TRANSCRIPT OF AUDIO FILE:

BEGIN TRANSCRIPT:

THERAPIST: Hi, come on in.

CLIENT: It's warm in here. So before... I just wanted to tell you that this will be my last session.

THERAPIST: Oh.

CLIENT: We'll get into that, so... guess the last time I saw you was last Monday?

THERAPIST: Mm-hmm.

CLIENT: I went to Pennsylvania this past weekend. And on Saturday I had gone to Ohio, and I was out with the friends that Kevin and I had made, the girl. And we were hanging out and just sitting there, and I got a text message from the people that I work for now. [0:01:03] And she texted me to tell me that I would be leaving next week, so next Thursday is my last day. And I am going back to Pennsylvania. I went on a job interview while I was there last weekend, and it seemed to go well. I talked to the director of the program, and then I just today talked to the supervisor and the human resources woman and kind of let them know that my availability has changed. Basically when I got back here on Monday, I didn't respond to her text message because I thought it was a little inappropriate to sort of text message someone at 9:00 at night to give them their two weeks' notice.

THERAPIST: (Chuckling) Yeah. [That's really] (ph) crazy. [0:02:03]

CLIENT: And there was no way that I would sort of respond to that at all. And so I got back on Monday right about dinner time, and they were just all sitting down to dinner. And I walked in, and the kids were so excited to see me, and they can't believe we (ph) were gone for so long because the little one exaggerates (chuckling). And they invited me to sit down for dinner, so I had dinner with them. And, you know, the only thing I wanted to do was go back and just... I didn't even want to talk to them because I was sort of so hurt and just disgusted at the idea that she obviously knew Saturday during the day. She also would have still known on Sunday during the day that, you know, the end of February was okay for them. And she could have just picked up the phone and called. Or she could have waited until I got back and, you know, did it in person. [0:02:58]

So I've sort of just been going along, you know, being nice and doing everything that I usually do. She's working from home today, so I sort of... I had talked to her a little bit. She had just said, if you could just drop the kids off at school next week and then go, you can take the kids out to dinner the night before you leave. And then that's it, which to me is... you know, I understand it's sort of a professional relationship. It's supposed to be because I work for them. But at the same time, you know, because I've worked there for so long and the way that, you know, the situation has been, the... I guess the lines of personal and professional have sort of crossed. And, you know, I'm sort of just assuming that they're doing this because of the situation that went on between Kevin and I, and they're just uncomfortable with it. [0:03:59]

But, you know, they had told me... I guess it was a week or two ago, because I think I told you the last time the end of March, and it was because of... they needed space for the renovations they were doing on the house. And that was fine. If that's what they wanted to tell me because it was easier than saying, you know, what it was really about, that's fine. I'm sort of just assuming and everyone else I know is sort of assuming that that's the issue. And it's understandable, but I think just the way that she's going about it and saying that... because they weren't going to get a new nanny, and now in her text message they'd found someone to be... you know, she said, we've found a new person, who I don't think is going to live with them because she's an older woman with her own kids. But, you know, we've found a new person, and she needs to start in March, so the end of February is better for us. [0:04:56]

And I kind of felt like, you know, you're accommodating someone you don't know, and I've been here for almost two years, bending over backwards doing above and beyond what I was asked and what I was ever supposed to do for you. And you're sort of just... you just sort of feel like text messaging me and saying that I have two weeks and being, you know, just fairly... not very compassionate about it... is appropriate. You know, up until now I haven't really felt that they were feeling different. I know I've been sort of trying... you know, acting a little differently ever since everything happened and, you know, kind of setting a little bit more boundaries of not always being home and not necessarily participating in everything with them because I don't have to. And, you know, once they walk in the door, I can leave. I can go upstairs and not come back down for the rest of the night because I'm technically not there to be working. [0:06:01] And I don't know if that's bothered them or they don't care, but I just kind of feel a little hurt that they're going about it this way.

And, when I was talking to her this morning, she just was, like, very whatever. And on Monday when I got back the kids were doing something, and she was washing dishes. And I came into the kitchen, and she basically just said, you know, did you get my text message on Saturday? And I said, yeah. And she said, well, we think... we were looking at the calendar, and we think next week works best for us because we found this woman. And she's really great, and we like her, and, you know, she needs to start in March. So that's it. And then she sort of asked me, like, how my job interview went and how things were going. And I flat out said to her, well, I was working with a time frame of April, like a start date of, you know, April 1st. [0:07:00] And that's what I told these people, and, when I put out resumes, April was my starting date. And that's what they're all sort of counting on.

