT: Yeah. You know, real close.

THERAPIST: Easier to see your kids.

CLIENT: I could walk over there.

THERAPIST: Yeah (inaudible at 00:12:35)

CLIENT: More importantly they can walk to me. You know? I mean... So that's kind of how the things got started with Olivia, you know, that conversation. So... Well the woman who...

THERAPIST: And they'll be on the Plymouth side so Ian can keep going to the same school.

CLIENT: Right. That... Jess was talking about moving him to (inaudible) which is, you know, right across the street practically. And, you know, she's like, "But I want to talk to Ian." [00:13:05]

And I said, "Listen. Don't talk to Ian. Tell him he's going to Argenziano (ph). He's got friend there. There are parents who can help with pickup and drop off." Now there's not a lot of kids in his grade but there's kids there who are younger than him, older than him. You know? It just... "Why do you need his fucking opinion?" You know, this is what pisses me off about her. You know? So that's that. You know? Hopefully she makes the right decision and sends him to Argenziano. So anyway, so we go back inside and the woman who is renting the house to Jess, they went and looked at the house when she was there and...

THERAPIST: Renting the house to Jess not...

CLIENT: Right.

THERAPIST: Okay.

CLIENT: Yeah. They moved up to Portland. Their daughter was Ian's like best friend at Agacy. You know? [00:13:53]

So, you know, I go and, you know, I go upstairs and hang out for a while. I go and I pick up Lucille, you know, and after two seconds she's like, "Momma, momma, momma." And she clearly just wants nothing to do with me and I'm like, "You know, I can't handle this." I'm like, "Hey, I'm leaving." I just left. So, you know, I go home and I'm, you know, doing all this shit and, you know, I've been texting with Olivia all day long and I guess I had said some things that probably were too, you know... She said basically that I need to tone it down, that she agrees with the compliments, that they're true, but that, you know, she's making her be cautious in that they're giving red flags and there's still the whole separation thing. [00:14:57]

I knew initially the problem was really the omission was what pissed her off but now I'm like, "Is it the omission that she's still upset about or is it just the fact that I'm separated." And I was kind of getting pissed off at her because, you know, we keep saying, "Oh, I'm going to call you." Then she never calls me. You know? Then she finally... I was like, "Oh, am I going to hear from you today?" And she was like, "Oh, I..." You know, she's one of these people who's just constantly has it booked to doing stuff. She was like, "Oh, I'm going to my cousins for dinner, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah." And but she even, you know... I think she kind of realized because she texted back after a few minutes that, you know, she's not trying to be evasive and then she explained how she's just...

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: You know?

THERAPIST: Kind of like that.

CLIENT: And (inaudible at 00:15:47) but threw in there that when she's dating someone she, you know, makes time for them obviously. So I was like, "Alright. Whatever." And then I started remembering how she answered one of the questions where, you know, she wanted to... You know, "How quickly would you meet with someone?" She had put three weeks. [00:16:05]

So, you know, I figured... I don't know if she's being dishonest but that's kind of what she wants to do. You know? She just wants to wait. And she wanted to call me tonight and I was like, "Tonight I'm going to... I go to these brew offs and a couple of the brewers they get together and they do research where everybody brings a different... You know, we're going (inaudible) everybody brings a different type of IPA (ph) and we taste it. We talk about it. You know, how it goes with food and..." So I was explaining that to her and I said, "But, you know, I can... You know, when I get home I can call you and, you know, we can just talk all night on the phone." You know? Which I think was one of the things that I shouldn't have said. [00:16:55]

And she's like, "Okay. Just, you know, don't call me if you're utterly trashed," I think is the word she used or whatever. I was like, "Well, you know, I'm going to bike there and I'm going to bike home so I'm going to behave." Which isn't true but, you know, I still don't know her view on alcohol. You know? And so, you know, I'm like, "Whatever." I don't even know where I'm going but one of the things she had said. She's, you know, was, "Go have a whisky and go to bed." I was like, "How does she..." And she said, "A sambuca (ph)." So I'm like, "Cool." You know? She actually doesn't have a negative view of alcohol and I was really freaked out a little bit by the fact that she said, "Have a whiskey," because I actually was having a whiskey. [00:18:01]

And I'm like, "How did you, you know, know I drink whiskey?" And she's like, "I'm good at reading people." Whatever. And then I read a... You know, I invited her to this concert and that might have freaked her out and then I did the whole flattery thing. Whatever. You know? And so there's that. That's been, you know, driving me fucking crazy because now I'm just... You know, and I've already told, you know, she who has no name, you know, that...

