TRANSCRIPT OF AUDIO FILE:

BEGIN TRANSCRIPT:

THERAPIST: Hi, come on in! (pause) I just wanted to let you know, I appreciate the check from last week. So, that covered through the end of September, but not last session, just to let you know. Just wanted to let you know that, because it didn't cover the missed session.

CLIENT: Okay.

THERAPIST: So you know what I'm saying? So, you covered it through the end of September, but not last session.

CLIENT: Okay, so next I owe you three?

THERAPIST: Yeah. So, yeah. I mean, that's totally fine, I just wanted to let you know. From an accounting standpoint, we usually... yeah.

CLIENT: Yeah, I do, too. Okay, so now I owe you three. Okay. Perfect.

Um, everything is going okay. I think this weekend I finally figured out where most of my frustration is coming from. I kind of gave me an idea, because I had a conversation with my parents about the wedding list. It finally dawned on me: my actions are kind of the same as my dad's, where he will not let go of his sister, he's trying to get something out of her, trying to find the unconditional love that I think he so wanted, that she just hasn't given him or my siblings or, you know, my mother. [00:01:48]

And, you know, having the conversation with him about being able to... I don't know how to put this... being able to just keep going back and looking for that one thing is, it's irritating. You know, it bothers me, because that's the one question that I really can't answer as to why I was running back to all the situations that weren't really healthy for me. They were the ones that were constantly putting me under the most stress. They were the ones that were constantly, you know, bothering me, to the point where I needed to do these outcries to reach out for help. [00:02:42]

It was slowly making sense to me why I was getting so frustrated, why I'm... You know, I still continually get frustrated, because the same answers he's looking for, I see in myself, looking for those same answers. And (sighs)... It's extremely difficult, you know? It's difficult in a way that I really don't know how to move forward. I really don't' have a concrete or solid, you know, theory as to why I keep going back to these old situations, you know? In talking with my dad, and seeing how he was acting when we were having conversations about his sister and about how, you know, I don't want to welcome them in my life anymore, that I've moved past them, it was really bothersome to me, because it was like a switch went off, you know? Where he's constantly trying to defend his case of why he's gone back to her, why he's defending her. [00:04:02]

And I can see myself constantly trying to defend and justify why I kept working at the company, why I kept doing these other things, why I kept running back home for safety. It's just one of those things that, you know, you just need that "aha" moment to pop up. That for me, that was my "aha" moment, where I guess all my frustrations and all my, you know, anxiety and anger are built around the same questions that they are trying to answer. Unfortunately, I don't know if I'm going to get a concrete answer, as to why this is happening, unless they do something, unless they understand what their actions are doing.

That's, for me, that's, you know, really an eye opening experience, because I really don't, you know, understand why I'm doing this. And this is just a pattern that I just realized over the weekend, is because I did see myself constantly making excuses, I did see myself running under that safety net, trying to prove something-I don't know what, but I was trying to prove something. I was trying to gain something out of the relationship that I have. I don't know whether it would be what I wanted out of the relationship, what I craved out of the relationship, but I wanted and what I hoped would happen, I think my dad hopes and wants to happen with his sister's relationship. [00:05:45]

However, it's still not going the right way. I caught myself again getting frustrated, as to why he continually can't see what my siblings see, what my mother sees, what outsiders have seen, you know? Because there is that denial that it is your family, you know? They are your comfort, they are your safety net, and you want them to be your safety net; but one of my frustrations is, when do you cut that out? When do you finally give up? [00:06:30]

THERAPIST: So, in realizing that, like his sister isn't his safety net, what do you think he fears?

CLIENT: I don't know. And that's what I don't understand. I don't know what he fears. I don't know what he's looking for out of the relationship. (sighs) I mean, I don't know what, you know, me and my siblings and my mother have to do to prove that we're on his side, that we do want what's best for him. Everything we're trying to do with him is in a positive way, it's in a way to help better his life; where before, you know, when I was working at the company, it was that one thing that was holding me back. [00:07:22]

It was that one thing that was helping prevent me from getting to the level where I wanted to be, because I did have that emotional attachment to the situation. I still feel that my dad has the emotional attachment, because it is his sister, and that's where I'm at my frustration level, because I'm at that point with my parents, because they are my parents. I don't, you know, I just, I don't know what more I can do to get out of this relationship, to let them know that, hey, you know, "I want you to understand I'm on your side, but I can't be on your side if you're not supporting me." [00:08:10]

And I think that's partially the reason why my dad is still looking, is he just wants some indication of support from his sister, and he hasn't really got it. He hasn't really got it; everything she's done has attacked him. It's pretty much, you know, made his life more and more difficult. I look back to him, referring to my situations, where everything that I've done, I've felt attacked. I felt the one who's trying to keep the peace, like my dad, would be the better person, and suck it up and put on the happy face and keep crawling and crawling back, looking for that one thing that I don't even know what I'm looking for.

