TRANSCRIPT OF AUDIO FILE:

BEGIN TRANSCRIPT:

CLIENT: I happened to have e-mailed one of your clients, who said thank God the week is over on Tuesdays. But, I have been since I got back from Kentucky, I have tried really, I've made a huge effort, to try and be as self-sufficient as possible in terms of getting myself out the door in the morning, that kind of stuff. It's been really wearing on me and this morning, sort of wreaked some havoc, so I'm feeling guilty about breaking my good streak of this.

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: Some mornings I ended up either asking for a ride to work or something like that, just because I'm in so much pain that just getting up down the buses is very, very difficult.

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: But although I've been I mean, I felt a little bit better. It's mostly just been trying to make sure that my taking all that time out of Mike's day, you know? To do that, I've been trying to limit that a lot. I noticed, when I was coming home from work yesterday, I was in pain and I couldn't sleep and this morning it was really bad. [00:01:18]

THERAPIST: Oh, God.

CLIENT: Yeah. It's good and bad. The good news is that I'm not in pain at the moment, not hugely at least. The bad news is that I've sort of started a little bit, taking pain medicine again, so that I can be able to do this, and I don't like that. It's not very much, it's half of the minimum dose that is given by the FDA, but it was enough, like I was up most of the night and I was in pain. I'm like this is I need to do something.

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: But still, I don't like relying on narcotics, and I don't have any doctors here who prescribe (inaudible), using very old not that old, but you know, it's not under advisement. But, at the same time it's just like trying to keep going, and I don't want to ever be one of those people that gets hooked on it, because they were doing it to keep going, so I don't really like doing it, so. I think I've mentioned that my aunt that passed away about a year ago, died from consequences related to medication abuse, so.

THERAPIST: Yeah. [00:02:30]

CLIENT: So, as you could imagine, I really don't ever want to go down that line.

THERAPIST: Sure.

CLIENT: On top of that I've met more than a few people who became dependent on it due to not necessarily entirely on their own. It was due to an injury or due to something.

THERAPIST: I see, that sort of got them started.

CLIENT: Yeah. Even got them started in terms of like they never really went up but they never really got off of it either, even though the doctor didn't want to give it to them anymore.

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: I don't ever want to be like that. So, in certain ways, I'm really disappointed with myself on that one, but I've had a really rough few days, few weeks, whatever. Last week, I broke a tooth, this week I broke a tooth, a different tooth.

THERAPIST: Oh, my gosh.

CLIENT: Yeah. My teeth are falling apart at this point.

THERAPIST: Is that related to the...?

CLIENT: Grinding. I grind my teeth very, very badly, like as in like when people see my night guards they're horrified. On top of it, I throw up, which isn't really good for... [00:03:41]

THERAPIST: Right. Is that because of the medication?

CLIENT: Usually, though sometimes it's due to stress, like something gets set off by the stress. I don't know if it's, you know, like when I had appendicitis, it was caused by that, but sometimes it's just like something causes the stress, which causes some sort of gastro disturbance that keeps you from keeping food down.

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: So I'm back at the dentist after we leave today. I've already racked up, since I've seen you last, like $3,000 worth of dental bills. I have go to back again, probably get another $2,500, waiting on crowns and all this stuff. But it's just, I knew it was coming. I just didn't think that it would all just happen all so fast. I don't really have a solution to it, because it's like I'm wearing a night guard. I'm obviously grinding my teeth when I'm not wearing night guards, it's like a safety blanket for me, and I'm just destroying my teeth. It's not good for your jaw. Apparently, when I was really, really young I did this. All of my life I've been bruxing, but it's a lot worse now, but as a small child, I was doing this before I had teeth or when I only had a couple of teeth.

THERAPIST: Wow. [00:05:22]

CLIENT: I ground my teeth, so yeah.

THERAPIST: Is it worse when you're more stressed out?

CLIENT: Yeah. Like, I don't think about it, I'm doing it. I'll do it, like if I'm programming, I'll do it when I'm programming. So, yeah. So as you could imagine, that's less than, like I said, you know, anything I could really handle right now, you know? Just, it, much like the throwing up thing, I am so I have been under so much duress for so long, that I am having physical, like you know, permanent physical evidence of that, if that makes sense. I'm destroying my teeth, I'm starting to screw up my stomach by doing this, you know? And it really saddens me to realize that it's all going in one direction, you know it's not it's becoming permanent, you know? Unlike a habit of biting one's nails or something like that, you can stop and it's for the most part reversible. [00:06:47]

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: It's something exhausting, but at the same time it's like I don't know how else to live, I mean I have to keep going to my job, I have to keep doing my life here. The pain is not negotiable, you know? There is nothing about my life right now that I could easily eliminate and have a significantly better quality of life right now. Quality of life being not just emotional stress but like physical.