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: You know, at first I was like, "Oh..." You know, because Olivia had started talking to me again so I was like, "Do I really want to go see this woman?" Then I'm like, you know, "Why the fuck not?" You know? It's not like she's really done something horrible to me. You know, I... Who knows what this woman is or who she could be. You know? I mean, why cut off my nose to spite my face. [00:18:57]

So she had proposed, you know, getting together on the twelve or the thirteenth and I just said, you know, "Let's get together on one of those days." You know? So... (PAUSE) And when you log in on the app it gives you like activity since I have Olivia saved as a favorite I think her activity comes up to the top and she added to her profile, "If you're married or separated don't bother messaging me." And then she added at the top she put in, "Fiery," and in describing herself. It's like, "You're Greek. Like you really have to tell people you're fiery." So that's been, you know, whatever and then going back to the whole divorce thing. You know? Jess is... You know, I feel... I think part of the divorce thing was, you know, it's just like this sense of failure, you know, that just... Here's one more thing in my life that didn't work out. [00:20:01]

You know, and this just basically defines it and... (PAUSE) But, you know, she's talking about health insurance and I was saying, you know, "I, you know... What do we do about estimated taxes?" And I'm like, "Well the law is for health insurance that, you know, they can't... You know, if you're in group insurance they can't drop a spouse until you remarry." And she's like, "But we're not in group insurance." I'm like, "We are in group insurance. We're through the chamber." You know? And she was like, "What about estimated taxes?" So I called the CPA.

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: And she calls me back and she's like, "Well, you should pay sixty five percent. She should pay whatever the difference, thirty seven... You know? And I'll send you different vouchers. Send them in separately." You know, I guess if you get divorced before October, you can't file married.

THERAPIST: I see. [00:20:59]

CLIENT: So then she's like, wants me to get a letter from the CPA because she wants to apply for food stamps and wants a letter from the CPA explaining, you know, how, the percentage thing. And I texted her or e-mailed her back. I'm like, you know, "It's on your fucking schedule C. Show them your tax forms. That's how much... That's what they're going to want to see. That shows..." You know? It's just one more financial thing she doesn't understand. So I'm just like, you know, "Maybe this was the reason I didn't want to go through the divorce is all these little fucking, you know, little things that just are going to add up, you know, just to drive me crazy." And so that's fucking... You know? Just has me all... At least I... an accountant is joining our group that does family law. I said, "I need to hire you." (LAUGHTER) [00:21:59]

So... But she needs to hire me for one of her clients too so it will all work out. Then I started noticing all these posts online that is was Passover. I'm like, "Is March Passover?" And the thing that really struck me was that Tracy (ph) who, you know, for the last four or five years has invited me over for Passover... I mean, she... We went to Thanksgiving together. I just had dinner with her son two or three weeks ago. And it was funny because initially... The food's not that good. But initially Jess wanted to go and I wouldn't want to go and we must begrudgingly went. But... You know, I started looking forward to it. So then I'm like, "Well, what the fuck?" You know? What's going on with that? You know, I'm playing Words with Friends and I don't want to bring it up and I just... You know, I... So that's, you know, that's been driving me nuts and (SIGH) there's other things. I should have written this all down. [00:23:03]

But I'm just... You know, I woke up this morning and I was just like... And I read the thing from Olivia and, you know, she was kind of like, you know... You know, at the end of it she was like, "Shake hands," or whatever. I was like, "Sure thing," or whatever. You know? And then I said, you know, "Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt. You know, most women would, you know, wouldn't have done that." Then she just texted me, "Well, I'm not one of those woman," with a little (inaudible at 00:23:31) face. But I'm just sitting there, you know, like I'm sitting on the floor and I'm tearing up. It's just like, "You know?" Everything is a pain in the ass. You know, I owe my landlord rent for January, February, March, and then it's going to be April. Four thousand bucks. I've got these estimated taxes which instead of paying the seven hundred dollars of fifty percent, I've got to pay another fifteen percent. [00:24:05]

I've got one closing for April. Someone's going to drop of a check on Monday. But I still got to pay rent for May. I've got to pay health insurance. You know? I mean...

