TRANSCRIPT OF AUDIO FILE:

BEGIN TRANSCRIPT:

CLIENT: What’s up? Yeah, so the whole health insurance thing is all fucked up.

THERAPIST: How so?

CLIENT: I just couldn’t afford it, so the deadline passed. I just couldn’t so it sucks. Well it sucks and it doesn’t. I mean it’s like $490 a month, so even if I wasn’t paying which is very nice.

THERAPIST: It was $490? I thought you said it was $300.

CLIENT: No, it was $480; it was in the 4s. No, the 3 was the when I called directly and yeah, it was like $390, $380, whatever, for the if you go directly through Brown Pilgrim. But the COBRA was $490 or 4 something.

THERAPIST: I totally not I misheard you then. I thought you said it was $380 versus $390 before. [00:01:01.21] So that makes a big difference.

CLIENT: No, no. It was in the $400s.

THERAPIST: [inaudible]

CLIENT: Yeah. Well and even if it even with the private even $390, it’s like I get $400 a week. It’s just it’s a clusterfuck.

THERAPIST: You could get on the state insurance then.

CLIENT: So yeah, so now I just I’m doing the application today, again, for whatever it was. Yeah, which means things here stay the way they are. Okay, so for now, we’re okay.

THERAPIST: ‘Til next summer.

CLIENT: Well yeah, hopefully. Jesus. Yeah, hopefully way before then things change. Well they kind of have to. [00:02:02.15] I mean I only have unemployment til whatever, another 5, 4 months, whatever it is. So, yes, there’s lots going on. I can’t even describe like how I’ve been feeling. It’s crazy. So the last few days I had a terrible stomach thing going on. Partly, I think, brought on because I made the dudes at Leo’s make me a bacon, egg and cheese between two pancakes, and by the time I got halfway through it, I was already not feeling so great. But then I started getting a pain which I’ve never like a pain over here, and it lasted for like til yesterday. Thank God today it seems to be better, but and I was like well, I’m sure it wasn’t didn’t help what I ate. But I think it’s also like stress, probably. [00:03:02.09] I’m like really I’ve never felt this on the one hand this like hungry or motivated to make real money. But also I’ve never been this broke, in a long time. So that’s kind of a weird place to be in. It doesn’t feel so good. But this is what I the interesting part of what’s going on. I don’t feel depressed really. You know what I mean? Like I just feel super fucking motivated. Like I’ve been looking up things like joining a clinical trial. You know what I mean? Ways to make cash. You know what I mean? Like I totally understand now in a way where my family I’ve always kind of known this, but now that I’m in this position, I kind of see where my family or people like immigrants this country’s all about having a business. [00:04:10.06] It really is a land of if you can just work your ass off and have a good idea, it totally is a land of opportunity, in the sense that like because I was saying okay, what so I’m going to like Levi’s is hiring, I just saw. So I’m going to go work at Levi’s with a bunch of 25 year olds for $8 an hour? Know what I mean? Like I totally understand that mentality of well, good for you. But that’s just a way to stress yourself out and really still make no money. For a place like Boston that’s just not it’s not doing anything. It’s just a little pocket change I guess or whatever. But...

CLIENT: It’s not no money, but it’s not a lot of money.

THERAPIST: It’s no money for someone like in my position I think. If you’re 25...

CLIENT: Versus having no money, it’s money.

THERAPIST: You know what I mean. It’s money but it’s money that will just get you to next week. [00:05:01.23] It’s not money that will do anything, other than just get you through the week.

CLIENT: But it does get you through the week.

THERAPIST: But I’m getting through the week, right? I mean if it’s just about bare bones getting through, I’m doing that. So but like I feel motivated to do more than that. You know what I mean? I’m really like enough is enough. For someone with my skills and talents and...

CLIENT: That’s not good enough.