I don't even know what I want out of the relationship. And it put that all into perspective, you know, over the weekend, as to, I'm looking for the same thing that my father's looking for, you know? Which is a comfort, which is a safety net, or just a show of support, just an acknowledgement that, yes, I do understand, you know, you're trying to do this, and I want you to know that I do love you. Just something like that. [00:09:34]

I never really, you know, I haven't felt that I've gotten that in the last ten years, you know? And unfortunately for my dad, I don't think he's got it for the last 50 years, you know? I don't know how his and my aunt's relationship was when they grew up. I don't know if they were close or not. But all I know is, from my life, and into my adult life, I know their relationship has not been very good, you know? It seems like it's very good, but he constantly talks about what she does and how he just can't understand what she's thinking sometimes. And that's kind of how I thought, that's kind of how I think now: "How can you be thinking this way now? What is wrong with you? Why are you making this decision? Why can't you just stand up for yourself?" [00:10:25]

You know, they keep saying that my, you know, my aunt's husband walks all over her and runs the relationship. And it does! He does! But that's when I come in and talk to my dad, like, "You're trying to run my life, you are trying to run all the relationships that I have," and now I'm slowly pushing him out of that decision-making in my life.

THERAPIST: Well, sometimes, people don't stand up for themselves in relationships because they're afraid of losing that person.

CLIENT: Well, and that's what he said. He said to me, because I, you know, I asked him and, you know, we had a conversation. There was no yelling and screaming, but we had a conversation about how I really would not like them to be a part of my wedding. And he came back with, "Well, I don't want to lose my sister." [00:11:20]

And then I said, "Well what; are you afraid of losing your son?" And he goes, "Why would I lose my son?" I go, "Because you will. Because I feel like you haven't supported me in this at all." And then I brought up, you know, at my grandmother's wake and funeral, when they were doing everything, how my aunt's husband fought for her stepson (his real son, my aunt's stepson), to be in the obituary, him and his family, who's not even blood related. And I asked my dad, I go, "How come Richard (who is my uncle) can fight and fight and fight and walk all over everybody, and he always gets his way? Why can't you fight for me like that?" (pause) [00:12:08]

THERAPIST: What did he say?

CLIENT: He didn't say anything. He just sat there in silence, upset. I knew that he was upset, because he just sat there. And it was kind of awkward a little bit, but that's... (sighs) that's how I'm slowly letting go of my feelings, because I want him to know where I stand. I understand this is going to be a difficult process. I understand he's not going to like what I have to say, but I feel I have to let him know where I'm coming from. I can't be holding anything back anymore. I can't be just putting it on the back burner and making these, you know, fake smiles that everything's okay; I can't do it. Mentally I can't do it, emotionally I can't do it; but I can let him know how I feel. [00:13:08]

THERAPIST: What was it like, to see him like that?

CLIENT: It was kind of a relief, because he was actually thinking about it. You know, I think he was boiling, but I think he was actually processing what was going on. I think, you know, hopefully, it sunk in, how hurt me and my siblings really are because of this, how, you know, difficult it is for us to watch him get pushed over, have this man constantly pushing his other children on us, that aren't even related to me by blood, you know? I think it started to all process, because I also mentioned to him that I do want to have a conversation with my aunt and uncle, and explain to them their role in my life, which is non-existent. [00:14:09]

They died on June 7th, when my grandmother died. I don't want to do anything with them, associate with them, moving forward. I don't... don't expect me to invite you to anything, don't invite me to anything. I don't want to be a part of your lives. I don't. So stop trying to put all this fake, "Oh, we care about you." You don't! You never have, you never will. Stop putting on the act. Let's just go our separate ways and move on. That's exactly how I'm going to leave it. That's exactly how I'm going to leave it, because I know deep down that they don't care. They don't.