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: And I owe the guy from fantasy football. I owe him money. I've got a seventy five dollar check but I owe him more than that and I've got some money in the account for it but I've got this condo that everything's getting wrapped up. And then there's my crazy condo... You know, they want a bill. You know? And then I get an e-mail from the disenfranchised trustee, you know, asking me all these questions and I say, you know... She always says, you know, "I'm a trustee," so like I should give her advice just because she's a trustee. [00:25:03]

I said, "Listen. If there's a problem that a unit owner or a trustee has with another trustee or another unit owner or with the trust I can't advise you." And I said this in a dozen e-mails to her. And I know that man, the guy, the flip flopper was, is worried that I'm billing for these, you know, so called advice e-mails. You know? And then the fucking whack job, you know, she, you know, she doesn't want to pay. She wants the two of them to pay. You know? And then she even threatened to refile her lawsuit against the disenfranchised one. [00:25:55]

Which at first I was like, you know, "Should I have gotten a release?" You know?

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: But I'm like, you know, "We had a fucking twenty thousand dollar judgment against this woman and her claim is total bunk." So if she ever wants to bring it back... You know? I'm glad we didn't sign a release. You know? Because is she wants to go forward again it's going to bite her in the ass. I'm not going to be the accountant on it. No fucking way. Unless they give me five thousand bucks up front. But I think I did the right thing. You know? But I've got to put a final bill to these people. Even though I've got nothing going on this week I was like, you know, "I do my billing at the beginning of the month." I'll do it next week. [00:26:57]

And then I started looking at the billing and I'm like, you know, "I think I'm missing a timesheet." You know? Just... It looked like it was going to a pain in the ass and then I get an e-mail from whack job and she wants me to itemize out who requested each, you know, each activity that I did, who requested it because she wants that person to be responsible for it and that she is going to turn that over to the IRS. I'm like, "Is that a fucking threat?" Is she... You know? What? Is she threatening me now that, you know, I'm a tax cheat and she's going to turn me over to the IRS? And my original response was going to be like, you know, "I'll fucking hand deliver it for you to the IRS." You know? But I didn't do anything. I didn't respond. I was going to also say, you know, "I'm going to send a copy of the engagement letter." Which apparently I didn't get like a fucking asshole so that may come to bite me in the ass. [00:28:01]

They're just going to get my regular bill, all my timesheets, a statement, "This is what you owe." I'm not fucking going and doing that. You know?

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: You want to pay my time? Now if she actually went to the board of our overseers they may actually say she's right and entitled to that because you would need to explain your bill. But my answer is, "The trust requested me to do these things."

THERAPIST: And your bill doesn't necessarily mean having a record...

CLIENT: Yeah. And I'm going to put that in my...

THERAPIST: ...a record of who...

CLIENT: I'm going to send a letter...

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: ...you know, saying, "The engagement is finished. You know, my obligations are done and this is my normal billing practice. I have no obligation to say who requested each activity but I will say that these activities were requested by the trust a majority of the trustees," and then leave it at that. [00:29:01]

So I got that fucking spinning in my head and it's just... You know? I don't even know what else. It's just totally fucking just bummed. You know? It's like I'm starting to question, you know, this whole Olivia thing. It's like, you know, "Am I ever going to talk to her on the fucking phone?" And now I'm, kind of... You know, she brought up the whole separation thing again. Now I'm gun shy. I'm not sure that I want to talk to her on the phone. You know? Am I going to say something stupid? You know, what am I... You know? Just... I don't know. Just... I'm having a bad time and this concert. It's a bluegrass concert. This band I haven't seen in sixty years, they're playing there so I'm like all fucking excited. [00:30:07]

I e-mail Brian and Will (ph) who I went with last year. I was like, you know, "Great line up." You know? Brian e-mails me back, you know, "I think we have a wedding." And I'm like, "Unless it's your wedding you're going to Firefly. Right?" So I go into my calendar. This is, you know, a couple hours later. I go into my calendar to see if I have Firefly in there and my buddy Larry's (ph) getting married that weekend.

THERAPIST: Oh. (LAUGHTER)

CLIENT: (LAUGHTER) I'm like (inaudible at 00:30:43) so... I e-mail back Brian, "I'm a fucking asshole. I've got a wedding on Sunday." To which he e-mails me back, "Unless it's your wedding, skip it." [00:31:01]

So I'm like, you know, "I'm totally psyched for Larry's wedding."

