TRANSCRIPT OF AUDIO FILE:

BEGIN TRANSCRIPT:

THERAPIST: I get sore throats, I mean I get sore throats this time of year. It's from, it's mostly from just the dry air. (chuckle)

CLIENT: (inaudible) You have really dry air.

THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah. So. Yeah. (pause from [00:00:19] to [00:00:32]

CLIENT: Not really much to say today, same old same old in the classroom. Stacen's better, I mean we worked without Lori this week. I think they bring each other down. Or somehow, or maybe they just gang up on me, or what I perceive as them ganging up on me. (pause) So yeah. last week we worked without Lori, and yesterday we worked without Lori. And today they are doing without me, but I like the kids in there. They are a challenge because they are always climbing and running and pushing each other but,

THERAPIST: And Stacen and Lori can be a challenge. (chuckle)

CLIENT: Yeah. I don't know, some changes are going to happen. The preschool is changing a little bit, they are going to send my friend Chrissie to preschool. So I probably will end up working with Kat again for a while. I'm interested in finding other jobs. I'm on care.com I think I haven't been doing it right thought.

THERAPIST: That's the kind of, the matching service.

CLIENT: The matches service. And I could like, I mean I could run my own background check, so that the parents know when they contact me I can provide that to them. Which I guess I could do. (pause) I guess I kind of just don't see being able to make enough money to have a family. In the field, I kind of want to get out of it but I don't know how. Especially since like, I don't, you know, I still have my marketing degree, but I don't remember a lot of it, and I don't have the skills that they really want. You know? They have you know, I don't have any like Internet skills because college wasn't teaching it at the time. My professors had no idea about it. [00:03:22]

THERAPIST: Yeah so you don't know how you would make a transition to that.

CLIENT: That's why I thought maybe toy sales would be a good idea. But I don't want to spend long periods of time in my car.

THERAPIST: Doing sales.

CLIENT: Doing sales. (pause) You know.

THERAPIST: Yeah, you don't know when to make a move, when, or where to go.

CLIENT: Yeah, I really don't. (pause)

THERAPIST: What, what's going through -

CLIENT: I'm just thinking about the thing that happened in Connecticut, in Newtown Connecticut. It's just so, it's upsetting and sad. And we haven't been trained on anything like that. Like any, you know,

THERAPIST: Which part of it, you know, which part of it?

CLIENT: Any of the, like gunmen in the center like they haven't trained us on that.

THERAPIST: Like what would happen in the case of something like that?

CLIENT: Yeah. [00:04:57]

THERAPIST: Interesting they haven't addressed that yet. Hm, make you think though. About your own center's vulnerability

CLIENT: Yeah, and they haven't addressed it. I mean they already know that said, they left in the classrooms, that they don't want us to discuss it in front of the children. Fine, but they haven't said like, we'll address this at the next staff meeting, or we're going to update our emergency policy, they haven't even their emergency policy for you know, disasters and floods and bomb scares and I don't know what, it's 10 years out of date. And two of the three places where we are supposed to go are closed. (pause)

THERAPIST: So it's all clearly made you think about what would happen if it happened at your

CLIENT: Right. But, (pause from [00:06:08] to [00:06:54]

So I guess I would like a different job, but I don't know what to do about it. We have this conversation every day, I don't know what to do about it. When I get home I'm exhausted, so I keep working there.

THERAPIST: You say how this is everyday, you mean hear or

CLIENT: Yes. So, Phil is working a lot of different places, including Phoenix.

THERAPIST: Oh yeah, you were saying that last time Arizona, right?

CLIENT: Well Phoenix is in Arizona, but

THERAPIST: Oh, you said something, he was talking about Phoenix.

CLIENT: And I said, if we move to Phoenix, our kids will be [inaudible] fans. And he said, Oh gosh, that sounds terrible. But really I mean, at least they have a baseball team, you know. [00:08:06]

But he's looking everywhere now, instead of just here, and the East Coast.

THERAPIST: Yeah it sounds like he's got to get creative about where he'd go.