THERAPIST: Yeah, like this is ridiculous. You know what I mean? So I’ve been like even I’m not done with giving up like buying a house. I was like how can this not be possible. It’s got to be possible. So I’ve been scouring like finding private investors. It’s called hard money. There are lots of people that have money that want a good return on their money. A bank’s going to give you 2%, 1%, whatever it is. Anyone who has money already knows about investing, if they have a brain, so if someone comes to them, says look, I’m going to buy this three family, I’m going to give you 10% return, 20% return, here are all the numbers, here’s how it’s going to work. [00:06:10.20] I have a house. And obviously we’re going to buy a house so that’s your you’re going to take the house if I can’t pay you. You know what I mean? These things are kind of it’s just about finding that money. You know what I mean? And that’s not impossible at all. I mean I know people, a lot of these fucking immigrants, that’s how they’ve done it. How do you think they got Leo’s place? They literally asked all their friends for money. So like I’m just tired of I’ve got to just make shit happen now. I’m tired of this nonsense of and even with like the life coaching, I do need a little startup money. Like I can’t I need the office space. It’s only like $300 a month for that share. I don’t have $300. I can’t just put that out. [00:07:01.09] But it’s a catch-22. I can’t start getting clients and then scramble for a place to meet. And even like one of my friend was like and also like a business address. I don’t want to use my house as a business address. I mean you don’t know what kind of people you’re going to deal with. I just don’t want them to know where I live. So I was like you know what? I’m just going to maybe just ask one of my friends or two of my friends that look, I need like $500 or $1000 and I’ll give you back $1200 or whatever. I just I’m starting a business. (pause)

It just seems absurd to be honest. It’s not even depressing anymore it’s just absurd. So in that way I’m not like skipping down the street. [00:08:04.26] I mean I’ve been really stressed, but it’s a motivated stress. I’ve been up late at night looking at a gazillion fucking websites, figuring out which one’s a scam. You know what I mean? There’s a lot of things out there, like how to buy a house with no money down. That’s bullshit. You need fucking cash to buy a house. At the same time there are a lot of really good blogs. I mean people do it. This is a real thing. So there’s that. I’ve been looking into like Brown, like making some money on clinical trials or, I don’t know, fucking medical trials. I don’t know, just to make some cash man. One really historic thing that happened, I still kind of don’t believe it, but I guess it happened. [00:09:00.07] Yesterday I had I don’t know what made me do this, but I was like you know what? I’m going to go I’m on creditkarma.com. I don’t know if you know that site It’s a really I recommend it. I mean I don’t know, but I really recommend it. It’s a really good site. It’s very it’s laid out in a very simple, user friendly way with your credit score and all your accounts, whatever, all this shit. So yeah, my credit’s bad, whatever. But it had improved a little bit after the consolidation and all that. And for some reason I didn’t check with everything else going on, I hadn’t so I checked it and I was like whoa, it’s almost fair now. They have poor, fair, good, great, whatever. I’m like holy shit, it’s almost fair. That’s awesome. And right next to it it said hey, your credit’s improved. You’re qualified for certain credit cards, blah, blah, blah. [00:10:01.02] I was like what? And I was like you know what? That would help if I just had that. I mean that’s how a lot of these idiots do these if I just had my if I still had my AmX right now I wouldn’t need someone to give me $1000, you know what I mean? I’d just do it just like I was doing it. Just pay them back. So anyway I went on there and I got approved for I mean for $300 credit limit but that’s a huge deal. That’s...

THERAPIST: That’s also not nothing.

CLIENT: Well and that’s a lot of something because that means I can fucking quickly just do little things and pay off keep improving my credit. Buy gas, pay it off. Buy this, pay it off. So that was I don’t know. I mean I still kind of don’t it almost seemed too I’m so used to being rejected with that shit and everything I was like really? I don’t know. But so that felt good. [00:11:02.03] But it also did make I was like I can’t believe this, I had anyway.

THERAPIST: Had what?

CLIENT: Just it’s I’m still like I haven’t like that AmX thing really fucked with me. That really pissed me off. To have a credit card where you are paying every month and then to just have it be like oops, sorry, we looked at your credit and no credit card for you. It’s like you’re that’s such an asshole thing to do to people. Anyway, but anyway, so now I’m like that’s really awesome. That makes me feel because I was like oh, I’m going to have to get a secured card. But you’ve got to put the money into that to you’ve got to tie up your cash to get a secured that’s really cool. Unsecured. That’s I can’t ask that’s fantastic. That means I have just a little bit more, a few more months, hopefully, it should be better. So I don’t know. [00:12:06.22] Really a few people have been asking me like so have you launched your business. And really I don’t have an excuse anymore. I am ready to launch it. I didn’t send you the website, right?

THERAPIST: Mm-mm.

CLIENT: No? I’m sorry. I wanted you to look at it. But launch it and do what? If people if even one person calls me and wants an appointment, where am I going to fucking meet them? Like I don’t want to do this half assed. I’m not going to meet people at Levi’s or in my house or so I need to, I don’t know. I need to see if one of my friends might be willing to spot me. So it’s a lot. I don’t know. It’s a lot that’s been on my mind. Oh, and Julia has cancer. [00:13:05.08]

THERAPIST: Oh, really.