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: You know? If my husband just all of a sudden got sober, I do not believe that my leg would stop bothering me at night. I think it might bother me a little less.

THERAPIST: Yeah. [00:07:55]

CLIENT: But I wouldn't -

THERAPIST: Emotionally, you'd feel better.

CLIENT: But at the same time, as far as I know, he's been sober for quite a bit of time and he's still...

THERAPIST: Really?

CLIENT: Yeah.

THERAPIST: Good.

CLIENT: That's very good. I don't know if it's true. I'd like to believe it's true but unfortunately, when you start doing streaks like this, it tends to lend to the belief of cheating, if that makes sense. Not wanting to admit that you failed.

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: (sighs) I begged him to be able to give it up for lent. (laughs) I know, this is the weirdest thing. And I keep doing this weird thing with my tongue, it's just because I have a broken tooth in my mouth right now. I said to him you know what? Lent is supposed to be a time where you're supposed to give up something that is terrible for you, whether or not you do it or not, just see if you can do it. This won't be for the rest of your life, because when you do it, I'm going to try and do it for the rest of my life -

THERAPIST: Right. [00:08:55]

CLIENT: kind of thing. Or even just like, I'm trying to do this so that I could get like I'm sure that when he does try to stop, because of something special coming up, it's not even like I can do it and I can stop as soon as that person... He sees it as, you know, I'm doing this for the rest of my life kind of thing. It has to be that way. I said you know what, just to see if you have the sheer willpower, could you do this for me? I've told him that I will not be upset with him if he didn't make it.

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: I kind of believe that he did.

THERAPIST: Your point is you wanted him to try.

CLIENT: Yeah, just to see know his measure. And he claims that he has been sober since then. I don't know a whole lot of details of it. I was surprised that he hasn't told anybody except for his therapist, and hasn't really detailed that much to him, I think maybe because he's trying to that's the number one reason why I think he's being honest actually, is because he hasn't told anybody about it, except for his therapist and me. Otherwise, I would think that if he told other people and there was more of a [00:10:08]

THERAPIST: Who else would he tell, I mean who else knows?

CLIENT: His parents or something like that maybe, you know? I don't know, somebody from like call up somebody from when back when he used to go to FA meetings, something, that he's been sober for this amount of time. I don't know, somebody.

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: Like his dad. His dad, we had to keep reminding him that he's an addict, or otherwise he sort of thinks he's sort of this was like a phase.

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: Which is awful. I don't know, I just figured he would mention it more, but I think the fact that he doesn't mention it actually maybe means that it probably is true, because he's not setting himself up. He's so worried that he's not going to make it, that he doesn't want to say much about it. So, we'll see. But he's in general, been a lot more aware of everything around him, that kind of stuff. I told you when we were away it was great, except for like when he was around his family, he was but that was just because they just spook the they're just weird. They make all kinds of inappropriate comments and all this stuff so, you know? But I really think that I think it might be really helping. [0 0:11:36]

Now I'm a little worried just in general, because he seems to be getting more stressed out again, but I really feel like when he is sober, he is able to be something great. He is usually a really great spouse, he's really great at work. You know, you just you know, he is pretty, pretty great about stuff, so. I don't know. I guess we'll just have to see where things go from there. But yeah, I mean he's having sobriety. He's, for the most part being okay, and I'm losing teeth on an average of seven days apart, so you know. Not losing them but breaking them, so that they have to be crowned, so that I might as well be losing them, and limping around and not being able to sleep and all this stuff. So, who knows. [00:12:40]

But I mean, today was an especially stressful day at work, partially because I felt guilty before I even got out the door, about having to take up two hours of his time. On Tuesday mornings, for some reason, I have no idea why, traffic is horrible, it's horrible, horrible. We leave at 7:30, he gets back at 9:30. Two hours of his time there.

THERAPIST: He takes you out?

CLIENT: Yeah. Not always, but I mean today, I needed him to drive me, because I was just in so much pain, I really needed the ride. I felt guilty about that, plus feeling guilty about taking painkillers.

THERAPIST: Is the highway really bad?