CLIENT: Yeah, here is just, everybody is so smart, and everybody is so educated, it just turned out to be very, very competitive. It isn't that he's not smart or educated, he's just competing with a lot of you know.

THERAPIST: Yeah, I know, I guess that's how, I sort of sensed in you, there's this, feeling about the work, about shifting careers being, not only challenging but a bit intimidating. And wondering how, how people see you and kind of, what will they see in you in terms of a value that you might bring to the work. It sounds like you

CLIENT: I don't know what value I bring into the work.

THERAPIST: Yeah, that's what I'm hearing. It sort of feels like you aren't sure what you, what you want to do.

CLIENT: Especially outside the realm of childcare.

THERAPIST: I mean along with some things that just don't maybe align with what you want out of work. Like driving around in a car all day or something similar to do. Yeah, and you are sort of saying that childcare won't pay the bills.

CLIENT: No. Not unless I'm taking care of Tom Brady's new kid. And (inaudible at [00:09:42]) mean like, who knows that they pay.

THERAPIST: Somebody's got to do it.

CLIENT: I have a feeling she probably hires a Brazilian nanny, or her grandmother or something. I mean she has her kids at home, so that like, they can't, I mean I don't know if it's like a Brazilian thing, or if she's out, she, she births her children at home.

THERAPIST: Oh, you mean she gave birth to them at home.

CLIENT: Yeah, so like instead of having a closed wing, like Beyonce' did in New York City, I feel like that's why she does it. But I don't know if it's also a cultural thing in like Brazil to do that. But, yeah, that's, I would like to work for the Bunchen/Brady family, what do you think? I don't speak any other languages. (chuckle) [00:10:34]

THERAPIST: You might have to brush up on your Portuguese

CLIENT: On my Portuguese yeah. Yep.

THERAPIST: Nah, but it's hard, there's not a lot of jobs out there that give you a living wage really. And especially in these kinds of facilities. Did you, when you've looked at other places, did they offer a better salary like, than you

CLIENT: Yeah I think that we are lower paying on the spectrum. But they have really good benefits you know. And other places, like this one place will send you home without pay if there's three teachers in the room and only four kids show up on the day after Christmas. They send two of you home without pay. So they might be paying you $13.00/hour, but you might not get paid for half a week. It also means that quality of care is always at the minimum, because you always have the minimum number of required teachers.

THERAPIST: And you were saying that, I guess you've been talking a little bit about to me about the challenges of being a nanny. About a lot of time by yourself with the kids and not having the kind of support around you.

CLIENT: Right.

THERAPIST: How supported do you feel now? Do you feel pretty, you know in these [00:12:18]

CLIENT: I mean, I don't feel like I'm working alone, I have other people that give me suggestions, or take some kids and do some stuff. In that sense, it's good. But I don't really feel supported by my like directors or anything. Like, I go, I can go with seeing my director, a glimpse of her once. She wasn't at the center on Monday. I don't know if she will be there at all,

(pause from [00:12:46] to [00:13:35])

I don't know. I don't know if I should be looking at like entry level sales jobs or something. That might at least lead to a job in marketing eventually.

THERAPIST: How much have you kind of, how much have you been looking at that stuff? Is it something that you even want to look at at this point? Or do you feel like

CLIENT: I haven't really been looking at it. I just, I also feel like I'm waiting for Phil to get a job somewhere. Because I don't feel like it's fair to any employer if I start and then three months later tell them I'm moving. And I don't think any employer is going to give me two weeks in the middle of May if I start now. You know, for my wedding, so.

THERAPIST: Yeah so you don't know if you want to (inaudible due to background noise) for that.

CLIENT: Right.

THERAPIST: Guess you guys are going to do a honeymoon then?

CLIENT: I'm not sure what we're going to do, but we might, you know. Like, we haven't really talked about it, I haven't looked in to it really. But, I don't know, we'll probably go to like (inaudible) or one of the islands or something like that. [00:15:19]

THERAPIST: How are you guys doing financially right now?

