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CLIENT: I hope everything went as you know, [we were soaked] (ph) yesterday.

THERAPIST: (inaudible 00:10) Well, I hope the same with you as well.

CLIENT: Actually, I have a lot of good things to say about yesterday.

THERAPIST: Well, that's great.

CLIENT: Yeah. I am really fucking proud of my store. I really am. Well, you know, where we were, we're further up, you know, than being in the city. Yesterday, as the day went on, a lot of people who were first responders for the areas around there were being utilized to come down to relieve people who were in the city, and many of them started about, you know, 4:00 or 5:00 pm, started coming into our store to make sure because their phone isn't working or this or that. Just to make sure everything's going before they get in the city. And my manager's like, "They don't need to wait. They don't need an appointment. If they're out of warranty, we'll make sure that they're in warranty. Like, we need to make sure that they have phones that are working. If they think they have a battery life problem and we normally send them home to do this or that, we want them..."

THERAPIST: Right (inaudible 01:17)

CLIENT: Yeah. (Pause) It was just something really, really nice about that, and something (ph) to be really proud of, you know?

THERAPIST: Yeah, absolutely (ph).

CLIENT: It wasn't I mean, it was obviously a managerial decision specifically to cover things that were not coverable normally (ph). But above and beyond that, you know, we really did the best we could to make sure that, although we were so far away to support what was going on, a lot of us just, you know, did what we could (inaudible 01:52) to make sure that, you know, these people had phones to go out there.

So it sounds cheesy and dumb but, also, not open now. It won't be open for a while. they're making sure everyone gets paid, and making sure everybody gets the mental help that they need. Because, from what I understand, they saw some really, really bad things, especially up on the third floor, where people [doing that are doing] (ph) my job would be up there. When there's things going on like that, everyone goes (inaudible 02:32) the glass to watch the marathon. So they had to sort of front row view of -

THERAPIST: Yeah. I mean, that must be, like, just (ph) 300 yards, probably, from -

CLIENT: Yeah. And of course, it's on the third floor, so they can see all the way down. And so, yeah, we're going to try, like, all of our stores, when they're ready to open for people who just aren't ready to come back, we're going to try (inaudible 02:54) people in.

THERAPIST: Right, to cover.

CLIENT: To cover. But just other various things that we're just doing right now to support every way (ph) we can. I'm just really proud of [my company] (ph).

THERAPIST: That's great. Sounds terrific.

CLIENT: So that was, you know. Yesterday was not an awesome day by overall standards, but I feel like, during (ph) the crisis, that we did some awesome things.

THERAPIST: That's good (ph).

CLIENT: Yeah. So (sighs). But, yeah, aside from that, I'm doing better.

THERAPIST: Good.

CLIENT: I'm not always physically better, but I am able to handle more usually. I had some really bad days. Sunday night, I couldn't sleep at all because of pain, even though I was taking medicine, so I ended up literally staying up all night -

THERAPIST: Wow.

CLIENT: and then going to work.

THERAPIST: Wow. What was hurting?

CLIENT: Everything. That Sunday night, we had a store meeting, and it was basically, they had us out at a stadium. Not while the game was going on, but they I guess they do, like I didn't even know this because I didn't (inaudible 04:11) hasn't had a winning team in many, many years, so no one cares. But here, like, it was supposed to be the experience of going to the stadium and being able to walk on the field and doing all this other stuff.

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: So we had a store meeting that was held there. And so, all of the various even though it was not all that physical, it was very physical for me.

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: And so, I had a lot of aches and pains that were just, you know. And it was just it was overdoing it. I mean, climbing bleachers and doing all that kind of stuff is just kind of hard on me. But everybody did it. I just felt like hell all night. And then, you know, getting out of bed in the morning to go (ph) the next day was not great, but honestly, I don't think I could have had a night like that and dragged myself out of bed at 5:00 am and try not to, you know, (inaudible 05:03) to work again, in December, you know. Probably not even a month ago. I couldn't have done that. I would just there's no way in the world I could have gone without sleep. And also, having been in pain and dragging myself to work. So I'm feeling hopeful.

