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NO VOICE UNTIL [00:01:04]

CLIENT: I guess not much is going on. I did some busy work this weekend. Not too much is going on. I’ve been feeling a little overworked and not sure [ ]. [00:02:08] I kind of wish I had something else for myself, the sort of work that gave me more energy because I feel like everything I’m doing is like I should do that or I should go to work or I shouldn’t. (pause) [00:03:14] Maybe I’m wanting something new or something else in terms of [ ] (inaudible at 00:03:29) what I’m doing, but I’m not quite sure. (pause) [00:04:05] Yesterday at work – data analysis that my boss wanted me to do and I’m just feeling tired, so I thought I would feel more rested or fresher tomorrow so I’ll do that tomorrow. I was just worried, though, that I would feel bogged down and tired. (pause) [00:05:02] I guess I kind of wish that I could push through it, but I’m feeling like this week is going to be slow.

THERAPIST: [ ] (inaudible at 00:05:34) you wish this could be easier that you could feel freer or that you were talking more about things you enjoy? (pause) [00:06:08]

CLIENT: I guess a little bit, but I don’t know what those things are. I’m always focused on what I need to do next. (long pause) [00:07:36] Most things that I think are [ ] (inaudible at 00:07:50) or take my mind off things are okay for a little bit, but in the end I’m just worn out or feel out of place and don’t really want to be there. It takes a lot of effort. [00:08:30]

THERAPIST: They’re not easy and they’re not refreshing?

CLIENT: Right. I guess it’s good to have something to look forward to do and [ ] (inaudible at 00:09:12), but usually afterwards I feel like I should be doing a better job with being social or I should just be better at talking or whatever.

THERAPIST: So you feel like you get more focused on how you did talking to people or what you could have said or what you shouldn’t have said or what makes you quiet or something like that, rather than being able to enjoy what you have planned? [00:10:33]

CLIENT: Right. (pause)

THERAPIST: I guess, in a way, specifically more on your performance. (pause)

CLIENT: Right. [00:11:26] I guess I feel like I don’t have much to talk about or stuff to add to the conversation or talk about. I’m kind of boring. I just feel forced or stretching or trying. I guess it makes me feel like I should do more things or I should be interested in more things. (long pause)

THERAPIST: You feel like you’re kind of laughing at some part of yourself that would have things to say or opinions or stuff like that – is that part and parcel of having a good time with people? [00:13:19]

CLIENT: Right.

THERAPIST: I guess it’s opinions, to some extent interests, spontaneous things to say – all that kind of stuff?

CLIENT: Right. (long pause) [00:14:54] I just want it to be easier, just more opinions – more things I’m interested in or enjoy or something that I could talk about. (long pause) [00:15:54]

THERAPIST: Do you feel kind of blank?

CLIENT: [I do. Yeah.] (ph?) (long pause) [00:17:25] I’m just thinking of why I don’t have any interests or why I don’t. It’s like me just not wanting to care or something. I don’t know what it is. Or not wanting to be disappointed or distracted by it. [00:18:13] (pause)

THERAPIST: In a way, having an interest might be sort of like seeing people or spending time with people; is that some sort of mixed thing?

CLIENT: Yeah. Right. [00:19:04] (long pause) I guess I don’t know what to do. [00:19:59] (long pause)

THERAPIST: I imagine it might be frustrating and maybe also sad to not know what you’re invested in or what you enjoy or what your friends enjoy doing. [00:21:12]

CLIENT: Right. (pause)

THERAPIST: I guess also alienating. (pause)

CLIENT: I don’t know. [00:21:54] (pause) I don’t know if I’m just being too stubborn or serious, dismissing everything like “oh, I don’t want to do that” or “I don’t want to,” but I don’t know. (pause) I don’t really know what it is. (long pause) [00:23:37] I’m only focused on the negative. Maybe that’s part of it.

THERAPIST: I’m sorry – you’re only focused on . . ?

CLIENT: The negative or the down side of everything. (long pause) [00:24:29]

THERAPIST: I guess you seem focused on what you do wrong that might cause that.