CLIENT: They found something in her breast, and I guess she’d been having like really serious back pain and they’re worried it might be in her bones or something. Unbelievable. I guess these things I’m trying to maybe they can do something and she’s hopefully. Yeah.

THERAPIST: That’s horrible.

CLIENT: Yeah. So (pause) I didn’t get in touch with that Allison chick since I was here. [00:14:12.19] Today she got in touch with me. That’s a whole other fucking saga. Meanwhile I went on a date with this chick. I don’t know. I don’t even know what to make anymore of myself in relation to broads. I don’t. I had a date with this chick who I always thought was kind of hot. And again, like we went out, she took me back to her place, it was all very we didn’t have sex but it was there was a lot of stuff that happened. And now she’s like you know, I haven’t felt this way in a long time. I’m like what the fuck is happening here. [00:15:02.01] Because I’m not I don’t think I’m into it in terms of a serious thing.

THERAPIST: Why not?

CLIENT: She’s got a really big head, kind of. I know that sounds really...

THERAPIST: Literally?

CLIENT: Yeah, kind of. She’s a taller girl. She’s a little taller than me so and the rest of her’s pretty awesome. She’s just looks a little disproportionate, and I kind of can’t get over that. It’s pretty she’s pretty, just not it’s not for me I think. I know that sounds awful, I know it sounds awful, but you know what you can deal with and what you can’t.

THERAPIST: That’s how you work.

CLIENT: What do you mean?

THERAPIST: When you say that you know. You say that as if that’s the way everybody works [inaudible] standard checklist.

CLIENT: That’s not a standard I mean I think everybody has something that they can’t I mean look at all the fucking women that are like oh, I won’t date a dude that’s like under 5’9”. They just won’t. [00:16:00.16] I mean there are a lot of people that have there’s one there’s something that you just you can’t really get...

THERAPIST: But something is different than a long checklist, including like I never heard you mention that she can’t have a big head.

CLIENT: Well because it never has been an issue. But in this case, maybe because she’s already she’s a taller girl, so it’s just again it’s all about proportions. I just feel a little bit I mean it’s not just that. It’s also I think just the circle her circle of people. I’ve gotten more cognizant of that when I get together with someone. What is their circle. And her circle let’s say we got into something serious. Are those the people I want to hang out with? Not really. They’re not bad people but they’re definitely I would just be wasting my time a little bit. They’re her a lot of her she’s pretty cool. [00:17:02.26] But a lot of her friends are in these stupid cabaret things. These chicks that do all this you know what I’m talking about? There’s a whole trend now of cabaret where basically it’s a titillating porno but we’re all at a theater and it’s supposedly you know what I mean? It’s just fucking retarded. It’s for women that have a lot of issues that they would just be making real money stripping instead of pretending that they’re artists or whatever. So she has a lot of friends like that. I don’t know. Like there’s just something I just I don’t see it. You know what I mean? I don’t see and now I’m really it’s such a small fucking town I’m very careful now. It’s like if we kind of date for a while and it doesn’t work out, then it’s like I know these people. And I’m just worried about that. You know what I mean? I’m so sick of that everywhere I go I just know people. [00:18:01.24] I don’t know. So there’s that. Meanwhile, out of the blue, on okay stupid I struck up a correspondence with this chick in Delaware, okay. At first I was like hmmm. But we started corresponding and she’s like really, really cool, like really, really cool. We talked on the phone a couple of times, like she just lost her dad like a year ago. I don’t know. There’s just a lot of I don’t know. We just have this weird connection. It’s really weird. So yeah, so now we’re I’m kind of like in this place like ah, you know what I mean? It’s five hours away, but on the other hand I’m like but you can’t you don’t know who you’re going to meet that is worth some effort. [00:19:12.04] I don’t know. She’s just a really cool person. There’s something about her that’s like she’s artsy and all that shit, but there’s something very down to earth and not pretentious and very genuine. She’s like oh, I listened to your music; it’s so beautiful. And she went and watched me on Vimeo doing my reading, and she’s like you’re really a talented person. What an interesting person. Just very there’s something, what’s the word, effusive or that just seems genuine. It doesn’t seem like she’s so I don’t know. So then there’s...