This is the hard, this is another frustrating part about my mother, is she's very obsessive over my aunt, and she wants to yell in her face and get all upset and get something going. She's like, "If I do it..." I go, I had this conversation with my mother, I go, "Mom, just understand, whatever you say to Auntie Trish, she doesn't care. She's not going to give you a reaction, she's not going to give you anything, she's not going to yell and scream at you. She could care less. It doesn't bother her. She's a heartless person, who doesn't care. If she cared, she could have tried to fix it a long time ago. She chose not to," which in my mind means she doesn't care. She does not care. In my mind, I don't care about you. I have finally come to that realization. I don't care about you. I don't care. [00:15:58]

You know, I said this to my fianc�, and I said it to my siblings, and to my mother. I go, "I am only related to Trish and her family on paper. That's it. In real life, I am not associating with them. Only on paper am I going to be related to them. I want nothing to do with them." You know? And I do feel strongly at that point, you know? Because, for my own mental health, for my mother's mental health, I can't have them associated with me. I can't! Because that's, I think, what they like, is they like that they're constantly the ones talked about, they like being the enemy, they like pushing the buttons, because they don't care. They are heartless people. [00:16:51]

When you don't care, you do whatever it takes, and people that do care are the ones that end up getting screwed. That's what I'm seeing right now, is my family, who does care, my dad, who does care, who wants this, just wants, you know, that one thing, that one word or whatever it is, that one feeling of support from her will never get it. I kind of hinted at that to him, when we had our conversation. And that's why I think, that the more I let it process, the more he thinks about it, (coughs) the more he can see where it's actually come from. You know, moving forward, I hope he finally realizes it, because I have told him, I go, "I'm not attending anything with them. I'm not!" And he gets upset, because I've already made statements that I'm not going to my cousin's funeral in August after my, I mean wedding, after mine, you know? [00:18:06]

THERAPIST: That's not clear, if it's a funeral or a wedding!

CLIENT: No, no, I know. But I told my mother and I told my siblings, if something happened to my Aunt Trish, I would not be in attendance. I don't have that connection. I only went for my grandmother's for my dad. That was it. If something happens to his sister, I don't care.

THERAPIST: Well, it sounds like you're not only, or maybe even really making a statement about your cousins and your aunt. You're making a statement to your dad, in particular, about his loyalty.

CLIENT: Well, that's the... and ultimately, I don't want it to be, but it is a choice, because I do want to see where he stands, whether it's with me or her.

THERAPIST: Well, I don't think they would bother you as much if you felt that your father was on your side and took your side.

CLIENT: I really 100% agree.

THERAPIST: So it seems like in some sense, like, it's not exactly about them. It's about how he, what he does, based on who they are and how they've treated you.

CLIENT: Yeah. And how they treat him. I mean, it's all about... and I know I don't, you shouldn't use this word, but it's about a justification. It's a concrete of why this is happening. I just want him to be able to see my side, my siblings' side, my mother's side. I want him to experience that, because throughout all those years, he really wasn't that person, because he always turned a blind side, because it was his mother and his sister that were the ones doing it. He always turned a blind side to that. [00:19:47]

THERAPIST: Do you feel like when he was upset that he... do you feel that that indicated that he understood something about what you were talking about, or not?

CLIENT: It triggered something. Do I know what he was thinking? No. Because I never actually had this conversation about how I truly felt, about how hurt I was. I really don't... He never understood that. And as much as he wanted to think he saw it, he never did, because his children never spoke of this until now. Now is when everything is coming out, now is when all the dust is starting to settle and all the pieces are falling into place, because before I never had the courage or the confidence to speak out about it. I always talked a big game, but never did it. [00:20:42]

And now, I'm actually doing it, you know? The one thing that he did say, (sighs) you know, that really ticked me off was, you know, "You can't not invite your cousins." And I said, "Well, I'm not inviting my mother's nephew." And he goes, "Well, that's different." And I said, "How? How is it different?" He didn't have an answer. He didn't have an answer. And after I told him that, I go, "I know this is going to hurt you, but I'm going to have the final say in who gets invited and who doesn't." (pause) [00:21:25]

And, again, there was silence, because after my actions from last year, over the summer, about not attending my cou(stops)... he knows I'm serious, because I'll lie to him. I've already said this, "I'll lie to them." I'll say I sent an invitation, and I won't. I won't. Because I feel, and this is just me, that's the only way I can effectively communicate with him, is by actions. He doesn't see words. He doesn't see, you know, me just talking and bitching and venting; he thinks it will all blow away. But if I act on them, and actually do it without his control, then he doesn't know what to do, because that's what a lot of it is, and it's kind of like with me; it's a control issue. [00:22:25]

You know, he wants to have control over the event, and I'm not giving it to him. Unfortunately, we talked about a power thing in a control aspect; well, this is the one thing I have-I actually have control over it. I feel empowered and, in a good way, it feels that I can get my point across. I can get my cry for help that I've been looking for, for my support call, that I've been looking for all these years, because now the support call isn't them; the support call is my fianc�, and she backs me up.