CLIENT: Yeah, oh yeah. I guess it's like the corridor, people are coming in from I mean, it takes a while for us to get there but it's much longer getting back into the city. [00:13:47]

THERAPIST: Okay.

CLIENT: It depends on how things are.

THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah, all right. I found out about it not too long ago, so I thought I'd bring it up.

CLIENT: I appreciate it though. At some point maybe, but yeah, this was just more of yeah. But yeah, I know how to go through for the most part. He's a Kentucky boy, he likes highways. It's funny, but yeah, it's a lot more, you know, he just doesn't do well in traffic. But he's taking a lot of time out of his day for that, you know, obviously the cost involved. It's not that expensive but it means it has to cost money to do it. I have a lot of guilt related to that, you know? [0:14:52.5]

I had an especially difficult lineup of people today, coming right in the door, reading like people's, you know. Even before I even got there, I could see by the notes that they had left me, that it was going to be bad.

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: I felt like the entire day, I was just well, the entire day being from like 9:00 to 1:00, it was extremely stressful, because I spent the entire time dealing with things that I didn't nothing that I did not know the answer to, which I don't mind, I usually like the discovery, but for things that I'm not entirely sure there is an answer to, and that's frustrating.

THERAPIST: Yeah. Knowing insolvable if you don't know the solution is much better.

CLIENT: One of them, because the person I was working with did not speak English especially well, was even more so, because I can entirely I wasn't completely certain if I was getting the problem entirely either. That was even worse. [00:16:16]

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: Yeah just you know, sometimes you lose some. Sunday was judgmental Sunday.

THERAPIST: What does that mean?

CLIENT: Just sort of accidentally, I was helping out with some things and I just realized that I turned to the person I was working with at my job, I'm like boy, I'm being really judgmental today. Just seeing the people, the way that they were behaving towards their children or just in general, whatever, I was just grumbling at everybody around me. For me, at least when I say that, boy am I being... it sort of snaps me out of it, because by calling it judgmental Sunday, then I'm just like not taking myself that seriously.

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: There was this kid's table, like they have these little acrylic things that they glue to the tables, that they can put the stuff on, so they can be propped up, and this one kid apparently took the acrylic piece off of the table and proceeded to whack his little brother with it, and when the mom took it away from him, he started flipping out. And she knew that she needed to keep him quiet long enough to get her phone, so she gave him back the acrylic piece he was hitting her other son with. She just gave it back to him, to keep him from screaming, where like in like, I was helping out basically, and I saw all day, kids were flipping out because they weren't getting the phone that belonged to the parents, that we needed to fix. And then you'd like, you'd keep getting it back, like if they wanted to be like when the parents took it away from the kids.

THERAPIST: I see. [0:18:11.4]

CLIENT: They were flipping out, like they were kids, little, little kids. And so boy, I'm being really judgmental, and I just turned to a friend of mine who I work with and I'm like as you know, people that don't have children know everything about child rearing, and I am totally judging these people right now. Then also, I spent a long time waiting in line to get some drink orders, a bunch of us were being sent out there, and this one woman was in front of us. I don't remember exactly, but I was already in a grumpy mood about this. Oh, I remember what I was judgmental about this, yes, okay, and basically she was extremely pregnant and ordering the most caffeinated drink she could, so she could waddle away. I'm like, I'm judging you, that's wrong, whatever, but at least I'm laughing about the fact that I'm judging this person, so I can get over the fact that I'm judging. I'm not normally this judgmental.

THERAPIST: Right. [00:19:11]

CLIENT: I can normally keep my nose in my own business because I live in a very glass house, but at least most of the time I can figure that out, laugh at the fact that I'm doing that, especially the whole thing of, because I have no children, of course I know everything about child rearing, you know? And at least get over it, but it's not always I can get past that during the day, that I wasn't so much grumpy about. The child hitting the other child with a Lucite block, that was kind of completely... yeah.

THERAPIST: Yeah, that doesn't sound exactly like moralizing about how to raise your children, you know like don't give him back the thing he was whacking his little brother with. It's pretty hard to argue that.

CLIENT: Well more along the lines of how in the world is it that you've trained your child so that if they scream bloody murder about something, they get whatever they want, just so you can keep them quiet for a few minutes.