THERAPIST: [inaudible] just to tell you she looked up your stuff and...

CLIENT: Yeah, it’s just a sweet thing.

THERAPIST: There with her interests.

CLIENT: Oh yeah, yeah. No, she’s been no, we’ve both been pretty she’s like I’m not going to lie. [00:20:03.23] You’re my top okay stupid person. You’re so I don’t know. So there’s that. Who the fuck knows. And then all these things then bring me back to money. Do you know what I mean? It’s like I might drive down there next week to see her because I’m like I think I need something like that. I’m unemployed. All my friends are telling me to enjoy it. You know what I mean? And I haven’t done shit. It’s just gas, and it’s Delaware. I’m sure I can get a motel for $50 or something like that. I don’t know. But that reminds me of you know what I mean? If I had my AmX even that. That one little thing. It wouldn’t even be a question. That gives you some breathing room to do a couple of things that are not about hard cash. [00:21:01.20] Anyway. And also kind of the embarrassment a little bit. I don’t want to tell a girl I just met that I’m oh, and the absurdity. I’m so I’m literally so I had $6 in my account yesterday by the way. I got my unemployment today, but I’m already like all right, by the time five days go by I’m going to be back to the idea that I had $6 in my account but a three unit house that’s worth over $700,000 is that’s just it’s hard to take. You know what I mean? It’s just really hard to take. So just to be able to explain that. I don’t want to explain money. I don’t like talking about money, especially you’re getting to know people. It’s just not (pause)

THERAPIST: [inaudible] have a professional come that you can rely upon. [00:22:08.00]

CLIENT: Exactly.

THERAPIST: In a more regular way.

CLIENT: Exactly, that reflects my abilities. That’s what I’m realizing more and more. I can’t just oh it’s a job, I’ll take this job. Now I’ll take that job. It’s I’m it’s been like chicks. It’s just floating from one thing to another and not thinking about, wait a second, a) do I really want to do this every day; b) is it reflecting is the income and what I’m doing, just the activity, reflecting what the fuck I’m capable of and what my skills are, what I want to (pause) So, this is all to say, somehow, that I guess I could be more depressed than I am. [00:23:03.18] I don’t feel depressed. I just feel really motivated and at the most, like I said, I feel the stress and frustration of knowing like I feel really confident. I feel like this shit’s going to happen. You know what I mean? Now I’m just antsy. Like now I’m just about how do I make it happen sooner rather than later. I guess in a way that’s good. Yesterday I finally saw my uncle. He was over our house. So I told him. And I even liked the way I talked about it. Because definitely I think he was kind of skeptical. I could just kind of like and also, are immigrants or even just certain kinds of people, I think, other types really like oh, now he’s a life coach. [00:24:03.12] You know what I mean? I think I have a feeling my family or some members of my family or whatever, there probably is a little bit of a I’m so just not the conventional oh, now he’s in graduate school, oh, now he’s a writer, now like when is he going to make up his mind. All this shit. So there’s a little bit of that. But what I liked, though, was I didn’t care about any of that. The way I talked about it was so clear and confident and point by point. So...

THERAPIST: You could still feel clear and confident.

CLIENT: Yeah, I didn’t really even when I felt him a little bit like, whatever, I didn’t need the validation. I was like this is going to happen and whatever. And then as we talked he was like that sounds like a great idea. He’s like see, if you can make that in a place like Boston, he’s like, there’s a lot of money here. [00:25:00.22] If you could make that work. He’s like what a wonderful business. And it was weird. My mom was so yeah, it’s awesome. She’s like he’s so smart. All these years he studied so hard. He can finally like help people and also use his brain. And he’s such a good speaker. That’s so funny.

THERAPIST: She’s getting on board with it.

CLIENT: She’s it’s weird. She’s been on board since Dad told what is that. And I explained it to her. She’s like that sounds amazing. Who knows.

THERAPIST: So the next steps are pretty concrete ones then, actually.