She's the one who's making me think on my own, who's making me have these decisions on my own. Without her, I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't be the better person that I am, and I can truly say that. You know, she's the one who pushed me to stop being fake, to stop putting myself in these situations. She's the one that got me out of the company situation, she's the one that got me, you know, to start sticking up for myself. She's the one that got me to start fighting for myself and making me believe in myself, where I never had that before. [00:23:56]

I never thought I had it. I still don't feel I have that. When I asked them and told them, I told my mother, "I never felt supported," and I think she's finally starting to get it. Now, I just told my dad, "I never felt supported. I never feel like you have my back." It will be interesting to see how this plays out, how it goes, because now I've spoken. Now I've made my case, my plea again for help, for support, to just emotionally support me, what's best for me, help me do what's best for me, because I never felt that I had that back in the day. It was all, "What can I buy you, to shut you up, to move on from the emotional support that you really needed?" [00:24:57]

THERAPIST: Do you feel like getting it now will make up for some of those past experiences?

CLIENT: Make up for it? No. But moving forward, comfort me a little bit more, make me more loving? Yes. Because there is always...like I said, you know, I don't know if I mentioned this, I can't fix the past. I can forget it or try to forget it, but I can't fix it. So if I can get that support now, or just a show of it, and have them understand it, maybe they can change now to help me live a better rest of my life. Because if they don't see it... (sighs), I'm running out of patience. I'm running out of cries, calls for help. I feel like I've tried numerous times to ask for the emotional support that I needed, the reinforcement of positivity, the reinforcement of helping me as an individual. I really do feel like I needed that support, and I never got it. I feel like I've never gotten it. And that's what's frustrating. [00:26:27]

THERAPIST: And it feels like your father taking sides will help you feel more supported?

CLIENT: It will give me, at least in the back of my mind, I will truly know that he is on my side, because right now, I feel he's not. Right now, I feel he's on his sister's side. And that's bothered... that bothers me, because here I am, someone who has done nothing to hurt you, who's done nothing, but try to be supportive, try to help you, love you; and here is the person who constantly abuses you, steals from you, makes your life more miserable than it needs to be; and that's who you're choosing. [00:27:22]

Kind of like, I feel like. I've been, you know, I was brought up to do everything right. The more and more I see, the more right you do, the less success you have. That's how I feel, that's how I've been feeling. I feel that, I just... (sighs) I've just been, you know, all over the place. I haven't really felt like I've been in, you know, a constant place of positivity until now. I've never had an emotional support partner like I have now. I've never had, you know, someone who can relate to the situations that I'm in, until now. I mean, unfortunately, the way I'm thinking is, every opportunity there was, my dad always chose his mother and sister over us. [00:28:24]

That bothers me, because we are his children. I understand, your mother is your mother, but unfortunately, if I was ever in that situation with my mother, I'd choose my kids. I wouldn't choose my mother. I'd confront my mother. I'd ultimately give her an ultimatum. I mean, that's what I'm looking for, is that support, that, you know, that person that really, you know, questions and will fight for you. I never felt that. I never felt he'd go to battle with me; I never had that type of confidence, that type of faith in him. [00:29:17]

I still don't, to this day. I don't. And that's frustrating to me, is because here I am, reaching out to my father, trying to get this unconditional love and this support from him, but he's too busy reaching out for his sister, waiting for that support, looking for that love. It's killing our relationship, and I don't think he understands that. That's why I had to have the conversation with him. I had to let him know that he is at risk of losing me, because all he, in his mind, sees is losing his sister. The thought of him losing his children has never crossed his mind until now. (pause) [00:30:10]

It will be interesting to see how it plays out. Because I, like I told him, "I want them to be a part of my life, I want them to have success in my life," I go, "but unfortunately, the way you're acting right now, I can't have you in my life. I can't. It's not healthy for me." You know? And then they get upset, and I get text messages from my brothers and sisters, but in the back of my mind, I know I'm getting through. That comforts me a little bit. I know I've set off something.

THERAPIST: What do you think that something is?

CLIENT: The emotional attachment that I've been looking for, the emotional support I've been waiting for, the emotional support that I've been so long and been crying out for so long. I think that's what's finally hitting. [00:31:13]

THERAPIST: So they're contacting you to tell you they support you?