THERAPIST: Good. That's a big deal.

CLIENT: Yeah. But yeah, that's been pretty much, you know, my day, my life right now, you know. Work, which, you know, it's good. I'm glad that things are improving. So (pause) I am going to definitely, this summer, sit in on some classes though, you know.

THERAPIST: Cool.

CLIENT: Yeah. Because I'm finally, like, if I'm getting like this now, I definitely want to be able to do more, so that would definitely be helpful.

THERAPIST: That's good.

CLIENT: Yeah.

THERAPIST: What are you taking?

CLIENT: I don't know yet. Last summer, I really wanted to do the learn a language thing. (Pause) I've been feeling daunted about it. One, because, well, it's hard. But two, because, well, I suck at languages. (Laughter) And I'm going to at least give myself a few weeks ahead of time to try to, before the class starts, to get back in my favor and sort of try to pick up some of the characters, et cetera. They have some really great iPad apps where basically, it's almost you've probably seen them made for children, that teach them to learn how to draw letters. They do that for (inaudible 07:05) and a couple of other things specifically for that.

And I figured if I try for a couple of weeks ahead of time and see how I'm doing, because I always get you know, I always end up flailing around and being stuck behind, because I just retain the I retain things from languages much more slowly than other people, like, picking up stuff. Many people say I'm really hard on myself because I'm measuring my ability against other people in my life who are very good at it. I mean, I don't just do that. I look at and I talk with my I've been to study groups with my classmates. I know that they pick things up better than I do.

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: And it doesn't keep me from doing it. I've done it a lot in my life. I still keep trying. It's just I don't have the natural talent for it. So (pause) but I don't know why I (inaudible 08:10) to keep trying, but I do. I guess because I like to travel. And because as much as I took (laughter) yeah, I took Greek three times. Greek 1 three times in a row. Yeah. I think I still have an incomplete with the last one. I still feel like, you know, in certain countries, I can still make it a way around because of the fact that I retained it. What I needed to retain, not necessarily what when you study classical Greek, it is very different than the way, like, the kind of things you retain for other stuff. Their focus is on taking historical documents and translating them.

For me, I retained a lot of the things of understanding word roots and being able to apply them specifically for understanding words that I see around me or to understand things in, you know, in science or in law. But I can't (inaudible 09:19) anything to save my life, other than, like, a few things. But I feel like I retained what I needed to know, you know?

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: But I would really like to try.

THERAPIST: Cool.

CLIENT: Probably my fourth failure at taking not just taking a language, but fourth language that I fail at. But that's okay. When I say that, I'm not setting myself up for I'm not saying that as, like, dooming myself. I know that, and if I pleasantly surprised myself, that's great. But at least I'm just going to try. We'll see. But I'd like to do it, even if I suck at it.

THERAPIST: Well, that's the part that matters.

CLIENT: But if I don't do that, I think I want to try and get something really, really something where I can't take it too seriously. Something...

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: How do I explain this? (Pause) It's not that it will be intellectual, per se. it's something that is almost a slightly absurd and why in the world would I be taking it kind of thing.

THERAPIST: I see. So not like engineering physics?

CLIENT: Oh, if it's engineering physics, which there are some, but it would be things like they have things that it would be engineering physics, but sometimes it's something isn't so applicable for what I want. Therefore, I can it's a low risk thing, you know. Like, for example, you know I'm trying to think of a really good one to describe this. (Pause) Oh gosh. I've taken things like this in the past, where it's, like, it's not that applicable to me. Therefore, you know, it's low risk, you know, that kind of things. I can't' think of anything off the top of my head, but they do that. Like, for example (pause) oh, god.

THERAPIST: Like, physics of baseball or (inaudible 11:33).

CLIENT: I mean, that would be the same thing too. But, like, something, like, you know, I would do any inorganic organic chemistry would be something that's high risk, because I don't need it. That's not quite the same thing, but it would be something like that.

THERAPIST: It will be just for an education?

CLIENT: Yeah. But I like that. So I...

THERAPIST: Yeah. I imagine it would be nice to use your mind that way again.