CLIENT: I think the two things left that I want to do the website can always be tweaked. I feel like enough people have seen I mean I would love for you to see it, but enough people have seen it, I think, and they’ve all been very honest, so it’s good enough to start a business. To just start, you know what I mean? I think there should be maybe two forms. I just want to make sure my ass is covered. So even on the website I’m very clear about the whole section that’s what is life coaching really is. It really I wrote it in a way that what it isn’t. You know what I mean? So I really over and over it’s just not therapy. But there should be something that they sign that says I understand that this is not therapy. That’s one. And two, I think I need them to sign something that says this is a service and there are no guarantees. People can’t come back a month later and be like I saw this life coach and nothing happened. It doesn’t work that way. That’s like me it’s like suing a psychologist. These are it’s what you put into it, and there’s no it’s not like changing a muffler. [00:27:00.09] So I think those two things I want to I just don’t want any issues. And then just the space. And then well, and then also, I am kind of not sure how to get clients yet. I’m trying to figure that out. You know what I mean? Like on Facebook, whatever, but I’m trying to figure...

THERAPIST: [inaudible] you’re going to do any marketing.

CLIENT: Yeah, like how what’s in a way that’s not cheesy. I don’t know. I’m trying to figure that out. But I mean I figure with Facebook, I don’t know, I’ve got like 1500 friends or whatever it is. If we could start somewhere kind of. That’s all you need, one or two people. That was one of my uncle’s things. He’s such a businessman. He’s like well at that rate, he’s like really all you need is just a couple of clients and you’d just get the ball rolling. (pause)

THERAPIST: You don’t know anyone in the business. [00:28:15.17]

CLIENT: I do.

THERAPIST: Around town, you do?

CLIENT: I do, yeah, my friend Eva.

THERAPIST: Does she have an office?

CLIENT: Well, so she doesn’t work so she did everything. She works for a company. So she doesn’t work privately as a life coach. But she’s the one I think I told you was like I can get you a discount when you want to be certified and give me some tips and all that. Most of these people, like I said, do it by Skype and phone. And I just I guess I could start that way but that’s one...

THERAPIST: It’s a cheap way to start.

CLIENT: It’s a are you kidding?

THERAPIST: Even if you don’t want to do that in the long run.

CLIENT: Oh, are you kidding? My uncle’s like what? He’s like that’s amazing. He was like no overhead. But I just I am skeptical somehow. I don’t know. Maybe because I’m so used to this. [00:29:01.07] I’m like how could someone benefit from a phone call. I don’t but according to everything I’ve read it’s about convenience, comfort, the fact that this isn’t therapy. So it’s not this level of you know what I mean? It’s different. And that a lot of these people are successful people or they’re busy people or it’s actually easy for them to do it that way.

THERAPIST: I’ve certainly heard of it being over the phone a lot.

CLIENT: I couldn’t believe it. And yeah, they kind of emphasize that, actually. And as a matter of fact, now that you’re saying that, I don’t remember on these websites seeing an office address. You know what I mean? I just see like a contact me. But I don’t see like this is where my Hilliard Street or whatever. I guess, yeah. I guess I could just start and just but see, that’s where I worry if someone wanted to meet me in person then although I guess even then I could just make an appointment for like two weeks down the road or a week down the road and then just get my...

THERAPIST: [inaudible] then. [00:30:09.07]

CLIENT: Get my ass in gear and get the space, yeah. I didn’t think of it that way.

THERAPIST: Even if you said you did only phone work, that’s not unheard of in that field. I know someone down on the shore who only does phone.

CLIENT: Life coaching?

THERAPIST: Yeah. And Skype.

CLIENT: Oh, that’s cool. And they do well?

THERAPIST: Yeah, she has a thriving business.

CLIENT: Wow. And is...

THERAPIST: Her husband does it too. They do this together on the phone all day.

CLIENT: Are they like what’s is their background like all...

THERAPIST: She’s had a significant amount of training. I think she did a master’s degree in counseling, therapy or something like that. And I don’t know much you know more than I know about credentialing.

CLIENT: No, a lot of them that’s the crazy thing. [00:31:03.11] A lot of these websites, like the kind of not the bigger but the ones with the fancy websites and all that stuff, they’re definitely more I was telling my uncle that. I’m like because he asked me so like what is the credentialing or licensing, and I was like that’s the thing. A lot of these websites, when you look at their bio, it’s not they don’t even say anything in their bio. Abby has been life coaching for ten years. And she like...

THERAPIST: It’s not credentialed.

CLIENT: Yeah, there’s nothing specific. There’s just this nice picture of Abby that she’s been in the business for ten years and has successful whatever. Like nothing says where she went to school, where she and then there’ll be some other people that are like I have a master’s in it’s a hodgepodge of...

THERAPIST: It’s not a regulated profession.

CLIENT: Interesting. Okay, so that means I guess I could yeah I could start.