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: For some reason Larry texted me. I can't remember what he texted me about and I told him I was missing Firefly and that, you know, "This wedding better be one fucking hell of a party."

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: In fact, I said, "You're supplying the acid to everyone." You know? It will be just an out of control bash. Someone will get arrested. Someone will get arrested or in a fight. That will happen.

THERAPIST: Oh.

CLIENT: These are just my friend from college. (LAUGHTER) At least his woman is going to be there so he tones it down but Larry is my asshole, my drunken asshole friend. You know? One of my drunken asshole friends.

THERAPIST: (LAUGHTER) [00:31:57]

CLIENT: So it's like, you know, I can't even go to fucking Firefly. I want to go to Larry's wedding. In fact Larry ended up calling me because we started talking about Phish (ph). And I was only going to go to the last day of Phish because I was... You know, Brian and Will can't go. This guy Benji is doing this firework thing up in Massachusetts.

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: It sounded pretty cool so I was like, "Oh, I'll go that."

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: And in fact the woman who I messaged who didn't message me back, she was like, "Why are you only going to one show?" You know? But Larry's going to all three shows. I'm like, you know, "Fuck the fireworks." You know? I'm going to go to Phish with Larry. You know? So Larry calls me and, you know, we were chatting on the phone, whatever and I just... I don't know. You know? And then yesterday, you know, there's a school at the end of my street and every day, you know, I come here, I go right, I go into work, I take a left. You know? There's the traffic guard, this old, you know, this old black dude. And all the parents wave to him so I've tried waving to him before. Never waved back. [00:33:05]

I'm like, "Whatever." So I come up. I stop at the stop line but you can't see either direction from the stop line. So I start pulling forward. Dickhead is on the sidewalk, not holding up his little stop sign and as I look left to see if any traffic is coming, literally like fifteen yards from the crosswalk was a kid walking. So I'm like... And I'm like half way into the crosswalk.

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: So I'm like, you know, "Be a nice guy. Let the kid fucking go." So I stop. The kid comes out. Dickhead starts coming across and he starts muttering to me. I'm like, "Are you fucking kidding me? You know, it's not like you were in the crosswalk with your stop sign for this kid. You know? I had the right to be in that cross walk. The kid wasn't in the crosswalk. He wasn't even at the fucking curb. You know? But I'm ready to take the fucking high road." [00:34:09]

So I put my window down and I'm trying to explain myself and he's like, "Well, you're supposed to stop back here." I'm like, "Yeah. I did stop back there." You know? I was like, you know, "You weren't in the crosswalk and I'm just saying..." And while this is happening a father walks by in the crosswalk and starts fucking yelling at me. You know? And I'm literally... I've got my hand out the window, trying to shake this guy's hand and say, "I'm really sorry. I didn't want to do anything wrong."

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: I'm like totally trying to take the high road and this guy blows me off. You know? And I'm like, you know, "No good deed goes unpunished." You know? And, you know, just because it's the type of person Olivia is I'm trying to be more positive about things. I'm trying to, you know, just, you know... I've used this against her in the whole... I used it in the separation thing. [00:35:01]

You know, she says, you know, work is challenging but ultimately is rewarding. My reply was, "It may be challenging but it might be rewarding." But, you know. So it really wasn't bothering me at all until this morning. I was like, you know, "I can't even fucking drive down my street without being fucking hassled for something I didn't even do wrong." You know? I just... You know, Handball starting and I haven't even fucking... Monday's the first game. I'm, you know, completely out of shape. I'm going to try and bike down just to, you know... I was going to go for a bike ride last night and I was just so fucking exhausted I couldn't do it. And at some point tonight I'm going to say, "Fuck it. I'm going to drive." You know? [00:35:59]

Just... I'm just wandering in my apartment. I'm just like... You know? Where am I fucking going with this? You know, I don't want to be on this medication. You know, this is before I start my meds. And I take my meds and I start feeling better. You know? Which is probably the Adderall kicking in and I'm just... Which made me even... Even though I was feeling better...

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: ...made me feel shittier about the whole thing. I'm like, you know, "I want to get off these fucking meds." I'm tired of them. Clearly I'm not in any position whatsoever to go off the meds. You know? I'm just...