CLIENT: Yeah. And...

THERAPIST: I mean, it's not that you aren't in certain ways now.

CLIENT: No, no. trust me, you don't need to explain that. But it's more of a (pause) learning new skills, for me, is part of what makes me be able to do other things. [If they're completely unrelated, better] (ph). So I retain information that I learned years ago that are completely unrelated by picking up new skills, you know. [00:12:42]

I don't know if it's true. Like, but for me, it feels almost like it's keeping it's preserving pathways, neurologically. I don't know. But it definitely helps. But yeah, I would really like to do that. That would be very good, so we'll see.

(Sighs) But that's been pretty much it. Just tired. Don't feel especially miserable, you know. Just tired. I feel like at least, for the most part, I can deal with whatever's coming at me. But I can't really I mean, it's easy to say, "Oh, it is because of this, and it is because it's because the weather is better. Or it was because of this." The fact that I don't know if my husband is actually really keeping sobriety right now, like, pretty much in check, or if it's just that he is becoming less associated because of it. I doubt that that's actually true because I don't think you ever becomes less like, you become more functional as that, as an addict. But he seems more like the person that I'm around. Therefore, I don't feel as much on edge. I don't know I it's because of, you know, the fact that I'm getting more used to, you know, making my way around. I don't know. It's (ph) not any one thing, but it does feel like lately that things [are on a better sway] (ph). [00:14:12]

THERAPIST: Good.

CLIENT: Yeah.

THERAPIST: [Well, it's about time] (ph)

CLIENT: Yeah. And it's nice to, when dealing with complications in life, being able to have, like, the ability to have the energy and, you know. Not just energy. It's mostly, like, the willingness to try and fix it because (inaudible 14:37), okay, that's it. Not going to bother with it, you know. But I think, yeah, that's been pretty good.

THERAPIST: Great.

CLIENT: But that's been pretty much it.

THERAPIST: Out of the things you thought more about doing?

CLIENT: A little bit. I feel more like I'm willing to contemplate the idea of doing it. Does that make sense?

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: Doesn't mean I'm actually doing it yet, but I really contemplate the idea of what might I be interested in doing. Yesterday, we were supposed to go to IKEA. We made the decision not to because the only real easy way to get to the south of the city is under (inaudible 15:25). We weren't certain if it was open or not. We decided to just not to do that.

THERAPIST: (inaudible 15:25)

CLIENT: Although I was exhausted, I felt like maybe we could have. On top of that, I didn't feel very lost. Normally, I would have been devastated because I'm like, "Okay, so we arranged to have a car. We paid for the car. You know, we couldn't do it." Like, I would have been either devastated that I had lost this opportunity or I would have, if not, then in that situation, I would have come home from work and been like, "Okay, so we're going to pack me up in a bunch of ice packs, and I'm going to lay here, and [we're not going to IKEA] (ph)." So the fact that it didn't happen neither emotionally bothered me. Also, I physically could have, probably.

And usually when I run into physical restrictions, I emotionally get really upset that I can't do what I need to do. And it's nice to be able to not feel like the world is coming to an end because my plans didn't come to fruition or whatever.

THERAPIST: Is it? [00:16:42]

CLIENT: Yeah. So that's pretty good.

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: Like I said, I'm starting to be able to, when getting feedback that I don't agree with, not internalize it so much. I'm not saying it isn't, but it's not internalizing as much as it used to. I had a bit of feedback given to me last week that was extremely it was something that would really upset me. But instead, the way that I reacted to it was, "I don't think you understand what you're telling me," instead of, "Oh my god. What the hell's wrong with me?"

A coworker who said the phrase, like, you know, "At work you're kind of projecting really lowmen (ph) behavior." And I said, you know, "Are we talking, like, death of a salesman really lonely?" They're like, "Yeah." And they said (inaudible 17:52). "Okay, well, I'm just going to -" Instead of me reacting to it, I'm like, "It's been a while since I've read that. I'm going to go back and look at this, and we'll talk later."