THERAPIST: I was also thinking about that because if there were someone whose office you knew or someone else in some other field, sometimes in this field people sublease space to other people.

CLIENT: My friend Lucy...

THERAPIST: For a very small amount. Not $10 an hour for example. So if you wanted two hours from someone you could pay for that and that would cost less than your $300. [00:32:14.22]

CLIENT: My friend Lucy, she’s a social worker. She said that too. She said they have offices for like $8, $10. I could yeah, that’s a good idea. I could do that.

THERAPIST: It takes some looking at. You’d have to kind of get in the network to figure out...

CLIENT: Yeah, but it wouldn’t be that I mean I know enough people who are either doing this or social workers or whatever. It just seems like I guess it wouldn’t be that difficult. Because it sounds like it’s probably the kind of thing where someone just has to vouch for you so you’re not going to destroy someone’s office or something like that.

THERAPIST: Yeah, I think the hardest thing will be finding someone who’s wanting someone to be in the office for two hours versus having someone oh I need someone part time. I want 20 hours a week.

CLIENT: Oh, I see.

THERAPIST: That seems at least my experience that’s been so you’d have to look for a while, but that could be something you start asking around about. [00:33:03.16]

CLIENT: Yeah, I could even say all right, fine, give me five hours a week, ten hours a week.

THERAPIST: Which would still be five would be $200 if it were $10 an hour. $200 a month instead of $300. Work Saturdays. Sometimes people have a few hours they’re open on a Saturday; they’re not in the office.

CLIENT: But yeah, no, that’s a good I guess now I should really think about how do these people advertise. Because I haven’t figured that out actually. Their websites are there but I don’t know where they’re you know what I mean? I don’t know if they just, like me, just kind of scrapped in the beginning and now it’s just people tell people.

THERAPIST: I think that’s often why typically it takes people a couple of years to get really feeling like they’re making an income.

CLIENT: I mean I know one thing I could do is tap into the Brown there’s alumni, whatever, bulletins, things like that I could just I’m here. [00:34:05.27]

THERAPIST: All the places where people might be looking for that. You can start sending your bio or your card and...

CLIENT: Yeah, that’s the other thing. Yeah, get business cards.

THERAPIST: What’s it like to be talking about this?

CLIENT: It’s kind of...

THERAPIST: Nuts and bolts.

CLIENT: It’s crazy. It’s kind of I mean it’s awesome. Like I said I’m just I’m antsy. You know what I mean? I just again it’s like the guy in the coma that woke up and now he’s so lucid and now it’s just about like not even catching up, just like I don’t know. I just feel such confidence that whatever these couple of things I’ve been that they are going to happen, that now it’s just about how do I not dilly dally, and how do I find the most efficient, best way to make these things happen faster, rather than it feels good. [00:35:11.24] No, it’s great. And also I like to get feedback. I want that’s why I’ve been asking people. I’m totally when I did the website I’m like just fucking tell me. Take this [inaudible] I don’t give a shit. I just want to get this thing going.

THERAPIST: I mean I can already imagine my feedback, without seeing your website, would be probably the first thing would be just to do it, just to start.

CLIENT: That’s it.

THERAPIST: I’m sure it looks great. You know what I mean? I don’t think it’s going to be a matter of oh you should really take that word out and then you can get started.

CLIENT: I guess. I just I do feel like it’s you want to put forward such a profe I want to make sure it’s professional. I don’t know. I’m overthinking it. I’m definitely overthinking it. But...

THERAPIST: You’re not trusting yourself enough.

CLIENT: I mean I’ve never started a business. And this is a business where I do feel responsible. People are going to come to me for it’s kind of a big deal. [00:36:05.21] You know what I mean? And I know I’ll be really good at it but yeah, it’s I feel a little nervous and but yeah, no, I think it is time to just suck it up and make there’s not much else I can do. It’s just time to find clients and just ramp it up. I think I also feel a little shy. Like on Facebook I feel a little I don’t know. I still feel a little bit like shy. I don’t know.

THERAPIST: How so?

CLIENT: I kind of don’t like the word life coach. I don’t like what it’s called. You know what I mean? It’s like yeah, I’m a life I don’t know. I think I’ve got to you know what I’m saying? I feel a little no?

THERAPIST: I don’t know what that means for you. Something...

CLIENT: Sounds a little foofy or it sounds like I’m trying to be on Oprah or something. [00:37:03.16] I don’t know, life coach just sounds...