THERAPIST: Mm-hmm. [00:20:18]

CLIENT: I'm sure that everybody in the store was appreciative that he was only hitting on his brother, you know, only hurting his brother, as opposed to shrieking and making everybody standing nearby having to listen to it too. So who knows, maybe it's a win-win situation in terms of sacrificing one child's head for the well being of everybody else in the store. I don't know. I'm being sarcastic. But it's been, you know, the joys of working retail. Though I have heavily influenced two of the people at least, that I work with, have gone part-time, instead of full-time, so that they can have less time in the store. Because I keep saying, I can't say enough of how not working that much does make it a lot easier, especially not just in sales but dealing with the other stuff, because we deal with the customers when they're unhappy or when they don't understand. Making sure that you have time not in the store is really, we do that to keep from being burned out. So it is good that we've been able to influence other people too. Because it is, it is stressful. You get all kinds of stuff all the time, you know? And... yeah. [00:22:10]

THERAPIST: I wonder if you're a little worried by the possibility of my sort of having sympathy for how difficult things are for you, with all you have to deal with, that that's in a way, sort of a threatening process.

CLIENT: Maybe. I have forgotten the word I recently learned, the term of under like there's actually an English term for it, for understanding the purpose but actually really meaning something different. Like occasionally, when people say things like oh wow, you're fantastic at this, and I say occasionally. I totally, like in certain situations, do actually believe wholeheartedly, but my reaction to it is I don't know how else to react other than thank you, so I sort of downplay it. Not because I necessarily think that it is not worthy of sympathy, as much as... (pause) (signs) I don't know. I don't know what to say. I don't think it's quite that, it's something else. My sarcastic nature, you know, I don't know. [00:23:59]

THERAPIST: I imagine you're worried that if you sort of felt sympathy for the things you're going through, or sort of like let go a little bit, of having to work so hard, that you wouldn't get things done, you'd get really down about things.

CLIENT: A little bit yes, that is true.

THERAPIST: And, you know, it means, I think, a lot to you, to sort of be as productive and as functional as you can be.

CLIENT: Yes.

THERAPIST: I think that's weighted pretty heavily, sort of as a model.

CLIENT: I honestly at some point, have thought about putting do you know how little kids have sometimes, these little job charts, where they get a sticker every time they get something? I've thought about doing that for myself, ensuring every morning, that I'm able to functionally get out the door on time to do this. I feel ridiculous doing that but sometimes it's just so hard.

THERAPIST: Mm-hmm, yeah. [00:25:29]

CLIENT: So yes, for a person who didn't always need to mark accomplishments, the small stuff and celebrate it, I do. You know? I mean, my husband and I describe the fact that I had been sort of battling being phobic of needles lately. The word phobic isn't the right word. Avoidant, unwilling to trying to negotiate my need to get as few needles as possible, and then I let myself get some acupuncture, feeling like okay, that's a huge accomplishment, I should do something to reward myself for that. Not necessarily always because if I do this, I will do this, because a lot of times people, they do it only for the reward. But saying hey, you know what, I really did something.

THERAPIST: I think you're trying to take care of yourself. [00:26:34]

CLIENT: I'm trying to because you know? Trying to but my accomplishments are much smaller (pause) and they are the only people that celebrate them are me, my husband, and our turtles. He dogs seem to the turtles seem more interested, in terms of whether or not I did this or oh my gosh, you know, I'm on the move, I'm being (coughs). Getting out of bed and getting a pair of pants on, you know?

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: I also was very positive on that kind of thing too, definitely very sweet and very much, like if I say I need to celebrate the fact that I got a pair of pants on today, he's all in for this. If I told him I wanted a cake because of that, he'd be all in for it, which is good because well, you know, I need that. [00:28:01]

THERAPIST: Sure.

CLIENT: And... (pause) I don't know. I have always thought that my life would be a progression on the way of things. I mean, maybe sort of a little bit, but for the most part, I have an overall upward trend, at least until I don't know, until I got into an age of being infirmity. You know, in terms of being able to celebrate, okay, well I'm doing this, I'm doing that. But it seems like I get less and less done, less and less accomplishment in terms of certain things. I mean, it does vary, it's true, but I feel like overall -

THERAPIST: The age of infirmity turned out to be -

CLIENT: Thirty.

THERAPIST: thirty. [00:29:04]

CLIENT: But I don't look crippled.

THERAPIST: No.

CLIENT: Yeah, I just really thought that was going to be, you know. If something was going to happen where it would happen so early, it would be just like some sort of terrible accident or something. Something that would be much more expected in terms of really taking a toll on one's life, you know?

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: Not something that is not really...

THERAPIST: Between you and Mike, you really have two things I think. Like your health, physical health, and his addictions. [00:30:12]

CLIENT: And the fact that we're dead broke.