And immediately, like, instead of me going, "What the fuck?" They think I'm, like, going to kill myself or I'm, like, deluding myself or something like that. Instead of me going, "Well, how I am going to keep doing this?" I'm doing this whole I don't think that they're reporting the things that they need. I think that they're, like, almost, like, a mal-prop (ph) of metaphor. Like, maybe it's a different (inaudible 18:22) they're talking about. Like, that is so much different than the way I would have been. Like, oh my god. I'm acting like I'm going to go home and kill myself?

THERAPIST: Right, I see.

CLIENT: Instead of being like, "Oh, I think that they just don't understand what they're saying, like -"

THERAPIST: They don't know what they're talking about.

CLIENT: They don't know what they're talking about. They're referring a completely different storyline or something.

THERAPIST: Right.

CLIENT: And also, me just saying, "Hey, it's been a long time since I've read -" instead of me also going, like, asking more questions, just being like, "I'm going to review what I remember from this, and then we'll talk later." Which was actually me thinking, "I just want to get away from this conversation because I think that they're an idiot," (laughter) you know?

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: Because that would have been something that really, really would have affected me earlier, a lot. I still don't know what they're thinking.

THERAPIST: (inaudible 19:14)

CLIENT: But I'm -

THERAPIST: (inaudible 19:16)

CLIENT: I would normally, like, beg them (inaudible 19:20). I've just decided that, whatever it is, they don't know what they're talking about. And I don't want to get into more details because, you know, all it's going to do is make me second-guess myself. I don't think I'm acting like I'm suicidal or that I I mean, maybe burnt out. That might have been what they were trying to say, but it's really creepy because I don't think I felt suicidal in my life. This is not one of those times, you know?

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: And it's never been, like, suicidal like that I'm going to go jump into the river. It's been like, "Well, if I got hit, it wouldn't be a bad thing," you know. But I don't still think that that's what happening. But to me, that was kind of I didn't think about it that much until I talk about. Normally, I would obsess over that kind of stuff.

THERAPIST: Right. Yeah, I know (inaudible 20:11).

CLIENT: Yeah. I've been getting things like that. Working for a store that really is into, like, giving a lot of feedback to people, sometimes people are just so, like, (inaudible 20:24) to say this, but they don't really know what shit they're saying to people. Like, what? You know. I don't know. It does happen a lot, where, like, people will say something [like this] (ph). So, like, they're so into trying to tell someone something that they feel is insightful that they don't realize that they're not really saying anything at all. They just so obsessed with (inaudible 20:46) trying to be deep kind of thing, but really, what you're saying is not relevant. And the fact that I can step back and see that that way. Big deal.

THERAPIST: Good thing (inaudible 21:03) big deal.

CLIENT: Now, mind you, if I got it from the right person, maybe, like, the right person being someone who really knew how to push my buttons, I can't say it won't be that way. Steps.

THERAPIST: Well, it's a start anyway.

CLIENT: Steps.

THERAPIST: Yeah, absolutely. Good.

CLIENT: So, you know.

THERAPIST: It must have been a big relief.

CLIENT: Yeah. It's progress.

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: I don't know. I just need to (ph) I want to get back to being normal again. I don't mean normal like other people, but normal me. I just I don't know. Like I said, I just (pause) I was talking about to my mom about this, actually, a few weeks ago, about this. And she's like, "What if -"

THERAPIST: (inaudible 21:57) over the last year.

CLIENT: Yeah, it has. I mean, (pause) -

THERAPIST: With a bunch of things that on their own would be incredibly hard. I mean, your health. Stuff with Mike's addiction. Financial stress.

CLIENT: Yeah. I mean, the thing though is that the financial stress is still exactly the same, but I can deal with it. You know, not deal with it as in, like, cope with it but, like, in it's not in my every single moment.

THERAPIST: That's great (ph).

