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CLIENT: I guess like yesterday when I was (pause 00:01:14 00:01:19)—it was—yeah. It was like a long day. (pause 00:01:21 00:01:32) I don’t know. I guess right now it kind of feels like okay, I guess, to be—I don’t know. Busy all day. (pause 00:01:42 00:01:47) You know, working. It seems that like (pause 00:01:49 00:01:54)—I don’t know. (pause 00:01:55 00:01:59) Yeah. My like stamina for kind of working, again, like all day. Or kind of being busy all day has increased. (pause 00:02:11 00:02:17) I don’t know. (pause 00:02:17 00:02:29) I don’t know. But I guess—I don’t know if it’s just because (pause 00:02:32 00:02:36)—I don’t know. It’s easier and to kind of (pause 00:02:38 00:02:41)—I don’t know. Kind of overload myself.

THERAPIST: Let’s just start at (inaudible). All right.

CLIENT: That’s okay. (pause 00:02:52 00:02:58) Yeah. I think I don’t know. Just easier to (pause 00:03:01 00:03:09)—kind of, yeah. Burying myself with work. And then to kind of like go home and unwind or—yeah. (pause 00:03:22 00:03:53) I don’t know. (pause 00:03:53 00:03:58) I don’t know. I guess when I do start to think of like things we’ve been talking about here like situations going on like Marlowe or Paul or—I don’t know. I guess I feel so—I don’t know. Conflicted. (pause 00:04:14 00:04:21) And, yeah. Not really sure what to do or—but, yeah. I guess it’s just kind of been easier to (pause 00:04:31 00:04:34)—I don’t know. Focus on other things or kind of (pause 00:04:37 00:04:43)—I don’t know. Keep going or—I don’t know. (pause 00:04:46 00:04:56) Yeah. (pause 00:04:56 00:05:32) I don’t know.

THERAPIST: (pause 00:05:33 00:05:46) There was some reason you’re just kind of more able to do that at work these days than you have been recently.

CLIENT: (pause 00:05:54 00:05:58) Right. (pause 00:05:58 00:06:10) I’m usually, you know—I don’t know. Told (inaudible) I kind of get like anxious and it’s hard for me to—I don’t know. Concentrate or kind of want to do anything. But I feel like—I don’t know. (pause 00:06:30 00:06:39) Yeah. I don’t know. Maybe I don’t (inaudible) to kind of like (inaudible) good enough. I think it usually starts with what am I going to do when I get home? Or what am I going to do tonight or whatever? Or what’s going on with my friends? (pause 00:07:02 00:07:06) I don’t know. Maybe there’s (inaudible) that kind of happened just kind of and—I don’t know. Working or kind of going. Let’s see.

THERAPIST: (pause 00:07:24 00:08:30) I guess in a way what you’re saying is there’s been a little easier to shut out the (pause 00:08:38 00:08:42)—some of the things that you think about. Like you have (pause 00:08:44 00:08:55) like not (inaudible) work again because number one, the way that—figuring out what to do when you get home or with other people or thinking about Marlowe or Paul can. I remember that kind of anxiety. (pause 00:09:11 00:09:15) Or those kinds of anxious targets are. A bit easier to kind of keep aside.

CLIENT: Right. (pause 00:09:23 00:09:34) I think it’s probably a feeling of like there’s something I can do there. There’s something I can kind of—it’s almost like—I don’t know. Giving out personal things. (pause 00:09:45 00:09:50) Even though I’m not like struggling so much to think about it or kind of analyze it. (pause 00:09:57 00:10:02) Yeah. It’s kind of just (pause 00:10:03 00:10:07) (inaudible). I guess right now it’s I can’t do anything. I don’t know. (pause 00:10:15 00:10:22) I know better not think about how to make this better or what’s wrong or how can I change things or—you know. (pause 00:10:29 00:11:08) I guess—I don’t know. Like I’ve been thinking. (pause 00:11:10 00:11:21) I don’t know if I’m analyzing conversations after the day or kind of—or—yeah. Just kind of critiquing them. I don’t know. (pause 00:11:35 00:11:43) It’s just kind of bringing. It’s kind of—I don’t know. My like go to move when things slow down or kind of when (pause 00:11:51 00:11:57)— when I’m not actively doing something. Just kind of what—I don’t know. (pause 00:12:02 00:12:10) I don’t know. For some reason, I want to say it’s like my screen saver kind of like. But I don’t know.