The job that I interviewed for in order for me to sort of work there, I'd have to have a waiver because technically an education degree, despite the fact that it's a master's degree, isn't a human service degree in Pennsylvania or maybe anywhere. So I have to get sort of a waiver stating that it's okay that I still work at that job? And they said, you know, it's not usually a problem, but sometimes it can take up to a month. And, when I had spoken to the director on Friday, it was working out perfectly. You know, she said it will work out. Well, you know, you can finish up what you're doing, and then by the time you get back, you know, we can sort of start you. And I kind of... so I was explaining this to Amy and just flat out said to her, you know, I don't have a job to go to yet. [0:08:01] Like, you're leaving me with an entire month. I said I was counting on that month... this month of March to sort of get together what I needed between working for the other two families and working here and, you know, getting... so I could get my own apartment, I didn't have to stay with my mom at all. And she's like, oh. And she didn't say anything.

She... it... she was just sort of blank in the face, and she was just like, okay, and, well, where are you going to stay? And I said, I have to stay with my mom. I don't have another choice right now because I can't get an apartment in two weeks. And you know, I have to look for places and find places that are, you know, suitable and within my price range, depending on if I even have this job, because I don't officially even have the job. So I can't technically sign up for an apartment until I know that I have the job, that I'll be able to pay the rent and to pay my bills. [0:08:59] And she was just sort of unphased by that. And I kind of thought, you know, maybe she would care a little bit or, you know, at least say she was sorry or apologize for it being such short notice. But they've sort of said nothing.

And I don't really know what to make of it, and some people are just like, well, you know, you're getting out of there sooner than you wanted to. You have to look on the bright side. It was June, and it was the end of March, and now it's only two more weeks. And, you know, that's understandable, and that's fine. But sort of at the same time, just how the situation is all happening and unfolding is a little less than what I had expected it to be? You know, I sort of thought that me leaving, they would do something for me? You know, they always have done stuff. You know, they make Christmas a big deal, you know, because I leave. [0:09:59] And... or, you know, this year they left, and we always go out to dinner and, you know, make a big thing, even if it's just for the kids. And they... you know, she's like, you know, we're going to go out next Thursday, so you could take the kids out to dinner and then drop them off at school on Friday, and that's it. So I really... that's where I'm at. And I'm just not really sure what to make of it and sort of just trying to put a smile on my face.

But now I really don't want to be there because they haven't made it awkward, but at the same time it's like... it is awkward. And the kids know that I'm leaving, but they don't really know why. And they keep asking me. You know, the little one keeps saying, why do you have to leave? Why do you have to go? I want you to stay. And, you know, I'm trying to say, oh, I'm just going back to work and saying whatever. [0:10:56] And I sort of asked Amy what she had told the kids, and she said, oh, I don't... I didn't really tell them anything. I didn't really think about it. You know, I just said that you were leaving. And I'm like, well, they have a lot of questions, and, you know, they want to know, are you working for someone else? I mean, they were asking me that in the car yesterday, and they were really upset, thought I was, that I was leaving them. And, you know, she's just not... she didn't say anything. And, you know, I sort of said, you know, do you want us all to tell them, so I can explain to them, like, look, I'm going to another job? And she's like, no, I don't really know what I want to tell them. I'll tell them something at some point.

So it's just all very weird and very strange. And I kind of want next week to be here already so I can just go? I mean, I have debated just sort of leaving after this week and just saying, look, whatever, because she said, well, I understand if you need to leave earlier because of your new job and... in her text message. [0:12:04] And I kept reiterating, I don't have a new job. But I'm also afraid that, if I leave a week early, they won't pay me for the entire month of February because that's... they're just like that. They're very frugal, very cheap people who would count minutes off of not paying me? So I just feel like I have no choice but to sort of suck it up and stay through next week. And it'll go by fast, but...

THERAPIST: Would you want to come next week? You don't want to come next week here?