CLIENT: And so, I don't mean to sound pessimistic about saying the fact that I don't necessarily know if this is going to continue. But if it does, great. But for now, I just and this is sort of having had, physically, a point where you get your hopes really built up because you have a couple of good days in a row, I won't emotionally let myself think that everything's [really getting there] (ph). It's not like me being pessimistic. I mean, It feels like it is, but it isn't. It's more like I need to live in the moment and just appreciate what I've got, and then tomorrow is a different, like, story, you know. (Pause) It's hard, you know. It's hard to know if it really is, you know, overall getting better, but it feels like it. I'm not counting on it, but it feels like it.

THERAPIST: Good.

CLIENT: One thing, like, [worth mentioning] (ph). My mom mentioned to me a few weeks ago that kind of it's been sort of in my mind, where she says, "So you want to get back to your old self. What are you going to do if your old self is really super dysfunctional, like, (laughter) and not socially healthy?" And [I said] (ph), "I don't know," but I said, "But I'll at least be happy." (Laughter) You know, maybe it was a little bit, you know, not especially healthy behavior or dysfunctional behavior, but I was I felt okay.

THERAPIST: It looks like it worked pretty well for you.

CLIENT: Yeah.

THERAPIST: You were happy and you had a lot of the things you wanted in your life, and you were good to the people around you.

CLIENT: I know, I know. But it's a good question. I mean, I always lived my life in the extremes of things, you know. And she's right, that maybe, like, what you see as bad (ph) is maybe not I guess what she's trying to say is that, you know, in this ridiculous, like, in her super-wise, Russian, like, ridiculous, like, philosophy of maybe what you're going for is actually the best thing for you. Like, what you've been striving to get back to isn't necessarily what's the best thing for you in general. You know what I mean? But (pause) it doesn't keep me from still wanting to be that way, you know? I still want to be that way. And (pause) I'm not sure if I would feel happy. I mean, I would but I don't think I would feel happy otherwise, you know.

(Pause) You know, they always talk about things like work-life balance and this and stuff. In my old life, honestly, I would have been unhappy with work-life balance. I was, you know, having the time of my life when we were at the end of our deadline and I was, you know, at work for days on end, you know. Because [I knew that I did] (ph), you know. And then, you know, right afterwards, we would you know, because of the fact that you worked a whole lot, have days and days and days off or whatever. But (pause) I kind of thrived on it, you know? (Pause) I don't know. I'm not really sure if I'm (pause) I'm sure if I were still missing something, if I wanted (ph) to, like, compromise or see (ph) moderation in my life in certain things, you know? [00:26:24]

And I feel weird saying that, but I do. I think that (pause) I think that I do, you know (pause) it's what makes me happy, you know. So I want to be a workaholic, dammit. (Laughter) I'm serious. (Pause) And I can't right now. (Sighs) I don't know.

(Silence)

But I guess I'll see what happens.

(Silence)

(inaudible 28:27) a moment of just not having anything kind of in mind to say (laughter) at all. (Pause) (inaudible 28:44) Yeah, still don't know what to say at that point, you know. But it has been considerably better.

THERAPIST: Good.

(Silence)

CLIENT: I don't know what to say. I'm sorry.

THERAPIST: (Laughter) It's okay. That's unusual for you.

CLIENT: Sometimes. It is usually when I am so (pause) overwhelmed that I'm burnt out and I don't have anything to say, you know.

THERAPIST: (inaudible 30:04), "Look, I'm just exhausted. (inaudible 30:07)"?

CLIENT: Yeah.

THERAPIST: Is that's what's going on?

CLIENT: No.

THERAPIST: Yeah, I didn't think so.

CLIENT: Yeah, I feel like I just don't know what to say about the whole thing right now, at least. Like you (ph) said, I'll wait and see. But (pause) I'm also, like, I said it a little bit here. I'm a little cautious.

THERAPIST: Sure.

CLIENT: (Pause) [Because I just want] (ph) I've been wanting things to turn, even just catch a break for so long that (pause) I don't want to (pause) be devastated, you know.

THERAPIST: (inaudible 31:19)

CLIENT: Let's (ph) not hope as much as praying all that energy in it, you know.

THERAPIST: I see.

CLIENT: But yeah, (inaudible 31:44) just make plans for the future, like things are going to well, but not, like, over, like, ambitious. (inaudible 31:50) for devastating myself, but also just not, like, overdoing it.