THERAPIST: Which I think is a consequence of both of the if it weren't for those two things, I don't think you would be.

CLIENT: If you go back far enough, yeah, but yeah. (pause) But yeah, probably not.

THERAPIST: You'd probably have a big job in engineering, contractor, something like that and he would be a lot more productive.

CLIENT: I honestly, even though I loved working, you know, I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I wanted to work and do whatever I wanted, but I wanted to be able to stay home. I enjoy being a housewife. [00:31:21]

THERAPIST: So that's what you probably would have been.

CLIENT: Yeah. So, hopefully, but yeah, that would have been.

THERAPIST: You would have like been through more school (inaudible).

CLIENT: I hope not. As much as I say that, my friends are in Kentucky, but yeah.

THERAPIST: That's who I meant.

CLIENT: Our friends but not necessarily in Kentucky.

THERAPIST: I just meant -

CLIENT: Yeah, yeah, with our friends, but yes, yeah, yeah, or least living the cool life of the people that are just traveling the world and doing this and that, living a cool life.

THERAPIST: It sounds like you would have wanted to have kids by now.

CLIENT: Yeah. And you know, we don't, and that's really hard, to even think about the fact that even if there were some miracle that would happen, there was a closing for me, like biologically as well. So, because you know, it isn't just hold on a little longer, you can get into remission. I'm in my late thirties. It's not impossible but it's not like time is running out, so I don't know, sometimes I feel like and I think I have a very valid reason to feel like this, that life will never be any different than this, this like Purgatory life of subsisting but not being able to get any better. Well, that's pretty much what I've been living for years and years and years. [00:33:34]

THERAPIST: Yeah. Eventually, that could help a bit, if Mike gets a faculty job to make some more money. It wouldn't affect your pain that much but it would probably affect the financial stress and maybe how much you'd have to work, or something like that.

CLIENT: Yeah.

THERAPIST: I'm sure you'd keep busy doing something.

CLIENT: But I'd be able to pick and choose what I can do, based upon my condition, which is different.

THERAPIST: You might have more flexibility that way.

CLIENT: Yeah. And, you know, I have never been (sighs) I've never been sort of driven by the fact that what I accomplish in life doesn't necessarily mean what I do to earn a paycheck. Versus a stay at home mom, like I would have a million other projects to do and I would feel completely fulfilled. I would be, you know, let's go to Mommy and Me, and let's learn Japanese together kind of thing you know? I'd find something. It's interesting, talking to a friend of mine's wife, who constantly gets the, don't you feel like your life isn't successful because you don't work, and it's like well... [00:35:05]

THERAPIST: Wait, sorry, who is this?

CLIENT: My friend, Camille. She hears a lot from her friends. She has a lot of a lot of people ask her. They're convinced that work is what's going to make her feel redeemed. She's happy, you know? Her husband just built this enormous house in Kentucky, you know? Because they're like well, the kids are in school, what do you do? And she's like well, I take care of myself and I take care of my home. They're like, but you have cleaning people. Taking care of home is not necessarily dusting.

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: But it's nice to so I was talking to her about that. She's happy but people seem to think that people would be unhappy. I think I have a very real window into the fact that I would be happy at home. Even if we didn't have kids, I think I would be happy at home. I would just do my projects and I'd get involved in things when I can. Right now, the looming danger of finances, especially I do, from time to time, pick up side projects so that I can get extra money, so it isn't just the but there is the looming fear of finances constantly on us, you know? [00:36:17]

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: It will eventually get better. I just don't see it happening in this decade. And I'm not being like sarcastic or overestimating. I just honestly, when it comes to like, between the two of us having $100,000 in just school debt, more than that probably, along with everything else, I really don't think it's going to happen in this decade. That sounds flippant but...

THERAPIST: Will Mike try to work in academia, is that the route for him?

CLIENT: I think so. I think he is more suited to academia. This morning I tried to bring this up and I'm going to bring it up actually, after we're done working here, of trying to because, basically, based upon the research he's doing right now, trying to do some sort of very short-term thing with the Pasteur Institute, because that would be one of those things of academia plus a high profile organization, and then going back into academia again kind of thing. But I think that that kind of thing would be really good. In his field, a lot of people are involved in, they don't actively work every day at these jobs but they have consulting or they have other things that they do with startups or spin-offs, which are a little different. [00:37:48]

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: I could see myself there's a couple of hardware accelerators here, that if I did the time to really take and it sounds awful to say this a couple of months off doing nothing, enough that I could get my imagination going again. I really could see myself acting in an advising role with an accelerator here. The hardware accelerator market really seems to be really going up.