CLIENT: No, my brothers and sisters are contacting me, telling me my parents are upset over my comments.

THERAPIST: I see. So, but it sounds like that feels like support to you.

CLIENT: No. It's not support to me. It's, to me, it's comfort, knowing that they're thinking about it.

THERAPIST: Got it.

CLIENT: They're processing what I've said.

THERAPIST: You got their attention.

CLIENT: For once.

THERAPIST: Got it.

CLIENT: The problem is keeping that attention, because they can get easily distracted and try to fight to avoid it. I have their attention; now I need them to listen. That's the hardest part, is getting them to listen, because they tend to do their own thing. My mother does whatever my dad wants, and my dad wants to dictate everything. That's not happening anymore. He's not dictating anything; not to me, at least. [00:32:13]

I think that's a struggle, that he's going to have to deal with. I think it's a major struggle, that he's having to deal with, because the whole time before, he's always had that role, where what he said, I usually went by. What he said, I did; I shut my mouth and took advantage of it. Now, I'm fighting back, and now my parents are confused, because there is that control has now changed hands. It's now not in their possession, because they know 100% that I control the situation.

We had another conversation about it, of how I asked them to take a backseat to it. "I want you to be a part of it, but you'll be a part of it after Lucy (sp?) and I make our decisions on what we want." And they seemed okay, because I think now, the conversations that we've had previously are still in the back of their minds of losing me, of making that threat, that final cry out for help, for support. [00:33:25]

I think it's still in their minds and they're still thinking about it. Do I want them to walk on eggshells when they see me? No. But I want them to make strides to change. I want them to be that emotional support that we've so needed for so long, because I did feel abandoned for a time, a long time. I did; until I found Lucy.

THERAPIST: What I was going to say, you made a comment earlier in this session, that you feel like you, now, like that, you or your father are in the same position; like you understand how your father feels, because of what he's going through with his sister. How did you mean?

CLIENT: How did I mean?

THERAPIST: Yeah, how did you mean (blocked)?

CLIENT: I meant the situation, how... where I'm constantly calling out, and even though bad things are happening to me, even though situations are not healthy and outsiders see it, and I constantly complain (like my dad constantly complains about his sister and her actions and her husband's actions), whereas I was constantly complaining about work and the actions of my aunt and uncle and the actions of my grandmother, and the actions of my aunt; he does that constantly with his sister, I did it constantly with my aunts and uncles and my grandmother. That's where the relationship, you know, kind of coincides, is because we're all just, instead of acting on it, we sit and indulge in it and complain about and let it eat us away, mentally and emotionally. I'm just like, "How can she do this, what is wrong with them? We're your family; why are you doing this to me?" [00:35:15]

You know? And that's the relationship that I see, because I do see that he is constantly making excuses to stay. I constantly made excuses to stay, until I finally ran out of excuses, and I couldn't stay anymore. For me, I couldn't stay anymore. That's exactly how I'm feeling right now I can't stay anymore; I need to move on; I need this chapter ending and out of my life.

Excuse me (wiping nose?) If I can't move forward without them in it, I feel like I'll never be able to move forward. I feel that's one of the weights that's constantly holding me down. It's constantly holding me down, because it's constantly a subject that's talked about in my parents' household and I can't deal with it anymore. I can't! The issue needs to be addressed and it needs to be moved on. It's not got to be solved; it's just got to be made at peace, we've all got to be in agreement and go this way. [00:36:40]

THERAPIST: Right; but agreement in what... I'm not sure I understand (blocked)

CLIENT: Agreement in, we both go our separate ways.

THERAPIST: You mean you in one way, and your parents in another?

CLIENT: No. Me and my parents this way, and my aunt and her family that way.

THERAPIST: Right. I see.

CLIENT: You know? Because it's really tampering with... you know, my mother is obsessed with my aunt. She's obsessed. And I just don't want that, for her own safety, for her own health.

THERAPIST: What if that doesn't happen? What would happen instead?

CLIENT: Unfortunately, I'd slowly sneak my way out of the picture. I would. I would sneak my way out of the picture. I wouldn't do it abruptly, just, very fast; it would be very slow and it would be to the point where I wouldn't see anyone on my dad's family; and I'd have no problem with that. I'd have no problem with that. [00:37:58]

THERAPIST: What about your dad? Would you see him?

CLIENT: Yeah, by himself, with my immediate family, my brothers and my sisters. But any big family around, that has them there I'm away. I'm away. I'm done with it.