THERAPIST: Yeah. (inaudible 31:57) taking the classes, is to take things that sort of, in a way, couldn't really matter.

CLIENT: Yeah.

THERAPIST: I mean, that matter to you, and [you would] (ph) get something out of it, but that aren't tied to work stuff.

CLIENT: Yeah. I yeah. Not even just work stuff as much as even intellectual credit-related stuff. Does that make sense? So if it was something where, you know, (inaudible 32:32) sense of ego, it's something that I should excel at or should be interested in, but I've overwhelmed with it, I don't feel bad if I can't do it, you know?

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: And, like, there are some really cool things that I would love to sit in on that I think that if I ended up having a flair and go to them, I think that I would emotionally beat myself up about it because that would be something I really want to do or I really would, like -

THERAPIST: (inaudible 33:10)

CLIENT: feel like I should be able to do.

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: (Sighs) So I guess, you know. And I realize to make it, like, low-stake stuff, like, you know, renaissance art or something. I mean, it can be engineering-type stuff but, you know, something that I do like those kind of things too, but I need to make it something where it won't break my heart and be like, "Okay, so there's a speaker who is, like, someone who's, like, my big hero. And if I don't go there, I'm going to feel bad, but yeah, I can't drag myself out of bed." I felt a lot of disappointment when I haven't been able to do things like that, you know.

I sort of have to make it so that it's not on the menu to be disappointed, if that makes sense. If I don't take the class, then I won't feel bad that I can't (inaudible 34:11), I guess is what I'm trying to say. But (pause) (inaudible 34:22) and I'll go from there.

(Silence)

Not really into this at all, but I do want to ask. My billing stuff. I haven't been getting any checks yet in the mail. Is that -

THERAPIST: Oh.

CLIENT: Because I've been wanting to -

THERAPIST: Okay, I think right. I think you're good. They're sending to me.

CLIENT: Oh, they are sending them to you? Okay. Because if they do send them to me, I would be happy to just sign them right over to you.

THERAPIST: Right. Yeah, I can double-check later but, yeah.

CLIENT: I just want to make sure that you're getting paid.

THERAPIST: (Crosstalk 00:35:11) Yeah. They're sending them to me.

CLIENT: Okay.

THERAPIST: (inaudible 35:17) mention it.

CLIENT: Okay. No big deal. I just want to make sure that you get paid.

THERAPIST: (inaudible 35:21) I'm still getting checks directly from them, instead of them sending them to you. I can explain that if you want.

CLIENT: Not really, but I just want to make sure that you're getting paid.

THERAPIST: I am, yeah. I'm good, thank you.

CLIENT: Good, okay.

THERAPIST: Thank you, I appreciate it.

CLIENT: I'd like to be able to make sure that the creditors that actually I can pay (laughter) get paid.

THERAPIST: Yeah. You're A-OK, as far as (inaudible 35:41).

CLIENT: Okay. And then, I don't we'll see what happens in May. Like May 15th-ish is when I was originally planning to try and come back twice a week. But depending on how things go, I want to plan for coming back on the 15th. But if I don't feel like I need to come in as often, I you know what I mean? I'm going to plan [kind of] (ph) but not -

THERAPIST: Absolutely.

CLIENT: So, I guess -

THERAPIST: Just two questions. I mean, you should do whatever you want to do, and just let me know.

CLIENT: But obviously, you also know what would benefit me more, like, from a professional point of view.

THERAPIST: Sure. I'm happy to give my two cents whenever you would like that.

CLIENT: Okay. Well, how about now (inaudible 36:26)?

THERAPIST: (Laughter) I could do now.

CLIENT: Okay. And I may ask again, that's okay. Right now, I mean, do you think that it would still be beneficial to be coming in twice a week?

THERAPIST: (Pause) It's hard to say at the moment because things seem different. I mean, it seemed to me that you were sort of had been using this in a couple of ways. One, you know, when you've been pretty well, to just, like, come in. I think it's three, actually. One, to sort of just come in and talk about stuff when you're feeling bad and just kind of get it off your chest. Another, to get more comfortable with the idea that it does not actually mean you have been defeated or are doing a bad job if you're having a hard time or you're frustrated or upset. Like, those do not necessarily reflect poorly on you.