THERAPIST: Is an accelerator like an incubator?

CLIENT: Yes. It's the new word. It's like it's not a metallic any more it's oblique. By the way that's the new one, by the way.

THERAPIST: Oh really?

CLIENT: Oh, yeah. So an accelerator is basically an incubator for but usually it's not just advising. Also, with harbor accelerators, they have physical manufacturing applications, like there's 3D printers to be able to do things, teach you things about how to do... Basically, it has the (inaudible). It's kind of it's an interesting concept. You have to be involved in it, you have to be actually working, not just tinkering, you're actually making and creating with a plan. [00:39:00]

THERAPIST: You actually have to have a business layer.

CLIENT: And there's a couple of them, that like I said, I could totally see myself doing it. And quite frankly, as long as we were getting by, I'd do it for free. I'd do it just for the fact that I have a lot of experience with certain things that I'd like to impart on the community and help somebody make something, make another company. I love developing others. Also, when you do it free, you can start picking and choosing how much time you want to donate to it. When there's a paycheck involved, there is almost always an obligation of you need to be doing this now.

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: Even if you haven't gotten the money yet. I can see that. I think that academia would probably be better. It also makes a bigger it is a bigger gambit for us when we try to adopt, because the only thing we really have got going for us to make a if we do at least a local, local being a U.S. adoption, is the fact that we can offer children free tuition. They won't ever have to worry about that, whereas if it's international, it's much, much easier to adopt internationally also, if you're associated with a university. They'd like not to screw with the people involved at the universities. Also, if you're going to Beijing, and we have a collaboration with this, then somebody could put you up there. It's much easier than if you're just working.

THERAPIST: Yeah. [00:40:48]

CLIENT: To get assisted. There's more of a community it comes to that kind of stuff. Just try to go forward, try to bring this up to my husband without freaking him out. Today we were talking in the car and he's like, "Can we change the subject for a while because this is bringing me a lot of anxiety." I'm like okay, I appreciate that you told me that, as opposed to just taking it. Shooting it down at least. But if he can get this experiment running, I really feel like and the reason why I'm saying Pasteur, is because they're the people that certify. I don't know if you've heard that there's one child and 15 adults that have officially have had been exposed to HIV, that no longer have the virus or anything like that, in their bodies. They're the people that certified it. They're the people that did the research.

THERAPIST: Oh. [00:41:54]

CLIENT: And the reason why they were able to do so is they were very, very early HIV tests. Not very, very early tests, but be able to catch it super, super early, and treat quickly, before other things happen. And so I think that since he's got this test, with one molecule of the protein at all, test one, yes or no, if it has it, this would be a natural collaboration. Because they need to if they want to more with this, then they have to have a method of being able to test early, early, and also test these people who supposedly do no longer have this disease, to make sure that they don't really actually do have any sort of early warning signs.

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: I'm the person that thinks of these things. I'm the person, I'm the idea maker, and so I need to capture his imagination and get excited because that is the way to do it. It's sort of what I was born to do, so I don't mind it. I mean, I say this like just it's I don't know if it's a nature or nurture thing, but it's the culture I was raised in. Although my mother really has not practiced since the '70s, she has made my father's career as much as he has, whether it just being interesting to talk to at a dinner party or this or that, or you know, it's three in the morning and I need someone to pull up all this case law and whatever, and I don't happen to have anybody to do it. I mean she's and it doesn't bother me to do it, I like doing it. I like being part of something.

THERAPIST: Yeah. [00:43:54]

CLIENT: But it isn't even just that. I also come up with and feel like I it's not even just being like hey, can you do this, can you fill out these reports, as much as I like the fact that immediately see opportunities and want to be able to see them more than somebody else who just doesn't think about it.

THERAPIST: Great. We need to finish up.

CLIENT: Okay. So, that's pretty much about it. I will be back in on Tuesday, I guess.

THERAPIST: All right, we'll see you then.

CLIENT: Okay. I have eight weeks of physical therapy. I think I was going to let you know.

THERAPIST: Okay.

CLIENT: So that's when they'll reevaluate and see if I need more. So in two months, we'll talk about whether or not I should expand.

THERAPIST: Sure, by coming Thursday.

CLIENT: Coming back Thursday or whenever, I understand obviously, if it gets taken.

THERAPIST: Okay.

CLIENT: See you next week.

THERAPIST: Yeah, sounds good.

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