CLIENT: Right. Or like I’m thinking of things I used to do more or things that other people do that they enjoy –why don’t I like those things? [00:25:27] (long pause) [00:26:54] [ ] (inaudible at 00:26:54) not to do, but I should push myself and try. (long pause) [00:28:02]

THERAPIST: I guess it seems to me you’re delineating a couple of related reasons that it’s difficult to pursue or even know things that you enjoy in their own right for their own sake. And it does seem to me, in parallel with some of the stuff we’ve talked about, to have to do with social stuff and spending time with people. I guess the first one is in a way that you’ll be pulled off, out of or distracted from getting work done or the things you need to do – things that can be really onerous; but also anxious in a way, but it also helps to keep you feel more grounded in a way. [00:29:15] Relatedly, if you were to get absorbed with something that you enjoy, I guess with the social stuff, the way it manifests is that you have a disagreement with somebody or have a strong negative reaction to something they said or did; and then can be kind of split in half with part of you seeing it from their point of view and some part of you seeing it from your own. [00:30:03] I imagine there is something like that with finding an activity or something that you would enjoy doing and that part of you would feel let down or like it was pointless, I imagine, or didn’t reflect well on you in some way or something along those lines. Then on the other side, it would be nice or you would feel like you had a right to do it or enjoy it or something like that. It seems like those are the sorts of things we’re talking about that make it difficult.

CLIENT: Right. [00:30:53] (pause) I guess I don’t know if I just focus on the negative aspect or it’s what I take away from it mainly, but I feel anxious because I am being taken away from work or anxious because I don’t have anything to talk about or that’s all I’m focused on. [ ] (inaudible at 00:31:53) [00:32:06] seeing the positive. (pause)

THERAPIST: So you’re either focused on the pull-away from work or on how you are not contributing enough.

CLIENT: Right. (long pause) [00:33:51] It’s not like I don’t like hearing about what other people do or what they’re up to or if they’re not going to ask me to talk about it – it’s fine. But when I have to contribute something or I’m put on the spot, I don’t like it so it makes me want to withdraw or not be in that situation. (pause)

THERAPIST: You mean if somebody asks you a substantial question?

CLIENT: Right or . . . [00:35:03] (pause)

THERAPIST: I guess you’re also partly referring, I think, to feeling ashamed about having more to say; like the desire to withdraw is partly from not having something to contribute, but I think also feeling pretty bad about that – maybe inadequate and ashamed.

CLIENT: Right. (pause) [00:36:31] I guess it’s like there’s really nothing to say. When you’re talking about work, which I do all the time, there is not much to say about it. There are a bunch of things to do and I just do it. (pause)

THERAPIST: I wonder if there is some of this that has to do with a fear you have of what will come out – that it will put you in danger and that the other person, including me, will be shaming about it or will find it really out of kilter. [00:38:15] I’m aware that somewhere you have that kind of fear, as well. (long pause) [00:39:16]

CLIENT: I think the only fear is that I’m going to come off, when they’re all talking about these things, and it’s apparent that there is not that much there or that there is not much that I really care about or that I’m interested in. (long pause) [00:40:21]

THERAPIST: Do you find yourself boring when it comes to this kind of stuff? Do you feel a bit deadened or something? (pause)

CLIENT: I guess. (pause) I guess I feel like I’m just always so focused on the negative and I just kind of come off as worried and I don’t want to talk about how everything is awful. [00:41:30] (pause)

THERAPIST: It’s like you get sick and tired of it. (pause) [00:42:26] I guess those are the things that are on your mind, even though you feel like that’s all wrong and that you should be thinking also some more positive things or that maybe you have more of an interested in that what is actually on your mind more of the time is more negative and critical.

CLIENT: Right. I should care about more things.

THERAPIST: This makes me feel about it a little bit differently, as though you feel like there isn’t enough room maybe because of feeling so negative or so bad. [00:43:18] (pause)

CLIENT: Right – not wanting to focus on the negative [ ] (inaudible at 00:43:48). [If I just think about it in that term, I’d rather just not.] (ph?) [00:44:05] (pause)

THERAPIST: I imagine both because it would make you feel bad and because you anticipate it would isolate you – people aren’t going to want to hear about it or aren’t going to think well of you for talking about it? (pause) We should stop for now.

END TRANSCRIPT

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Abstract / Summary: Client discusses feeling inadequate when asked a question and not having an answer. Client discusses her social anxiety and general worry about how others perceive her.
Field of Interest: Counseling & Therapy
Publisher: Alexander Street Press
Content Type: Session transcript
Format: Text
Original Publication Date: 2014
Page Count: 1
Page Range: 1-1
Publication Year: 2014
Publisher: Alexander Street
Place Published / Released: Alexandria, VA
Subject: Counseling & Therapy; Psychology & Counseling; Health Sciences; Theoretical Approaches to Counseling; Work; Family and relationships; Teoria do Aconselhamento; Teorías del Asesoramiento; Negativism; Social anxiety; Adequacy; Self confidence; Perception; Psychoanalytic Psychology; Sadness; Low self-esteem; Anxiety; Psychoanalysis; Psychotherapy
Presenting Condition: Sadness; Low self-esteem; Anxiety
Clinician: Anonymous
Keywords and Translated Subjects: Teoria do Aconselhamento; Teorías del Asesoramiento
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