CLIENT: I mean, Phil doesn't make much more than I do. So I guess not so great, but we make rent and we pay our bills. (finger snaps)

THERAPIST: I see. You are more thinking of how are you going to make it financially when you have a child. (pause from [00:16:15] to [00:16:43])

CLIENT: Yeah, you know, I know we aren't going to have a kid until we are married, but I don't want to wait that long.

THERAPIST: Have you thought much about when you want to start?

CLIENT: I mean, I do want to start before I turn 30, but it might not work out that way. (pause from [00:17:12] to [00:17:42]

THERAPIST: I was wondering if you would feel like, would you be more in line with, you know, a mom who stays, stays with her kids. Focuses on that.

CLIENT: I would, yeah. But it's really hard for me to admit that. Because like, I think I would feel like, I were cheating or something.

THERAPIST: How do you, yeah tell me, how would you be cheating?

CLIENT: I don't know. It's not that stay at home mom's have it easy, but like, I feel like everybody in the family is supposed to work. Mom and dad are both supposed to work. [00:18:45]

THERAPIST: Yeah, how come?

CLIENT: I don't know why.

THERAPIST: Is that something that you got from your folks?

CLIENT: I guess in order to be able to live comfortably. Or make enough so the kids can go to summer camp, or college or I don't know, something like that.

(pause from [00:19:16] to [00:19:47])

I mean, I would prefer to work three or four days of the week as opposed to five.

THERAPIST: That would be ideal than not working.

CLIENT: Yeah, I mean, not working or working three or five days three or four days out of the week. It's because I feel like I can get more things done for myself. Like I haven't had an adjustment, Chiropractic adjustment in like two or three months, and my neck hurts and my shoulder hurts but the chiropractor that is near my work, has a practice on the south shore so he goes there for the evenings. So I have to get to his office before 4:00, but I don't stop work until 5:00, so like, I don't know. Maybe I should just see the chiropractor that's downstairs? [00:20:29]

THERAPIST: Oh here?

CLIENT: Yeah.

THERAPIST: Maybe that's what you need, is an appointment or something like that (ph)

CLIENT: So, (pause) I guess that's my like main thing. Is that I can't get anything done for myself working 9 to 5. And like, I don't know, that's what my dad did. He worked four days a week, he was able to do that because of money in his trust, I guess from his grandmother or mother or something. But the money in my trust has gone to household expenses and rent and things. (pause) Oh, and my parents have to sell the house, I cant remember, I don't know if I told you this last week or not. So I'm upset about that, and I hope that she doesn't have to sell it before this summer. [00:22:18]

THERAPIST: Well there's some, I mean it reminds me then of I guess some sort of guilt you feel. A general guilt, whether it's about your parents helping you out with the wedding, for the wedding, you know, it's a cost to them. Or this feeling of what would it mean for you to be a stay at home mom. And to be kind of, I guess in some way feeling, I was wondering if some way, what it brings up in some way, if you feel given to. And you start to feel like, well what am I giving or something, or?

CLIENT: No, it's like,

THERAPIST: Or am I contributing? Yeah please.

CLIENT: I guess, I don't know, I guess I just feel like, I don't know I guess I always thought that parents are supposed to work. Like, work jobs. And so, not that I have anything against stay at home moms, or that I wouldn't enjoy it. I just think that AI would feel like, a little trapped. And I would feel like, yeah, you know, like not contributing financially. Even though like, the savings on child care would be significant. [00:24:06]

THERAPIST: Yeah, most especially now, (inaudible)

CLIENT: Well right. I mean, but even if

THERAPIST: You'd be paying to work basically.

CLIENT: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, unless you were to get some sort of voucher or,

THERAPIST: Oh right.

CLIENT: Sliding scale thing. But as long as somebody's making like I think, $40,000 a year

THERAPIST: Family, family.

CLIENT: You make 50, or you don't really get that much.

THERAPIST: Very quickly it becomes to those points where you are paying to work if you're going to do that.