THERAPIST: (pause 00:12:17 00:13:25) I guess I’m thinking about that (inaudible). Because on the face of it I think you mean the faces that, you know, it’s kind of what takes over when you’re focusing on your actual work the way that the screen saver takes over when, you know, actual work—like somebody’s been doing actual work on the computer. (pause 00:13:49 00:14:10) I guess I was thinking of it as like (pause 00:14:12 00:14:17) screen saver is actually there to avert a danger, right?

CLIENT: (pause 00:14:19 00:14:24) Right.

THERAPIST: (pause 00:14:24 00:15:06) All right. Tell me that’s the way it works. So, (inaudible) bad for the monitor if you’re kind of idle too long. You know, that if the same thing is on the screen for too long, right?

CLIENT: Right.

THERAPIST: And maybe similar to that like when you feel like you’re sort of pausing—you’re not actively working on something, there’s a part of you—you get a little anxious. (pause 00:15:47 00:15:52) And you kind of start working on something else. (pause 00:15:54 00:16:02) Though whether it’s (inaudible) or not something that’s actually going to help you get done what’s in front of you doesn’t make it bad. I’m just saying it’s like a different task.

CLIENT: (pause 00:16:11 00:16:27) Right. I guess kind of like (pause 00:16:28 00:16:36) when things like slow down my work or whatever. And I don’t know. (pause 00:16:43 00:16:47) I know. I guess I start thinking about—I don’t know. How I feel and what’s going on and like with my friends and what’s going on in my life. And I don’t know. And a few things might stand out and I just—I don’t know. I start to analyze them but usually it’s kind of just conflicting—I don’t know. State (pause 00:17:07 00:17:11) of what I should do. I don’t know. And (pause 00:17:15 00:17:21) I don’t know. (pause 00:17:22 00:17:57) I guess I’m—(inaudible) thing is like I guess they haven’t really allowed myself to like make that thought of (pause 00:18:04 00:18:16) kind of (pause 00:18:16 00:18:19) like—I don’t know. Like I guess I don’t think of (inaudible) okay or what’s going on or making it? Just kind of—I don’t know. All right. Kind of what’s next?

THERAPIST: Yeah. Because I think of it like this is the (inaudible). So, I think a screen saver is probably a computer daydreaming.

CLIENT: Right.

THERAPIST: And (pause 00:18:45 00:18:49) I guess in a way that’s maybe what you have trouble with. Is, you know, if a day dream is supposed to (pause 00:18:58 00:19:02) be, you know, a little pleasant, a little restorative, or to like help manage my anxiety a little bit about something. (pause 00:19:08 00:19:12) Often for you, it kind of works the opposite way. It tends to made you to feel more anxious or more like you’re falling apart.

CLIENT: (pause 00:19:23 00:19:29) Right. (pause 00:19:29 00:19:40) I guess I also think of how things could be better or what do I want. You know, and I guess it just makes me feel worse. But those things aren’t happening right or I don’t have any control over. (pause 00:19:57 00:20:03) I don’t know. Yeah.

THERAPIST: (pause 00:20:04 00:20:10) I see. So, it’s like you’re kind of in a way thinking of the right things to daydream about, but somehow what happens is it (pause 00:20:20 00:20:27) like exacerbates the worries that you’re focusing on.

CLIENT: Right. (pause 00:20:33 00:21:54) I don’t know. I guess I feel like—I don’t know. If I had—I don’t know. Something like (pause 00:22:01 00:22:09)—I guess my interest is always like my dynamic or what’s going on with other people and I wish I—maybe if I had outside interests or—I don’t know. Could kind of (pause 00:22:22 00:22:26) (inaudible) it’s not kind of critiquing myself or critiquing the situation or—I don’t know. But like I could kind of help or alleviate some anxiety.

THERAPIST: (pause 00:22:40 00:24:07) I think your worry is often—and I think this comes up here although I think you may be getting a little more confident about it that when you’re sort of off thinking about these things (pause 00:24:18 00:24:22) you’re asking about them on your own.

CLIENT: (pause 00:24:26 00:24:47) I mean what would be the opposite?

THERAPIST: Right. I mean in some literal sense I—it is true. (pause 00:24:53 00:25:40) Maybe it’s like (pause 00:25:41 00:25:45) you sort of don’t exactly imagine that other people are doing the same thing. (pause 00:25:48 00:26:15) I’m still sort of trying to put it together.