CLIENT: I think I just need to kind of get all my stuff together and start packing. And I obligated to the other family to sort of do some extra hours with them because I kind of need the money now? I don't really have... and because I'm not getting help from Kevin to sort of offset certain things. [0:13:01] And I saw him over the weekend, and, you know, we hung out or whatever. And I explained to him, you know, what was going on. And, I don't know, he's just been sort of weird, and I think he sort of goes through... like, where if I do see him and then everything's great and fine and we have a good time together. And then the last few days he just acts weird, like, after I see him. So I try to just give him space and not really sort of butt in and talk to him all that much? Just given the circumstances.

When I went down to hang out with Ashley (sp?), I had gone over to his apartment. And it just struck me as so odd because he didn't say, like, do you want to come pick up your stuff? Or do you want to come get everything? And I was like, you know, I don't really want to take more stuff back with me right now, so, you know, we can deal with that later unless you really want me to take it. [0:14:01] And he said no. And everything that I had left was exactly how I left it. Like, my shoes were still by the front door, my toothbrush is still in the toothbrush holder, clothes were... you know, it was just... to me, I'm like... I just didn't try to still (inaudible at 0:14:20) around my head, just the fact that, like, he was so mad at me, and we broke up, and he didn't want anything to do with me. And yet... he doesn't want to get back together, he's very sure of it. But yet all of my things are still in exactly the same place as they were, you know? The shampoo is still in the shower (chuckling) and everything. So I would have assumed that he sort of would have gathered it all into one place and had it together so that it would not necessarily be in his face every day as a constant reminder? I mean, first thing you walk in the door, and my shoes are still there? [0:14:56] But I didn't really say anything to him about it. We tried to sort of not even talk about our relationship. We were just kind of talking about now me moving back here and getting my job in Pennsylvania and sort of what I was going to do for the next month of nothing (chuckling) and trying to deal with how I'm going to sort of live with my mom for a month?

And on Thursday before I left she... I think it was Thursday. She sort of texted me, because she knew I was coming on Thursday. And she's like, we need to talk before you leave on Saturday to go to Ohio for the night. And I said, okay, what do we have to talk about? And she sent me this whole dissertation, long text message like she usually does about, you know, how I'm so disrespectful to her, how I talked to her before, and, you know, why I haven't been talking to her in the last month. [0:16:03] And I just said, okay, you know, it's... I'm not being disrespectful, but okay. And, you know, when I got there, she's just so sort of clueless as to the fact that anything... that she doesn't obviously think that anything that she does or says has any effect on how I act because she's... like, you know, I don't understand why you act this way. And I really didn't want to get in an argument with her. And she's like, I don't understand why you act the way that you do, and, you know, does it have to do with your dad and him not being around? And does it have to do with Adam? And all this... she named probably everybody but herself. And at one point I was just, like, no, and I really didn't even want to engage her all that much. [0:16:55]

I did say to her that, you know... I said, you're very passive aggressive in how you speak to people? And I don't like that, and I could see myself sort of becoming a little bit like that. So, you know, I'm trying to self-correct how I talk to people and how I react to things. And I'm like... she said, so do you think I overreact to stuff? And I said, yeah, I do. And every time she'd try... she said something, I was, like, flinching before I... you know, and trying to think, what do I say? Because I don't want this to turn into a really big issue because she... you know, it doesn't matter half the time what you say, and she completely overreacts. And, you know, basically she's like, well, I have to be passive aggressive. And I said, no one has to be passive aggressive. There's no reason for anybody to ever speak that way. And, you know, she tried to justify her actions, and this is why I do it. [0:18:00] And I said, no, you don't. And you could pick a different way to react to things. And, you know, I'm not the only one who has said that the... I said, the last time I was here, poor Harold made a comment to me that all you do is yell at him. And so I'm not the only one that is getting the brunt of whatever is going on, and it's not fair to either of us. And I'm just... I don't want to have any drama, and I don't want to argue with you, and I don't really want to do this. And so then it sort of just... the conversation kind of petered out into nothing, and then we never really revisited the situation? So it wasn't bad, but nothing really happened.

And then later that night we were driving in the car from dinner, just her and I. And she said, you know, when you said earlier that Harold made a comment that I was yelling at him all the time, I did take notice to that. [0:19:05] And I ended up going to the doctor. I guess she went to her gynecologist or something and put her... he put her... or she put her on a low dose of estrogen. So she was on hormones, because I'm pretty sure my mom's menopausal. So that doesn't help on top of the issues that she already had before (chuckling). So she said she feels like it's working, and she feels less irritable and less yell-y all the time. But I don't know because I haven't really been around her. I guess I'll find out in March. But she said she has to go back sometime this month or in the next few weeks or whatever to kind of reevaluate how that's going? So I'm hoping that maybe, if she is a little out of... not very stabilized, that, if she is taking some hormones, that maybe that's helping stabilize her in some way? [0:20:02] Because, if not, the next month is going to be absolutely terrible, and I kind of have just resigned to the fact that I'm not going to argue with her. I'm just going to sort of go about my business, do what I need to do, and just say, okay.