CLIENT: Right, oh, and I saw Dave, and Gina and the baby this weekend. And Gina was, she wasn't terrible to me, but she wasn't cold or anything, but she also wasn't like super warm or anything. And like Gina, I don't know, she goes hot and cold I guess. Because she was working on her relationship with her sister really hard, because she and her sister had a baby like four days apart. And then her sister was really terrible to her at Thanksgiving, and now Gina has time to talk to me again. At least that's what it feels like. [00:25:33]

THERAPIST: On the heels of kind of being upset with her sister?

CLIENT: Yeah. Because before she was spending all this time and energy on her sister, the relationship with her sister and treating me like dirt. And now that she's not talking to her sister, she has time to like spend time on the relationship with me and Phil. I don't know, but like, I was playing with the baby, and I haven't picked up the baby or anything and I sat next to the baby, and Gina was in the rocking chair. I held out my hand to the baby, Gina's in with the baby in the rocking chair and the, you know, the baby and I were like touching hands. And she went in and out of the rocking chair and I said can I hold the baby? And Gina was like, well, I don't know, and like she gave me the baby. And like I faced the baby towards Gina so the baby could see her mother, and the baby was fine. Like, I think it's really Gina that has the separation anxiety and like, she grew up in a home with just her mother and her father was like an abusive alcoholic that they like kicked out of the house when she was like, I don't know, 7 or 8.[00:26:48]

And so I feel like she built up these walls to protect herself, and it ends up not, I asked about her maid of honor, her name is Gillian. And apparently Gillian had went through a divorce and like they aren't talking anymore. She says she doesn't care, she's like, I don't care, like I understand that she like needed a complete change in her life, and like, and I was like she says she doesn't care, but that was supposed to be her best friend. Like, I don't get it. And so, like, I feel like she, I don't know I feel like she puts up all these walls to protect herself, and ends up coming off as like a major bitch. And she doesn't let anybody in. [00:27:35]

THERAPIST: Doesn't let you hold her baby without a lost of discomfort.

CLIENT: And in the past, when I have held the baby. Like, when we start like looking at each other and talking to each other, me and the baby, somebody will swoop over and take the baby out of my arms. Yeah. So, (pause) We are going to see them again over Christmas, I just hope the baby will recognize me and Phil. (pause) [00:28:15]

THERAPIST: But she's anxious about letting you in.

CLIENT: I mean I think she feels intimidated by my knowledge of like children in that age group. But I didn't say anything about, like any of that when I was there. I just asked one question about the way she sits, and if the doctor had said anything about it, because I heard that

THERAPIST: The baby, how the baby sits.

CLIENT: The baby sits, like if you, they like tuck their ankles back, it's called the W position, so like you're sitting up like this and one leg is, both legs are tucked back like this and their butt is on the ground like some of the (crosstalking)

THERAPIST: Oh yeah, they kind of spread them out.

CLIENT: They spread them out this way, with one leg. And I asked them if the doctor had said anything about it. Because I heard, I had heard that it's not good for the kid, but I've never heard like, I've never read it anywhere, I've never heard like, a doctor say it. It's just an urban myth among teachers I guess. [00:29:26]

And they said they didn't know, but that Gina said she heard that it was bad for them. But like, I didn't say anything like, you know, such and such wise, like, this is what so and so says, this is what you should do here, like,

THERAPIST: Well it's interesting here, again, we've been talking, and it seems like there it is again, this kind of, this kind of feeling you have about, what if I come across as too opinionated or something like that.

CLIENT: Yeah, too smart.

THERAPIST: Too smart, right, right. And that it will be a, kind of a turn off in a way. It will make her want to build a wall between you and her, and I think that you must sense that somehow around the baby. About the

CLIENT: Rick told me through Phil to back off.

THERAPIST: Well they did, they literally did, and now when you are around the baby, it's like, well here's one area, as you, I think you put it, you put it to me I think when we started talking about it. Actually it's your mode, you having a, you being able to hold the baby and kind of have some expertise, is your way of actually connecting with her, with Gina, who is hard to connect with. You, what I hear that you felt, it was like a benign approach to say, to kind of say, you know I'm worried about you know, I see this about your kid. I've got some expertise. Or I'm going to hold, hey, let me have a shot at holding your kid, it's some way I can be helpful. [00:31:10]

CLIENT: The child is also being taken care of by her grandmother. Like her grandmother lives in their bungalow top floor. And so,

THERAPIST: Gina's mom?