CLIENT: (pause 00:26:17 00:26:29) I mean it’s kind of true what you say. I guess I kind of imagine that people are less concerned with how, you know, how someone came off or kind of what someone said. I mean that might be slightly affected by it, but they’re not kind of—they don’t worry about it or kind of feel or analyze it or kind of use it to—I don’t know. I don’t know. To kind of like form judgment or kind of—I don’t know. A caution or something like I do or something. Like I feel like people are more—when they’re—I don’t know. But like their, I guess, mode of just to like—I don’t know. More interested in the things that (inaudible) think about. Things that I’m more interested in that are kind of outside of people or conversations. It’s more like sports or something like that. Something that’s not internalized or kind of used for, you know, analysis of themselves.

THERAPIST: (pause 00:27:44 00:28:08) So, like in that way I might—I need to be kind of overwrought about the sorts of things that you’re thinking about. (pause 00:28:14 00:29:00) I mean part of what’s tricky too is I think (pause 00:29:01 00:29:12) in a way the sort of (inaudible) sort of (inaudible) that you’re talking about I think is precisely to help you feel more connected (pause 00:29:21 00:29:25) to other people.

CLIENT: (pause 00:29:25 00:29:48) Yeah. I mean yeah. A little bit. (pause 00:29:50 00:29:58) I mean maybe I try to understand the situation or—I don’t know. Think about (pause 00:30:03 00:30:07)—I mean yeah. Like how to make something better, but I don’t know. I’m often left angry or kind of—yeah. Not sure what to do. I don’t know. Yeah. (pause 00:30:21 00:32:11) I guess I feel—but yeah. I’m always conflicted and I kind of always hit a wall. And I need kind of reassurance that—I don’t know. (pause 00:32:26 00:32:37) I don’t know. I guess like I am. I’m doing okay or I’m not coming off as (pause 00:32:43 00:32:47)—I don’t know. Crazy or something.

THERAPIST: (pause 00:32:49 00:35:24) Okay. So, it seems to me, you know, if you’re worried I’m thinking that by thinking about some people and situations. I mean that you do that you’re overwrought or even more so like, you know, that you’re just crazy or really out of kilter or something like that. (pause 00:35:45 00:35:51) It seems to me that part of what you want is kind of reassurance from me that that’s not so. But I think (pause 00:35:59 00:36:04) something related to that is (pause 00:36:06 00:36:13)—I kind of want to know if I and other people do the same thing in one fashion or another. In other words, whether (pause 00:36:21 00:36:28)—whether I’m wanky that way. (pause 00:36:30 00:36:35) You know, not having my own (inaudible) about this, that, or the other situation or I’m upset about this or that interaction with somebody or relationship with somebody. (pause 00:36:48 00:36:58) Am I having that kind of reaction to it? Even though it’s not quite the same reaction as you have. (pause 00:37:04 00:37:08) Is that kind of saying on my mind or in thinking about that or dreaming about it are you just very different? It seems to me that that’s kind of associated with the reassurance that you want.

CLIENT: (pause 00:37:28 00:37:54) I mean I think I just (inaudible)—if something was bothering so on or something happened like an argument they might think it was about that argument and not the other person kind of the way I do (inaudible) playing with my mind. And analyzing it and, you know, being angry. But I feel like I’m kind of that way. I don’t know. Importance. You know, small things. Mundane things are kind of—it’s just kind of like hyper analysis or something. Or, you know, I kind of worry about every small interaction or something. I mean yeah. I think I just seen that—yes. I’m sure some people are kind of like me. Kind of worry a lot what other people are thinking or kind of analyzing it. But most of the time—I don’t know. (pause 00:38:56 00:39:03) I don’t know. People are only kind of thinking like that if there must be no problem or something happened or—I don’t know.

THERAPIST: Is it more matter the good kind of thing.

CLIENT: Right.

THERAPIST: (pause 00:39:17 00:39:37) And that you’re sort of (pause 00:39:37 00:39:44) just out on one end of the distribution.

CLIENT: (pause 00:39:46 00:41:08) I mean I wish I wasn’t like this. I wish I (pause 00:41:11 00:41:20) could, you know, not be so affected by things or kind of—I don’t know. Or be, you know, just interested in other things and not kind of—I don’t know. Analyzing people or, you know—I don’t know. Searching for—I don’t know. Truth or something. I don’t know. Or action.

THERAPIST: (pause 00:41:47 00:44:01) It seems to me that there’s something—I don’t know if you’re—(inaudible) second. But I think I could hear. You see in addition to how often you’re doing it as compared to other people. Or over, you know, as you see it kind of small things compared to other people. But that (pause 00:44:23 00:44:28) I think you obviously feel it doesn’t work that well. Or it gets you more sad. And I guess I don’t have the impression you think that way about how it is for other people. (pause 00:44:37 00:44:55) We should stop. Yeah.

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