But I could already feel the anxiety because, when I left on Saturday morning to go to Ohio and I had my dog with me, she was watching her for the... overnight, until I got back on Sunday. And she was already bugging me Sunday afternoon, when are you getting back? When are you coming back? You know, we want to go out. When are you coming back? And I'm like, I don't want to deal with the fact that the dog can't be alone for three hours or something if you wanted to go out and I'm not back yet or something like that. I don't want to hear, when are you coming back, when are you coming back? [0:20:58] I'm 26 years old. I'll be back when I get back, and if you have to go out just leave the dog. But the last time I lived with her was before I got kicked out. And she did the same thing, and, you know, she was constantly keeping tabs on where I was, what I was doing, who I was doing it with. She wanted to know. And, you know, then, you know, I would tell her, and, you know, this weekend she's like, are you with Kevin? Are you seeing him? And are you with... who are you hanging out with? And I'm like, this is none of her business what I'm doing, where I'm...okay, this is where I'm going, but after that it's really none of your concern who I'm seeing or anything.

THERAPIST: Well, one thing I wanted... I know it's a little bit of switching the topic, but I know... one of the reasons I asked about wanting to come in again is usually people take a session to talk about, you know, what the experience was like, what they've learned, and what they want to work on. [0:21:58] And, given it seems like we're not going to have the opportunity to do that, it could be a good idea to spend the rest of the time we do have together to talk about that a little if you'd like.

CLIENT: I guess I sort of feel like I would like to be able to continue coming and when I go to Pennsylvania to sort of find somewhere to go, and that I've had a more positive experience this time, rather than in previous times where I just didn't feel comfortable or something happened and I just didn't want to be there. And, you know, I feel like over the last I guess... it feels... I guess... I keep saying month, but it's almost the end of February already, so it's two months... that, you know, I've tried to really kind of do self-assessment and to try and kind of figure out the kind of person that I want to be and want to continue to be? [0:23:01] And, you know, I keep saying, I really want to be a better person, and I want to approach issues and conflict and people in a different way. And I'm absolutely trying to do that. I'm just sort of trying to continue to kind of keep working on how I am and kind of taking a step back before maybe I answer and thinking about stuff before I start to talk and kind of just continue to work on what is better for me.

And, you know, if moving to Pennsylvania and getting a job and getting back into working and just kind of focusing on trying to sort of be happy and comfortable with my life again, and continuing to sort of just every now and then... again just doing self-evaluations and trying to sort of figure out where I am with things and how I am reacting and if, you know, I'm sort of falling back into previous... I guess previous ways? [0:24:21] And (inaudible at 0:24:27) I'm sort of worried about not being able to come, and, like, am I just going to sort of just...? Because it's easy to fall back to what you were, and I don't want to do that. So, you know, I'm going to work really, really hard to try and continue to sort of be a better person, and, you know, if can start my job earlier, it doesn't... it only takes a month to get benefits where usually it takes three months. So that works to my advantage of being able to find somebody else to see while I'm down there? [0:25:02]

THERAPIST: Well also, what part of Pennsylvania will you be in?

CLIENT: South, so, like, right outside of Philadelphia.

THERAPIST: Mm-hmm. Not near York?

CLIENT: It's that far south, but it's all the way east. So York's on the central side of Pennsylvania, and then I live right by the city.

THERAPIST: Right, right, right. Well, I'll certainly... I mean, I have a pretty extensive network of colleagues. I don't know anyone specifically down there, but I can certainly look into that for you.

CLIENT: Okay, that would be great because I don't really... yeah, I don't really know many people in the area. I'm sure there are, and I definitely don't want to go to the same person that my mom goes to. And I don't want to revisit people that I have before because I didn't necessarily have good experiences with them, and...