CLIENT: Gina's mom, yeah. So, she doesn't have like a bright social smile,

THERAPIST: The baby?

CLIENT: The baby. And like I worry that the baby is, well she's shy, and I worry that the baby doesn't get out much, doesn't see strangers very often. Which I guess, you know, you're keeping your baby safe, but like, you want to see that social smile at whatever she is, eleven months.

THERAPIST: You mean whenever she sees somebody that she smiles and responds to somebody else

CLIENT: Right, I don't, yeah.

THERAPIST: I see, okay.

CLIENT: She doesn't have like a big, bright smile the way I would expect and eleven month old to. But I think that's a product of her not being around lot's of strangers. Like I can usually get any of the babies in the baby room to smile. But I, it's a little harder to get her to smile. [00:32:19]

THERAPIST: So she's kind of an over protected baby?

CLIENT: yeah.

THERAPIST: And it hasn't been good for her, almost like it's been, like how prepared is her for like a social

CLIENT: Well, here's the thing, Gina is pregnant again, and due three days after the wedding. And is already announced that she's not coming to the wedding. She told me she is disappointed when she found out her due date, that she wasn't going to be able to make it. But like, if you go early, you could have a three month old at the meeting house. But whatever. I mean like, it's not like they counted and planned it. But like, it feels like she did it on purpose. [00:33:09]

THERAPIST: Yeah, if you follow out that idea, what would be her rationality?

CLIENT: Her rationality would be, I don't like this girl, I don't want to go to her wedding. I don't want to have anything to do with her, let me find a real excuse. But I know that's ridiculous. They told us that they weren't expecting to give Janie a brother or sister so quickly. But like, but still like,

THERAPIST: It sort of seems to bring up something that you sense in her, towards you.

CLIENT: Well the fact that she already announced that she's not coming to the wedding. And the fact that, Dave will probably only come for the wedding. I mean, I would really like him there, the night before.

THERAPIST: He is the best man.

CLIENT: But Phil has never asked him to be the best man.

THERAPIST: Oh right.

CLIENT: But I do want him there for Phil, because I'm stress puking, my sister's going to have to deal with that. Who's going to help him out when he starts stress puking the night before? Not me. Not my sister.

THERAPIST: You have your own stress puking to do.

CLIENT: Right. So like, Anna's boyfriend? Like Chrissie? You know, Chrissie wants to steal me as her wife, so

THERAPIST: Chrissie wants to steal you as her wife.

CLIENT: Yeah, Chrissie wants to be my husband. But she's like no, I mean it's a joke, but still.

THERAPIST: How would she do, as a husband?

CLIENT: She'd be a good husband.

THERAPIST: Really?

CLIENT: Yeah, she would.

THERAPIST: Why? How's that?

CLIENT: She brews beer!

THERAPIST: She drinks beer?

CLIENT: She brews beer.

THERAPIST: She brews beer.

CLIENT: And she has a car, and she can cook. She'd be a good husband. [00:34:59] But, anyway.

THERAPIST: Yeah you were saying that Gina has this kind of,

CLIENT: Like, instead of, announcing it already, why don't you say, oh, we'll see when I give birth, like I'm due pretty close.

THERAPIST: It was like she was very quick to point that out.

CLIENT: Like it would be the worst thing in the world if you gave birth in Virginia. Everybody makes birth plans now a days, and like follows the four step process of going into labor. I don't need that.

THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah. Again the wall. Something you are detecting about the wall. (pause) And certain, maybe the wall is part due to, like her own history, but something she picks up from you in terms of feeling a little intimidated by your education, or your

CLIENT: She's got a master's degree.

THERAPIST: Is that, is that what you sense though from her in some way? Intimidated by intelligence?