THERAPIST: Well (inaudible at 00:36:41) especially the stuff with Olivia is really a fucking roller coaster for you. You haven't been down in a while and it's really because of that.

CLIENT: Oh I know.

THERAPIST: Which is something that you've avoided doing because you've been so scared about it because, you know, it was going to be an emotional roller coaster because it is. I'm not saying you shouldn't do it. I'm not saying that it doesn't suck that it is but, you know, you really taken on something...

CLIENT: The impression...

THERAPIST: ...that's a lot more. [00:37:09]

CLIENT: The impression that I got from a lot of these women on the site is that they wanted to chit chat and they wanted to meet quickly.

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: So, you know, and that's kind of the way it's, the few women who have shown interest that's... "Let's go have drinks." And it's not like that with her and that's why I never asked her out until after a week.

THERAPIST: Yep.

CLIENT: You know? She... I trust her that she didn't make up that she had plans but, you know, there's definitely some stalling going on here. And, you know, it's like I get upset one minute and then she says something the next minute that, you know... Like the message this morning, "I'm not like other women." You know? And then the winky. You know?

THERAPIST: Right. [00:37:55]

CLIENT: What the fuck does that mean? Is that, you know? And clearly there's some interest.

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: There's got to me more than some interest because...

THERAPIST: Yeah. She's talking to people.

CLIENT: She's talking to people.

THERAPIST: She's texting people. Sure.

CLIENT: She took their advice and followed up with me, given me a second chance. You know? So I don't know. It just... It's too much. It's all too much. It's that but there's all these other things thrown in. You know? It just... The money thing. I don't want to fucking call my dad and ask for money. You know? I really don't. And maybe I'm going to get a red check from my tenant. But it's like, you know, I've got to fucking send some money to my landlord. It's like, you know, four months now and he's going to say something. You know? He's being overly nice about this. And he keeps thanking me for being understanding about the construction. He's kind of actually surprised that I'm putting up with it. You know? It doesn't bother me. Just... It' doesn't bother me. [00:39:15]

And then just complete lack of work. I started to do it, you know, I got one title exam due in like two weeks so I started to put that together this morning. My fucking printer is fucked up. I can't print out at home. And I can't have money to buy a new printer. I actually asked Jess if I can have the printer but...

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: Kind of said yes but it hasn't happened yet. And then at (inaudible at 00:39:43) some document from the seventies in Lowell. So now it's like now I've got to go to fucking Lowell. It's probably in special storage where they're going to have to order it. So I went to order it from special storage. They never fucking called me back and I never got the file. [00:40:01]

So it's like the last thing I wanted to do is to fucking go to some fucking, you know, Kafka-esque (ph) you know, bureaucratic bullshit place. You know? I'm... The only thing that makes me not think of Kafka is that they've got lights on. You now, I always think of Kafka, you know, dark and candlelights. That's the impression I get when, you know... Not like I remember much of any of his stuff but that's the thing that always when I pictured in my mind... So yeah, just... You know? Just having a shitty time. And then I come in here and, you know, I'm losing ten minutes or whatever because you can't get your act together.

THERAPIST: We have to stop.

CLIENT: Yeah. Oh. Happy Good Friday.

THERAPIST: Thanks.

CLIENT: And I really shouldn't be drinking tonight. I'm going to do something stupid. I'm almost tempted to...

END TRANSCRIPT

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Abstract / Summary: Client is upset about the current trajectory of his separation as it is hindering his dating chances. Client is stressed about money and paying his bills.
Field of Interest: Counseling & Therapy
Publisher: Alexander Street Press
Content Type: Session transcript
Format: Text
Original Publication Date: 2014
Page Count: 1
Page Range: 1-1
Publication Year: 2014
Publisher: Alexander Street
Place Published / Released: Alexandria, VA
Subject: Counseling & Therapy; Psychology & Counseling; Health Sciences; Theoretical Approaches to Counseling; Work; Family and relationships; Teoria do Aconselhamento; Teorías del Asesoramiento; Stress; Romantic relationships; Self image; Sense of control; Depressive disorder; Psychoanalytic Psychology; Anger; Anxiety; Low self-esteem; Depression (emotion); Psychotherapy; Psychoanalysis
Presenting Condition: Anger; Anxiety; Low self-esteem; Depression (emotion)
Clinician: Anonymous
Keywords and Translated Subjects: Teoria do Aconselhamento; Teorías del Asesoramiento
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