THERAPIST: Maybe it’s hard to take into reality that that is what you’re talking about. That is what you’re going to be doing.

CLIENT: It is. And when I talk to people about it I’m fine. There’s something about announcing it to like 1500 people on Facebook that I feel a little wacky about. But no, I think it’s time. It’s time. And I think it’s also time for me to remember that everyone I tell about this is they all think it’s a great some random chick yesterday at the bar after practice, she asked all of us what we do, whatever, and I told her. She’s like oh my God, I needed you like three months ago. I mean it’s I think it’s definitely between this my uncle said yesterday too, he was telling my mom, he’s like because my mom’s like why would rich people want to see you. [00:38:00.09] It’s that old like when you have a lot of money, what problems do you have. You know what I mean? My uncle’s like well, most rich people have psychologists already, so he’s like what Arto’s doing would just be the other part of that. That one is for their mental health and the other one is for feeling stuck about their future plans, about things they’re trying to accomplish. It’s kind of perfect for around here. That’s my mom was like really, wow.

THERAPIST: So in terms of life coaching, how are we doing here?

CLIENT: Good. Oh, you’re amazing. Are you kidding me? You got both bases covered.

THERAPIST: I don’t know. I mean I was thinking about you’ve said a number of times oh, I have a hard time taking my own advice, feeling stuck.

CLIENT: But that’s getting better. But look how much that’s improved. [00:39:04.19] I mean I get $400 in a place like this I get $400 a week. I got fired from my job. I mean this is a lot. All the shit I’ve been overcoming here, it’s a lot. You know what I mean? I have my days. You know what I mean? But like I’m just not depressed really. Yesterday when I went to practice I still felt kind of wacky, whatever. It was hot. It gets hot as hell in our practice room. Played great. We had a great set. We have a show Friday. I’m not nervous about it. I’m just I mean like there’s something going on that I feel it’s not about being happy or depressed. It’s just about I don’t know if I’m totally content, but I’m content at the fact that I’m not losing my mind or a depressed case. [00:40:03.07] And that really things aren’t that bad. I mean the fact is it’s only $400 but somehow I’m getting by. I don’t ask my mom for anything. Like I don’t need I’m not asking friends for loans because I don’t have any money to buy groceries. You know what I mean? Like I’m making it work one way or the other. And I’m the most important thing is that I’m that’s the part about taking your own advice. Like I’m motivated to make shit happen. No one’s stopping me from accomplishing these things. It’s a little difficult and it’s frustrating as soon as I feel like I don’t have help or just I’m kind of alone in it. And it’s hard to talk to people about these things, your friends. But that’s so what. That’s there are people working at McDonald’s who have literally that’s all they have. [00:41:02.16]

THERAPIST: That’s actually the part that I if I feel anxious for you about this particular path in life coaching, it does have to do [inaudible] what training is going to end up feeling missing once you’re in it. If you run a third session with somebody and all of a sudden you start feeling in over head, like what am I doing and where is my teacher right now. Because it is profession but there’s a lot more to it.

CLIENT: There’s got to be some methodology. There’s going to be yeah.

THERAPIST: And that, I think, relatedly is having also community of to sort of even if that’s where you get to turn to. Like peer supervision group or colleagues.

CLIENT: Well my thinking is I’ve already I’ve thought that through. My thinking’s that the minute I have a client I’m going to be doing a shitload of homework. In other words, before I see them I want to have that shit. Okay, if this is our third session, all right, this is what happened the last sessions, I’m going to you know what I mean? These are the things we’re going to talk about. These are the things I want to ask. [00:42:03.25] These are you know what I mean? That’s one. And two, the minute I have a client then that’s when I am going to reach out to Eva or look, now I have clients. Is there a way I don’t know, just..

THERAPIST: Yeah. I mean I don’t know how it works in that field.

CLIENT: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, there’s no question. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I mean...

THERAPIST: To share dilemmas, to ask questions.

CLIENT: Of course, of course. Yeah, there’s no way that I would just totally wing it. Because also you’re making an impression. You’re trying to grow a business. So these people have to be satisfied. So I mean that’s what I’m saying. As soon as I have the money I’m absolutely going to get certified. Why the fuck not. I mean especially when I know someone who’s trustworthy, who says this is the best program and it’s of course I’d do it. (pause)

THERAPIST: So tomorrow? [00:43:21.20]

CLIENT: Okay. 12:50. All right. Thanks a lot, Abby [ph]. Have a good day.

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