CLIENT: I don't know, I mean she's not that smart. She's not as smart as she thinks she is.

THERAPIST: Think she feels that way around you?

CLIENT: Well, maybe. I guess some people feel that way around me. I never intend to make anybody feel that way.

THERAPIST: Well that's the thing, that's what we've been getting at too, man. [00:36:48]

CLIENT: But like, like I said earlier, this is one of the smartest cities in the nation. If you can't spar with me on an intellectual level, maybe you should move to Phoenix.

THERAPIST: (chuckle) Maybe you should be on your way out to Phoenix.

CLIENT: Yeah, you know.

THERAPIST: What do you, I just kind of find it important in relevance somehow, that you've come a long way from the beginning of this session saying, I've got to get out of Phoenix, I mean, I've got to go to Phoenix because it's too, Phil are finding it too tough here. To like, you feel like, wait a second, maybe it, maybe it's a, I'm right for the city.

CLIENT: I am right for the city. I love, I mean I used to hate it here. I like it now. I mean it's clean easy to get around, I mean the bus, everybody complains about the buses. It was, it was quarter after 12 when I walked out of Marshall's, the new Marshall's down by the stadium. I said, shit I'm going to have to take a taxi. Then a bus pulled up that was going downtown, and I got on the bus, and I was here on time, you know. Got on the. And everybody complains, the bus sucks, the bus sucks. Like, yes they suck, but where else are you going to get around the entire city for $70 a month? [00:38:22]

THERAPIST: Yeah too, but

CLIENT: But the thing about the city is that everybody is educated. Everybody has internship experience and you know, has done worked three jobs in college, you know.

THERAPIST: It's interesting though that

CLIENT: It's hard to compete.

THERAPIST: You can, you can both feel intimidated by it, and the intimidator.

CLIENT: Yeah, it's because I'm like in the middle of the educated scale.

THERAPIST: I was also thinking though that in some way, I think that you might feel intimidated when as a way, to kind of, not being the intimidator. That, that, you found over the course of your life in some ways, being the intimidator means people build up walls between you and them. [00:39:21](pause)

Not that that's the whole explanation, but there's something about how I noticed that you can talk about, you know people like Stacen or Lori, like you, you back away from being the person that can be perceived as, as coming off as more educated, or to have a strong opinion about something. Because you know it can ruffle peoples feathers. It can intimidate them. They might react with hostility, not cower, but maybe like, be hostile. So in a lot, I think sometimes when you feel that, when you sense that, you go to a position of feeling actually strangely intimidated by that. Not strangely, but [00:40:23]

CLIENT: No, I know what you mean.

(pause from [00:40:26] to [00:41:04])

I mean, Phil's ready to get out of here, and I'm okay with moving. I'm going to miss it. But, it's part of the change in me. And in terms of intimidating people, like I know that I do it sometimes. But like, it's never my intention. You know, if you ask me my opinion, I'm going to tell you. Sometimes I'll tell you without you asking. But.

THERAPIST: Ah, do you feel like it'd kind of a criticism, that seems intimidating?

CLIENT: Yes.

THERAPIST: You do. Yeah, what about?

CLIENT: If you are intimidating, you are not friendly enough, approachable. (pause from [00:41:47] to [00:42:08]

THERAPIST: Yeah, just to say, when I say intimidating, I don't see it as a criticism at all. I guess I sort of see it as, you having a demonstration of your intellect. And actually, often times in positive kind of ways.

CLIENT: Who was that woman in Devil Wears Prada? The one who won all the Oscars recently?

THERAPIST: Oh, the Meryl Streep character?

CLIENT: Yeah, Meryl Streep. I love Meryl Streep, I think she's great. But I can imagine that working with her would be super intimidating. But like, I don't want to be like, hard to work with, or mean. I feel like intimidating is the same as mean.