THERAPIST: Well, I'll certainly... if you e-mail me that town or a couple surrounding towns, I... it'll be helpful for me to... I'll definitely get you some names. [0:25:57]

CLIENT: Okay, thank you. (Crosstalk)

THERAPIST: I'll be happy to do so. In terms of the patterns that you're worried about falling back into, are there a couple in particular that you'd like to, you know, continue working on?

CLIENT: Just, you know, sometimes lately I've been sort of going over in my head, and, you know, when I have six hours of driving, you kind of have time to think (chuckling). And just the things that I've sort of [necessarily said to... more so Kevin] (ph) in the last year. Just reacting in certain ways, and, you know, as I look back on them now I think, you know, how silly of... for me to sort of be mad about, you know, he bought a new car, and I didn't like it. And I kind of ruined the experience for him because I was like, oh, that's not exactly the car I thought you were going to get. Because he was looking at a whole bunch of them, and he ended up with a different one, and... you know, and I felt bad. And I was like, why would I even care that much? [0:27:01] I know, just because it wasn't the one that I wanted him to get, it doesn't matter? And, you know, I think it's so silly, and he remembers, you know. You really sort of pulled the rug out from under me because it was supposed to be something fun and exciting. And you kind of just weren't very pleasant about it. And it's like little stuff like that that, you know, are so stupid, and why does it matter, you know? He could have bought a car from the 1950s, and it shouldn't matter what it was.

And just, you know, it doesn't... I don't know, I guess sometimes I'm used to everything being my way? And that's how it was for a while. So then when things don't necessarily go the way I want them to go, I sort of react in a negative way instead of thinking, it's really not that big of a deal. Is this going to matter in a year? Is... you know, is the same issue going to still be, you know, around or...? [0:27:57] So I don't know. And, you know, right now I'm kind of feeling like this is my chance to be independent, considering I went through my whole childhood dependent on my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, and my mom. And then I went right into sort of having a serious relationship with my boyfriend who took care of me. And then there was a short breaking point, and, you know, I just kind of... always... someone's always been there to sort of pick up the pieces and take care of me financially and sort of not maybe necessarily emotionally, but someone's always been there. And now it's like, Kevin's not there, and they are kicking me out in two weeks. And I... you know, luckily I can stay with my mom, but, if not, you know... if I didn't, if I couldn't stay there, you know, it's not like I wouldn't have anywhere to go? [0:29:01] But I kind of am now having no choice but to completely be sort of on my own and be more independent. And it's kind of scary because I've never had that happen?

So it's going to be a lot of change, and I don't adjust well to change to begin with (chuckling). But, you know, not only, you know, am I personally trying to change the person I am, but, you know, my environment is changing and, you know, just now going to work every day and having the responsibilities of... you know, I have to pay rent now, and I have to take care of my dog, and I have all this stuff to do that I've never necessarily... I mean, I've always had to take care of my dog. But I've never really paid rent before, and someone's always paid the mortgage and... on the house and, you know, all this other stuff. So I'm feeling overwhelmed, but I don't think it's anything I necessarily can't sort of do. [0:29:59]

THERAPIST: One thing I've been struck by in terms of your breaking up with Kevin is it's... you were very sort of frustrated and confused by his behavior. But I feel like I didn't... at least I didn't hear you between (ph)... express just, you know, grieving that loss.

CLIENT: Yeah, I guess maybe because part of it is, you know, he's still sort of around? But also trying to sort of keep things together as much as... I don't know, trying to keep it together and just sort of... it's been hard, and I haven't... and I don't understand sort of why things have developed the way that they are. [0:30:58] And, you know, part of me wants to think, well, as things change and everything is changed, then, you know, we can discuss getting back together. But then in the back of my head it's always there that, you know, he doesn't want to sort of have this relationship. And I've sort of started feeling angry towards him and sort of resentful that, you know, we can spend time together and everything is fine. And then he sort of asks distant and he's weird and he keeps saying how confused he is and how unhappy he is. And I feel like maybe a part of me is more mad at him for that rather than... you know, I'm mad mostly.

You know, there's some sadness, and maybe that will come even more later. But I feel like I'm just more mad at him because I feel like he was just sort of giving up. And he was like, oh, well, it's getting hard, this is getting too hard, and, you know, I... we can't be together. [0:32:02] And at the same time he still says how much he misses me, and so it's still in limbo. And I know that I should just cut all ties and not talk to him any more. But, you know, part of me still wants to? And, you know, the other day I was starting to feel even more angry with him just because it's, you know... everything happened on December 30th. And then, you know, he left. He up and was like, I can't do this any more. And now, because of a situation that happened between him and I, I'm losing my job (pause) a lot sooner and a lot more, you know... in a lot different way than I guess I had anticipated it to happen? [0:32:54] You know, it was sort of like a... okay, end of June, and everything will be fine and happy. And then all this happened, and now, you know, because of it, I lost my job.