And then the other, I think, is to sort of explore some stuff relating to, like, confidence, particularly sort of in action and judgments from other people, and kind of, like, looking to, wait. You know, these people are treating me like this or (inaudible 37:52) that. And, like, is it exciting or it bothered me or, you know, let me get my head around it, that kind of thing. And (pause) it seemed, due to the sort of (inaudible 38:16) how bad you were feeling, that it was probably helpful to come in more than once a week. But, you know, if you're feeling better and also getting out to do other things, you know, maybe that doesn't matter as much, unless some things pop up that you want to [be working on here] (ph). But I'm not sure yet (ph).

CLIENT: Yeah. So just sort of wait and see?

THERAPIST: Yeah.

CLIENT: Okay. The big thing is, for me, that I don't really have a way of being able to gauge what is and what is not beneficial, because I'm stuck in that system. I can't step outside of it (inaudible 38:56).

THERAPIST: Yeah, sure.

CLIENT: That, and amazingly enough, sometimes when I am at my lowest, I will try and I don't really I've been really making an effort not to do it here, but self-examination is not especially something that I'd want to do. So, you know, like, in terms of if I'm feeling really, really bad, like, the idea of having to put that kind of emotional work into that would be something that I would actively not here, but, like, in life. (inaudible 39:33) I've actually been trying quite hard not to here. So I have to wonder if my perspective would be skewed. Like, "Oh yeah, I don't need to be here," you know?

THERAPIST: I see. I mean, the point really is for it to be helpful. It has seemed to me that at various times you've sort of had a sense of ways in which it has been or -

CLIENT: It has been. It's been very helpful.

THERAPIST: Well, good. So I guess (pause) I would say [you have reason not to trust your instinct] (ph) on that as well. I mean, I'll give you my opinion too.

CLIENT: Okay. I'm just thinking about the whole concept of, you know, asking a little kid, you know, do they have to do something and then be like, "You have to eat your vegetables now." (Laughter) You know?

THERAPIST: I see, yes.

CLIENT: Or, you know, [I would need any more] (ph) vaccinations.

THERAPIST: (inaudible 40:28) really good [for me as ice cream sundaes] (ph).

CLIENT: Yeah, exactly. So sometimes, it's the path of least resistance. And I know that about myself. I'm really trying hard not to do that here, but I do know that that is I don't think it's all that unusual to be like, "Okay, you know." No one actually goes out of their way to try and get a root canal.

THERAPIST: Right. (inaudible 40:57)

CLIENT: Yeah, but there's an awful I mean, as the person who I think I talked about how I was living in dread of having to go to the dentist, and has, you know, now crowns and root canals and things like that. I knew I had to. Did I want to? No. And the path of least resistance was not going to the dentist. Now for years but, like, for months, when I needed to.

THERAPIST: Yeah. (inaudible 41:25)

CLIENT: Okay. I'm good to go.

THERAPIST: Okay. Well, I'm glad that things are happening. That's terrific.

END TRANSCRIPT

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Abstract / Summary: Client was proud of how her workplace handled a recent crisis, wishes her physical issues would abate and she could resume a more normal life.
Field of Interest: Counseling & Therapy
Publisher: Alexander Street Press
Content Type: Session transcript
Format: Text
Page Count: 1
Page Range: 1-1
Publication Year: 2014
Publisher: Alexander Street
Place Published / Released: Alexandria, VA
Subject: Counseling & Therapy; Psychology & Counseling; Health Sciences; Theoretical Approaches to Counseling; Physical issues; Work; Teoria do Aconselhamento; Teorías del Asesoramiento; Dissatisfaction; Finances and accounting; Work behavior; Spousal relationships; Psychoanalytic Psychology; Psychotherapy
Clinician: Anonymous
Keywords and Translated Subjects: Teoria do Aconselhamento; Teorías del Asesoramiento
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