THERAPIST: Oh. Huh. Well no wonder then that it's hard to negotiate these things with somebody like Gina or Stacen. Because you are going to be imbued into the meaning of meanness in some way. You like, I want to take, here's, here's an opinion on your baby, and that she might think it as, I don't know, you might seem critical or something of her. [00:43:30]

CLIENT: I guess, I mean like, I guess she asked me to back off because she felt it to be overbearing. But Ashe should have done it to my face. I mean like it would have been like super uncomfortable, but like at least I wouldn't have had to hear it from Phil in the parking lot, before going up to their house. Like.

THERAPIST: Well maybe one was something too, about you trying to clarify with her what your intentions are. I mean I remember when you were talking to me about those instances that led her to say that was that it seemed to me that you were trying to bridge something with her. Not to be intimidated, not to intimidate her or to be overbearing, but instead to kind of bridge, to actually make a bridge with her. To say, hey, I'm in your family now. I want to take care of your, I want to help you, I want to connect with you. Not the exact opposite, of a mean kind of standoffish, quite the opposite it seems to me. [00:44:34]

CLIENT: Yeah. I mean, but, she always has walls up. So like, you know, she felt like I don't know, like I was trying to break down her wall or something. I mean maybe I was. But like, she Oneshe needs to get over herself, people have children every day. I mean like, I say that so critically and then when I have kids it will be totally different. But like, I think it's really unnatural to take care of one kid, in one house, you know, all by yourself. With like grandma sort of you know, grandma doing the care-taking,

THERAPIST: With a wall around you.

CLIENT: Right. You know, and like when Hilary Clinton said it takes a village to raise a child, like and you leave, like your mom and your baby home alone. Like, that's why I worry about being a nanny, because I would be isolated and I wouldn't have my village. You know, like, I wouldn't have other people around to help me. Other adults around to help me. [00:46:00]

THERAPIST: Yeah, yeah, no. It's very, I think it's a, your relationship with Gina is a lot more than you being mean or intimidating, I mean I understand that maybe she feels intimidated, or that it's overbearing in some way. But I hear you trying to break through that wall. Kind of going, this is what mom's need. To tell you the truth Crystal, there's a lot of people who would welcome that. Somebody to take the baby for a minute or two. Somebody who knows what they are doing. Oh my God. And feel like, I've got somebody that's in my family that knows a lot about childhood education.

CLIENT: I mean that's what my sister said to me. You can come down, when I have a baby, you can come down anytime you want and take that baby from me.

THERAPIST: (laughter)

CLIENT: And she's told me like, you're going to raise my baby from two years to four years and then I'll give him back to you at like thirteen, and then we'll send him to boarding school. (laughter) She said that to me, because she likes kids, and she might want kids but not the same way I do, you know.

THERAPIST: And she'd welcome it. She'd welcome you taking the baby away. Playing with the baby. Telling her what you know about babies, and it's a lot of anxiety off a mom goes through. To have somebody that would help.

CLIENT: You should go become a chiropractor too.

THERAPIST: Yeah, fix your back? (chuckle)

CLIENT: Yeah, spend like 45 minutes on therapy, and 15 minutes on back.

THERAPIST: Realignment huh. Well, I guess I'm trying to

CLIENT: You're trying to like expand.

THERAPIST: I am trying to realign the way you sort of see these interactions. (pause) [00:48:27]

CLIENT: Am I allowed to get you sticky oaks (ph) for Christmas, as long as they are under $10?

THERAPIST: (chuckle) sure.

CLIENT: Okay.

THERAPIST: But we are going to, what did you bring some?

CLIENT: If I had brought some they would be up there already. (laughter)

THERAPIST: No, we are, thank you. Our plan is to buy some. You don't have to do that. Thank you though.

CLIENT: You're welcome.

THERAPIST: That's very nice.

CLIENT: I know that technically patients aren't supposed to give their therapist gifts.

THERAPIST: I don't know if that's the case.

CLIENT: It's not.

THERAPIST: I've never seen that. I guess if it was a sports car or something, it would be

CLIENT: It would be..

THERAPIST: I'm not one to turn down a sports car.

CLIENT: Okay, if somebody gives you a sports car, I'll take care of it. You won't need it.

THERAPIST: Alright. (chuckle)

CLIENT: You won't need it.

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