And, you know, when I was talking to him on Monday, and I... you know, part of me was sort of feeling bad for myself, like, this is all happening, and, you know, I'm losing my job, and they're being this way. And he's like, we'll at least you didn't move to another city... or get a new job, move to another city, and then get arrested. And it's like, I don't know if he's throwing that in my face or if he's trying to sort of parallel the two or, you know, say, well, it's not that bad. At least this didn't happen. And kind of like, well, you know, you still have your job. You make great money, you have a great apartment. What is the issue? Yes, you got arrested, and we're going to court in a month. And it's likely the charges will get dropped, and then you'll never have to think about it again. Maybe you will, I don't know. [0:33:58] But you didn't lose your job. You're not getting kicked out, you know, with little to... notice and, because of everything that's happening and being, you know, sort of forced to move back to Pennsylvania and, you know, anything else. And so part of me was just sort of feeling kind of angry with him. (inaudible at 0:34:19) I'm sad and upset but I guess more angry than anything else, at least at this stage. So just very anxious about leaving, and I really wanted to go sooner. But I can't, so... two weeks isn't going to be that long. It's already Wednesday I guess (chuckling), so hopefully the time will go by quickly.

THERAPIST: It's really just another week.

CLIENT: Yeah, and, you know, I don't have to be there this weekend or anything. [0:34:58] And, you know, I already started to try and pack up some of my stuff and... as much as I took with me on this past weekend, I'm like, (chuckling) I don't know if all my stuff's going to fit in my car, so I'll try to jam it all in there and see what happens because I don't... obviously the option is not to leave it, then come back and get it. And I'm sure I could leave it at... the other people that I babysit for, they've offered, you know, if I wanted to leave stuff there. So I'll just sort of be juggling and trying to figure out and jamming things, and hopefully (chuckling) it all fits in there.

But I'm feeling anxious about living with my mom and how that's going to end up being, and her boyfriend being there all the time and sort of just... he's very annoying, and he keeps saying, oh, go... he works for a private company that sort of contracted by the federal government down sort of where they live. [0:36:14] And he's like... he must have said ten times about going to apply for a job there. And I'm like, I don't want to work there. And he's the kind of person, he just keeps in your face, in your face, in your face to the point where I sort have to sternly and a little bit nastily say, could you stop asking me this stuff? And then he gets offended because... you know, and tells my mom that I'm mean to him or I don't like him or something like that. And I try to say to my mom, look, he does the same thing with, do you want to try my food? No, thank you, I'm good. And then 20 times later he's still asking you, and you're like, no, stop asking me (chuckling). [0:37:01] And I don't' want to be mean, but there's only so many times you can say it before you're thoroughly annoyed by him asking you that many times in, you know, a ten minute span. It's not like he asks... you know, mentions it a month ago and then mentions it again this month. It's literally in the four days that I was there, not even, he probably told me a good 15 times that I need to apply for this job. Or why don't I do this job? And I should be perfectly happy making minimum wage and $7 and whatever cents it is at whatever job I can find.

And a part of me... when we were sitting at the table, I just blankly was sort of staring at him, thinking to myself, is he really saying this? And then I walked out of the room, and my mom said, you know, can you not say that stuff to her? [0:37:56] That... you know, that's thoroughly inappropriate. You don't need to be bugging her, and you don't need to be telling her that... you know, all of these other things. Just leave her alone, and let her do whatever she needs to do. And, you know, so I appreciate my mom for, you know, partly being... like, she'll butt in and say, shut up because you're really irritating. Because I think it irritates her because he does the same thing to her about everything.

So it's just sort of a conglomerate of things that, over the next month, I'm going to have to really sort of swallow a lot of stuff and bite my tongue and try to make it as un-full-of-tension as possible (chuckling). So we'll see. And I haven't really... I haven't told anyone in my family. I haven't said anything. I was just sort of trying to... when do I...? I just move home, surprise, here I'm back, and the whole, why are you here? And why did you move back? [0:39:02] And feeling like I have to go through that story 15 times. And I kind of just want to be like, just because I wanted to, and move on without having to rehash everything. And I know I don't have to tell them. I'm certainly not going to tell them, you know, about the situation between Kevin and I and all that happened, and just sort of say... be vague about it. But that kind of stuff even gives me anxiety about having to talk about it and re-talk about it and explain things, and I just don't really want to.