THERAPIST: Yeah. I guess it's important to sort of identify who it is you're angry at. I mean, it sounds like you're really angry at him.

CLIENT: Well, I'm not angry; I'm frustrated. I'm not angry at him. I'm just frustrated, because he just doesn't see emotionally what we see.

THERAPIST: Well it sounds like, was it your aunt... whose stepson, who... was in that...

CLIENT: My dad's sister's stepson.

THERAPIST: It sounds like you felt that she and her husband really looked out for their kids in a way that your dad didn't look out for you. I guess that's what I meant by angry, but maybe that was the wrong word. [00:39:00]

CLIENT: Yeah, yeah. And that's what I expressed to him. How they fought and fought and fought for him, and I never got that for me. I never even got an ounce of that. And that's when the conversation went quiet. That's when it went quiet, because, I think he knows now; well, not knows, but he's thinking about it. "Shit! I really didn't do that! My kids are seeing this, this is how my kids are feeling." We are feeling left out. I do. I feel left out. So if I'm left out, why am I going to try to fit in? I already know I don't!

What do I have to prove? I've tried everything; didn't work! Might as well stay outside, because that's where eventually they want me, is outside. That's how I'm feeling, that's how I feel emotionally, that's how I feel mentally. I feel left out. On paper, I'm part of that family, but in physicality and the physical life, I'm not. In the emotional life, I'm not. Only on paper, and that's what I'm... I've come to the realization, it's only on paper I'm related to them. Everything else... no. Everything else, no. [00:40:24]

That's what it comes down to. Unfortunately, my actions are going to speak louder than my words to my dad, you know? Until he can see that, it's really not going to settle in, it's not going to sink in, you know? It's like I've mentioned before, I have his attention. Now I have to get him to listen, and that's going to be the most difficult part, because what I have to say, he's not going to want to hear. He's not going to want to hear, because I told him, I'm telling it to his sister and her husband, with him in the room. Because of these, I'm going to stay in the room. It's going to hurt him, too. [00:41:20]

It's going to hurt him, too, because I want to know why he and his sister and his brother let their mother do what they did to us. It wasn't just her; he let it happen, too. His brother let it happen, and none of them said anything. That bothers me, that really, really gets me angry, gets me furious. Sorry, I can feel the rage coming. I get the thing in my stomach, that really... I just need that question answered, and that's when, you know, I'll move forward. I'll have some closure then, as to what I'm going to do with my life, moving forward. (sighs)

It's very difficult, because I know for a fact that that's going to hurt him. It's not going to hurt my aunt, because she doesn't care. But it will hurt him. I know it will hurt him. But I need to know why he didn't do anything, I need to know what he was thinking. [00:42:43]

THERAPIST: Do you think he knows?

CLIENT: No. (pause) No. (pause) And that's what's even more frustrating and more painful and more emotionally angering me, getting me all worked up, because I don't think he sees he did anything wrong. He doesn't, and I know... that's the one thing that, you know, I feel for in my heart, in my gut, because I know that's his answer; he didn't know what he was doing. It's frustrating, very frustrating, you know? It's just something that (sighs)... until he can come to grips with, you know... he was a part of the reason why we were hurt as kids, it's just a question that's just going to keep burning at me. It's going to keep bothering me, and I don't know how my siblings feel about it, but I feel very strongly for it. I feel very strongly that, you know... because they weren't... (sigh)... [00:44:09]

I go back to that day when my grandmother yelled at my mother, and I heard every word of her. I can see it, just being a little kid, down the bottom of the stairs, looking up, and just hearing these mean things coming out of her mouth. And my mother being very emotional and upset and, you know, telling my father, and nothing getting done. Nothing! That would kill me; if my mother did that to Lucy? I'm sorry, I'd be over there fucking yelling at her. I'm sorry for my mouth.

THERAPIST: You can curse, if you want.

CLIENT: I'm sorry, I would go over there in a fury.

THERAPIST: And protect her.

CLIENT: And protect her. And tell her that that's not called for, and that until you apologize, until you can understand how bad you hurt her, you're out. You're out! I feel that he let it happen, she got a slap on the wrist, and we were still out. [00:45:35]

THERAPIST: Well, this is some pretty heavy stuff, and it seems like we have a lot more to talk about. We are going to need to stop today, Blaise (ph?), okay?

CLIENT: Okay.

THERAPIST: I look forward to hearing how things are going, okay?

CLIENT: Thank you, Dr. Stevenson (ph?). Talk to you.

THERAPIST: Okay, take care.

END TRANSCRIPT