THERAPIST: Well, I know there's a lot of things about things about being here you did not like. Is there anything that you will miss?

CLIENT: I will miss the kids. You know, they're innocent in this whole situation whether their parents feel a certain way about me or not and whether I feel a certain way about being here any more. [0:39:59] But, you know, I'll miss the kids, and I'll miss the other family that I babysit for. And, you know, it is... it's a nice area, it's a great area. I'll miss food store (chuckling) because we don't have one close to where I live. And, you know, when I was there this weekend, I was sort of driving around, and I went to, you know, the nail salon that I used to go to and just sort of sitting there thinking, I really don't feel like I fit in around here any more. I sort of feel like I've outgrown this area because everything is just... it's just Pennsylvania. And, I don't know, to me it's just sort of, like, I don't know. I don't know if it's going to be a permanent move back. I'm not sure. I mean, I have to make the best of it while I can, and, you know, I do know the area, and that's fine, and all that stuff. [0:40:55] But a part of me feels like, just being there, I've sort of outgrown everything that's, you know, my life before I moved up here and, you know, being stuck there.

And people were asking me, do you have friends that sort of moved after college or during college that live in other areas that you can go and visit and maybe think about moving there? And I'm like, no, that's the problem. Everybody that I knew, they've... everybody still lives in southern Pennsylvania. Everybody... you know, if they went away to college, they came back. If they... you know, everybody is just there. And, you know, there's exceptions of people that I do know that left. But it's, you know, like, I don't have any desire to sort of... there and back and just stay in that area. I don't know. Now that I've left I don't necessarily want to go back. [0:41:53] I feel there's more opportunities elsewhere, and it's a much... I'd rather live sort of in a suburb of a big city again or live in a city again kind of thing, which was part of why I was looking forward to moving to Columbus in June, had Kevin and I... you know, everything worked out because, you know, it's within walking distance of everything, and, you know, it's just a... it's a different life and a different feel. And living here has definitely been much different than it is in south Pennsylvania. And I'm not necessarily looking forward to going back, but I'm sort of going to look at it as more of a temporary thing and definitely not as a permanent situation.

So I'll miss Providence. I might come back. I'll definitely come back to sort of visit the other people that I babysit for. And I have to come back for court on March 22nd anyway. And I love Providence, I do think it's a great city. I love New Haven, just the whole area and the atmosphere and stuff. So I'll never not come back, but I'm not so sure how I'll be keeping in touch with the family that I work for now. [0:43:00] I don't think that'll actually happen, but there's other people here that I will keep in touch with. And I've met a lot of great people and networked a lot and, you know, just... outside of being there, if everything had worked out and I felt like I was able to get a job here and move, I would consider staying. But, you know, right now at this point it's just not sort of in the cards. And if there was an opportunity to come back I might consider it. So that's it.

THERAPIST: Well Angela (sp?) we're going to need to stop.

CLIENT: Okay.

THERAPIST: It was a pleasure working with you.

CLIENT: Thank you. I'm sorry it's been so short, and (chuckling)...

THERAPIST: I hope it was helpful for the time that we met.

CLIENT: It was, I appreciate it.

THERAPIST: I know it was a particularly stressful time and (inaudible at 43:47) transition.

CLIENT: Yes, and it will continue to be, but...

THERAPIST: It will continue to be, but, you know, please feel free to contact me if I can help in any way. Definitely e-mail me, you know, a couple of towns that will work best for you... [0:44:01]

CLIENT: Okay.

THERAPIST: And I will definitely help you to find a therapist, and...

CLIENT: Great. Thank you very much.

THERAPIST: Sure. I guess logistically I'll send you a statement. I have your credit card, so...

CLIENT: Yeah, you can just bill that [if you want] (ph), and...

THERAPIST: Okay.

CLIENT: Just try and get everything together next week. So that's fine if you just bill that.

THERAPIST: Yeah. Okay, well great. Best of luck to you, okay?

CLIENT: Thank you very much. Thank you.

THERAPIST: Okay, take care.

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